Sunday, March 24, 2019

Movie Review: "The Dirt" (2019)

The Dirt 2019 Netflix Film Mötley Crüe movie poster
Image Source
Movie"The Dirt"
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Year: 2019
Rating: TV-MA
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes

A look at the lives and careers of the members of Mötley Crüe.

The Dirt 2019 Netflix movie Machine Gun Kelly Douglas Booth Daniel Webber Iwan Rheon
"Shitty music, 9 times out of 10, shitty band." (Image Source)
You know what's metal as shit? UMLAUTS!!!!!!! \m/ Big hair, tight spandex, sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll is a quick summary of everything you'll find in Netflix's latest original film "The Dirt." This biopic is directed by Jeff Tremaine, who is best known as the director of films like "Jackass: The Movie," "Jackass Number Two," and "Bad Grandpa." It is written by Amanda Adelson, and this is her first feature writing credit. The screenplay is by Rich Wilkes, who is known for writing movies like "Airheads" and "xXx," and the whole thing is based on the book by the members Mötley Crüe and Neil Strauss. As you may have gathered, "The Dirt" tells the story of hair metal stadium rockers Mötley Crüe from the childhood of Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth) to the band's formation and rise to stardom. It covers all of the darkest points in the band member's lives, including drug addiction, family problems, health issues, legal troubles, and personal losses.
Jim Carrey looking through glasses at the Golden Globes gif
When Ozzy Osbourne licks up not one but TWO puddles of urine. (Image Source)
When "The Dirt" begins, it shows how Mötley Crüe's apartment was down the street from Whisky a Go Go where they started their career. Their performance is accompanied by a raucous party full of drugs and drinking where members of the band set things ablaze. There is a copious amount of nudity and a rather graphic orgasm scene following the performance of oral sex on a fan of the band. These are the kinds of shenanigans you're in for during this movie, and honestly, did you expect anything else? Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil (Daniel Webber), Mick Mars (Iwan Rheon), and Tommy Lee (Machine Gun Kelly) will be quick to remind you several times that they're "the kings," "a gang of fucking idiots," "win or lose it all, we're Motley fuckin' Crue," etc. They so desperately want you to know how truly rock 'n' roll they are/were/will be. The film plays out like a highlight reel of the band's most highly publicized, well known moments. It talks about their biggest hits and their lowest lows, how they destroyed hotel rooms for fun, how Nikki Sixx overdosed and then kept doing heroin, how they toured with Ozzy Osbourne and how he snorted ants and lapped up piss off of the ground not once but twice BECAUSE HE'S ~*SoO hArDcOrE,~* how Vince Neil killed someone in a drunk driving accident and got a manslaughter conviction but only did 15 days of his 30 day sentence for "good behavior" (the justice system, right?), how Tommy Lee was married to Heather Locklear (though most other details of their relationship are left out), and it also covers Mick Mars's degenerative spine disease just in case you forgot he was also in the band. This movie can be entertaining at times. Just to reiterate, it's a rock 'n' roll road trip biopic loaded with sex and fighting and booze and quips about how awesome it is to be bad and how everyone wanted to party with the band, so how could it not be fun from time to time? It's set to a soundtrack of Motley Crue's hit songs, most of which we really like, so again, what's not to enjoy? Oh yeah, everything else. "The Dirt" can't escape the fact that it feels like a musician-focused episode of an overly melodramatic television show like "One Tree Hill." It has a VH1/(formerly)Spike TV movie of the week vibe, and not in a good way. Whenever the story calls for any type of nuance or somber reflection, it comes off as forced and unnatural because the actors and director aren't capable enough to sell the emotion these moments should have had. They want the audience to empathize and feel sad in these instances, but unfortunately, they fall flat. Some even made us laugh, and there's no way we should have chuckled while a father was crying about his sick kid, but the acting in this particular scene is so ham-fisted that we just couldn't help it. 
Javier Bardem Queen Latifah dancing at the 2019 Academy Awards Oscars gif
When "Kickstart My Heart" comes on the radio. (Image Source)
Though there are some moments of entertainment and fun to be found in "The Dirt," overall, it falls short of being something we would consider a worthwhile watch. We're not sure if Motley Crue fans will be disappointed or not because it doesn't give an exceedingly in-depth look at anything other than Crue's most notorious headlines. There are other, better music biopics out there, so we say watch any of those instead unless you're already a massive Motley Crue fan.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.2/10
RT Rating: ~45%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

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