Sunday, January 8, 2017

Movie Review: "xXx" (2002)

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Movie"xXx"
Director: Rob Cohen
Year: 2002
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

Extreme athlete Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) is tapped by the NSA for a secret mission to infiltrate the terrorist group known as Anarchy 99.

Why? Because two words: Vin. Diesel.

"xXx" is directed by Rob Cohen, who brought us films like "The Fast and the Furious," "Daylight," and "Stealth." It is written by Rich Wilkes, who has previously written screenplays for movies like "Airheads" and "The Stoned Age." It stars Vin Diesel as Xander Cage, the ultimate extreme athlete, who is tapped by the NSA to infiltrate the terrorist group Anarchy 99 because why the hell not? We all know being able to snowboard, dirt bike, base jump, and being really good at first-person shooter video games will give you all the skills you need to be a secret agent!! Obviously!! Forget years of training for combat and espionage, Xander can parasail!! As we enter the 'Xander Zone,' Cage puts all of his extreme athlete skills to use as he jumps his dirt bike on conveniently placed ramps, never forgetting to table-top or Superman to make sure he is also looking as cool as hell while fighting to stop Anarchy 99 and their solar-powered submarine. Speaking of looking cool, Xander is always in fashion with his leather jacket featuring an amazingly fluffy collar and lapels.

There was a time in the early 2000's when extreme sports and the X-Games were becoming popular very rapidly, so marketers and Hollywood felt the need to stick an X in front of or on everything because then, everything could be EXTREME! So, if one X is good from a marketing standpoint, three X's must be three times as good. Just don't make the mistake we did and Google it. This is an absurd movie with an absolutely ridiculous premise clearly only sprung from someone brain as the result of the X-Games fad. It is a terribly made mindless action flick with awful dialogue, terrible acting, a dopey plot, and paper thin characters...but goddamn it, Vin Diesel rules. Because of this, "xXx" winds up being moderately entertaining due to its overabundance of unintentionally hilarious moments and cheesy lines of dialogue. Every attempt the director makes to have something look cool on screen, we can't help but laugh at because of how downright ridiculous it is. Still, this may be your cup of tea for precisely that reason. We know it's ours.


My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 48%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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