Saturday, September 30, 2017

Monthly Movie Round-Up: September 2017

*Total In-Theater Movies Seen This Month12

*Total In-Theater Movies Seen This Year129

Movie Review: "Stronger" (2017)

Director: David Gordon Green
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

A man who loses his legs during the Boston Marathon bombing must put his life back together and find the strength to carry on with the help of his friends and family.

Often in tragedy, we look for people to act as symbols to inspire, uplift, and to spread a message of hope to all those who need it. Sometimes, we never stop to ask if that person wanted to be a symbol in the first place. "Stronger" tells the true story of Boston Marathon bombing survivor Jeff Bauman, played here by Jake Gyllenhaal. Bauman went to the 2013 marathon to support his on again/off again girlfriend Erin Hurley, played by Tatiana Maslany, who was running in the race. Jeff happened to be standing right next to one of the bombers, whom he would later help identify, and wound up getting his legs blown off in the blast. This film is about his recovery and his struggle to deal with becoming the symbol of 'Boston Strong.' "Stronger" is directed by David Gordon Green and is written by John Pollono based on Bauman's own biography of the same name.
During the chaos, Erin (Tatiana Maslany) stands speechless. (Image Source)
This is an emotionally powerful film. Jake Gyllenhaal puts on a fantastic performance in the leading role of Jeff Bauman. This is not a part that has lots of grandiose moments like many of the other roles he has played in past films like "Nightcrawler," "Brokeback Mountain," or "Prisoners." This is a far more understated, nuanced project for Gyllenhaal, but it is one of the first award-worthy performances we have seen this year from any actor. As Jeff, Gyllenhaal shows how difficult it is to recover from such a traumatic situation. This movie shows how becoming a symbol of hope and being paraded around in public often adds to Jeff's PTSD from the attack. It shows how a person reluctant to be deemed a hero has to cope with being thrust into the limelight. We also like the fact that Jeff is a flawed hero and often makes mistakes. He comes off as quite selfish sometimes and he fails to see what others have done for him during this life-altering situation.
As Jeff goes through grueling physical therapy, he may be able to walk again with prosthetics. (Image Source)
Speaking of what others have done for him, Tatiana Maslany is also brilliant in the role of Erin. She gives an award-worthy performance in her own right. Her role allows her to show it's not just the victim of the attack that is affected by it. Erin changes her whole life around Jeff in order to help him recover. The struggle gets harder and harder for her as other things to pile on top of her life, all while Jeff slips further and further into self-pity and self-medication (particularly with alcohol). Erin and Jeff have numerous emotionally intense exchanges and we constantly fought back tears throughout watching everything unfold. She is strong and vulnerable, loving and frustrated. Maslany and Gyllenhaal have tremendous chemistry with one another and make these parts come to life with their authenticity.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Tatiana Maslany give Oscar-worthy performances as Jeff and Erin. (Image Source)
"Stronger" does tug at your heartstrings, but the passionate, moving moments never feel phony or forced, and never, ever feel like they are being disingenuous. In another more ineffective piece of cinema, these moments would come off as cheesy or shoehorned in for added dramatics, but not here. The exchanges, the glances, the stories, they all feel completely natural and just wreck you emotionally, often bringing the viewer to a full-on sob, many of which we heard throughout our theater while watching.
Sometimes being a "hero" means more than you may know. (Image Source)
We also like how director David Gordon Green and writer John Pollono use this opportunity to bring to light the single most offensive thing that happens after these national tragedies: armchair conspiracy theorists who go around screaming about false flags every time an act of mass murder occurs. Jeff is approached by a couple of these despicable people in a bar, and we get to see how utterly offensive it is to tell someone to their face, someone who had his legs blown off, that the attack was staged for some form of political gain. It is beyond comprehension how people who spread bullshit like this sleep at night, claiming that parents who lost their children and other victims who lost body parts and loved ones are liars or paid actors. It's exceedingly difficult to imagine something more offensive than this.
A reluctant hero. (Image Source)
Sure, one could call "Stronger" formulaic. It's a typical underdog story sprung from an extreme circumstance. Some of Jeff's family members feel like overly exaggerated Boston caricatures. It has gut-punching moments of sadness followed by uplifting moments of triumph. But still, in the end, very few films this year have moved us as emotionally as "Stronger" has, and that takes precedence above all else when it comes to the art of filmmaking. It is raw and quietly powerful. We love what this movie has to say about the culture of heroism and the worshipping of symbols in times of tragedy in America. We enjoy the deviations from the typical "road to redemption" path Jeff Bauman must follow to get his life back on track. With two slam-dunk performances by Jake Gyllenhaal and Tatiana Maslany under its belt, any problems we may have had with it being formulaic simply melted away along with our tears.


My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 96%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Friday, September 29, 2017

Movie Review: "Killer Pinata" (2015)

Director: Stephen Tramontana
Year: 2015
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 27 minutes

A possessed piñata goes on a murdering spree to avenge the destruction of his fellow piñatas.

"Killer Piñata" is a micro-budget horror film directed by Stephen Tramontana. He also helped write the film along with Megan Macmanus and Nick Weeks. It stars Sheila Edmiston as Gwen Goodman, Lindsay Ashcroft as Rosetta Stone, Nate Bryan as Chad, and Billy Chengary as Scott. These four people make up a group of college-age students getting together at Gwen's parent's house. The guys hope a little sex and debauchery will follow. What they don't expect is that one of the leftover piñatas from Gwen's little brother's birthday party is awakened as a possessed killer piñata ready to take revenge against the humans who have been murdering its fellow piñatas. Oh yeah, you read that right!

If you see a movie called "Killer Piñata," you kind of know what you are getting yourself into when you sit down to watch it. There aren't any big-budget special effects to create a special demon creature. The antagonist is a literal piñata, one you can buy at any Party City, that is puppeteered by someone off-screen. Much of the time, only half of the piñata is in the frame, but that's honestly part of the charm of this flick. Those behind the scenes are very aware of how silly the concept is and they make reference to the fact throughout its runtime. The shopkeeper who is trying to stop the piñata has a hook for a hand for some reason and is often wearing a trench coat and a fabulous hat. Like we said, quirky. When the killer piñata sees its fellow piñatas being destroyed for fun by the evil humans, it's played like it's watching a friend being slowly beaten to death with a bat. The dialogue is extremely cheesy and filled with corny jokes. The piñata poops toxic candy and has the ability to control the bodies of its victims to some extent. Sure, it's all sort of dumb, but it is all sort of amazing as well.

If you need high production values and seasoned actors, you aren't going to find those things here and you should probably avoid "Killer Piñata." But, if you are like us and can appreciate a micro-budget film for what it is and have fun with a silly concept in spite of all its cheesiness, a movie so silly that it's inexplicably good, then you should definitely give this movie a chance to impress you. We watched it with friends and had an incredible time.


My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ~5.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Movie Review: "Brad's Status" (2017)

Image Source
Director: Mike White
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 41 minutes

An upper-middle-class man reflects on his dissatisfaction of where his life ended up, all while his son tours Harvard and other elite universities for his college prospects.

We're getting a little tired of movies that show semi or very well-off middle-aged male characters in good marriages, with huge houses in the suburbs, smart kids about to get into Ivy League universities, and stable jobs complaining about how unsatisfying their lives are and how they are failures at it and everything in it. "Brad's Status" is written and directed by Mike White, who best known for writing "Chuck & Buck," "School of Rock," and "Beatriz at Dinner." Oh yeah, he was also one of the writers of "The Emoji Movie." It stars Ben Stiller as the titular Brad, who runs his own non-profit organization, but is unhappy because his fellow classmates went on to become millionaires. He constantly looks at life like it's competition that he is losing. He and his son Troy, played by Austin Abrams, who excelled in academics at his private high school and is a very talented musician, are about to go on a tour of colleges in Massachusetts, primarily Harvard. Brad can hardly stop complaining long enough to appreciate the whole experience since he is having a bit of a mid-life crisis. Luckily, some college kids are around to give him some insightful perspective on life.

This is a film that wants to have its cake and eat it too. It wants the white privilege moments where a financially stable adult complains about flying coach because he used Groupon to buy his plane tickets that were ineligible for an upgrade all while his son goes to a college prep. private school. It also wants to lament about the fact we as humans complain about that stuff. "Brad's Status" wants to sell itself as a film that it is a self-aware "white people problems" movie, which is exactly the problem itself. It wants to capture the true middle-class experience, but the problem is, it doesn't feel like anyone involved in this project has ever actually experienced what it's like to live in this demographic. It's as if they're writing, acting, and playing it as outsiders and are still trying to understand it.

Most of this existential crisis is told through voiceover as Brad debates himself, his life, his relationships, and the 'what could have beens' of yesteryear. Sure, he eventually gets called out on his bullshit by an idealistic kid half his age, but by then, we were already sick and tired of listening to his incessant whining. Plus, what does a 21-year-old know about the world? That's also insulting to someone who is almost in their 50's. Some critics have said the lazy approach to this film is to call it out for being about "first world problems," but is it? That's exactly what this movie strives to be. It's exactly why people think Hollywood is so out of touch. Others have said this is emotionally honest, but it's about as honest as a politician. That being said, the acting is fine from everyone involved. Ben Stiller needs to do more dramas because he can really open up his potential in this genre, but this particular story is not the right kind of vessel for him. "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," though panned by critics and audiences alike, is much, much better and we think it's criminally underappreciated. Another note is we weren't particularly fans of the handheld camerawork throughout the movie and it only suited the story a handful of times.

When it's all said and done, we hated the experience of sitting through a pretentious and ultimately pointless film like "Brad's Status." Maybe a 47-year-old man going through the same things, lamenting his problems and the might have beens of his existence may identify with this, but wouldn't you know it, half of our team just so happens to be in the same demographic as Brad, and we must say, it certainly didn't ring remotely truthful to BigJ.


My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 81%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Movie Review: "The LEGO Ninjago Movie" (2017)

Director: Charlie Bean, Paul Fisher, & Bob Logan
Year: 2017
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 41 minutes

Lloyd Garmadon is an outcast in his day to day life because he is the son of the evil warlord Garmadon, who tries to conquer the city of Ninjago on an almost daily basis. Lloyd is also a member of a secret Ninja squad tasked with battling Garmadon and regularly driving him from the city. Though these Ninjas regularly rid Ninjago of Garmadon, they must go on a quest to discover their inner powers, and Lloyd must work through his daddy issues in order to truly defeat him for good.

"The LEGO Ninjago Movie" is the third theatrically released feature-length LEGO commercial...oops, scratch that, we mean movie released by Warner Bros. It stars Dave Franco, Jackie Chan, Justin Theroux, Fred Armisen, Kumail Nanjiani, Zach Woods, Abbi Jacobson, and Michael Peña. The film has three directors and nine writers who either worked on the story, the screenplay, or both. With the wealth of talent in the cast and an army of writers and directors behind the scenes, we have to wonder, why does this flick wind up being so average?
If only you had been more like "The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" movie... (Image Source)
We loved "The LEGO Movie" and really enjoyed "The LEGO Batman Movie." Even though these films are essentially 100ish minute long advertisements for LEGO toys, we've never explicitly felt that way until watching "The LEGO Ninjago Movie." This is the most generic of the three titles and has the least amount of characters building things from LEGOs. This is essentially a basic action adventure comedy. Its plot is surprisingly similar to the 1995 film "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie," but with added daddy issues. When an evil villain takes over their town, a group of color-themed ninjas uses mechazords to try and defeat the said villain. When their zords get destroyed, they must go on a journey to unlock their ninja powers, which really already existed within themselves. Honest to god, this plot description applies for both films.
It's literally the same movie... (Image Source)
It sounds like we are being mean to "The LEGO Ninjago Movie," unless you think "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie" is a masterpiece, then we are being very nice to it. The truth is, there are many aspects of this movie we liked. We did manage to laugh quite a bit throughout the film, but nowhere near as much as we did during the first two movies. The humor here is a lot different from what we've seen from this universe in the past. It is far more dialogue-driven and about witty quips were in the past, there has been a heavy reliance on pop culture references and cultural earmarkers to drive the humor, dialogue, and plot. We see a lot less of that here. There is still a good amount of random goofiness similar to what one may find on YouTube or any other viral meme-driven sites. We do really like the voice cast, especially Justin Theroux, who actually offered up the most laughs for us. His character Garmadon is so oblivious to how bad of a father he is and how truly hated he is that it makes us chuckle. Zach Woods and Kumail Nanjiani are also great as Zane, the ice character, and Jay, the thunder character. The city-destroying cat Meowthra is also a pretty good gag. Unfortunately, these laugh out loud moments are few and far between, and when all is said and done, this is a near carbon copy of thousands of other kids movies, just with characters who happen to be LEGOs.

In the end, though "The LEGO Ninjago Movie" is definitely a step down from the two previous installments, it still made us laugh and smile enough so we didn't hate ourselves for watching it like we have during some other kids movies.


My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 49%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Movie Review: "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" (2005)

Director: Doug Liman
Year: 2005
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 0 minutes

A couple who has been married for six years is shocked when they discover they are both professional assassins gunning for the same target. Upon making this discovery, the two are forced to turn their guns on each other.

We can just imagine the pitch meeting for this film. Writer Simon Kinberg pitching his script, which is a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's screwball comedy "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," but he wants to make it an action film and for the Smiths to be secret professional assassins. You take "The Bourne Identity" director Doug Liman and two of Hollywood's hottest commodities, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, to star in the film, slap on an audience-friendly PG-13 rating, and you have a recipe for a box office success. And it certainly was, to the tune of $478 million dollars. Pitt and Jolie play John and Jane Smith, who have been married for about six years. She thinks he works in construction and he thinks she works for a tech company. In reality, they are both professional assassins. When they each get assigned to the same mark, they discover each other's secret. Already having trouble in their marriage, the two begin to believe their whole relationship has been a sham, that the other was always on the job playing the really, really long game. So, they decide to settle their problems with bullets.

"Mr. & Mrs. Smith" is a run of the mill mid-2000's summer action comedy. It is thin on plot and has an underdeveloped story and characters, but also has lots and lots of action, tons of guns and shooting, and the super sexy sexiness of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It relies heavily on the acting ability, charm, and chemistry of Pitt and Jolie, who would go on to become a powerhouse Hollywood "it" couple. Luckily, they have great on-screen chemistry and make their characters tolerable and at least semi-interesting. Without them, this film would be even more forgettable and would possibly be lost along with all the others like it from this cinema era, including "The Rundown," "S.W.A.T.," and "Charlie's Angels 2." The action can be somewhat fun as Mr. and Mrs. Smith try to constantly one-up each, but unfortunately, the movie never really gripped us as a whole. It's all fairly predictable and is not really that special. It starts with them trying to kill each other and builds to them teaming up to take on a slew of faceless commandos who seem to multiply like Gremlins in water. Seriously, at one point, there is an endless supply of assassins in black S.W.A.T. style outfits. Once all is said and done, however, the final resolution isn't very satisfying. It's like Liman and Kinberg didn't know how to end it since there isn't a real villain or any high-stakes conflict once the third act begins.

In the end, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" is fine for what it is. There are a few laughs and some good action, but it's not all that gripping, tense, or interesting. We were never truly invested in anything beyond surface level caring.
My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 59%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Movie Review: "Friend Request" (2017)

Director: Simon Verhoeven
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

A popular college student named Laura befriends an introverted loner named Marina on social media. When Marina's actions start to border on obsessive stalker levels, Laura unfriends her, which causes Marina to kill herself. From that point on, Laura's social media is overtaken and her friends start getting killed off one by one. Now, she must find a way to stop the madness.

Oh look, a horror movie that talks about the dangers of being addicted to social media. Or maybe it's a warning to those who try to be kind to creepy loner goth looking kids. Everyone knows goth looking loners are meant to be shunned and ostracized by society because they are really practitioners of witchcraft who will try to murder you with their hieroglyphic code language if you ever dare unfriend them on Facebook!!!!~`11

"Friend Request" is directed by Simon Verhoeven. This is his first foray into the horror genre and he brings every cliche and genre trope with him. The film stars Alycia Debnam-Carey, who plays Laura, a University psych major who takes pity on the weird hoodie-wearing outcast in her psychology class named Marina, played by Liesl Ahlers. Laura accepts Marina's friend request on Facebook-but-never-once-called-Facebook (they couldn't use Facebook's actual name because they didn't want it to be attached to this shitty movie) because she pities Marina for having no friends. After a quick in-person talk, Marina becomes a bit too stalkerish for Laura's liking and she unfriends Marina just as fast as she friended her. This sends Marina off the deep end and she films herself committing suicide. From that point on, Laura's life becomes a social media hell as disturbing videos start popping up all over her timeline, ones she didn't post in the first place and that she can't take down. She can't even delete her account... oh, the horror!!

Lately, filmmakers have been trying to find a way to integrate our modern technological age into the horror genre. We've seen this with movies like the surprisingly good "Unfriended," the good until it wasn't "The Den," and more recently, the shit-tacular "Rings." We thought "Rings" was about as bad as it could get in the genre, but "Friend Request" (not to be confused with the aforementioned "Unfriended"), certainly gives it the ol' college try.

First off, the acting in this movie is really bad. We never expect award-worthy performances from movies like this, but much of what we get here is barely even competent. Next, it is overloaded with cheap tropes. When we say overloaded, we mean it: it's full of jump scares, stupid cops and authority figures, the least understanding set of friends possible, etc. It seems like it borrows bits and pieces from other horror films, including creepy videos and themes of witchcraft, and the filmmaker and writer think they are doing something clever and original by tacking it onto a plot involving social media. Let us tell you, it offers nothing new and contributes nothing original. It's like the writers were sitting at home watching the television series "Black Mirror" and then suddenly realized that, when turned off, their smartphones and laptops kind of look like black mirrors, so they wrote a whole movie based on that concept. ~*OoOoOoOoOoOoOo so revolutionary.~* The story is completely and utterly stupid, bloated with cliche plot points and contrived moments. This movie is so ridiculous we found ourselves rolling our eyes to the point that we started to get dizzy. The only redeemable quality it has is its R-rating, which shows its potential every so often and allows for a little bit of gore, decent makeup work, and a couple of disturbing. These two or three moments, however, are not enough to make up for the seemingly endless pile of dung "Friend Request" throws at the audience for 92 minutes. This movie is not worth your time and it's definitely not worth your money.
My Rating: 2/10
BigJ's Rating: 2/10
IMDB's Rating: ~5.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~12%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" (2017)

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 21 minutes

After a tragic set of attacks wipe out most of their agents, the remaining Kingsmen seek help from their American counterpart, the Statesman, in order to combat a criminal enterprise known as The Golden Circle.

The Kingsmen are back and they are bigger, louder, flashier, and more American than ever, but are these good things? "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" is directed by Matthew Vaughn and is, of course, a sequel to his hit 2015 film "Kingsman: The Secret Service." Returning for this installment are Taron Egerton as Eggsy and Mark Strong as Merlin. There are a few surprising returns as well, including Edward Holcroft as Charlie, former Kingman recruit turned villainous henchman. Charlie was thought to be dead with his head exploded off-screen in the original movie. Also returning to the series is Colin Firth as Harry, Eggsy's mentor and highly skilled Kingsman who was shot in the head by Valentine, which very, very much took place on screen in the previous installment (this is not a spoiler, he is in all of the marketing and promotional materials for the film). So how did these two "thought to be dead" characters make a comeback? Well, it's a bit of a stretch for both of these individuals, but we guess a slight bit of bullshitting works if you're willing to suspend your disbelief enough (a heavy suspension of disbelief, no doubt). The Kingsmen now face a new threat from the world's largest drug cartel called The Golden Circle, which is run by a 1950's nostalgia-obsessed woman named Poppy, played by Julianne Moore, who may put on a sweet demeanor but is actually a deranged psychopath who owns gigantic robot dogs. After a series of explosions targeting the Kingsmen's agencies and safe houses, the remaining agents seek assistance from their American counterpart called The Statesman, who operate out of Kentucky under the guise of a bourbon distillery. Differences aside, the two organizations must team up to defeat Poppy and her Golden Circle.

We absolutely love "Kingsman: The Secret Service." When it came out, it was very fresh, fun, and sleek, an extremely fun ride. It had great characters and an engaging story that kept us drawn in from start to finish. Knowing the track record for sequels in Hollywood, we didn't expect "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" to be quite as good, but we still had some hope. Unfortunately, "The Golden Circle" definitely doesn't reach the heights of the first film. That being said, it still is an entertaining, enjoyable movie if you know what to expect. The same type of humor found in the first installment returns in spades in the sequel, and we laughed quite a bit throughout the film, whether it be at the blatantly bizarre song selections playing during slow-motion action scenes or whenever Elton John was on screen. We still really like Taron Egerton as Eggsy, who is quite charming as a now full-fledged Kingsman agent. Mark Strong gets to fill a larger role here and we enjoyed his presence on screen. Merlin is quick with an intelligent quip, and Strong plays the part well. Colin Firth is as awesome as always, and Pedro Pascal is a fantastic new edition to this installment as agent Whiskey. Pascal is the definition of swagger, and he and his lasso kick some major ass, partner. Another new addition we can't forget to mention is Julianne Moore, who is suitable for selling a Stepford Wife-looking exterior with a cold-blooded killer inside. Her maniacal giggle gives way to some terrifyingly gross moments involving heavy duty kitchen equipment.

One of the downfalls in "The Golden Circle" is the unevenness to almost everything. While it is louder, flashier, and more bombastic than the first, it is excessively so. If you liked the original film, this sequel doubles down on everything good about it, and a little to its detriment. Vaughn has actors like Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, and Jeff Bridges at his disposal, but they are completely under-utilized. The action is still ultra-stylized and as over the top as ever, but some of the CGI seems much more noticeable and a little worse this go around. It still makes tongue-in-cheek jokes about James Bond film tropes, perhaps even more so than before. The story here just isn't as intense or as engaging. The movie is a tad too long, but we thought it moved pretty well despite its runtime and we never felt bored while watching it. Realistically though, with explosions, 8000 new characters to introduce, blue rashes, and chase scenes all over the damn place, can someone ever really be bored with so much chaos being thrown at the screen? Finally, our biggest gripe is Charlie Henchman, aka disposable bad guy #2981301 with a robotic arm. He is nowhere near as cool, as menacing, or as useful of a henchman as Gazelle with her sword feet, and Vaughn and co. could have made this character literally any other person and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.

While some aspects of "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" feel a bit redundant, unnecessarily messy, and over the top, it's still an entertaining flick if you like noisy, raucous, insane action flicks like the first installment.
My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 85%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Movie Review: "Flatliners" (1990)

Director: Joel Schumacher
Year: 1990
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 55 minutes

A group of medical students studies the afterlife by killing themselves and then resuscitating each other a few minutes after they flat-line. Once back from their near-death experiences, they learn demons from their past have returned with them.

"Flatliners" asks the ultimate unanswerable question, the one that has plagued mankind since we first became self-aware: is there anything else after death? People try to answer this question with logic, using philosophy, and with faith and religion, but it has yet to be answered. Nelson, played by Kiefer Sutherland, and four of his fellow med students, played by Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon, William Baldwin, and Oliver Platt, plan to use science to give a definitive answer to the age-old question in the most obvious way possible, by dying, of course!! Clearly, they can't stay dead because if they did, how would they report their findings? Writer Peter Filardi has come up with an interesting concept. How realized that concept becomes when translated to the screen and whether or not director Joel Schumacher can execute those ideas is a different question. Much like our five med students, not everything goes quite as planned.

Filardi and Schumacher take that aforementioned ultimate question and, much like everyone else, offer a simple solution to a complex enigma, leaving absolutely no ambiguity. Is there an afterlife? According to "Flatliners," the answer is yes. In that afterlife, one must face judgment and atone for the sins of their past. Well gee, we've never seen that before! This seems to be something most of the participants of this experiment did not expect, especially Nelson who, as it turns out, was quite a little shit when he was younger, which will make his atonement that much more difficult.

This film is a sci-fi drama with a touch of supernatural horror. Though medical science is at the forefront of the plot, the scientific aspect is more of a thin veneer hiding its more religious and philosophical themes. Unfortunately, this flick handles those themes in a most clumsy way. The overall moral is the most basic one in any religion, that a person must repent and atone for their sins upon death. Not the most original thing ever. One thing "Flatliners" does have going for it is a stellar cast. Most of the players were young up and coming actors at the time but their abilities were certainly present even in an adequate project way back when. None of the performances are award-worthy, but they are solid. The one gripe we do have is it doesn't necessarily feel like Julia Roberts and Kevin Bacon could be, would be, or are lovers. Their chemistry is not that great when they are together. Apart from the acting, there are a few scenes that offer a bit of an ominous tone and manage to create some unease, but we wouldn't say it's overly tension-filled. The afterlife sequences offer a surreal feeling which we like, but Schumacher and Filardi don't offer anything truly outside the box in terms of deep answers to important questions.

In the end, "Flatliners" is a satisfactory movie, though definitely not one we would consider a must-see or a classic. The cast plays their parts well enough so you won't be bored, just know that this could have been a lot more profound.


My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 49%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Friday, September 22, 2017

Movie Review: "Naked" (2017)

Director: Michael Tiddes
Year: 2017
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 33 minutes

On his wedding day, a man wakes up naked in an elevator and must proceed to live the following hour over and over again until he gets it right.

Iiiiiiiiit's "Groundhog Day"!......or "Groundhog Hour"?

"Naked" is the latest film from director Michael Tiddes, who is known for making movies like "A Haunted House," "A Haunted House 2," and "Fifty Shades of Black." As you can see, Tiddes like Marlon Wayans, or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, they work together frequently. Wayans plays Rob Anderson, a substitute teacher who is about to marry a doctor named Megan, played by Regina Hall. On the morning of their wedding, Rob wakes up naked in an elevator unsure of how he got there. After an hour, he wakes up in the elevator again, forced to relive the same hour of his life over and over until he gets his wedding day perfect. Wow, what a totally original concept.

On the surface, "Naked" may seem like it's a "The Hangover" meets "Groundhog Day" rip-off, but it is actually a remake of a Swedish film called "Naken," which came out before "The Hangover" but after "Groundhog Day." Unfortunately, like many of Marlon Wayans' more recent projects, this winds up being almost completely unfunny. For the most part, this is a one-joke flick that is played over and over for laughs, much like Rob's wedding day. A man wakes up naked, must find clothes, and has to get to his wedding, but must go through a bunch of zany circumstances over and over until he reaches the altar and settles things in the proper manner. The concept wears thin really quickly. By the second run through of Rob's hour, we found ourselves incredibly bored with the characters, the formula, and the film in general. The repetitive nature of the story makes the pacing drag and drag and drag and drag and drag. This is a short movie but manages it feels unbearably long when couples with annoying side characters and subpar acting. The humor is not clever and not witty, usually resorting to the lowest hanging fruit possible like jokes about how a woman's vagina smells. "Naked" may hope to redeem itself with a sappy feel-good ending, but by the time it finally arrives, we were already done caring and halfway asleep. Regina Hall deserves better than this try-hard mess.
My Rating: 1.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 1.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 0%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Movie Review: "The Prestige" (2006)

Director: Christopher Nolan
Year: 2006
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 10 minutes

A pair of rival magicians with a tragic past engage in a dangerous game of one-upmanship doing what they can to destroy the other's career. 

Are you watching closely??

"The Prestige" is directed by Christopher Nolan, who also wrote the screenplay along with his brother Jonathan. It is based on the novel of the same name by Christopher Priest. It stars Christian Bale as Alfred Borden and Hugh Jackman as Robert Angier, two magicians who have a past with one another. The years have turned them into bitter rivals, and they are willing to go to whatever lengths possible to outdo one another. They are willing to sacrifice anything, including their relationships, their money, and their lives, in order to get the upper hand. Joining the two male leads are Rebecca Hall as Alfred's wife Sarah, Scarlett Johansson as Alfred's assistant Olivia Wenscombe, and Michael Caine as Cutter, the mastermind behind Angier's magic tricks.

This film offers a unique take on the murder mystery genre by combining a period drama about a professional rivalry with a crime mystery. There's also a little bit of sci-fi thrown in for good measure. The story here is extremely compelling, every twist and turn remarkably shot, written, and acted. We remain completely engaged by it as we try to figure out exactly what happened, who was responsible for certain events, and who truly had the upper hand at each and every moment. It's one of those films where you find yourself hoping you forget the ending and how it all unfolds so you can experience it, again and again, each time you watch it as if it were the first time.

The narrative is delivered in a non-linear fashion, a trick Christopher Nolan has used in several of his films, to aid in the mystery. The art direction is fantastic and the costumes are utterly gorgeous as they capture early 20th century England and help the feel of the picture as a whole. Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman are fabulous in this film. The characters they play are, in many ways, polar opposites, yet they both share an obsession with each other. Bale's Borden is the skilled and more talented magician with an unwavering dedication that has arisen from humble beginnings. Jackman's Angier, on the other hand, isn't the best magician technically speaking, but he is a brilliant showman who was raised wealthy with the English title of Lord, a fact he tends to hide. Angier is only interested in the fame that comes with being a performer, and his sole purpose is ruining Borden. We see their obsession and just how deep their destructive madness goes, expertly penned by the Nolan brothers.

When we watched "The Prestige" for the first time, we were floored by the ending. Now, with each additional watch, we see the clues and how the surprise ending was foreshadowed all along. The answer hangs in the face of the audience the entire time and we just didn't see it, which is certainly part of the magic of this film. From excellent set pieces and costumes to tremendous acting from Jackman, Bale, Johansson, Caine, and Hall, and expert cinematography and direction, don't miss this wonderful movie.


My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 76%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Movie Review: "Stardust" (2007)

Image Source
Movie"Stardust"
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Year: 2007
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 7 minutes

A young man lives in Wall, a small, quaint English village on the border of the mystical land of Stormhold. The two towns are separated by a small stone wall, and this man has promised his love he will cross the threshold into Stormhold to retrieve a fallen star to prove his devotion to her. Once he finds the star, it isn't at all what he expected. 

When people speak of classic fantasy adventure films, the list usually includes pictures like "The Lord of the Rings," "The Princess Bride," and the "Harry Potter" series. Unfortunately, "Stardust," doesn't come up too often, which is a travesty because it should. Director Matthew Vaughn, who would become well known for directing comic book adaptations like "Kick-Ass," "X-Men: First Class," and "Kingsman: The Secret Service," managed to create something fun and imaginative with his adaptation of Neil Gaiman's novel.

The film stars Charlie Cox, who would go on to play Marvel's Daredevil, as well as Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Mark Strong, who make up the key players in this story. Also in the film in smaller capacities are Robert De Niro, Sienna Miller, Henry Cavill, Ricky Gervais, and Peter O'Toole. With such a stellar cast, it is supremely sad this movie was a box office failure in the United States (and also, this is why we can't have nice things). As we know, box office receipts are not necessarily indicative of quality, and all too often, exceptional movies go underappreciated until years after their release. Such is the case with "Stardust."

This is a classic fantasy romance sword and sorcerer adventure. The story revolves around a young man named Tristan, played by Cox, who is a meager shopboy living in the small village of Wall, England. It is called Wall because, at the edge of town, there is a small stone wall which separates their normal, boring world from the mystical land of Stormhold, where magic still abounds and sky pirates capture lightning from the clouds. When Tristan sees a star fall from the sky, it lands in Stormhold. He promises to cross the barrier between the two lands to retrieve the star for the woman he believes is the love of his life, Victoria, played by Sienna Miller. Upon finding the star, Tristan is shocked to find it is not a lump of celestial rock, but actually, a very beautiful woman named Yvaine, played by Claire Danes. It turns out, many people are looking for the same star for a variety of different reasons. Getting Yvaine back to his love will not be as easy as Tristan thought.

We absolutely love this film. "Stardust" is bright, colorful, exciting, funny, heartfelt film, and an absolute blast to watch. This was only Matthew Vaughn's second directorial effort, and even here you can see what talent he has for stylized action and stunning visuals. Though relatively unknown at the time, Charlie Cox does a great job as Tristan, who spends the entire movie with one goal in mind, only to have his heart and soul switch gears halfway through its runtime. Claire Danes is fantastic as the innocent, ethereal star Yvaine. She has a lot to learn about people and humanity and emotions but is pure of heart and wiser than she seems. Michelle Pfeiffer is a scene-stealer as antagonist Lamia, a witch who wants to eat the heart of the fallen star to regain her youth. She combines a sinister nature with a bit of charm as well as some good comedic timing. The old age makeup work on her is absolutely incredible. Though a much smaller part, Robert De Niro is fabulous as Captain Shakespeare. Some may consider his performance to be a bit of a stereotype or caricature, but he plays the part well.

"Stardust" is one of those movies we watch every now and then and it always puts a smile on our faces from beginning to end. Sure, it can be a bit silly and over the top at times, but we think it is an under-seen, criminally overlooked gem that fantasy fans should absolutely seek out if they haven't already done so. This is everything we hope a fantasy adventure film would be and it continues to be one of our favorites even today.

Take a listen to our podcast, which we record live every Wednesday at 6pm PT and every Saturday at 1pm PT!


My Rating: 8.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 8.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~76%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Movie Review: "mother!" (2017)

Image Source
Movie"mother!"
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 1 minute

A writer and his wife have their normally calm lives thrown into chaos by uninvited guests who turn out to be fans of his work.

After watching "mother!" many viewers may walk out of the theater wondering what the hell they just watched. If you are at all familiar with the work of director Darren Aronofsky, including "Black Swan" and "The Fountain," you will know he is no stranger to using visual metaphors to tell his stories, which are anything but surface-level projects. His films are often ambiguous and his messages usually require a bit of thought on the part of the audience to decipher and unpack his true intent. Throughout each of his movies, Aronofsky will often leave a trail of breadcrumbs and a few hints and clues to guide people in the right direction. He isn't one to hold your hand or offer heavy exposition, as is the case with "mother!" The film stars Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem as a married couple living in a very secluded, sprawling home. He is a poet and she mainly works on renovating their home, which was damaged by a fire in the past. One day an unexpected guest, played by Ed Harris, turns up on their doorstep. Apparently, he thought their house was a bed and breakfast, or so he claims. It turns out this stranger is actually a fan of Bardem's character's poetry. The poet enjoys the constant attention, adoration, and praise from this fan, but his wife isn't comfortable with having a stranger in their home, especially when he doesn't listen to their rules. Matters only get worse when this stranger's wife shows up unannounced, interjecting herself into the lives and problems of this couple, who are used to peace, quiet, and isolation. As more of the poet's fans show up day after day, things get more and more out of hand...and that's about as much of the plot we are willing to give away.

"mother!" is an exceedingly hard film to nail down. It is difficult to review because, as we have often said on our site, we don't like to spoil movie plot points if we can help it. There is so much we want to say, but even the slightest detail would venture into spoiler territory, and trust us when we say this is a movie that begs the audience to go into it knowing nothing. We would love to give you our take on what Aronofsky was trying to say in this film, but that would imply we absolutely know which direction he was headed when we really don't. Aronofsky has so many things to say about life, culture, religion, politics, nature, fame, society, and humanity all wrapped up in this two-hour sensory and visual spectacle. We remained completely enthralled, paranoid, worried, scared, creeped out, unsettled, and in awe of Aronofsky's work from start to finish. Even if we were confused with what was going on, we remained on the edge of our seats waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Director of photography Matthew Libatique has once again done an exquisite job, offering a striking visual display as he always does when he teams up with Aronofsky. The visuals combined with the stellar sound design, incredible practical effects, and expert performances make for an extremely well-made film. Jennifer Lawrence gives what may be the best performance of her young career. We have grown accustomed to her phoning her roles in over the last few years between her work on the "X-Men" series and "The Hunger Games" two-part finale. We have always enjoyed Lawrence as an actress and it is refreshing to see her so invested in this role. She gives an Oscar-worthy performance, though we aren't sure if the subject matter will click for all Oscar voters and may hurt her chances by proxy. Javier Bardem is fantastic as well, often showing perceived indifference to his wife's concerns about his fans. Michelle Pfeiffer is incredible and Ed Harris is equally impressive in their much smaller parts.

We absolutely loved "mother!" This is a movie that won't connect with everyone because it does not have a straightforward narrative. It was rather mismarketed in its promotional materials. Aronofsky thrives in disturbing and unsettling his viewers regardless of who he offends. When we say disturbing, we truly mean it. There are some extremely hard to witness moments that will turn some viewers off immediately, and though the last act is exceedingly difficult to watch, Aronofsky has made it clear now and always that he is willing to go places most filmmakers are not willing to go and show things most movies would never dare attempt. The amount of admiration we have for this man is boundless as he continues to shake up Hollywood movie by movie. He is willing to take risks and be the one different voice in a crowd of carbon copy filmmakers. People constantly complain about the lack of originality in cinema, but when someone makes a unique, different, divisive piece of art like this, it is shunned, slammed, revolted, and given an F on CinemaScore. It's not because the populous is stupid (as other critics and movie lovers have stated), it's because people don't really want anything too drastically different, which makes us supremely distressed and saddened. It's the same reason why people eat at places like Denny's and Applebee's because they want something safe and consistent rather trying something new and interesting with the risk of not liking it.

For us, the intrigue never lets up, and by movies end, hearts pounding, tears flowing, and eyes wide opened, we left the theater, discussed the film for hours, and have not stopped thinking about it since. Whether you love or you hate "mother!," chances are, this film will make lists and be on the tongues and minds of many in the years and decades to come. BRAVO, SIR.

If you want to hear our spoiler talk and review of "mother!," take a listen to our podcast, which we record live every Wednesday at 6pm PT and every Saturday at 1pm PT!


My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: ~6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~68%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Monday, September 18, 2017

Movie Review: "Red Christmas" (2017)

Director: Craig Anderson
Year: 2017
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

A mother is forced to fight for the lives of her family during their Christmas get together when a cloaked stranger shows up claiming to be someone from her past. After being shooed away, this person comes back and goes on a murdering rampage.

Nothing says Christmas like an abortion debate. This sensitive subject is the foundation of the film "Red Christmas." It starts out with protests surrounding an abortion clinic followed by a terrorist attack on the building by radical pro-lifers... which is a little ironic if you ask us, someone claiming to be pro-life while murdering people. But hey, that's just us. Not exactly a standard schmaltzy Christmas plot, right?
Not exactly what you'd expect from a Christmas movie. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)
This Australian holiday horror flick is written and directed by Craig Anderson, who uses this rather taboo political subject to create a horror-themed abortion debate set around yuletide cheer. The film stars Dee Wallace, who is best known for her role in "E.T.," but has also starred in numerous horror classics like "Cujo" and "The Howling." Here, she plays Diane, the matriarch of a somewhat dysfunctional family having their last Christmas get together in their family home. It is a typical family gathering complete with domestic dramas, squabbling siblings, and conflicting ideas. All of this stops, however, when a cloaked stranger named Cletus shows up at their front doorstep. He claims to be someone from Diane's past. Being polite, she invites him in, until his true intentions are revealed. When she casts him out of their home, Cletus goes on a murdering rampage, picking off the family members one by one.
When a stranger calls. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)
"Red Christmas" is a fairly conventional slasher style horror film despite its premise. There's a bit of a twist as it is centered around the abortion debate in what some may consider the crudest way possible. Anderson doesn't go deep into a lot of detail past the first few minutes, which simply set up the rest of the story in this holiday horror. There is a little tension at times, but this isn't the type of movie steeped in "edge of your seat" thrills and heart-pounding terror. It doesn't rely on unnecessary jump scares, which we always welcome. This is more of a gore-driven flick that has a couple of creative death scenes featuring odd objects like bear traps and blenders (hey, Bear Traps and Blenders would be a good band name!), as well as a couple of tried and true kills featuring an ax to the head. The practical effects are excellently made and are very, very bloody.
Dee Wallace as matriarch Diane, locked and loaded.. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)
Dee Wallace gives a good performance as a mother trying her best to keep her family from fighting during their Christmas celebration. It is clear she has always had her work cut out for her with her children Ginny (Janis McGavin), Suzy (Sara Bishop), and Jerry (Gerard Odwyer). Ginny and Suzy have seemingly always had a sibling rivalry, and now that they are adults, there is a huge clash of morals between the entire family and Suzy, who is extremely religious, as is her husband Joe (David Collins), who is a preacher. Jerry is the youngest of the siblings and has down syndrome. He is the liveliest of the kids, quick to put a smile on everyone's face, but he would also be the most hurt if his mother's secret ever got out.
A family brought together by death. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)
Some of the cinematography is a bit weird. It feels like cinematographer Douglas James Burgdorff was instructed to keep the lighting interesting. Because of this, many of the scenes are backlit in the hot pinks and neon greens of Christmas decorations, or the deep reds and flashing bright blues of a cop car driving by outside. These colors serve as the only luminescence in multiple shots. Many of the shots are also filmed at strange angles to keep the flow spruced up, and while some viewers may find this annoying, we mostly enjoyed it because it's an obvious attempt to make it feel more artistic and less one-dimensional.
Deck the halls. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)
Overall, "Red Christmas" is a fun and entertaining low-budget horror romp provided you're not easily offended. It's not a movie everyone will love because of its delicate subject matter, but we had a really good time watching it.

"Red Christmas" will be available nationwide October 17th, 2017 on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital HD, including iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Google Play, Vudu and more.
My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 46%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Movie Review: "Clowntergeist" (2017)

Image Courtesy of October Coast
Movie"Clowntergeist"
Director: Aaron Mirtes
Year: 2017
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes

A woman is harassed by a supernatural ghost clown that has given her a countdown to her death. Now, it is up to her and her friends to find a way to beat this entity before it's too late.

We wonder how long it took writer Brad Belemjian and writer/director Aaron Mirtes to come up with the title "Clowntergeist," because however long it took, it was worth it. The main reason we wanted to watch this movie was due to its title. This film seems to expand on Aaron Mirtes' super creepy debut short film "The Clown Statue," which is essentially rehashed in the first death sequence. The story is changed to make the clown antagonist a supernatural entity. Each of its victims receives a red balloon with an exact time and date written on it letting them know when they will die. The use of the red balloon imagery could be seen as an homage to the clown horror film "It," or possibly a ripoff depending on how you look at it. Clowns are creepy enough on their own before bringing the supernatural into them. I outright hate clowns, which is an opinion and fear many people share, which is why they make such damn good villains in horror films.

This is a low budget B-horror movie, so we can be forgiving of an inexperienced cast and/or lower production values. Unfortunately, that isn't the biggest problem with "Clowntergeist." We would have loved to have seen a tense film about a murdering ghost clown, but director Aaron Mirtes resorts to cheap, ineffective jump-scares to startle the audience far too frequently. Moments like these aren't scary, they are just loud, annoying, and expected. We're sure, dear readers, you already have the image of a creepy clown in your head, all Mirtes had to do was capitalize on it properly, but mostly fails to do so. It feels like the writers thought up their overall concept and got lost in how to fully realize it. They wanted to have a clown antagonist killing and harassing people, but the mechanism in how people are chosen and the final reveal of why it all happens is a very weak design. We would have hoped they would have been a little more creative and found a way to build more tension, but it often winds up feeling like a generic slasher flick. Also, there's not enough clown in the first place! There are a few unsettling and gory moments, mostly involving the bloody remains of a family pet. As dog lovers, it certainly grossed us out, but these instances are few and far between.

We had hoped "Clowntergeist" would have been a hidden horror gem that could have built itself to cult status, but unfortunately, it is much too forgettable and not effective enough as a horror movie.
My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 3.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: No.