Movie Review: "Free Birds" (2013)

Movie: "Free Birds"
Director: Jimmy Hayward
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 31 minutes

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Turkeys are mindless, thoughtless creatures who blissfully sit and wait for their own slaughter. Reggie (Owen Wilson), who actually has his own thoughts, is the year's pardoned turkey when the president's young daughter takes a liking to him. He is living the dream at Camp David: pizzas every night, cozy slippers, TV...until he gets turkey-napped by Jake (Woody Harrelson), who is on a mission to go back in time to stop Thanksgiving from featuring turkeys on the menu. In the time machine called S.T.E.V.E (George Takei), the two travel back in time and meet up with the native turkeys, including Jenny (Amy Poehler), who catches Reggie's fancy. Together, they take on Myles Standish (Colm Meaney) to keep him from capturing all the turkeys and making them the main course at the impending Thanksgiving feast.

To answer the question above, yes, we went to a kids movie early. Because we went with actual kids! We went with BigJ's brother and our niece and nephew to see this movie on Saturday afternoon.

While the outing itself was fun, this movie was mediocre at best. This movie might have the largest product placement with Chuck-E-Cheese since FedEx in "Cast Away".

Owen Wilson really needs to learn to aim higher when picking his roles for movies. The best part of this movie was S.T.E.V.E., voiced by the ever-fabulous George Takei, that sassy man that he is. Pretty much all of the funny jokes in the film were featured in the trailer. You can't dive too deep into a plot with this movie since it's absurd and the film knows it's absurd.

The kids didn't even really care about this movie very much and weren't overly thrilled, and if you can't impress kids, who can you impress??? We might be being a little bit sensitive, but was this movies mildly racist? At all? To anyone? I don't know...whatever. This movie didn't make an impact and will probably not impress very many people in general.

PS: BigJ's half brother's uncle does the voice for Chief Massasoit. #CoolStoryBro

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 23%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.