Movie Review: "The Witches" (2020)

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Movie: "The Witches"
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Year: 2020
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 46 minutes

Roald Dahl was a writer who made numerous fantastical children's tales with a slightly darker edge. He produced classic stories such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The BFG, and the book on which this film is based, his 1983 novel The Witches. The story was adapted once before by director Nicolas Roeg in 1990, and that incarnation featured Jim Henson's creepy practical visual effects. That version of the story was not beloved when it was released, but it has amassed a cult following over the decades. 30 years have passed since the release of that film, and since Hollywood struggles to do anything original, it was almost inevitable that we would see a remake come to life. This time around, Oscar-winning director Robert Zemeckis puts his spin on Roald Dahl's The Witches (2020)...and he does so by injecting it with his love for baby-boomer nostalgia. Seriously, should we be surprised at this point? After all, what's a Robert Zemeckis film without a couple of feel-good golden oldies on the soundtrack? Zemeckis combines elements from both the book and the 1990 movie but has relocated the setting from Norway and England to 1968 Chicago and Alabama in the good old US-of-A because apparently, Americans can only relate to Americans. Joining Zemeckis as co-writers are Kenya Barris (of Black-ish and Girls Trip fame) and Oscar winner Guillermo del Toro.

Octavia Spencer and Jahzir Bruno star in the movie Roald Dahl's The Witches (Image provided by Warner Bros.)

We were excited about the prospect of a remake of The Witches (2020), especially considering the cast and crew involved here. We love Octavia Spencer and Stanley Tucci, and we've enjoyed Anne Hathaway's work more often than not. Guillermo del Toro is one of our favorite writers/directors. If you need someone to incorporate horror-centered elements into your script, del Toro is the guy for you. I have always enjoyed Black-ish, and Girls Trip was a hilarious surprise. Robert Zemeckis has always been on the cusp of cinematic innovation, and he has been singlehandedly responsible for some of the most iconic films of all time (the Back to the Future franchise, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?). We figured this trio would combine their expertise and bring something fresh and spooky to the world of Roald Dahl's The Witches. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

The Witches (2020) centers on an unnamed orphan boy (Jahzir Bruno) and his Grandma (Octavia Spencer), who takes him in after his parents are killed. One of the differences right off the bat is that this version attempts to explore the grief the boy experiences when he loses his parents, though this is done in the most shallow way possible. Seriously, it's eye-rollingly saccharine. It may have been better to take the earlier approach of not addressing the grief stage at all. As we mentioned, the film now takes place in the post-Jim Crow South. Given this immense change in location and era, we figured Zemeckis and co. would use it as an opportunity to address the racial inequality of the Civil Rights-era South. After all, del Toro and Barris are not strangers to confronting racism head-on in their other works. Unfortunately, that's not the case. The Witches (2020) offers what amounts to a highly idealized version of late 60s-early 70s Alabama. The closest it comes to addressing this is the staff at the plantation-style hotel where the boy and Grandma visit, which is comprised almost entirely of people of color, while the majority of the guests are white. The bellboys are shocked to see Grandma and the boy show up as hotel guests, and nary a word of it is spoken after that. We shouldn't be surprised, considering Zemeckis has sort of built his career on altering history to make it "happier." It felt like a massively missed opportunity. The disconnect is too glaring to ignore, and it speaks to the greater issue at hand: the script doesn't know what it wants to be. It wants to be a reimagining, but about 85% of it is identical to previous versions of the story, and the changes that are made only add confusion and contrivances. Some elements of the narrative are left unexplained or only exist because they are needed as plot devices. One example is Grandma's mystery cough. In the 1990 version of the film, her cough is the reason she and her grandson go to the hotel in the first place, so she can take in the sea air to calm it. Another example is the Grand High Witch (Anne Hathaway) having one toe on each foot. The defining characteristic of a witch is that they have no toes, and the only reason the Grand High Witch has them in this version comes back around later in the story unnecessarily. And speaking of Grandma and the Grand High Witch, most of the acting falls between "good" and "passable." Anne Hathaway's wacky Slavic-esque accent is all over the place. Her version of the Grand High Witch is over-the-top, to say the least. Though it might all be intentional, it was hard to focus on the film once she showed up because she was so hammy. Octavia Spencer does a good job but doesn't have much to work with.

Robert Zemeckis has always been a director who uses exciting, new technology to help tell his stories. We had hoped Zemeckis might combine the latest CGI technology with practical effects for optimum creepiness, and as a nod to the original film, which used puppets and special effects from Jim Henson's Creature Shop. Wrong again. While there are some practical effects used here, Zemeckis leans heavily on the usage of CGI for most of the film, including the animals, the transformation scenes, and even for the arms, faces, and fingers of the witches. More often than not, the visual effects wind up looking cartoonish and painfully unrealistic.

Anne Hathaway stars as the Grand High Witch in The Witches (2020) (Image provided by Warner Bros.)

The Witches (2020) is not intolerable, but it's a glossy, more mellowed-out, more Hollywood version of Roald Dahl's story, which we're sure is wickeder than this incarnation. It wants to be a film everyone can identify with, but the script lacks the conviction to dive into the hard-hitting issue of racial inequality despite being set in the not-so-far-off-1960s. It wants to be a dark fantasy adventure, but its heavy reliance on CGI makes it look overly goofy and not at all frightening. It does the bare minimum to keep kids engaged, and we think parents will be bored out of their gourds watching it. As hard as she tries, Anne Hathaway is not Anjelica Huston, a key component of why the original film was as successful as it was. We think it'd be best to stick with the version from 1990, which is more relatable and still holds up today.

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: ~5.4/10
RT Rating: ~49%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

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Movie Review: "Shithouse" (2020)

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Movie: "Shithouse"
Director: Cooper Raiff
Year: 2020
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

"Shithouse" (2020) is the second film we saw as part of the 2020 San Diego International Film Festival with a misleading-ish title. It isn't quite what you'd expect it to be based on its name alone. The name "Shithouse" conjures up images of raucous party flicks, "Van Wilder" (2002), "PCU" (1994), or "Porky's" (1981) types of pictures loaded with drunk people trying to get laid. This particular film does involve drunk college students trying to get laid, but tonally, it's more in line with Richard Linklater's "Before Sunrise" (1995) with a sprinkling of "Everybody Wants Some!" (2016). Written by, directed by, and starring Cooper Raiff, "Shithouse" (2020) follows a young college freshman named Alex (Raiff) who is struggling to adapt to college dorm life. Alex has no friends, he and his roommate Sam (Logan Miller) don't get along, and he spends most of his free time either talking to his stuffed dog or calling his family back home. Hoping to break out of his shell and with a little urging from his plush pooch, Alex decides to go to a frat party at a place known as 'Shithouse.' The party doesn't go well at all. When Alex and Sam return to their dorm room, Sam craps his pants, forcing Alex to seek refuge from the smell in the common room. There, he strikes up a conversation with the dorm's RA, a sophomore named Maggie (Dylan Gelula). The two instantly hit it off and talk into the night, but when morning comes, Maggie suddenly changes her tune, and the chemistry they had a few short hours ago seems gone.

Alex (Cooper Raiff) is homesick while attending college in the 2020 IFC Film "Shithouse" (2020). (Image Source)

The first half of "Shithouse" (2020) mostly consists of Alex and Maggie walking around campus as they carry on conversations about their lives, how they were raised, and their philosophies on college and what they hope to get out of it. Cooper Raiff and "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" star Dylan Gelula have terrific chemistry with one another, so it's not hard to get lost in their conversations. They share many humorous moments as Alex tries to escape his natural awkwardness, but there is also a lot of tenderness as they discuss past traumas and future ambitions. These intimate early conversations are the most compelling parts of the film.

After their transcendent night together, Alex and Maggie wake up the next morning, and her attitude has inexplicably changed. She has an almost hostile tone towards him and apparently wants nothing to do with him. At this point, the audience might be just as confused as Alex as to her sudden switch. Alex might throw some seriously nasty farts in his sleep...who the hell knows? It's as good an explanation as any since we're sort of left guessing. We get not wanting to create a relationship from a one night stand. We can even understand that Maggie's attitude change might reflect how much room she has left to grow as a person with a lot of traumatic emotional baggage, but her "ghosting" Alex with no explanation didn't sit right with us. There's not even a simple "this isn't what I want" or "we had a nice night together, but this isn't going to work out," just a cold shoulder he's left to work out as he wallows in his aloneness once more. From that moment on, the events of the next day unfold more awkwardly than watching Alex have a full-on conversation with his stuffed animal. We start to see Maggie become increasingly crueler as Alex gets even more desperate, which isn't an impression you want for your two romantic leads. If this series of events play out in the name of realism, well, it's nothing we've ever experienced first-or-even-secondhand, but maybe things have changed in the 15 years we've been together. In that same amount of time, however, our society has also made leaps and bounds when it comes to calling out bad behavior and toxic situations. For a time, we found ourselves actively rooting against Maggie and Alex's partnership because of its underlying toxicity, especially after they have their big blow-out and say some impressively shitty things to one another. Their massive fight gave us serious "you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half" vibes.

The narrative is also pretty uneven as it is almost entirely front-heavy, which makes for a sluggish second half despite the tension and bickering. The script rushes things at the end in search of a satisfying conclusion, which we thought was a little too convenient. It would have been nice to have had a few more minutes with the characters to catch up on whether or not they learned to be better people from the time they spent together. That being said, Dylan Gelula and Cooper Raiff both put on great performances.

Dylan Gelula and Cooper Raiff star in the film "Shithouse" (2020). (Image Source)

Regardless of how you feel about the title, "Shithouse" (2020) boasts quite a bit of charm early on despite some structural messiness. Anyone who has gone away to college or moved away from home will be able to relate to having feelings of homesickness while trying to find your place in a sea of strangers and new situations. One thing's for sure, we're going to be keeping an eye on Cooper Raiff and Dylan Gelula's careers because we see nothing but good things for them in the future.

My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.3/10
RT Rating: ~96%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "Hubie Halloween" (2020)

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Movie: "Hubie Halloween"
Director: Steven Brill
Year: 2020
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Well...no one can accuse Adam Sandler of being a bad friend.

Last year, the Sand Man appeared in "Uncut Gems" (2019), the critically acclaimed film by the Safdie Brothers, which showed that he could still be taken seriously as an actor and led to a host of awards buzz for him. During the lead-up to the Oscars, Sandler joked that if he didn't win an Academy Award, he would "fucking come back and do one again that is so bad on purpose just to make you all pay. That's how I get them." Were his words merely empty threats, or was he frightfully serious? Sandler returns to his bread and butter of silly voices and fart jokes in his latest spooky spectacle, Netflix's "Hubie Halloween" (2020), directed by frequent collaborator Steven Brill.

Adam Sandler dresses up as a ghost in the original Netflix film "Hubie Halloween." (Image provided by Netflix)

For the first few minutes of "Hubie Halloween" (2020), we thought Adam Sandler might actually be fulfilling his promise to make the worst film of his career post-Oscars "snub." As the mustachioed busy-body Hubie Dubois (Sandler) bikes down the streets of Salem with a cartoonish voice and an oblivious disposition, local area children pelt him with eggs that he catches in his self-made-Swiss-Army-wonder-Thermos. He then shakes it up, drinks it, and promptly projectile vomits all over the road. It's a lot of cringe all at once and made for a bumpy start to this Halloween-themed comedy. As the movie goes along its runtime, we must admit, we found ourselves laughing on occasion at the ridiculousness of it all, but we think it would have been a whole lot funnier without Sandler's obnoxious, grating, tedious voice choice. The Swiss Army Thermos gag is a recurring joke that gets pretty old pretty quickly, but a couple of the choice gadgets did make us smile from time to time.

Make sure you know going into this movie that the script gravitates towards references to Sandler's other works in place of actual substance. Lines are recycled ("O'Doyle rules!" was originally from "Billy Madison"), actors play similar parts (Julie Bowen has once again been cast as Sandler's love interest), and characters reprise their roles (Ben Stiller reprises his "Happy Gilmore" role as Orderly Hal, and Steve Buscemi played a werewolf in "Hotel Transylvania"). When in doubt, go for the nostalgia factor, right? Just as we've come to expect (given the last two and a half decades of precedent), Sandler and fellow screenplay writer Tim Herlihy have found another vessel to help keep all of his friend (Kevin James, Blake Clark, Shaquille O'Neal, Maya Rudolph, Tim Meadows, and active SNL players Kenan Thompson, Mikey Day, and Melissa Villaseñor) gainfully employed for another year. Like we said, he's a top-notch friend.

We couldn't help but want more from "Hubie Halloween" (2020) because we're suckers for holiday-themed fare. This movie could be considered this generation's "Ernest Scared Stupid" (1991) or "Halloweentown" (1998). It's not something we would call "an uproariously hilarious annual necessity," but it's tolerable enough to view on Halloween afternoon with the older kids before the horror movies start playing. We say older kids because it might be awkward having to explain what a "Boner Doner" is to your younger children, as our good pal MannyInLofi would tell you personally.

Julie Bowen and Adam Sandler star in the Netflix comedy movie "Hubie Halloween" (2020). (Image provided by Netflix)

Netflix's "Hubie Halloween" (2020) is nowhere near as bad as we thought it would be, but that doesn't mean it's all that good. Still, it's a far sight better than most of Adam Sandler's other Netflix offerings. The best thing we can say about this movie is that we don't completely hate ourselves for having watched it, and that's a win where Sandler flicks are concerned. For people who are looking to turn their brains off for 102 minutes just to avoid the hellish nightmare that is 2020, Hubie Dubois, his cohorts, and their shenanigans might provide a much-needed escape this Halloween.

My Rating: 4.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
RT Rating: 47%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

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Movie Review: "Drunk Bus" (2020)

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Movie: "Drunk Bus"
Director: John Carlucci and Brandon LaGanke
Year: 2020
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

The title "Drunk Bus" (2020) conjures up images of a film with raucous frat parties and eccentric characters doing zany things, a potential new-age "Animal House" (1978), "Old School" (2003), or "Revenge of the Nerds" (1987). This indie comedy is based on the experiences of writer Chris Molinaro and directors John Carlucci and Brandon LaGanke and is pretty far removed from the "wild college party" genre, though it does still have a few tricks up its sleeve. The main focus of the story is on a bus driver named Michael (Charlie Tahan), who rides "the loop" that transports drunk college kids from bars back to Ohio's Kent Institute of Technology campus day in and day out. Michael has been out of his long-term relationship for nine months but still pines for his ex-girlfriend. He has given up most of his future aspirations and is stuck living a repetitive, mundane life. That all changes when he meets Pineapple (Pineapple Tangaroa), a large, tatted-up, punk rock Samoan that the bus company has hired to be Michael's bodyguard after he was assaulted by a drunk frat guy. Pineapple teaches Michael to adopt a more "devil may care" attitude and to stop stressing himself out so much over shit that doesn't matter. Pineapple is occasionally a bad influence on Michael since his advice often leads straight to trouble and toxic behaviors, all in the name of being more carefree and more independent.

Charlie Tahan and Pineapple Tangaroa star in the upcoming 2020 comedy film "Drunk Bus." (Image Source)

From minute one, we found ourselves interested in Michael's journey during "Drunk Bus" (2020), but once Pineapple entered the picture, we were really all aboard. It's Pineapple Tangaroa's charm and endearing nature that makes this movie as entertaining as it is. Tangaroa sure knows how to light up the screen. His look is intriguing, his laugh is infectious, and his chemistry with star Charlie Tahan makes this the perfect college non-road-trip-buddy-comedy. Tahan is excellent in his own right. Michael is an extremely relatable character. We all know what it's like to struggle with dull, repetitious days that bleed into one another, especially during this pandemic. Tahan does a great job portraying a guy who has been caught up in the monotony of life for so long that he has no choice but to try things Pineapple's way. After all, what's he got to lose (besides a coveted safety award and the chance at a promotion)? As Michael breaks out of his daily routine and starts forging his own path in life, some humorous happenings occur along the way, including some light theft, yards of yarn, fireworks, lots of DEVO, night terrors, and some artwork that will leave you in absolute stitches. Of course, many of Michael's actions would get him immediately fired (if not arrested), but sometimes, leaving a terrible job can be a blessing in disguise, so if you're going to go down anyway, why not go down in a blaze of glory? Finally, SNL veteran Will Forte plays a cameo role as Michael's boss Fred. Fred frequently chimes in over the bus radio to provide a host of silly shenanigans, as well as to give Michael a sobering glimpse into what his future might be like if he sticks with the company long-term. The performances are solid all around, and they make the film as successful as it is.

Still, "Drunk Bus" (2020) is not without its flaws. It does come off a little formulaic from time to time, and it does fall into some of the typical indie movie tropes. Some of the screenplay's more dramatic elements feel conveniently timed and a little too inorganic, which is odd considering this film is "based on some true shit." This didn't detract from our overall viewing experience, but it was something we both noticed.

Michael (Charlie Tahan) aimlessly drives a college bus in "Drunk Bus" (2020).  (Image Source)

"Drunk Bus" (2020) is a fun slice-of-life/coming-of-age indie comedy with some enjoyable performances, some spectacular chemistry, and one of the weirdest looking paintings we've ever seen. Just don't think too hard about its familiarity and occasional plot conveniences and hop on for the ride.

My Rating: 7.5/10

BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ---/10
RT Rating: ~100%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

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Movie Review: "Eat Wheaties!" (2020)

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Movie: "Eat Wheaties!"
Director: Scott Abramovitch
Year: 2020
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

There will be times in life when you're going about your day, and you run into someone from your past, like a high school acquaintance or an old college pal. Most of us briefly acknowledge the other person and do the half-friendly half-morbidly-embarrassed nod/sup-head-lift/semi-wave because we fear the awkward "catch-up-conversation" that inevitably follows. In the age of social media, former friends and acquaintances find each other on sites like Facebook, requesting friendships that are mostly limited to a "like" here and a "happy birthday" comment there. Sid Straw (Tony Hale), the lead character in writer/director Scott Abramovitch's "Eat Wheaties!" (2020), is in a league of gauche all his own. Sid goes out of his way to seek out life's awkward conversations, whether he does so knowingly or not. In fact, his whole life (and pretty much every interaction he has) is an embarrassing conversation. When Sid finds an old college buddy on Facebook, he's ready to share his life story with her, even when said college buddy just so happens to be a celebrity, someone like, say, Heather Locklear...no, no, someone more relevant: Elizabeth Banks. He sends her a quick friend request, then goes on to have several very personal, very one-sided, very public conversations with her Facebook wall. Since Sid is an older guy who is a bit out of touch, he isn't aware that all these posts are visible by everyone who comes across her page, and his "letters" to Elizabeth eventually send his life spiraling out of control.

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"Eat Wheaties!" (2020) is based on author Michael Kun's book "The Locklear Letters," which we wanted to seek out immediately after the film ended. We can't imagine how much more cringe-worthy content is packed in the book because the movie is chock full of it. Sid is a very oblivious person who tries a little too hard at everything he does. His slightly bizarre, aggressively friendly, borderline desperate nature and lack of personal and social filters are very off-putting to most of the people he interacts with, and we as the audience sense the uncomfortable feelings the recipients of his conversations experience. The secondhand embarrassment sets in early and often, and we repeatedly found ourselves slapping our faces and burying our heads in our hands while watching Sid carry on a chat with a coworker, extended family member, or romantic prospect. Come on now, none of us are perfect. We've all said, "you too!" after the ticket taker at a movie theater told you to "enjoy your movie." We've all sent a stupid tweet, or a silly text, or a dumb Tinder message...but how would you feel if your words went viral? Scott Abramovitch does a stellar job putting the audience in Sid's shoes as his online posts end up having real-life consequences. As the film moves along its runtime, it becomes apparent that the screenplay is not solely about its facepalms. There's a lot of sweetness, heart, and soul here, too, and by the movie's end, we felt satisfied with the pile-on-to-sincerity ratio.

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We laughed a lot during "Eat Wheaties!" (2020), even when we wanted to bang our heads against the wall while yelling, "Dude! What were you thinking?!" every time Sid did just about anything. Tony Hale was the perfect choice to fill this role as he has had a storied career playing uncomfortable, slightly abrasive characters like Gary Walsh from "Veep" and Buster Bluth from "Arrested Development." The film also boasts a terrific supporting cast, including Alan Tudyk, Sarah Chalke, Elisha Cuthbert, Danielle Brooks, Lamorne Morris, Robbie Amell, and one of our favorite newcomers, Paul Walter Hauser, who has been phenomenal in every movie we've seen him in. The only real "criticism" we can think of is that this feature is a bit formulaic and fairly predictable (and no, we haven't read the book). It might not be genre-defying, but it has enough charm, laughs, and excellent performances to make it worth the price of admission.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ---/10
RT Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

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Movie Review: "before/during/after" (2020)

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Movie: "before/during/after"
Director: Stephen Kunken and Jack Lewars
Year: 2020
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

We all have our own ways of dealing with the difficult circumstances life throws at us. Many people turn to professional help from counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists to discover different coping techniques, from simply reflecting on the good times you've had in life, up to and including role-playing your way through your problems. When you're an actor, however, you get a unique opportunity to really take 'role-playing through your problems' to the next level. "before/during/after" (2020) feels like writer/producer/star Finnerty Steeves's therapy through her art. Without even knowing the details of her personal life, we could tell right away that this project hit close to home for her. A quick Google search will tell you this film is very much a reflection of how her real-life 15-year marriage came to an end. In an interview with W42ST.com, Steeves discusses what went wrong in her actual relationship, much of which is shown on-screen, verbatim, in "before/during/after" (2020). Though this movie is directed by Stephen Kunken and Jack Lewars, we have a hunch they didn't take much artistic license beyond the initial script because it feels like they let it remain mostly (if not entirely) Steeves' story.

Photo: Finnerty Steeves and Jeremy Davidson look at greeting cards in the 2020 indie movie "before/during/after." (Image provided by the San Diego International Film Festival)

"before/during/after" (2020) is billed as a dramedy, though it leans into the drama more than the comedy. It's not the kind of movie that's full of the grandiose, over-the-top blowouts full of screaming and namecalling, you know, the one we've become accustomed to seeing in "soured relationship" movies (looking at you, "Marriage Story"). It's more of a "stoic reflection" type of drama as we watch actress Jennie (Finnerty Steeves) and her husband David (Jeremy Davidson) try to salvage what's left of their broken kinship. There are a couple of big, gut-punching emotional scenes, but where this film thrives is in its quietly pointed moments of absolute devastation as Jennie and David desperately try to save what has been shattered by infidelity, unaddressed needs, and a long-term lack of communication. While they reminisce about their happiest memories together, discuss "the other woman," and attend a revolving door of counseling sessions that would be enough to make the strongest couples fold, they come to the realization that they have always wanted very different things and had very different expectations for their marriage.

It's not all doom and gloom, though. There are several hilarious scenes in "before/during/after" (2020). But, even with the wacky couples therapists, a raunchy night out for Jennie and her girlfriends, and a trip to a pleasure palace for a vibrator "for her friend's bachelorette party," the story never feel phony or unrealistic. It's not a complex narrative full of crazy twists and turns. There are no grand romantic gestures or artificial Hollywood resolutions. It's merely a raw, relatable slice of one woman's life as she comes to terms with ending the relationship she's been in for nearly half of her existence. Finnerty Steeves acts the pants off of her part, but now that we know it's based on her real-life relationship, we're not surprised she nailed it.

On a technical note, we will admit the first portion of the film does aimlessly wander here and there. This is likely because the first few acts are told through a series of flashbacks as we watch Jennie relive the memories of her relationship during an audition for a part that's a little on the nose. Some viewers won't like that it's occasionally choppy, and while it didn't bother us too much, it did slow down the pacing just a skosh.

Photo: Jeremy Davidson, Finnerty Steeves, and Richard Masur star in "before/during/after" (2020). (Image provided by the San Diego International Film Festival)

"before/during/after" (2020) might not be the best film to watch if you're in a bad place in your marriage, but it's definitely worth checking out. We both liked this movie and thought it was engaging, though I liked it a bit more than BigJ did. He felt like it was missing an emotional spark. On the other hand, I was either consistently laughing or silently crying throughout its runtime.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: ~9.4/10
RT Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "Bad Boys for Life" (2020)

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Movie: "Bad Boys for Life"

Director: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah
Year: 2020
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

Twenty-five years ago alllllllll the way back in 1995, director Michael Bay introduced the world to Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett in his dumb-but-slightly-fun-but-also-too-self-serious action flick "Bad Boys." Eight years later, in 2003, he followed it up with the much-longer-but-much-more-enjoyable-and-self-aware "Bad Boys II." 17 years have passed, and we have now finally gotten the third film in the franchise without Michael Bay in the director's chair. Maybe that's just what the series needed. "Bad Boys for Life" is directed by Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah. "Bulletproof" Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) becomes the target of assassination when Isabel Aretas (Kate del Castillo), the wife of a deceased drug kingpin, escapes from prison in an extremely violent manner. She tasks her son, Armando (Jacob Scipio), to restart the family business and to kill Mike and everyone else who had a hand in destroying it years ago. While Mike wants to uncover who is behind this assassination plot, his longtime partner, Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence), is ready to hang up his badge and retire once and for all, especially now that he is a grandfather. While Marcus is on the bench, Mike gets teamed up with a young tactical team known as ASOC headed by his ex, Rita (Paola Nuñez), who, much to Mike's chagrin, is leading the investigation.

Photo: Martin Lawrence and Will Smith star in the 2020 film "Bad Boys for Life." (Image Source)

We have nothing against Michael Bay as a director. In fact, we have genuinely enjoyed some of his movies. Though we were never huge fans of the original "Bad Boys" film, we did think "Bad Boys II" was a decent watch. Sometimes, all you need is a new perspective to help make things click, and "Bad Boys for Life" absolutely clicks.

Will Smith remains his charming, suave, gun-and-gung-ho self and still looks like he's having a blast playing Mike Lowrey, even after all these years. Martin Lawrence has seemingly pushed through his personal troubles and has rediscovered his groove, bringing back the same brand of humor that made him such a hot commodity in the 90s. Smith and Lawrence reignite their dynamic chemistry in the first scene of this movie, and their hilarious banter and heartfelt brotherhood never let up once throughout the film.

Smith and Lawrence were never the problems with this series. The issues always stemmed from the lack of coherent, cohesive narratives. Under Michael Bay's tutelage, we feel like the audience was forced to suspend their disbelief one too many times. Adil and Bilall manage to bring that much-needed, much more consistent component to the franchise while still maintaining all of the explosions, car chases, and action we have come to expect from a Bay-helmed production. This is not to say the story here is perfect because it's not. It has its fair share of contrivances and cliched moments that might make your head spin (think: third act reveal, oy vey), but in all honesty, we were so entertained with what we were watching that we were able to forgive its flaws and enjoy it for the shockingly fun ride it was.

Another aspect of "Bad Boys for Life" that we like is the addition of the young ASOC team that counteracts the aging Lowrey (a man desperate to cling to his youth) and Burnett, who is at his full-on Danny Glover "I'm getting too old for this shit" "Lethal Weapon" phase. Charles Melton's character Rafe has a terrific playful rivalry with Mike that includes a lot of jokes about Mike's age, which frequently results in retorts about Rafe's mother (naturally!). Paola Nuñez's character Rita also has some great romantic tension with Smith's Lowrey. The two of them used to be in a relationship, and with Rita running the show, Mike's wants and desires for justice have to take a backseat to protocol and routine. Old standby Joe Pantoliano also returns as the Pepto Bismol-chugging, anxiety-riddled Captain Howard, and his routine with Lawrence and Smith hasn't lost its charm, either. Series newcomers Kate del Castillo and Jacob Scipio make for some vicious, wicked villains who seemingly have no remorse and want only to exact revenge on Mike for the wrongs he committed years ago.

Photo: Jacob Scipio and Kate del Castillo star as Isabel and Armando Aretas in "Bad Boys for Life" (2020). (Image Source)

"Bad Boys for Life" is our favorite movie in the "Bad Boys" series. We never in a million years thought we would say this, but if there should be a fourth installment in the "Bad Boys" franchise, we'll be there opening day with bells on. This is a total blast from start to finish.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
RT Rating: 76%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon" (2019)

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Movie: "A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon"

Director: Will Becher and Richard Phelan
Year: 2019
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 26 minutes

If we're looking for a high-quality stop-motion animated feature to watch, two studios come to mind. The first studio is Laika, who are known for their more mature, darkly-themed family entertainment like "Kubo and the Two Strings" and "ParaNorman." The other is Aardman Animations, a studio that offers lighter films targeted toward younger audiences like "Wallace and Gromit" and "Chicken Run" (though these films can, of course, still be enjoyed by adults). Aardman's latest stop-motion flick comes from first-time feature film directors Will Becher and Richard Phelan, who offer up a new story for a familiar character with Netflix's "A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon" (2020). When a spaceship lands on earth, the adorable, very hungry, very lost alien inside the ship shows up at Mossy Bottom Farms. When Shaun and his sheep pals discover the cute little critter, they befriend it, and Shaun takes it upon himself to help guide the alien back to its ship. The other sheep are tasked with keeping the rule-oriented Bitzer the dog distracted so Shaun and his new friend can leave the farm. Bitzer isn't the only thing Shaun and his new extraterrestrial buddy have to worry about. It turns out, a secret government agency is also looking for the lost alien, and they plan on capturing it before it has a chance to leave earth.

Bitzer the dog scolds Shaun the Sheep for playing frisbee in a photo for the Netflix movie "Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon" (2020). (Photo provided by Netflix)

We have to admit, we were a little disappointed by Aardman's last film "Early Man." We did, however, enjoy the previous "Shaun the Sheep Movie," even though we aren't frequent viewers of the series. People who aren't familiar with Shaun the Sheep should know going in that his movies contain little to no dialogue. To us, that's part of their charm! Most of the characters speak in noises, grunts, and quizzical moans. The only being who comes anywhere close to speaking is the newly introduced blue-and-purple-dog-like-alien-creature Lu-La, who uses the phrase "zoom zoom!" to help describe its ship. Even though the characters aren't explicitly speaking, we get what they mean, and we can understand them because of their body language and facial expressions.

"Farmageddon" is a pleasant, engaging, silly, charming, visually-told narrative that we had a blast watching. We instantly fell in love with Lu-La and all of her food-chomping antics. She and Shaun get up to some wild, out-of-this-world (literally!) shenanigans in this installment. It's clear that this movie draws a lot of inspiration from "E.T.," and the filmmakers don't try to hide it. They throw in many references to Steven Spielberg's works throughout the story, including nods to at least "Jaws" and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." These little touches will help the adults in the crowd stay interested in between bouts of slapstick, pizza jokes, and UFO amusement park gags. As a whole, the story is pretty familiar. We've seen sci-fi exploration/"getting a child home to their parents" scenarios play out in animated films for decades, but that doesn't make this tale any less fun to watch. It's full of bright, vibrant, beautifully animated settings, characters, and frames that come together seamlessly. We hold stop-motion animators in such high regard. The sheer amount of work put into each and every detail is remarkable. The final product is aesthetically pleasing, heartwarming, and compassionate.

In "A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon," Shaun the Sheep and an alien named Lu-La enter zero gravity in a spaceship full of pizzas. (Photo provided by Netflix)

While the story might be simple and the jokes might be a bit predictable, we think the stunning animation, the funny jokes, and the solid message about friendship and empathy towards others makes Netflix's "A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon" (2020) worth checking out via the streaming giant on February 14th, 2020. It put huge smiles on our faces, and we had oodles of fun watching it.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.0/10
RT Rating: 98%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

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Movie Review: "Dolittle" (2020)

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Movie: "Dolittle"

Director: Stephen Gaghan
Year: 2019
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

One hundred years ago, author Hugh Lofting introduced Doctor Dolittle to the world with his long titled book "The Story of Doctor Dolittle: Being the History of His Peculiar Life at Home and Astonishing Adventures in Foreign Parts," which would be followed by over a dozen other titles featuring the character. The story has been adapted into numerous films and animated features, the most notable of which is the 1967 musical starring Rex Harrison as the titular Dolittle, which was unbelievably nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. Next was the 1998 modern reimagining of the story featuring Eddie Murphy as the famed Doctor. Now, in the year 2020, Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr., takes over the role in a period piece family adventure film called "Dolittle," written in part and directed by Stephen Gaghan. Gaghan is an odd choice to direct this family-friendly film since he is best known for making heavy-hitting political dramas like "Traffic" and "Syriana." We've seen directors seamlessly transition into making kids movies before (George Miller, to name one), so never say never!

Robert Downey Jr. questions his life choices after playing Dr. John Dolittle in Universal's "Dolittle" (2020). (Image Source)

The story begins with an animated sequence introducing Doctor Dolittle to the audience, telling us stories of the great adventures he had with his wife, an explorer so brave and so great that we can't even remember her name. It turns out, Wife vanished and most likely died on an adventure where Dolittle was not with her (although no shipwrecked corpse is seen, so we don't believe it). Dolittle has since become a recluse, shutting himself off from the human world while his only companions are the animals he keeps on his nature reserve. One day, Dolittle is contacted by a girl named Lady Rose (Carmel Laniado), who tells him he has been summoned by Queen Victoria (Jessie Buckley), who has mysteriously fallen ill. If the Queen dies, the royal decree that protects Dolittle's home and the animals on it will die with her. Dolittle reluctantly agrees to examine the Queen and quickly determines she has ingested some sort of toxin. Dolittle must go on a quest to find an antidote, so he, his animal compatriots, and a little kid named Stubbins (Harry Collett), who accidentally shot a squirrel, go on an adventure to find the medicine to cure the Queen.

Stubbins (Harry Collett) forces John Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) and his animals to take him with him on an adventure out to sea in the movie "Dolittle." (Image Source)

Full disclosure, we haven't liked a single adaptation of "Doctor Dolittle." We think that the 1967 film is one of the worst Best Picture nominees of all time, and we can't really remember much about Eddie Murphy's version of the story. That being said, we had high hopes for "Dolittle" (2020) considering the ridiculous amount of talented actors involved in this project. It is loaded with Oscar-nominated and Oscar-winning celebrities. Eight of the actors in this film have been nominated for Academy Awards, and five of them are winners. Stephen Gaghan is also an Oscar-winning screenwriter, though as we mentioned, it was for a very different type of film. Hollywood is ripe with successful, enjoyable family adventure flicks like "The Princess Bride," the "Harry Potter" movies, and even the underseen and underappreciated "The Kid Who Would Be King" from last year. We were hoping we could add "Dolittle" to that list, hoping that it might be something fantastical, fun, and full of wonder. Instead, what we get is a ridiculously stupid "comedy" complete with a pratfalling ostrich, an annoyingly vindictive squirrel, a duck with a running gag featuring various vegetables, and a constipated dragon that farts in Dolittle's face for no less than 25 seconds. The humor is targeted to the most juvenile members of the audience, and it didn't work for us at all. We have been known to enjoy a well-placed fart joke, and we figured that since Gaghan is an Oscar-winning scribe and all, surely he could come up with something more amusing than "I think Doctor Dolittle did a little doo-doo." BigJ managed to chuckle maybe once or twice, though admittedly, they were laughs of bewilderment rather than guffaws at actual jokes. It's not just the gags that are poorly written. The story is a jumbled mess full of contrived plot points and ill-fitting, goofy shenanigans that force the story along for 102 minutes rather than letting it flow naturally. You know what the target audience of "Dolittle" definitely won't understand? References to "Rush Hour" and "The Godfather"! That's poorly written script 101: if all else fails, add pop culture references! All of these problems come before you factor in Robert Downey Jr. Oh, Robert, Robert, Robert...what the hell are you doing?! Robert Downey Jr's. performance is baffling and bad and bafflingly bad. He's dreadfully miscast here. It's as if Robert Downey Jr. is playing Johnny Depp playing Jack Sparrow playing Doctor Dolittle. His accent, which he swears up and down is Welsh (we would have never guessed this in a million years) is distractingly bothersome. It honestly sounds like he's putting on a bad British accent and then layering it with an offensively stereotypical Indian accent. It's not charming, it's not funny, and it's certainly not effective.

Tom Holland, John Cena, and Academy Award-winning actors Octavia Spencer, Rami Malek, and Emma Thompson are in it for the paycheck by voicing various animals in the 2020 film "Dolittle." (Image Source)

It's difficult to process how a movie with this much talent and a $175 million budget could be this wretched. It is genuinely upsetting to think about all of the projects that did not get funded by Universal because they decided that a third adaptation of Doctor Dolittle would be well received by audiences in the year 2020. It wasn't a good idea, and it has not been well received. "Dolittle" is an absolute chore to watch. Family films are supposed to be enjoyed by the whole family, not just the littlest kids in the room, which is part of the reason why it fails so hard. Admittedly, we're not this movie's target audience. Maybe kids, especially youngsters who like poopie-doo-doo jokes, will enjoy this. Still, we can't help but feel terrible for the poor parents who have to take their younglings to see this poorly acted, awfully put together garbage fire of a film. It's just another example of how a middling director like Stephen Gaghan gets a massive check and carte blanche to make whatever horrible and forced hell movie he wants while up-and-coming directors with new, diverse ideas and fresh takes are sidelined and have to pay for his poor choices. Universal had the chance to do better, and instead, they did "Dolittle."

My Rating: 1/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.6/10
RT Rating: 16%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

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Movie Review: "The Two Popes" (2019)

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Movie: "The Two Popes"

Director: Fernando Meirelles
Year: 2019
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 5 minutes

The conservative Cardinal Ratzinger and the much more liberal Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio have a discussion about what's best for the Catholic church and what role they will have to play in its future.

Movie Review: "Like a Boss" (2020)

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Movie: "Like a Boss"

Director: Miguel Arteta
Year: 2020
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 23 minutes

Mia and Mel are two lifelong best friends who founded a makeup company together. Unfortunately, they are over $400K in debt. To save their business, they take a deal from a successful cosmetics company run by Claire Luna, who does her best to destroy their friendship so she can steal their ideas and take over their company.

Movie Review: "Wild Rose" (2019)

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Movie: "Wild Rose"

Director: Tom Harper
Year: 2019
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 41 minutes

An ex-con from Glasgow tries to resume her dream of becoming a Nashville country singer but struggles to balance her passion with her domestic responsibilities as a mother to two young children.