Movie Review: "Martin" (1976)

Image Source

Movie: "Martin"
Director: George A. Romero
Year: 1976
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

Martin (John Amplas) believes he is a vampire, but not your typical vampire with fangs that hates garlic and burns in the sun. He just likes to drink the blood of others. He does so by drugging them and slicing open a vein to drink his victim's blood. His cousin Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) believes Martin is a legitimate Nosferatu, including all the mystical, magical parts of being a vampire, and wants to cleanse Martin's soul before destroying him.

This is a rather interesting movie about a young man who is really a mentally disturbed serial killer. Despite being a killer who drinks their blood, he's almost sort of sympathetic. It's definitely a unique take on the idea of a vampire. One big drawback of the film is its pacing: it's pretty darn slow-moving and has that horror element running throughout, but it really is a drama at its core. Pretty decent, but nothing we'd watch again.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 96%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Black Sunday" (1960)

Image Source

Movie: "Black Sunday"
Director: Mario Bava
Year: 1960
Rating: UR
Running Time: 1 hour, 27 minutes

A witch and her servant are executed and buried for dealing with the devil. Two centuries later,  a pair of doctors come across her tomb and accidentally break the cross that was keeping her soul from re-rising from the grave. She resurrects her servant from the grave and entrusts him to find her a host to re-inhabit so she can live again.

This is a kind of cool black and white Italian horror flick. It's pretty tame by today's standards, but for its time, was probably pretty gory or risque. There's a scene at the beginning in which a demon mask (the Italian title of the film) full of spikes is hammered onto the witches face...that scene is pretty awesome and memorable. Other than that, it's a cross between a vampire/witch hunt/Satan worshiper movie where the witch can turn victims into servants of hers through biting them. Barbara Steele does double-duty as the witch and the princess, who the witch wants to possess. It does run slow at some points but has a good sort of classic feel to it. I was pretty bored, but BigJ enjoyed it overall.

My Rating: 5.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 83%
Do we recommend this movie: I say meh, BigJ says sure, why not?

Movie Review: "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984)

Image Source

Movie: "A Nightmare on Elm Street"
Director: Wes Craven
Year: 1984
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 31 minutes

The kids of Elm Street are tormented in their dreams by Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), a child murderer who was burned to death by local townspeople. He stalks the kids down and murders them in their nightmares, but when he does so, they die in real life, leaving the kids of Elm Street knowing that every single time they fall asleep, it could be their last.

"One...two...Freddy's coming for you..."

Another classic, wonderful Halloween horror movie! My appreciation for this movie skyrockets each time we watch it. Freddy Krueger has become one of the most if not THE most iconic horror villain of all time. It has the same type of generic plot as most horror slashers do, and yet it is completely unique in its execution. The way he handles his victims is different than many slasher films because the kill isn't quick. Freddy likes to taunt, torment, and torture his victims through many different dreams before finally offing them in many different, creative, and bloody ways. There is a lot of humor to Freddy that is not common among other horror villains, which makes "A Nightmare on Elm Street" more unique. There's something so geniunely terrifying about the prospect of being haunted and taunted in your dreams...to me, this movie is completely frightening because, eventually, we all have to sleep. The only part we don't particularly like is the final showdown between Freddy and Nancy (Heather Lagenkamp). It's sort of anticlimactic, and the build-up to that point is so big that  that it makes the ending suffer...but we can overlook this.

Overall, a fantastic addition to any Halloween marathon!

And Johnny Depp's 80's haircut is spectacular.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 95%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Twixt" (2011)

Image Source

Movie: "Twixt"
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Year: 2011
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 28 minutes

Horror novelist Hall Baltimore (Val Kilmer) goes to a small town for an autograph signing. There is something very strange about the town, mainly the fact that the town's clock tower has seven faces, none of which show the same time. He meets the towns sheriff LaGrange (Bruce Dern), who is a fan of his, and has an idea for a novel based on vampires. Desperate for a new book and money, Hall takes the sheriff up on his offer to write his story. Hall begins seeing a mysterious vampire named V (Elle Fanning) in his dreams and must piece together what's going on.

Francis Ford Coppola, what U doin'????????

This movie resembles a David Lynch film, not to a Coppola one. The plot makes no sense and really doesn't have any direction. It jumps all over the place between "dream sequences" (at least we think they were dream sequences...). Despite the plot not making any sense, the end of the movie seemed predictable.

It looks like Coppola was trying to be artistic or experimental, and for us, it was a failure. He only makes movies that please himself now, so he has every right to try experimental pieces, but we probably won't go looking for them if they are anything like this weird ass movie. We hate to use the term "washed up" for the director of one of our all-time favorite movies ever made, but this was just bad. Really bad.

PS: The years have not been well to Val Kilmer. Hold off on the hair-slick, baby boy, you can thank us later.

My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 31%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "Saw" (2004)

Image Source

Movie: "Saw"
Director: James Wan
Year: 2004
Rating: R (possibly NC-17)
Running Time: 1 hour, 43 minutes

After waking up in a dark room chained to the walls, Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Carey Elwes) and Adam Faulkner-Stanheight (Leigh Whannell) have no idea what they are doing there or how they got there. A short time passes, and after some searching, they find some cassette tapes. The tapes contain messages for each of the men letting them know what they have to do in order to get out of their situation. These tapes are "the rules" of "the game." The rules are simple: Gordon must kill Adam in order to save himself and the lives of his wife and daughter, and Adam must stay alive and may have to kill Gordon in order to do it.

This movie is fan-freaking-tastic.
You never expect it to end the way it does.
It's an exceptionally gritty crime/thriller/horror movie, and it is genuinely scary because IT IS entirely possible to end up in a room fighting for your life at the hands of a crazy person.
Jigsaw as a character seems to see himself on a moral high-ground, and the actions of putting his victims in their respective situations, playing these games, is somehow doing THE VICTIM a favor so they value their lives more.
It's pretty genius the way this movie plays out, the way it makes you feel and look inside yourself to question if you would go to the lengths Jigsaw's victims do.
It is graphic, but not nearly as graphic as some of its sequels (which are much less amazing).
We like the fact that this movie doesn't boast a huge cast of huge stars, I think that would have taken away some of its "oomph." Then again, this is typical of James Wan, to not use the biggest named stars in Hollywood.

Don't watch this before bed, if you value your sleep. It's one that will keep you up for a night or two because you can't get over how good it is.

PS: This movie has a bitchin' score!

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 48%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight" (1995)

Image Source

Movie: "Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight"
Director: Ernest R. Dickerson
Year: 1995
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

A man named Brayker (William Sadler) is on the run from a demon masquerading as a human, called The Collector (Billy Zane ZOMG). Brayker is protecting a seal from The Collector which contains the blood of Jesus. He tries to hide in a seedy hotel in a small town with a varying cast of townspeople, who are now under the threat of a demon attack. The Collector must get his hands on the seal in order to bring about the apocalypse.

In the off chance that you're reading this, I LUV U BILLY ZANE.

In typical "Tales from the Crypt" fashion, this movie combines comedy and horror to create a fun movie experience. It's a gore-driven, enjoyable movie filled with blood-splatters, demons, popping goo, and...Jada Pinkett-Smith??? It boasts a solid cast and a pretty decent story overall. The makeup work on the demons in this movie is actually very well done, though some of the computer driven effects are mediocre. All in all, we'd catch another "Tales from the Crypt" movie if it was on based on this viewing experience alone!

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 32%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: Manos: The Hands of Fate" (1966)

Image Source

Movie: "Manos: The Hands of Fate"
Director: Joel HodgsonHarold P. Warren
Year: 1966
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 14 minutes

A couple and their young daughter get lost out in the desert while on vacation. They come across a strange and remote house and are greeted by Torgo (John Reynolds). He informs them that it is the house of the master and that they should not stay there, but their car will not start. They are stranded. Eventually, they meet up with the master, who runs a satanic cult, who is always looking to add new brides to his cult.

When you watch a movie you know is going to be bad, sometimes you get lucky with gems like "The Room," and other times you wind up with "Manos: The Hands of Fate." This movie is just BAD. There are no redeeming qualities to it whatsoever. A long boring opening features a car driving around past fields. The audio has been replaced and dubbed over by two people...every single character is voiced by two people. It's classified as a horror movie, and yet the only horror it contains is the fact that it exists. DO NOT EVER watch this movie if you value your time. And ears. And life.

My Rating: 0/10
BigJ's Rating: 0/10
IMDB's Rating: 1.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 0%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "Jack Brooks Monster Slayer" (2007)

Image Source

Movie: "Jack Brooks Monster Slayer"
Director: John Knautz
Year: 2007
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 25 minutes

Jack Brooks (Trevor Matthews) has anger issues. He has had them ever since he saw his entire family eaten by a monster while camping in the woods when he was a child. He now works as a plumber while going to night school on the insistence of his girlfriend Eve (Rachel Skarsten). He routinely sees a psychiatrist to try and get his rage issues under control. After Jack has helped his science professor Crowley (Robert Englund) with some plumbing work, Crowley finds a cursed heart in his backyard. The heart possesses professor Crowley, turning him into a monster.

This movie is pretty damn funny! The monsters are cool looking, and throughout the movie, all of the effects are done with FX makeup, no CGI, which is a nice change from many modern horror movies. It's very similar stylistically to "Army of Darkness," especially since it features a mouthy protagonist who delivers very good comedic lines. The majority of the story involves the origin of Jack Brooks, where he came from, who he is, and who he became. Though the words "monster slayer" are featured in the title, there is actually very little monster slaying until the end of the movie. Most of the early horror is gross-out horror, things vomiting and such, and later, the movie turns into a splatter-house comedy. Overall, wholly entertaining!

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 60%
Do we recommend this movie: I say sure, why not, and BigJ says yes!

Movie Review: "Poltergeist" (1982)

Image Source

Movie: "Poltergeist"
Director: Tobe Hooper
Year: 1982
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 54 minutes

Steve Freeling (Craig T Nelson) is a real estate agent living with his wife Diane (JoBeth Williams) and their kids, Dana (Dominique Dunne), Robbie (Oliver Robins), and Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke); they live in a home built by the real estate development company where Steve works. Out of nowhere one day, his family starts being haunted by a poltergeist. The haunting starts out harmless enough with some objects moving about on their own or lights flickering. That all changes one night when a massive storm hits and his youngest daughter Carol Anne is sucked into a vortex that presumably leads to the netherworld where the ghosts exist. After taking their daughter, the poltergeist becomes more aggressive, and the Freeling family enlists the help of Dr. Lesh (Beatrice Straight), and her team of paranormal investigators to try to figure out how to get their daughter back.

"Theeeey'rrrreee Heeeerrrreeee!!"

While most horror movies rely on blood and guts and gore, this movie deals out its horror through spooky noises, eerie imagery, and sensationalism...that, and a clown doll...a really, really creepy clown doll....Mood is extremely important in this movie, and watching it in the dark makes it a thousand times better. Heather O'Rourke's performance here is outstanding for such a young child, and it's a shame that she died so young.
(SEE, MORE KIDS BEING WEIRD AND CREEPY!) There is some comedy in this film, and some of the special effects are a bit dated, but it doesn't take away from the downright eeriness the movie as a whole. It's rated PG, but may be rated PG-13 by nowadays standards.

It's one of my favorite Halloween/horror movies. It's a haunted house movie, and yet it seems as if it's so much more. It will most certainly be lost on the youth of today because they might not even know what white noise is, or what the end of a broadcast day entails (IE: ME, I had no idea it existed), rendering parts of it ineffective, almost. It seems like there is so much need to make movies that are increasingly more gory and bloody and gross, and since this movie doesn't have very much of that, some may pass it by entirely.

We think it's a classic, and a good one to watch on Halloween day (also, safe for kids to watch, minus THAT DAMN CLOWN).

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 87%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "A Bay of Blood" (1971)

Image Source

Movie: "A Bay of Blood"
Director: Mario Bava
Year: 1971
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 24 minutes

A wealthy heiress who refuses to sell her land to real estate developers is murdered by her husband. This starts a chain of murders at the bay she owns.

Before even one word of dialogue is spoken, two people are murdered. Now THAT'S my kind of movie! It is kind of a slasher grindhouse style gorefest, one of those Italian horror movies that has been re-dubbed in English. Poorly. It's sort of a mystery, but not really a "whodunit," but a "who didn't do it" since this movie has a whooooole lot of guilty people in it. The plot is pretty thin, but it suits its purpose enough to drive itself from one murder to the next. It's a low budget, bares bones horror that's not too complicated but still entertaining.

My Rating: --
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 80%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Final Destination" (2000)

Image Source

Movie: "Final Destination"
Director: James Wong
Year: 2000
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 38 minutes

While sitting on a plane that will take him and his classmates to Paris for their French class trip, Alex (Devon Sawa) sees a terrifying vision of the plane exploding and everyone aboard perishing. He freaks out and causes a scene, so he and 6 other people get off the plane. As the rest of his classmates take off, the plane DOES explode, killing everyone aboard. After some time, each of the survivors begin dying one by one, as Death hunts them down and finds a slew of various ways to kill them.

This movie really does find very interesting and crazy ways to kill off its characters. All of the death scenes are elaborate, drawn-out, chain of event and step by step deaths. A simple crack in a mug drips water all over a computer and BOOM, 4 or 5 cause and effects later, DEADNESS. I found myself screaming at some death scene since I had never seen this movie, but sometimes the deaths were comical, too. The acting might be bad, but overall, it's a pretty decent horror flick. Seriously, we don't watch horror movies for their stellar acting, anyways. The special effects used seemed good for their time. The market for "crazy ways to die" seems endless, but a new "Final Destination" movie hasn't been made since 2011, so maybe they ran out of cool ideas.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 33%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Evil Dead 2" (1987)

Image Source

Movie: "Evil Dead 2"
Director: Sam Raimi
Year: 1987
Rating: X
Running Time: 1 hour, 24 minutes

Ash (Bruce Campbell) and his girlfriend Linda (Denise Bixler) want to spend a romantic weekend at a secluded, abandoned cabin in the woods. While there, they find a tape recording from the previous resident, which contains a reading from the necronomicon ex mortis (the book of the dead). This reading releases an evil from the forest which attempts to possess people and swallow their souls.

This is the quintessential cult classic starring the greatest B-movie actor that ever lived, Bruce Campbell.  It showcases both Campbell and director Sam Raimi at their finest. It's an over-the-top gorefest with geysers of blood that shoot from the walls. Sam Raimi was really trying to challenge himself with how much blood he could use in a movie. "Evil Dead 2" is full of hard-hitting eye-popping slapstick comedy. It's a true horror classic, and we'd even go as far as to call it a masterpiece! A must see!

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 98%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Return of the Living Dead" (1985)

Image Source

Movie: "Return of the Living Dead"
Director: Dan O'Bannon
Year: 1985
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 31 minutes

A young punker named Freddy (Thom Matthews) takes a job at a medical supply company. During his training his supervisor, Frank (James Karen) shows his some canisters that were delivered to their warehouse by mistake. These canisters contain bodies from a top secret military experiment to reanimate dead tissue. While messing around with the containers, they accidentally crack one open and release a toxic gas into the air, causing the dead come back to life to feed on the brains of the living.

This film is kind of a satire of the old "Night of  The Living Dead" type zombie movies, except they throw in a little twist: the zombies in this film aren't slow and stupid, they are fast, and smart, and worse yet, a head shot doesn't bring them down. These zombies are relatively indestructible, short of chopping them to bits and burning them to ash. There is a lot of comedy in this film, like zombies with stumps for legs trying to run down a potential victim, or Freddie and  Frank trying to deal with the naked cadaver that is suddenly running around their warehouse. This comedy is combined with some graphic brain falling from the skull gore. This film has become a cult classic over the years and one we like to watch when Halloween rolls around.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 90%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Burnt Offerings" (1976)

Image Source

Movie: "Burnt Offerings"
Director: Dan Curtis
Year: 1976
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

A family rents a plantation-style mansion for $900 for the entire summer with only one catch: they have to take care of the 85 year old owner's mother, who never leaves her room and is rarely ever seen. It seems too good to be true. Several weird occurrences take place, and the house beings to have an impact on each member of the family.

This movie was just okay. Burgess Meredith was poorly underused, and Better Davis seemed to be a shell of her former fabulous self. The scene in the pool between the father and the son was cool, and probably the best scene in the movie as a whole. The movie drudged along, developing slowly to a final climactic scene that was wholly underwhelming and very obvious.The concept of this movie could have been played out in a better fashion; to have everyone in the house age slowly over time could have been utilized differently and could have been done better. I think that this movie should be re-categorized solely as a mystery because there's very little horror and hardly any horrific scenes at all. Overall, it had potential, but was just rather boring.

My Rating: 5.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 38%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

Movie Review: "Pieces" (1982)

Image Source

Movie: "Pieces"
Director: Juan Piquer Simon
Year: 1982
Rating: UR
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

A young boy hacks up his mother after she tales away his dirty puzzles. 40 years later, he comes to a college campus and starts murdering random co-eds, taking a body part from each victim in order to make a real human puzzle.

This is a legit grindhouse, complete with the famous grindhouse introduction before the film. This is an exploitation full of nudity, over-the-top gore, girls getting chopped up by chainsaws, and an unknown "whodunit" killer. It's pretty short, but it's well paced with its murders. It's badly looped, but the dialogue is atrociously hilarious, and the gore is pretty cool. Everything in this movie, to be honest, is bad: bad camera work, bad sound, bad acting, bad lighting, and yet it's still fun to watch. Definitely a "must view" for grindhouse fans!

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 22%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "The Convent" (2000)

Image Source

Movie: "The Convent"
Director: Mike Mendez
Year: 2000
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 19 minutes

A group of frat boys, sorority girls, and a goth girl/ex-friend of one of the sorority sisters decide to check out their towns old burned down and abandoned convent. This convent was the site of a mass-murder of nuns and priests by one of the students who attended school there. Unbeknownst to the kids, because of the tragedy, the local satanists have made it their favorite place for them to preform their rituals. Goth girl Mo (Megahn Perry) is taken by the satanists and used in a sacrifice to try and summon the forces of darkness.

"The Convent" is a wonderfully stupid and silly B-movie. It's full of blood-splattering gore and silly comedy. Any movie with Coolio is going to be a good movie, wait, scratch that: any movie where Coolio plays a cop and maintains his Coolio hair is bound to be a good movie. The script is pretty bad, the dialogue is outrageous, and the acting is terrible and overdone, but that makes it hilarious and fun to watch. It definitely felt like a late 80's-early 90's type of movie, even though it was made in 2000.

It's a good film for fans of low budget horror comedies and/or B-movies in general.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 54%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "The Changeling" (1980)

Image Source

Movie: "The Changeling"
Director: Peter Medak
Year: 1980
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes

After his wife and daughter are killed in an automobile accident, composer John Russell (George C. Scott) gets a job lecturing at a university and moves into a home owned by the local historical preservation society. Almost immediately, strange things begin happening. It appears as if a ghost is trying to communicate with John, and he takes it upon himself to solve the mystery of what the ghost wants and what happened to it in its former life on earth.

The cast does a find job acting here, but as a whole, the movie is poorly paced and very slow moving. It takes a while for the movie to get moving and unveil if anything really happens. It's another supernatural ghost mystery of a haunted house that offers the typical haunted house fare of spooky noises, knobs being turned randomly, water being turn on, doors slamming, you know the drill. The ending is pretty good, but it takes so long to get there that you're not really interested by the time the film has ended.

Lots of people find this movie chilling and shocking, but we found it to be typical and a bit dull. There are a few creepy parts, but not enough to be considered a classic. Also, the scenery in this movie is gorgeous, and it is shot remarkably well. Overall, it's just okay, but maybe we will watch it again in the future to compare.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 79%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Halloween" (1978)

Image Source

Movie: "Halloween"
Director: John Carpenter
Year: 1978
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 31 minutes

A young boy named Michael Myers murders his sister on Halloween night. After doing so, he is locked up in a mental institution. 15 years later, he breaks free to return to his hometown of Haddonfield on Halloween to kill again.

This is probably the original great slasher film in cinema. There's something so ridiculously scary about a man in a mask standing in broad daylight staring at you through windows or lurking in the shadows...who thought William Shatner would be so scary?

The soundtrack is so unnerving and perfect that just hearing the theme song to "Halloween" can send chills up and down your spine. It's probably the most necessary component of this film aside from Michael Myers himself: it drives the movie to be the creepy, scary, tension-filled movie that it is. Jamie Lee Curtis is great as Laurie Strode, and this movie began her reign as the "Scream Queen," and boy, can she scream!

For "Halloween" having such a low budget, it sure remains one of the best Halloween horror movies of all times. It is a must watch movie and is classic for any October marathon.

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Evilspeak" (1981)

Image Source

Movie: "Evilspeak"
Director: Eric Weston
Year: 1981
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

A tormented military cadet named Stanley Coopersmith (Clint Howard) discovers a satanic book in a hidden part of the school's basement. He uses the book to summon the forces of darkness to help him take revenge on his tormentors.

How many movies does Clint Howard actually star in, anyway?

Again, we have another horror film where the person who uses their powers is a sympathetic character like Carrie. Clint Howard plays a dorky kid who is bullied over and over and is finally pushed too far. The real villains are the bullies. There are a lot of gory scenes of people getting decapitated, heads being turned around entirely, man-eating pigs, among other things. The movie doesn't convey much mood or tension but still manages to be sort of fun to watch. The whole thing culminates in a final scene, much like Carrie, that is so outrageous and over-the-top that it's probably worth sitting through the entire film to see.

We rest our case,

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 50%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "It" (1990)

Image Source

Movie: "It"
Director: Tommy Lee Wallace
Year: 1990
Rating: NR
Running Time: 3 hours, 10 minutes

A supernatural beast who manifests itself as the clown Pennywise (Tim Curry) begins terrorizing seven young kids and the town of Derry. "The Loser Club," a group of oddball kids, take it upon themselves to try and rid the town of It. They make a promise that if It ever returns to Derry, they will reunite to battle It again.

May it first be noted that Tim Curry is a god amongst men and is a flawless human being.

This is the scariest face in all of horror movies. Good god, this is frightening.

Second, may it be noted that Lolo hates clowns and that is why she has resisted this movie for so long.

This was a TV mini series, originally, so it was broken up into two parts; therefore, it's 3 hours and 10 minutes long. And it feels long, too. Not poorly paced, just long. Knowing it's made-for-TV, you're not going to see a lot of gruesome on-screen death at all. Most of the blood will come from balloons that pop and splatter it everywhere, or from sink drains, or on photos that are covered in it...all as tormenting jokes towards the kids from Pennywise.

As you can see in the picture above, Pennywise is terrifying. Why does it have to be a clown? Why does it have to have teeth, pointy teeth? The makeup? WHY??? Pennywise is so terrifying, in fact, that his final form becomes a huge let-down. Overall, this is a pretty enjoyable, quite scary horror flick!

My Rating: 6.5/10 as a whole, 10/10 for Pennywise as a horror character himself.
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 68%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?