Welcome to our list of the MOST DISAPPOINTING MOVIES of 2016!
10) "Collateral Beauty" - We really enjoyed the trailer for this movie, and you *know* we were all about its all-star cast: Kate Winslet, Will Smith, Helen Mirren, Edward Norton, Naomie Harris, Keira Knightely, and more. If our "worst movies of 2016" list told you anything, it's that "Collateral Beauty" is a garbage-fest in terms of its content, but it's also one of the most disappointing movies of the year as well. Because of the prestigious actresses and actors lining the cast list and due to the "tug at your heartstrings" style of story, when we were utterly manipulated by the *actual* plot of the film, we left feeling not only disgusted, but upset at how disheartening it is that all of these people would choose to partake in such a negative, deceitful project. Skip this one.
9) "Certain Women" - The awards circuits *loved* "Certain Women" and have touted its many brilliant indie qualities. Though we had not heard much about it when we saw it, we were excited about it because of its excellent cast and seemingly sumptuous subject matter. In reality, the alternate title for this movie could be "Montana Women Staring Pensively." Seriously, that's all that happens. We understand the subtleties of the unsaid by the main characters, and "we appreciate stories that take their time to unravel, movies made for the sake of artistic integrity, but the cardinal sin of film making is producing something insipid and tired, which most certainly fits in this case. No amount of talented actors with understated, subtle performances, and no amount of gorgeous cinematography of snowy hills and mountainous landscapes will change that."
8) "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" - We love the original "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." It's a very cute, very fun romantic comedy with genuine heart. "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" is nothing more than a rehashed cash-grab. Instead of being endearing, "it's simply spinning its wheels and filling time until it gets to the lavish wedding at the end of it all. It's cool that everyone from the original film was able to make it to this sequel, but not for the sake of good acting, a cohesive story, or really, necessity."
7) "Independence Day: Resurgence" - This long-oft sequel might be worth your hard earned money for the visual spectacle alone, but just know "Independence Day: Resurgence" is nowhere near entertaining in any other manner of speaking. It drags on and on and on, it sacrifices character development in exchange for pizzazz in the form of battles scenes, and suffers from a lack of engagement, a lack of interest, and a lack of talent. It's all flash and no substance, and boring substance at that. What a letdown.
6) "Jack Reacher: Never Go Back" - Watch Tom run! Run, Tom, Run! "Jack Reacher: Never Go Back" is a waste of a movie. We are so disappointed this film exists in its current capacity. Though it is just under two hours long, it is dull and tiresome. The script is borderline dreadful. Some of the lines of dialogue made us laugh out loud at their absurdity. "Everything about this film, from the poorly constructed action scenes to the overly messy story, from the stupid, pointless super-soldier villain to a random, unnecessary plot device character that brings the entire thing down, this sequel is as basic and as poorly constructed as they come."
5) "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" - Ang Lee is a fantastic director...most of the time. The trailer for "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" really got us with its chilling song and intriguing dialogue choices. Though the underlying irony of the subject matter is not lost on us, this film could have been an engaging, emotional, powerful critique on war and patriotism. Instead, Lee's decision to implement odd directorial choices, such as hyper facial close ups and the use of a high frame rate 4K 3D shooting style, distracts from the weight of such a story. It's an otherwise pedestrian affair with shoehorned in, phony, disingenuous plot points for dramatic effect and a severely lacking script.
4) "Assassin's Creed" - Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, and Jeremy Irons, need we say more? Many thought "Assassin's Creed" would be the video game film everyone has been waiting for, one that might not suck too hard like all the rest. We were all wrong. This is a movie with massive amounts of wasted potential that, once again, dash the hopes that one day a good video game adaptation will ever be made. It has virtually no character development, awfully constructed action sequences, and is PG-13 to its detriment (as it is adapted from an ultra-violent MA game). "It's a shame Fassbender put all of his eggs in this wretched basket and produced this film, too, because it's a double whammy of awful for him."
3) "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" - Let us say this first: we liked "Batman v. Superman," but we didn't love it. We were, however, disappointed by the fact that, for all of the hype that went into it, we left the theater massively underwhelmed by this supposed "battle royale." For a movie called "Batman v. Superman," there's not a whole lot of "v." about it. It's too chaotic, messy, and uneven, too CGI-heavy, and too stuffed with extraneous, unnecessary details that frankly hindered our enjoyment of the movie as a whole. The parts we liked are not enough to make this a timeless or classic comic book film we will revisit multiple times in the future.
2) "The Girl on the Train" - What a massive trainwreck, no pun intended. Luckily, Emily Bunt elevates this book-to-movie adaptation from something horrible, but it's still a huge, underwhelming bummer. We were very much looking forward to an intense murder mystery, when really, "The Girl on the Train" is mostly boring, full of jagged, uneven storytelling, and mediocre writing. Even good acting can't help it from being a poorly paced, unimaginative drudgery of a drama mystery.
1) "Suicide Squad" - From the second the first trailer for "Suicide Squad" dropped, we were hooked. The hype for the movie infected our household to the point where we watched the trailer dozens of times looking for clues as to what or who could be making an appearance in a movie with the "worst. heroes. ever." What a stunning failure of a movie on multiple levels. We don't absolutely hate this film, but we sure as hell dislike the final product, if that makes any sense. This film is the Harley Quinn and Deadshot show, through and through. The narrative gets lost somewhere along the way as several villains are completely underdeveloped in favor of Harley and Deadshot. The execution of the material is too hit and miss to make this band of misfits stand apart from the mediocre. Though the makeup work is often excellent, the CGI is abysmal. "We wanted more mayhem, more destruction, more madness, the chaos we were promised from the two trailers we watched. David Ayer seemed like he was more concerned with putting together a baller soundtrack and a worthwhile (but mostly absent) portrayal of the the Joker from Jared Leto than he was developing all of its characters properly or making a cohesive story with good (rather than shoddy) editing. We need to watch this one again, but all we can feel is dismay and sadness that "Suicide Squad" was, and remained, the most disappointing film of 2016.