Movie Review: "Thank You for Smoking" (2005)

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Movie: "Thank You for Smoking"

Director: Jason Reitman
Year: 2005
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

Tobacco lobbyist Nick Naylor spends his days advocating in favor of smoking, trying to repair his relationship with his son, and eating with other lobbyists for controversial industries, all while preparing to face off against an anti-smoking senator who hopes to put new visually graphic warning labels on cigarettes.

"If you argue correctly, you're never wrong." (Image Source)

It's interesting and ironic that, in a satire about a tobacco lobbyist defending the right to smoke, nobody lights up a cigarette in a 92-minute runtime. "Thank You for Smoking" is the feature film directorial debut for writer/director Jason Reitman, who would go on to direct movies like "Juno," "Up in the Air," and "Young Adult." It is based on the novel of the same name by Christopher Buckley. The story follows a tobacco lobbyist named Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart), who is the public face of "big tobacco." He spends his time as an advocate for cigarettes on talk shows and news programs as he attempts to grease political wheels in order to give cancer sticks a good name. He spends his free time eating with other lobbyists, specifically those who represent alcohol (Maria Bello) and guns (David Koechner). Nick is also trying to navigate getting to a good place with his ex-wife (Kim Dickens) in order to improve his relationship with his son (Cameron Bright) while simultaneously trying to figure out how to be the best role model for him. Nick is about to have a showdown with the hyper-critical Senator Finistirre (William H. Macy) over a new warning label that the senator is trying to get put on all cigarette packages. In the romance department, Nick has been spending time with a reporter named Heather Holloway (Katie Holmes), who is doing a story on Finistirre's upcoming legislation and on Naylor himself. 

"I want to see where the devil sleeps. (Image Source)

It's a tough task to make someone who is an advocate for one of the deadliest legal products in the world a likable character. Luckily, Jason Reitman does a wonderful job achieving this, though it probably helps that Aaron Eckhart manages to make Nick Naylor such a charming (though undoubtedly smarmy) man. He radiates that certain charisma that we are all innately attracted to, despite the fact that he's shilling death sticks and rebuffing "cancer kids" as a 9-to-5. This film remains one of Eckhart's best performances (sorry "I, Frankenstein," there's just no competition). There are many good supporting performances in "Thank You for Smoking" as well, some performances from actors we completely forgot were in the movie, like J.K. Simmons, Robert Duvall, Maria Bello, David Koechner, and William H. Macy. There are even a few bit performances that stand out as well, from the likes of Sam Elliot (the former Marlboro Man), Rob Lowe (an L.A. agent with brass cojones and a penchant for bullshit), and Adam Brody (Lowe's overly friendly, overly obsessed, super clingy assistant).

"I've got a bachelor's degree in kickin' ass." (Image Source)

"Thank You for Smoking" uses satire and irony supremely well to generate many smartly insightful humorous moments that hold up well even today. We laugh on the regular each time we watch this film, though it is a more steady stream of small laughs rather big guffaws. We still enjoy this flick even though it is 13 years old. We like the overall themes of the movie, which are less about smoking and more about the personal freedom to choose what you want to do with your body, namely that you get the ultimate choice over what you want to put/snort/puff/ingest/eat/drink/inject into it. If one is aware of the risks and dangers involved in an activity and they still choose to participate in that activity, as long as they aren't harming anyone else, that is their right. There is also an interesting commentary about how dysfunctional our government can be and how there are still plenty of people who exploit a cause for personal gain.

"My job requires a certain moral flexibility." (Image Source)

"Thank You For Smoking" is full of caustic wit and razor-sharp satire. If you haven't seen this film, what the hell are you doing!? Watch it as soon as possible.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.6/10
RT Rating: 86%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

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Movie Review: "The Unwilling" (2018)

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Movie: "The Unwilling"

Director: Jonathan Heap
Year: 2018
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 24 minutes

After a despised but wealthy patriarch passes away, his beneficiaries gather for a will reading to see what piece of his vast estate they will inherit. Instead of money, they are all presented with a strange box that holds what they each desire but also houses great evil. 

"I've been in hell most of my life and I've managed to survive." (Image provided courtesy of Vision Films)

If you, your family, and your friends receive a weird black box with what appears to be the head of Cthulhu sculpted on top of it that asks for a drop of blood from each person in the room, it may be best to cut your losses and walk away at that point.

"The Unwilling" is directed by Jonathan Heap. This is his first feature-length film in roughly 15 years. His last effort was the 2002 direct-to-video film "Greenmail." Heap also wrote the film along with David Lipper, who plays the story's protagonist named David Harris. The despised Harris family patriarch (Lance Henriksen) has recently passed away. The five beneficiaries of his estate are all summoned to his son David's home. David suffers from OCD and agoraphobia and has not left the house in years. Each beneficiary is expecting to get their grubby little mitts on a piece of Mr. Harris's estate even though they hated him. Instead, they are presented with a creepy black box covered in a detailed sculpture that looks like an octopus or possibly the head of Cthulhu. As they examine the object, six long needles pop out, and each person receives a text message reading "Blood of the Six" in Latin. The group rationalizes giving a drop of blood to the box which will give each of them what they desire most, though taking the object comes with a nice heaping side of demon possession.

"Oh my god, did we almost die? On the way to a will reading?" (Image provided courtesy of Vision Films)

"The Unwilling" was actually made a couple of years ago and has been running the film festival circuit in the interim. It has appeared at numerous horror movie festivals around the world. It is now set for its official U.S. release on VOD. This is a low budget supernatural horror thriller flick where reluctant hosts are possessed one by one by an evil spirit and are slowly killed off. It's a tale as old as time, so there's nothing particularly new here in terms of its story. The dialogue is a bit cheesy at times, and some of the line reading can be stiff here and there. The camerawork is both interesting and puzzling as some odd choices are made when the director is trying to convey feelings like confusion (for example, when one character is driving in a car, the camera spins like a record to communicate his frenzied attitude and mindset).

"I'm looking at you, bitch." (Image provided courtesy of Vision Films)

Despite some goofy dialogue and these strange technical choices, we actually had a pretty damn good time watching "The Unwilling." The story itself is engaging, and even in its familiarity, we liked seeing where it was going. As with many horror films, the narrative deals with underlying questions of morality. Many of the family members who are possessed first are battling serious demons of their own, like greed, vanity, lust, pride, self-destructive habits and so on. It is compelling to watch as these characters try to figure out what is going on, though the narrative is a bit repetitive at times.

"One, two, three, nothing to see." (Image provided courtesy of Vision Films)

Though "The Unwilling" has many flaws, we still wound up enjoying it for the most part. Our biggest gripe is that we could have used a little bit more Lance Henriksen.

**Vision Films is set to release Award-winning horror movie “The Unwilling” from Academy Award-nominated writer/director Jonathan Heap to DVD, Blu-ray and VOD on May 1st, 2018.**

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My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "Avengers: Infinity War" (2018)

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Movie: "Avengers: Infinity War"

Director: Anthony and Joe Russo
Year: 2018
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 29 minutes

The Mad Titan Thanos is closer than ever to finishing his quest to collect all six infinity stones and wiping out half of the world. Now, superheroes from all across the universe must come together to try and stop that from happening.

"Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same." (Image Source)

After 10 years and 19 movies, you'd think it might be hard for Marvel to live up to the expectations they have made to bring those movies and heroes together once and for all. Wouldn't you know it, they met (and at times even exceeded) every expectation we had. "Avengers: Infinity War" is directed by Anthony and Joe Russo, who have directed other Marvel films like "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" and "Captain America: Civil War." Considering those are two of the best entries in the MCU, we are happy to see them get the reigns of this film. The film is by both Stephen McFeely and Christopher Markus, who have written every "Captain America" movie in the franchise. This film stars just about every actor in the Marvel Universe with the exception of a select few (who shall remain nameless). "Avengers: Infinity War" brings the Mad Titan, Thanos (Josh Brolin), front and center as the supreme villain of the universe. On his own, he is extremely powerful, but he hopes to make himself unstoppable with the help of the six infinity stones (space, reality, time, soul, power, and mind), which have made numerous appearances throughout the series. Now, the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Wakandans, Spider-Man, and Doctor Strange must come together to try and stop Thanos from obtaining the stones.

"I'm sorry, Earth is closed today." (Image Source)

We expected "Avengers: Infinity War" to be big and bold, but we didn't anticipate it being this big and bold. By the end of the film, we sat with our mouths agape with what had just transpired. We were shooketh, to say the least. We can't mention specifics because we want to avoid spoilers, but let's just say it certainly lived up to the hype. This installment gave us what we wanted as both movie fans and as fans of the MCU: an epic flick of epic proportions. This is 110% a big picture film that must be seen on the biggest of screens.

"I'm beginning to think we should have stayed in bed." (Image Source)

Most of the relationships between characters have been explored and developed elsewhere, so you really can't go into "Infinity War" knowing nothing. You should have seen the previous 18 movies to fully understand all of the characters, their motivations, where they have been, who they are, and their relationship to one another. The exception to this is Thanos. He is a wonderfully developed villain and has an amazing presence each time he's on screen. He has been slowly introduced over the years, and this movie spends some additional time bulking up his character. We understand his motive, we know his ultimate goal, and we can surmise what he's willing to do to achieve it. Hell, he's even sympathetic for half a second.

"The world's on fire and you're asking for forgiveness?" (Image Source)

This story certainly results in a lot of heavy drama, but there's also a hefty dose of levity and humor from characters where it feels appropriate, not forced. It's bursting with great action, lots of well-choreographed fight sequences, fun interactions, intense sorrow, and dueling egos. "Avengers: Infinity War" is full of high stakes, is supremely exhilarating, and is emotionally moving. It ventures into dower territory from time to time, but every tonal shift is handled seamlessly. It met every expectation we had, and not because we expected what was going to happen (because we certainly didn't). This movie does not line up with the story we had in our heads at all. Still, we absolutely love what wound up on screen. It is amazing and is definitely worth watching multiple times.

My Rating: 9.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 9.5/10
IMDB's Rating: ~9.1/10
RT Rating: ~84%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

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Movie Review: "You Were Never Really Here" (2018)

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Movie: "You Were Never Really Here"

Director: Lynne Ramsay
Year: 2018
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

A combat veteran/former FBI agent named Joe now works as a private mercenary for hire that specializes in finding missing or abducted children and hurting the people who took them. His latest assignment may get him into a situation he was not expecting.

"If she's there, I'll get here." (Image Source)

It's hammer time! We mean that literally. With a ball-peen hammer. "You Were Never Really Here" is written and directed by Lynne Ramsay, who is best known for her film "We Need to Talk About Kevin." Her latest venture is based on the novel of the same name by Jonathan Ames. It tells the story of Joe (Joaquin Phoenix), a veteran and former FBI agent who had an abusive childhood and suffers from PTSD. He looks a bit shady on the outside, and at first, we weren't sure what to make of him as a character. It turns out that Joe is a vigilante for hire who specializes in finding missing children and hurting those who took them or are abusing them. Joe is hired by a state senator to find his missing daughter but is unaware that this job is about to get him tangled in a conspiracy and will take him to places he never expected.

"You don't have to do that." (Image Source)

When you hear or read the plot of "You Were Never Really Here," it's easy to see that in the hands of some directors or producers, a project like this could easily be turned into another "Taken" film, a Liam Neeson, Jason Statham, or Keanu Reeves action vehicle with mass crowd appeal. At its most reductive, this movie is about an ex-military man who busts open the heads of kidnappers, human traffickers, and child molesters. It's really Lynne Ramsay's handling of the material that takes it from a run-of-the-mill action flick to a much more raw, gritty thriller.

"Don't look." (Image Source)

Joaquin Phoenix is perfect for the role of Joe. His performance really helps the audience believe that he is a man who has had a lot of pain in his life and has seen some terrible things. We can see that anguish and agony in his eyes, on his face and in the way he carries himself. On the other hand, there is also a clear tenderness to Joe as a person. He aids and cares for his elderly mother, and he also carefully handles helping the children he looks for and finds. Joe is not a perfect savior. He is a flawed hero who is constantly battling his own demons. Phoenix gives a powerful, quiet, haunting, and haunted performance. It's hard to take your eyes off of him, even when he's bashing skulls and drowning people.

Another element that aided our enjoyment of this movie is its sound and score, composed by Oscar nominee Jonny Greenwood. The auditory elements help support the unnerving, uncomfortable nature of the material. It's one of those film scores that you feel in every scene because of its pulsating, almost claustrophobic sound. There are two specific scenes where this is most apparent. The first scene is one that involves someone's face and a pair of pliers and the second is comprised of security camera footage. Coupled with Ramsay's interesting camerawork, these scenes help to elevate the project as a whole.

"I want you to hurt them." (Image Source)

"You Were Never Really Here" is one of the best movies we have seen this year. It has some thematic aspects that can be hard to watch and difficult to handle, but it is a film that will stick with you long after the credits are finished rolling. Aided by Lynne Ramsay's immersive and compelling direction, Joaquin Phoenix's transfixing performance makes this a must-see.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.0/10
RT Rating: 86%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

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Movie Review: "Lean on Pete" (2018)

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Movie: "Lean on Pete"

Director: Andrew Haigh
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 1 minute

A teenager named Charley gets a job working for a racehorse owner. After a tragedy happens,  Charley learns that his boss is going to sell his favorite horse, Lean on Pete, to a butcher in Mexico, so he decides to steal the horse and head to Wyoming to find his aunt.

Charley with dad. (Image Source)

Just remember kids, when an authority figure tells you to "wait right here" so they can get you some help, your best course of action is always to run away when their back is turned. "Lean on Pete" is written and directed by Andrew Haigh, who is best known for directing the film "45 Years." It is based on the novel of the same name by Willy Vlautin. It stars Charlie Plummer as Charley, a fifteen-year-old boy who lives with his single father (Travis Fimmel), who is Charley's good buddy but is not much of a father figure. They move around a lot and have most recently settled down in Portland, Oregon out of the shadow of the city. With little money coming in, Charley begins working for a racehorse owner named Del (Steve Buscemi). While working there, Charley becomes very attached to an aging quarter-horse named Lean on Pete. In a bad place after a tragedy occurs, Charley learns that Del plans to sell Lean on Pete to a butcher in Mexico. Doing the only possible thing there is left to do, Charley decides to steal the horse and head for Wyoming to find his estranged aunt, who had a falling out with his father many years ago.

Charley with Pete. (Image Source)

This is the second film we have seen by Andrew Haigh. Like most independent directors, he seems to specialize in slowly paced human stories. When a character needs to take a long walk from one place to another, most directors will truncate these scenes since we know what's going to happen. Not Andrew Haigh, he shows us the whole damn journey with no cutaways. "Lean on Pete" is the definition of the saying "it's not the destination, it's the journey." Who needs dialogue when we can have silent moments of introspection set against a panoramic and vast prairie landscape that people will mistake for good cinematography? Haigh and cinematographer Magnus Nordenhof Jønck do apply an interesting fly-on-the-wall observational style as some shots are partially or completely obstructed by doorways or large trucks. Sometimes this technique is cool looking because it's not something we see too often in cinema. Other times, this technique can feel coldly observational and almost clinical at times, detached from the characters as if the lens of the camera were being used to study them like scientists rather than experiencing their journey.

Charley with Pete. (Image Source)

As for the story itself, it is a simple character sketch about a teenage boy who goes through some of life's most difficult obstacles. It shows how he deals with and attempts to come through his terrible situation. You could call it coming-of-age, but we didn't see much of a character arc in Charley. He goes through several trials and tribulations, though these situations feel like they are just the story of his whole life and not a character arc. He is a good and decent person from the beginning of the film to the end of it, though he has had to do some not-so-good-and-often-illegal things to make it through the days in an attempt to get to his aunt. Luckily, Charlie Plummer gives a wonderful dramatic performance, so it's not a total loss.

Charley with Bonnie. (Image Source)

"Lean on Pete" is almost a tale of two films. It became less and less interesting as it moved along its runtime, and it even got tedious and laborious towards the end of it. Del and Bonnie (Chloë Sevigny), the most intriguing characters, both vanished by the middle of the film, leaving us with only Charley, Pete, and the passing acres of rural Oregon to fill the time. Towards the end of the film, we found ourselves fidgeting in our seats as it couldn't keep our interest. For a movie with such high critical praise, we once again found ourselves disappointed with this offering. We had more of an emotional reaction from both "Homeward Bound" movies.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 90%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

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Movie Review: "The Polka King" (2017)

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Movie: "The Polka King"

Director: Maya Forbes
Year: 2017
Rating: TV-14
Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

The story of Jan Lewan, a polka musician who ran a Ponzi scheme out of his knick-knack shop in Pensylvania.

(Image Source)

Criminal fraud and white color crime are soOoOoOoOo hilarious. At least that's what the makers of the Netflix original "The Polka King" hope you'll believe, though it does sort of help that the criminal in question is a polka musician. "The Polka King" is written and directed by Maya Forbes and Wallace Wolodarsky. Forbes is known for directing "Infinitely Polar Bear" and Wolodarsky is known for directing "Sorority Boys." This is the first time the two have worked together as co-directors on a project, though they have worked together as writers numerous times in the past on films like "A Dog's Purpose," and "Monsters vs. Aliens." The film stars Jack Black as Jan Lewan, a Pennsylvania polka sensation who immigrated to the United States from Poland. Joining him are Jenny Slate as Jan's wife Marla, Jacki Weaver as Jan's mother-in-law Barb, and Jason Schwartzman as his bandmate Mickey Pizzazz. Jan has a dream of making it huge as a globally recognized polka musician (if such a thing even exists) but is struggling to get by and can't even pay his bills. He and his wife own a knick-knack shop that is also failing. To make money, Jan starts taking "investments," promising his investors a guaranteed 13% return on whatever money they invest in the Jan Lewan brand. People give Jan money thinking that they are investing in a business venture. In actuality, he is running a massive Ponzi scheme that helps him live large, tour with his band and run his shop, none of which turn a profit.

(Image Source)

A good alternate title for "The Polka King" could be "The Wolf of W. Broad Street." Unlike Scorsese's biting dark comedy, this film doesn't quite have the social commentary, nor does it have a scathing indictment of the actions of its protagonist. One-time Grammy award nominee Jan Lewan is treated like a loveable goof who simply had too much self-confidence and ambition when really, he was a duplicitous, smarmy schemer. The script plays him as a naive Polish immigrant who doesn't have any idea of how many things, including businesses, actually work. The film often acts like Jan isn't intentionally scamming people, but rather is just an innocent guy who truly believes people's investments will pay off.

(Image Source)

Most the humor comes from the fact Jan is a polka musician as the movie pokes fun at the very idea that there could ever be such a thing as a "polka star" or that anyone would willingly listen to polka music. Weird Al says hello. Beyond that, the rest of the humor consists of Jack Black being Jack Black but with a bad Polish accent. He sings, he dances around, he makes funny faces, you know, the typical Jack Black fare. Jacki Weaver gets to be the stereotypical hard-nosed, disapproving mother-in-law who believes her son-in-law is a worthless loser and that allowing him to pursue his dream will only lead to ruin. In this case, she is actually right. Jenny Slate plays the supportive wife who grows increasingly jealous of her husband's perceived success, which may lead to being his final downfall. Then there's Jason Schwartzman, who once again plays to type with his deadpan style of sarcastic humor and wry delivery. He needed to be in more of the movie.

(Image Source)

There are some things to like about "The Polka King." It does produce an occasional laugh. The story, on the other hand, isn't that gripping. The characters aren't as compelling as they could have been. We don't care for how the story paints Jan Lewan as a loveable dork instead of the cunning polka fraudster he really was. This is a mixed bag for us.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.9/10
RT Rating: 59%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

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Movie Review: "We Need to Talk About Kevin" (2011)

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Movie: "We Need to Talk About Kevin"

Director: Lynne Ramsay
Year: 2011
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes

A mother struggles with how much responsibility she should bare for her son's unthinkable actions.

"We Need to Talk About Kevin" is directed by Lynn Ramsay, who helped write the screenplay with Rory Stewart Kinnear. It is based on the novel of the same name by Lionel Shriver. The film stars Tilda Swinton as Eva, a mother who has been dealing with an unspeakable atrocity committed by her son. She has been ostracized by her community and often contemplates how much blame she carries. Joining her is John C. Reilly as Eva's husband Franklin, as well as Ezra Miller, Jasper Newell, and Rock Duer, who all play the titular Kevin at different stages of his life.

(Image Source)

BigJ and I have a system for picking our "for fun" movies. We alternate between his pick and my pick. It's not that unique, but it keeps things fair, you know? Typically, I choose films I've always heard were great but haven't ever watched. I try to go into movies knowing as little as possible. Let's just say I'm going to start reading plot summaries from now on.

(Image Source)

There are several things to like about "We Need to Talk About Kevin." It is striking to look at and is superbly directed by Lynne Ramsay. It extremely well acted. Tilda Swinton gives an exuberantly strong performance as Eva as she explores the character through numerous different times in her life. She goes from being a fun-loving world traveler/writer to being a mother and having a difficult time with parenthood. From there, she quickly turns into a social pariah. Eva becomes an outcast through almost no fault of her own. Really, her only crime was having a child at all. Her son Kevin is essentially the anti-christ. He is eviler than Damien in "The Omen." He lacks any empathy and is a complete psychopath. By the time the character is a toddler, the audience has already grown to completely hate him. Yes, it may sound harsh despising a young child, but seriously, some kids are just assholes, and Kevin is certainly one of them. The fact that Kevin is so evil is part of the problem with this movie. When dealing with a subject matter so dark, it's an oversimplification to just say that the kid is simply pure evil. There weren't environmental factors or other explanations, Kevin is just an abomination who is looking to do harm to others the second he pops into the world. We think this is somewhat detrimental to the overall theme of the movie. Eva is supposed to look back on what she did wrong as a parent, but the answer, in this case, is absolutely nothing. She just wound up with a bad egg, the worst egg, for a son. We know that some people in this world are truly just evil people who want to harm whoever they can.

(Image Source)

"We Need to Talk About Kevin" is utterly depressing in every conceivable way. We feel like this movie is a lesson in cinematic masochism. It's one of those films that exists to see how much heartbreak, sorrow, and dysfunction the audience can handle. It's unbearable and exhausting to watch, even with stellar performances from Tilda Swinton and Ezra Miller in tow. This is a depressing (though well made) sight from beginning to end.

My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.5/10
RT Rating: 76%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "Landline" (2017)

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Movie: "Landline"

Director: Gillian Robespierre
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 37 minutes

A look at the lives of the members of one family living in New York in 1995 as relationship drama causes contention between them.

We feel like we say this a lot, but it's the truth: intimate slice-of-life dramas and independent filmmaking go hand in hand, almost to the point that it's now a cliche. This flick is directed by Gillian Robespierre, who previously made a gem of a movie called "Obvious Child," starring Jenny Slate. We thoroughly enjoyed that picture, so we wanted to seek out Robespierre's second feature film to see if it would be as good as her first. "Landline" revolves around the Jacobs family, who live in Manhattan in 1995. Pat (Edie Falco) and Alan (John Turturro) have a teenage daughter named Ali (Abbie Quinn), who specializes in being a combative, rebellious teen. Ali has an older sister named Dana (Jenny Slate), who isn't always around since she's living with her fiance Ben (Jay Duplass). Ali doesn't really get along with her sister or her mother. The only person she gets along with is her father, but these relationships change when Ali learns that Alan has been unfaithful to her mom. Drugs, spying, insanity, and hilarity ensue, and all without the assistance of cell phones or the internet.

Without cell phones and the internet, people actually had to physically leave the house to spy on others. (Image Source)

Slice-of-life dramas are so prevalent that it's now hard for each film to stand out in an already overcrowded genre. What it really boils down to is, do we, the audience, care about the characters and the situations we are presented with? Do we feel these characters are worthy of our time and attention? In the case of "Landline," unfortunately, the answer is mostly no. Infidelity is one of the most frequent threads and biggest tropes in cinema, not just in independent films, but in all Hollywood stories (particularly romances). When it really comes down to it, this film doesn't do much to separate itself from the pack. The characters aren't all that likable. The situations they go through are ones we have seen time and time again, even several times this year. Luckily, not all is lost as the acting is solid for the most part. We really like Jenny Slate and think she is a very funny, talented actress. She is definitely the strongest part of the film for us. Edie Falco and John Turturro also do a good job as a married couple with a dam's worth of distance between them.

Bonding with cigarettes. (Image Source)

Don't get us wrong, nothing is the matter with any of the technical aspects of "Landline." It is just a story we have seen before, and there's only so many different ways to tell it. Overall, the story just isn't that engaging or interesting. In the end, apart from a couple of sparse funny moments and an eventually loving exploration of a sisterly bond during a time of familial crisis, "Landline" falls in line with dozens of other forgettable movies just like it.

My Rating: 5.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5.5/10
IMDB's Rating: ~6.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~74%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

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Movie Review: "Happy Anniversary" (2018)

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Movie: "Happy Anniversary"

Director: Jared Stern
Year: 2018
Rating: TV-MA
Running Time: 1 hour, 18 minutes

A couple contemplates their past three years together on their anniversary as they are uncertain about the future and whether or not they should stay together.

"What a weird day, right?" (Image Source)

If you like movies about couples who argue a lot, "Happy Anniversary" may be the perfect film for you! This project is written and directed by Jared Stern. The film serves as his directorial debut, though he does have numerous writing credits on movies like "The Watch," "The Internship," and most recently, "The LEGO Batman Movie." It stars Ben Schwartz and Noël Wells as Sam and Mollie, who have been together for a few years. The entirety of the movie takes place on their three year anniversary. The two see themselves at hitting a milestone in their relationship, and both have different ways of dealing with it. Sam believes it might be time to commit, and Mollie thinks it may be time to move on since she's not sure if Sam is "the one." When Sam serves Mollie breakfast in bed, an argument breaks out, and the two start fighting about things that have happened over the course of the last three years. They proceed to quarrel all day about whether or not their relationship has lost its spark.

"I'm sorry my feelings don't line up with your emotions." (Image Source)

Films about couples who fight are quite common, especially in independent cinema. Sometimes, this topic works very well, like in Richard Linklater's movie "Before Sunset" (the pinnacle of "arguing cinema"). Sometimes, this subject translates very poorly to celluloid. A lot of the success or failure of a movie like this depends on the lead actors and whether or not they are charming or grating. Also, if the movie is a dramedy like "Happy Anniversary," is there enough humor to balance out the arguments? If there is humor, does it feel like it fits in the story, or it is misplaced? Luckily for this story, the saltiness works most of the time, and lead actors Noël Wells and Ben Schwartz offer two well-rounded performances. Both Wells and Schwartz are experienced comedic actors and they both have great delivery when it comes to uttering witty remarks and stinging jabs. That being said, they can both be borderline maddening, unreasonable, and unrealistic at times. The supporting cast is super funny as well. Rahul Kohli gets a few scene-stealing moments to shine, as does Kristin Bauer van Straten, who does a fantastic job delivering a completely deadpan style.

"I just want the perfect version of imperfectness." (Image Source)

Not everything about "Happy Anniversary" clicked for us. The pacing feels really slow at times. The story constantly drags and becomes a bit repetitive about midway through the film. On the flip side, its runtime is really short, clocking in just 78 minutes in length. Because of this, the slow pacing doesn't become detrimental to the overall experience, and it doesn't turn it into a boring slog. If it were 10 minutes longer, it might have been a problem. Hell, maybe it feels long because two people are fighting and arguing for the entire duration of its runtime. As a married couple who reviews movies, this is not the best subject matter to watch together in the spirit of cinematic discourse. Still, we did find a lot to enjoy about this quirky little romance that's not wholly romantic.

"You're so worried about everybody else that you don't give a shit about the one person who's supposed to matter most. (Image Source)

In the end, "Happy Anniversary" isn't a phenomenal flick, but it's a solid offering to the "couples arguing" genre. Wells and Schwartz keep it interesting and quirky enough so the audience won't be entirely irritated by the fact that they are bickering for 78 minutes.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.6/10
RT Rating: 80%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

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Movie Review: "Super Troopers 2" (2018)

Image Source

Movie: "Super Troopers 2"

Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Year: 2018
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hours, 40 minutes

The former members of the Vermont highway patrol reunite when it is discovered that a small part of Canada is actually on American soil. Now, the once-defunct team of state troopers are back to show Canada how Americans enforce the law of the land.

"You can say 'queefing' on Canadian TV? What a country!" (Image Source)

It has been 17 years since the original "Super Troopers" was released. Now, the crowd-funded sequel is finally in the hands of the masses. We wonder if those who donated to this project will think it was worth the wait, and more importantly, worth the money they invested once they see this final product. "Super Troopers 2" is directed by Jay Chandrasekhar, who also directed the original "Super Troopers," as well as other Broken Lizard releases like "Club Dread" and "Beerfest." The movie is written by and stars the Broken Lizard crew, including the aforementioned Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme, Erik Stolhanske, Paul Soter, and Kevin Heffernan. These gentlemen once again play the unruly members of the Vermont highway patrol: Thorny, Mac, Rabbit, Foster, and of course, Farva. The team has been out of the law enforcement game for a while. Governor Jessman (Lynda Carter) learns that part of Canada actually belongs to the United States and is about to become part of her state of Vermont. So, she makes the obvious choice to rehire the old crew to help with the transition process... seriously, what other option did she have?! Captain O'Hagan (Brian Cox) and the other members of the Vermont highway patrol must do their best to act as good ambassadors and show Canada how Americans enforce the law.

"You're probably gonna tell us NOT to listen to Rush anymore, or the Barenaked Ladies!"(Image Source)

I've heard people online say that if you are a fan of the original "Super Troopers," you are probably a dude-bro. Besides being a stupid and sweeping generalization, as a 31-year-old woman, I can tell you that this is not factually accurate. The first film meant a lot to me in my youth. It was popular amongst my group of friends, and BigJ and I have watched it several times together as well. To this day, we still quote it often. We have dozens upon dozens of fond memories about this movie. Despite this, we had low expectations for the sequel. The trailers were lackluster. The Broken Lizard crew hasn't made a worthwhile movie in over a decade. As with most long-oft sequels, we were worried "Super Troopers 2" wouldn't be anywhere near as good as the original. Our expectations, however, were shattered...............and not in a good way.

"What's 80 km/hr in English?" (Image Source)

"Super Troopers 2" is far worse than we could have ever imagined. It is painfully unfunny. The movie is full of tired and recycled callbacks, jokes about dicks, jokes about vaginas, and jokes about French people, Canadian people, and French-Canadian people. When the squad isn't ribbing on Canadian accents, they are making fun of how Canadians love hockey and pancakes, as if that's never been done before in a comedy. When the group isn't busy mocking people who are French-Canadian, they are finding ways to fit the word "RAMROD" and words that rhyme with "(va)gine" into every single sentence. The new characters, Canadian Mounties Archambault, Podien, and Bellefuille (Will Sasso, Hayes MacArthur, and Tyler Labine) make gags about how Americans are fat, lazy, and obnoxious, so much so that they drive around in wheelchairs because they are fat, lazy, and obnoxious. Oh, and there is a running joke about how women are emotionally unstable, impulsive, overly hormonal, and lactate from their breasts. Shocker! Any stereotypical joke you can think of about obese people, cops, women, or people from America, Canada, Mexico, Japan, or France is probably included in this script, just in case you thought this movie was released only a year after the original and assumed we all still have the same sense of humor that we had in 2001. Most of the jokes fall tortuously flat. We chuckled three or four times, but these titters came few and far between, and these laughs were never caused by running jokes or callbacks. The story itself is boring and predictable. While comedies are notorious for having massively thin plots, we can overlook any shortage of story if the material is funny enough. We can tolerate a bad script if the humor's right, but when the jokes are so bad that you feel embarrassed for sitting in a way-too-crowded-for-10-am showing, it would be nice to have a decent narrative to fall back on.

This picture of the cast of "Super Troopers 2" is funnier than "Super Troopers 2." (Image Source)

We wish we could recommend "Super Troopers 2," but we just can't. If you are feeling nostalgic for the antics of the guys from the Vermont highway patrol, skip this sequel and rewatch the original. Our question to hardcore fans of the first movie is: are you willing to accept such a boring, bloated, forced, and even more juvenile follow-up after all this time? We're not just going to give something a pass because we love its source material, and it was a borderline agony to get through this film.

My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.0/10
RT Rating: ~32%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

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