Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "Rubber" (2010)

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Movie: "Rubber"
Director: Quentin Dupieux
Year: 2010
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

As spectators watch through binoculars, a tire named Robert goes on a murderous rampage through the desert.

"All great films, without exception, contain an important element of no reason."

If you were confused and thought you read the synopsis wrong, don't be confused, you read it perfectly correct.

This movie is about a tire, yes, a car tire, who murders things telepathically.

The concept of this movie is really interesting and pretty far out there. A premise like this piqued our interest. Unfortunately, this film could have been so much better. It tries really hard to do something unexpected and clever, but it winds up being silly and experimental to a detriment. There were a couple of lines where we laughed out loud, but other than those few times, we pretty much just sat there looking at one another with blank expressions on our faces. We're all for experimental, but this was just weird.

As far as the length of the movie, though it's only 82 minutes, a movie where 3/4 of the scenes are dedicated to a tire rolling though the desert feels like it drags. It's like the filmmakers were sitting in their houses stoned one night and thought it would be hilarious to write a movie about an inanimate object that murders things. A person taking a shower and watching TV just isn't funny...but a tire watching TV and taking a shower...GENIUS!

Overall, this offbeat slasher comedy just wasn't our cup of tea, though it could have been and we're open to more movies like this...maybe if we were high it would have been better (but we don't get high, LOL).

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 68%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "Hachi: A Dog's Tale" (2009)

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Movie: "Hachi: A Dog's Tale"
Director: Lasse Hallstrom
Year: 2009
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 33 minutes

Professor Parker Wilson (Richard Gere) finds an Akita puppy at the train station and takes it home in order to locate its owners. Much to the chagrin of his wife Cate (Joan Allen), Parker becomes more and more attached to the dog. Since no one comes to claim the dog, Parker eventually convinces his wife to let him keep it. Parker and Hachi create a great bond and become almost inseparable, except for the times when Parker has to go to work. He takes the same train to work and the same train home every day. Hachi learns what train Parker comes home on and without fail is there every day to greet him, no matter what happens. 

If the dog's name is in the movie, guess what you'll be doing at some point during the film?? ~*CRYING~*

The story itself is pretty simple and has been done before, but this isn't a terrible movie, it just feels a little bit long. It may have had more impact if it had been done as more of a short film as opposed to a feature-length movie. Since this movie is loosely based on a true story from Japan, it does help its cause a little bit, but the movie seems to be whitewashed like many Hollywood productions. It wasn't even featured on the big screen in America, and we watched this on the recommendation of a friend. I seemed to enjoy it a little bit more than BigJ did, but I paid more attention to it...it was just sort of background noise for him.

I love my dog, so maybe that's why I gave it the rating that I did, maybe that's why I gave it a higher review than BigJ did. If anything happened to my little Freddo Potato, I would be devastated, just as many pet owners would be if their furry friends perished. It's always remarkable to hear a story about a dog's unwavering devotion to its owner. Dogs are capable of so much more than we know. They truly are a person's best friend. Beyond this, all in all, the story was pretty basic and the acting was okay, but would we watch it again? Probably not. It's sort of one of those "watch it once and move on" types of filler films. Dog owners who love sappy stories, keep the tissues handy.

My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 62%
Do we recommend this movie: BigJ says meh, I say sure, why not?

Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "Cutie and the Boxer" (2013)

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Movie: "Cutie and the Boxer"
Director: Zachary Heinzerling
Year: 2013
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

Ushio and Noriko Shinohara are a husband and wife who reflect on their lives as aging professional artists. Ushio, in his younger years, was a fairly renowned artist and has had his works displayed in numerous museums. At the same time, Noriko was a student who became infatuated with the much older Ushio, but still had artistic aspirations of her own. Noriko begins growing tired of her art taking a back seat to Ushio and has felt that she has sacrificed her own ambitions for him. She now uses her art to tell of their struggles over their 40 year marriage. Her drawings, turned into cartoons over the course of this documentary, cover how they met and how she paid for everything early on in the relationship while he worked on his art. They also display Ushio’s battles with alcoholism, the birth of their son, and their constant struggles with money. Yet even after years of turmoil, they still love each other deeply.

What a unique documentary! Not only is this an inside look into the lives of two artists, but also a look into what it's like to be part of a long-lasting relationship. Ushio and Noriko go through the motions of life while exploring their pain, suffering, happiness, struggle, and ambition through painting and art. Though Ushio has been an accomplished artist for many years with some great recognition, the couple still struggled to pay their bills and keep their studio afloat. We come to understand Noriko's plight in dealing with an alcoholic husband and son whom she still loves dearly, as well as constantly living professionally in her husband's shadow. Her illustrations are rather fascinating and show the story of their life together, even delving into not just their emotional relationship, but their sexual one as well. These illustrations run through the movie and provide a nice break between interviews with Noriko and Ushio themselves. It's very much a human story that can touch all people, not just those who have an interest in the art world. Zachary Heinzerling took his time crafting this film and really seems to have gotten it right. He shows not only their happy times and their professional rivalry, but also captures the complacency of their long-term relationship, as well as the bitterness that they may have for each other at times. The bottom line, in the end, is that this movie manages to show what it's like to love. While "20 Feet from Stardom" was also a great documentary and deserved recognition, this one does as well. This is a film you simply shouldn't miss.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 96%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!

Movie Review: "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (2006)

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Movie: "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"
Director: Larry Charles
Year: 2006
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 24 minutes 

In order to help the struggling economy of Kazakhstan, local television personality Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen) is sent to America, along with his producer Azamat (Ken Davitian), to learn about and film a report on "the greatest country in the world." He is sent to New York to interview unsuspecting people about America and capture real reactions to his ridiculous persona. One night in a hotel, Borat catches a rerun of Baywatch and becomes totally infatuated with Pamela Anderson. He lies to his producer in order to take the production on the road to California to meet Pamela. During his trip, he gets into many crazy situations and continues to wreak havoc on trusting people, pushing their patience to the absolute limit.

This mockumentary is hilarious and beyond outrageous. Some might even call it downright offensive. Sasha Baron Cohen does with his Borat character what he has been famous for for years: annoying the crap out of unsuspecting people while pushing them to their absolute limits. For some reason, as an audience, BigJ and I found this quite entertaining. Most of the hilarity comes from people's perceived cultural differences between us (Americans) and Borat (Kazakhstanian? Kazakhstanish?). Because of these cultural differences, a lot of people are willing to let him get away with things that would normally get others punched in the face or thrown in jail overnight. There's no bones about it: Borat is racist, sexist, homophobic, and borderline demented, and this movie is DEFINITELY not for everyone, but we enjoy putting it on once every couple of years to remind ourselves not just how funnily offensive Baron Cohen can be, but how ridiculous people in our own country can be, too. This movie is definitely not safe for work or for kids or for anyone with a strong moral compass, and we realize many people find this movie stupid, but that's okay because we enjoy it.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 95%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

Movie Review: "How to Train Your Dragon 2" (2014)

Movie: "How to Train Your Dragon 2"
Director: Dean DeBlois
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

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We return to the small coastal viking village of Berk. Berk is not like most viking town because they have dragons! These dragons are kept by the vikings as friends and pets thanks to the efforts and teachings of Hiccup (Jay Baruchel), the son of Stoic (Gerard Butler), chief of Berk. Stoic is starting to think it's time for him to step down as chief and wants to appoint Hiccup to take his place. Hiccup is unsure he wants all of this responsibility and is still trying to find himself. Hiccup spends his days frequently flying around on his Night Fury dragon named Toothless to explore uncharted areas. During one of these outings, Hiccup comes across a group of dragon trappers who are capturing specimens for a man named Drago (Djimon Hounsou), who says he controls all dragons and is hellbent on grabbing all the power he can. Hiccup must find a way to stop Drago and save the dragons with help of his father and friends, including a new, mysterious person known as The Dragon Rider (Cate Blanchett). 

THE TEARS, MAN, THE TEARS!!!!!!!!!

This is another worthy sequel! That makes two so far this summer, which is extremely rare. "How to Train Your Dragon 2" is just as great as the original story. It is still fun and exciting, but also has some scenes that will tug at your heartstrings. The addition of several new characters makes for an interesting. First, there's Eret (Kit Harrington), a dragon trapper who is provides great comic relief throughout the movie and ends up the butt of many misfortunes. Along the way, he finds himself questioning what is right and wrong in the world of keeping versus catching dragons. Drago is an awesome villain who is steadfast in his ways and doesn't seem to be able to be reasoned with. And of course, The Dragon Rider, AKA Valka, AKA Hiccup's mom, is more than she seems and is one with the dragons.

The whole theme of self-discovery and finding a balance between your traits is a central focus in this sequel. It's interesting to note that Hiccup has qualities of both his mother and his father: he is patient and kind like his mom (which she is to a fault), but is also brave when he needs to be and puts others before himself like his dad (which Stoic does to a fault). Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Drago, who cannot and will not compromise what he believes and what he thinks he knows for anyone or anything, regardless of who he hurts. The message we saw here was that not just kids, but people in general, should not be afraid to admit when they are wrong, and that it's okay to be strong AND gentle, as well as compromising AND unwavering in their beliefs. Finding the balance is what's important. People should always challenge the impossible, even when it looks like there's no way to win.

On the down-side, Jay Baurchel's voice didn't get any less annoying in 4 years. All in all, just as good as its predecessor, and we cannot wait for the third installment in this series!

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 92%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "Night Moves" (2013)

Movie: "Night Moves"
Director: Kelly Reichardt
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes

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A trio of environmental activists, in an effort to do their part in changing the world, plan and execute the bombing of a dam and deal with the subsequent fallout and paranoia of their actions.

Okay, we get it. We love Earth just as much as the next people on this planet. Maybe we don't always do our 100% part, but we have done little things to facilitate "going green." Hey, we recycle, man! It's tough, I'm not gonna lie, because sometimes it feels like our efforts don't matter when we see that our neighbors don't recycle, but we'd never think to go blow up their trash cans in protest of their actions.

Acts of eco-terrorism are just that: terrorism. Just because the people in this movie are trying to help the Earth doesn't negate their immoral actions. At the end of the day, it's all the same terrorism regardless of the ideology behind it.

It's not even the fact that the characters don't understand the severity of their actions, or that they seem completely ignorant to what they are trying to do that makes this movie suck. Its that we don't give a shit about any of the people involved in this movie or even their plight and advocacy for environmentalism. The characters are so underdeveloped that if they were real people in the real world trying to get us involved in the movement to "go green" or to "be water-wise," they would actually make us care less about the Earth. The movie is so poorly paced it's like a tortoise drudging through the mud. Any redeeming value the movie could have had by showing the dam in its final moments of destruction was lost as there was not enough money in budget to even spare a tiny little explosion.

Plus, people in the nearby areas wouldn't just naturally think to check local stores to see is any large amounts of fertilizer were purchased within the recent days after a bombing? I know they used fake IDs, but come the hell on! Facial recognition software would have her WANTED posters all over the damn place in a matter of hours...

Jesse Eisenberg is the actorial equivalent of watching paint dry. He is so boring, so uninteresting, and so twitchy that it's hard to get into any movie where he's the star. Dakota Fanning is one actress that filmmakers seem to "dress down" really well (unlike Chloe Grace Moretz), so we guess we'll give her that? She seems to be obsessed with doing arthouse type movies where she is praying that someone will recognize her for an award somewhere....anywhere. This is the kind of movie critics wait all year for. In our opinion, a filmmaker's main goal should be to entertain and enthrall audiences, not to solely please critics, and in that aspect, this movie fails. We understand the importance of the climate change debate and what it could potentially do if we are "too late," but nothing in this movie makes us sympathize with the issues at hand. It's a really boring and underdeveloped attempt at a character sketch with a bigger message that ultimately failed at connecting with audiences. I mean, this movie was so bad, the guy behind us fell asleep and snored...really really loudly.

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 83%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Words and Pictures" (2013)

Movie: "Words and Pictures"
Director: Fred Schepisi
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 51 minutes

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An alcoholic English professor named Jack Marcus (Clive Owen) and an arthritic and angry former professional artist-turned-professor named Dina Delsanto (Juliette Binoche) start a friendly competition at their school in order to inspire students to pick which is more important: words or pictures.

For a movie that's meant to be about how teachers and the arts are supposed to inspire students, the main characters sure aren't inspiring. We know and have known teachers personally throughout our lives. They have all done far more inspiring things with less effort and much less arrogance. Most teachers don't do inspirational things in an effort to save their jobs, but rather, because they genuinely like to teach and further students' educations, goals, and ambitions. There are tons of other films revolving around the importance of teachers like "Stand and Deliver," "Dead Poet's Society," and even a more recent movie like "Freedom Writers" had more to offer in the way of inspiration and education.

While the premise of this story is sort of intriguing, pitting words against pictures in a battle royale, the main characters as teachers are basically unlikable. Clive Owen's Jack is a miserable alcoholic who is a former writer turned burnout teacher. He steals, he lies, and he disappoints those who love him. Juliette Binoche's Dina has a hard time coping with her worsening rheumatoid arthritis as an artist, something I can relate to personally, but she refuses to accept help or love or warmth from anyone close to her. She's very bitter and very mean outwardly so (but I can also relate to this, too, unfortunately, because some days, the pain is just too much to be nice to the world). When Owen and Binoche are on screen together, we really didn't get a sense that they could be lovers, let alone friends. It reminds us of the typical old (and outdated) movie cliche about how two people who initially hate one another and constantly butt heads eventually end up falling in love with one another. Yawn. This is a tired and overused tactic in movie making and we're sure it's not the last time we're going to see it, but filmmakers, at least make it semi-convincing. In addition, the students involved in this 'battle' aren't ones audiences can really root for. They are over-privileged brats and there's no real development in any of their characters beyond a couple of here and theres.

Beyond all of this, the movies wasn't even 2 hours long and yet it felt like it was 3 hours. It's very slowly paced and it's hard to watch so many arguments in such a short time span. Also, it sure was distracting when Clive Owen's character's seemingly American accent was intermittent with his real, British one. I mean, it wasn't convincing in the slightest. Overall, this movie wasn't one we were looking forward to initially and didn't really care about afterward. Watch one of the movies we listed above and call it a day.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 38%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

Movie Review: "22 Jump Street" (2014)

Movie: "22 Jump Street"
Director: Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes

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Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) are back, and this time, the dynamic duo are headed to college. A new drug called WyFy has been making the rounds at local MC State, and after one of its students died while being on the drug, Schmidt and Jenko must, again, infiltrate the dealer and find the supplier.

Much of the hilarity of this movie comes from the fact that it doesn't shy away from telling audiences that it knows it is repeating the same damn story. The recycled plot line is, itself, a joke. And it's outrageous. And we loved every minute of it. It's one of those "we have an expanded budget, let's see what we can get away with" type of popcorn flicks. It's not anything epic or life-altering, but it makes for one hell of a funny movie. A lot of times, sequels fall waaaay short of the superior first film, but this time, the sequel is just as good as the original movie. Channing Tatum has found his niche playing the "dumb jock" type, and we have grown to like him much more as an actor than when he first started showing up on the big screen. Jonah Hill is back doing what he does best: a sarcastic, loudmouth chuckle-head with sensitive and dickish qualities. Ice Cube's role has been beefed up in this movie, and for the better. He has one of the best scenes in the movie, actually, two of the best scenes in the movie. It seems like the entire cast had a blast making this sequel and it definitely shows in the final product. It's a movie where audiences don't have to think too hard and can take 2 hours out of their day to enjoy themselves. Also, Cate Blanchett: best part of the freaking movie.

I think it's also fun to note that there is something to be said about going to a movie with a good audience. Some audiences suck: you know, the ones where Sally is on her freakin' cell phone texting and tweeting the entire time? Or the one where Hoodie-JoeBob looks uber suspicious and you can't take your eyes off of him long enough to actually enjoy the movie? The audience we "had" during this movie was good, and we didn't feel afraid to laugh. In fact, the guys behind us were laughing so loud, our chuckles seemed minuscule, comparatively. It even lent to my enjoyment of the movie as a whole.

Someone on the Rotten Tomatoes message board said that "60 million dollars worth of you ignorant plebs went to see this movie." Their argument was that since "Edge of Tomorrow" is suffering and this movie has excelled by comparison, somehow, we are to blame. Buddy, if you're reading, take issue with THE REAL PROBLEM. Seth McFarlane. or Adam Sandler. Or Melissa McCarthy. Call us the dumbest of them all, because we enjoyed the hell out of this sequel! If you can take a joke and want to see a very self-aware comedic action movie wrought with goofy entertainment and something you don't need to compare to "The Tree of Life," watch this movie.

My Rating: 8.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 83%
Do we recommend this movie: YES!!!

Movie Review: "Million Dollar Arm" (2014)

Movie: "Million Dollar Arm"
Director: Craig Gillespie
Rating: PG
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

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JB Bernstein (Jon Hamm) is a struggling sports agent who has just lost his biggest client. Struggling to pay the bills and keep his business afloat, he gets the idea to create a talent contest that will be held in India called Million Dollar Arm. The contest promises to find the first major league baseball player from India, as well as $1,000,000. JB hopes that he might be able to recruit some cricket players and teach them to play American baseball. The two boys who are chosen, Rinku (Suraj Sharma) and Dinesh (Madhur Mittal), travel to America to learn the game and hope to get signed with a major league team.

CLEAR YOUR THROAT, JON HAMM!!!

When most of these inspirational sports movies come out, we sort of roll our eyes because they are all pretty much the same story just told in a slightly different manner. This movie had a really compelling trailer with a awesome song to boot, so I was personally looking forward to seeing it, though I don't know the first thing about baseball or the main characters Rinku and Dinesh.

This movie had a lot of sap, but it also had a lot of laughs and some great inspiration, though it is pretty typical from a sports movie. It is also complete with a montage. As Rinku and Dinesh come from small, very rural towns in India without many modern amenities, much of the movie focuses on their initial culture shock when coming to the US. Like most sports movies, the sport of baseball itself is more of a backdrop to the human interest story. Audiences also see JB himself transition from a person solely looking for money and the lifestyle it comes with to a person who stops viewing the kids whose lives he's changing as a product. Throughout the movie, he actually begins to understand them as people and realizes that they are more than what money he can make off of them.

There are a lot of great performances in this film, but one in particular is that of Amit (Pitobash), who serves as JB's translator since he speaks English. Though he is mainly this movie's comic relief, he actually has one of the more touching scenes and roles in this film. The performances by Sharma and Mittal are good as well. The two boys are extremely convincing as young baseball prospects who need to find their place in the crazily fast-paced America, while still holding on to their families, their faith, and their culture. Jon Hamm plays Jon Hamm and, again, needs to clear his throat. Alan Arkin is another source of comic relief for the movie, but plays an old curmudgeon very well.

All in all, if you are looking for a touching movie that happens to be about sports, go for this one, it's not half bad. You may not feel overly inspired after it's through, but you certainly won't be disappointed.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 61%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "The Immigrant" (2013)

Movie: "The Immigrant"
Director: James Gray
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours

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Ewa Cybulska (Marion Cotillard) and her sister Magda (Angela Sarafyan) are Polish immigrants who have come to America to live with family and start their lives away from war-torn Poland. Magda gets separated from her sister at Ellis Island because she is ill and needs to be quarantined. Ewa is also met with trials of her own: she was deemed "a woman of low morals" on the boat to America, and is to be deported. A man named Bruno Weiss (Joaquin Phoenix), who has some connections at Ellis Island, comes to her aid and gives her a job. As it turns out, Bruno is a risque nightclub operator and small-time pimp, and he entices Ewa to become a prostitute as her promises that he can help her pay for her sister's treatment and eventually reunite them. 

We don't have very much to say about this movie. This is a dark and dismal look at one woman's experience as an immigrant from Poland in the 1920's. Ewa is a somewhat sympathetic character as she is threatened with deportation, rejected by her family, and penniless in a new, unfamiliar city. She does terrible and immoral things all in the name of helping her sister. Bruno seems like a good guy at first, but this mentality quickly dissolves as we see him become a jealous, controlling, bitter person. Jeremy Renner's character of Emil comes in late in the film and doesn't stick around for long, so there's not much to say about him. He's a cousin of Bruno's and eventually becomes a semi-love interest of Ewa's. He seems, like Bruno did at first, to be a good guy, but also looks out for his own best interests first and seems to enjoy tormenting Bruno. Though Bruno does have a few redeeming qualities, he is wholly unlikable. Pretty much every person in this movie is despicable at some point, and even when they are trying hard to be good, we really didn't connect with them at all. We feel like the director of this movie didn't do a very good job at connecting the audience with the characters as a whole, and when it was over, we were just sort of......there.

One cool thing we noticed during this movie was the dingy gray cast that was put over the entire film in post-production. It looks to have been toned-down so that the colors weren't too bright, and we like that since this movie is depressing and old-timey. Overall, the performances are pretty good, but the movie as a whole is moderately forgettable.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 87%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Netflix Mail Day Movie Review: "21 Jump Street" (2012)

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Movie: "21 Jump Street"
Director: Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Year: 2012
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 49 minutes

Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) are pretty crappy cops. After they get assigned to a revitalized program called 21 Jump Street, the two are tasked with going under cover and pose as students at a local high school in order to infiltrate the dealer and find the supplier of a new drug called HFS. 

When we first saw the trailer for this movie, we thought it would be pretty stupid. When old TV shows get rebooted into modern film, they can be very hit or miss, and usually, they miss. Plus, Tatum and Hill seemed like an unlikely pair to cast as best friends for a movie. We were quite surprised when we laughed almost entirely through this film!

Whatever makes Tatum and Hill seem weird together actually works really well on screen. They play off of each other's strengths and weaknesses and make it obvious that it's a joke. It starts out as your typical "odd couple" scenario riddled with topical 2000's pop culture references: Tatum is a dumb jock vying for acceptance, and Hill is a goofy, awkward nerd. When they go under cover, Schmidt is the popular one as nerd-culture has become prevalent thanks to the internet, and Jenko's "I don't care about anything and try too hard to impress people" shtick doesn't really work in 2012. Whenever the two are together, it's an undeniable bromance. There are many, many laughs and some outrageously funny situations the two find themselves in. Minor characters played by Ice Cube, Nick Offerman, Rob Riggle, and even Johnny Depp add to this movies already hilarious repertoire. The drug tripping scene is one of our favorites, and I am partial to Korean Jesus.

This was an unexpected treasure when we first watched it a couple of years ago, and it's good to know it hasn't lost its spark since then. It was still just as funny the second time around.

My Rating: 8.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 8.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 85%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!!

Movie Review: "The Fault in Our Stars" (2014)

Movie: "The Fault in Our Stars"
Director: Josh Boone
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 5 minutes

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Hazel Grace Lancaster (Shailene Woodley) is seventeen years old, and she has cancer. She spends her days watching reality television, going to the doctor, and sleeping. Her parents want her to go to support group, even though she hates going and doesn't see the point. One day, she bumps into Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) in the Literal Heart of Christ, and her life changes forever. 

Bring lots of tissues if you watch this movie.

The day before we saw this, I finished the book, which I loved. I thought it had so much emotion, so much heart, so much maturity for such young characters yet remained subtle enough to make this cold-hearted bitch have the feels again. This adaptation from book-to-film is not without its problems, and there were a couple of times where I raised my eyebrow at some changes or omissions. But, since we are firm believers in seeing each medium as separate entities, the movie was very good, too, but I must mention here that I liked the book better, and that's all I have to say about that.

That being said, the movie is both happy and heartbreaking, yet cliched and sort of predictable. With any love story, there comes cliche, but in this film, it didn't bother me nearly as much as it could have. I think that has to do, in large part, with the performance of Ansel Elgort and most of all, Shailene Woodley. Both do a fabulous job as main characters Hazel and Augustus. Their on-screen chemistry was both good and believable, but Woodley especially steals the show here. She has a bright acting future ahead of her and I think it shows in this role. She can do many things, and I am looking forward to seeing what's next from her. Beyond the chemistry between these two characters, the movie does manage to make audiences laugh here and there, as the main characters have a twisted sense of humor.

In between the laughs and the tears, there are many, many messages to be had. Losing my mother-in-law almost 2 years ago, BigJ and I could be relate personally, though in a different manner. This movie brought up lots of raw emotions that we both cried about during the movie and shared together after the movie was through. Life is what you make it and it's right there in front of you, even if you have cancer, even if you're sick, even if you're dying. This movie is a lesson in life, a lesson in love, a lesson about passion, a lesson about fear. Because of this, it makes the story beautiful. Everyone deserves a chance at not just happiness and love, but tragedy and death as well, and this is not meant to sound disrespectful in any way, but these experiences make us able to appreciate what we have, to accomplish what we want, and in general, to feel with more ferocity. Well, at least that's how I feel about it.

Several tissues and hundreds of tears later, we are left writing this review, and I am still thinking about this damn book. There are a lot of similarities between this film and "Love Story," and this might just be a modern day version of that movie, but with more heart, more maturity, and more of a lasting message about life.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 82%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!!

Movie Review: "Edge of Tomorrow" (2014)

Movie: "Edge of Tomorrow"
Director: Doug Liman
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 53 minutes

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William Cage (Tom Cruise) is an officer in the U.S. military who has never actually fought on the battlefield. He is more of a spokesman for the military than anything. When an unknown alien race begins attacking Earth, Cage is forced into combat on the front lines. Dropped onto a beach from an airplane, Cage watches as the men and women he went in with slowly die one by one in what seems to be a suicide mission. The aliens knew they were coming all along. Cage ends up killing an Alpha alien, which transmits its power to him, giving Cage the ability to relive the day over and over again. After he is killed, he wakes up and the same day repeats again, only this time, he is a little bit smarter and doesn't get killed the same way. Eventually, he meets Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) on the battlefield, who tells Cage to find her when he wakes up. From there, he find out that Rita once had the same ability to relive the same day, but she lost the ability when she was given a blood transfusion. Cage and Rita must find a way to locate the Omega alien and destroy is, reliving the same day over and over again until they get it right.

Two really highly rated movies from us in the same week?! In June?! UNHEARD OF!!

This movie freaking ROCKED. In fact, we have a feeling you will be seeing this title in our top 10 best movies of the year.

It had a little bit of everything in it and kept us completely enthralled the entire time. I'm sure this has been said elsewhere, but think "Groundhog Day" meets "Starship Troopers." There is a lot of intense, high-paced action wrought with explosions, aliens, and shots to the head. Don't be shocked when the main characters die, because they die. And die. And then, just for good measure, they die again. There is also a lot of comedy in this movie as Cage relives the day over and over again and anticipates what's coming. The story, while it might look confusing, really isn't. It is a well thought out story and is actually quite compelling. While some say Tom Cruise was a bad casting choice, we don't think so. In fact, I am not a Tom Cruise fan, but he did a great job in this movie. Cruise is believable as both the charming media spokesperson who is a wimp off-camera and would do anything to get himself out of serving in combat, as well as a more hard-nosed solider and killing machine at the end of the movie. I am an Emily Blunt fangirl, and she did well as a stone-cold soldier trying to reclaim her destiny. They worked really well together on the big screen!

This is definitely a movie you need to see in the theater to get the full effect because it is so action-packed and the visuals are truly stunning. None of the CGI is bad in this film, and it's a good thing, because without the fantastic CGI, it could have easily been turned into another movie in a slew of crappy "video game-esque" graphicbombs that were over-budgeted and lacked any compelling story. It is clever, high-paced, and a great summer blockbuster. As with other time-jump movies, this one did not get annoying or tiring, in fact, we couldn't wait to see what changes were made each time Cage and Rita relived the day. All in all, a great sci-fi movie we can't wait to re-watch. I have a feeling it will become a staple for us on our DVD shelf.

And of course, the alien beings that are the center of our demise are spider/octopus hybrid lookin' mothafuckas. DAMN YOU, SPIDER-WOLF-OCTOPUS-BEINGS!!!!!!!

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 89%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

Movie Review: "A Million Ways to Die in the West" (2014)

Movie: "A Million Ways to Die in the West"
Director: Seth MacFarlane
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

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Albert Stark (Seth McFarlane) is a sheep farmer who seems to have a more modern understanding of the world and hates living in the old west. When he is dumped by his girlfriend and the love of his life Louise (Amanda Seyfried), he is ready to leave the frontier behind and move to San Francisco. That is, of course, until he meets Anna (Charlize Theron), who Albert connects with as they seem to have the same modern sensibility and mutual hatred of the frontier. Anna helps Albert make his ex jealous by pretending to be his girlfriend. When Albert and Louise’s new beau Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) get in a disagreement, they challenge each other to a duel. Unfortunately, Albert doesn't know how to shoot. Fortunately, Anna does, and she teaches Albert how to do so. While teaching him, the two get closer and closer and eventually fall in love, helping Albert get over Louise. There's just one slight problem problem: Anna is married to a man named Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), who is one of the deadliest outlaws in the west. When Clinch finds out about Albert and Anna, Albert may be in more trouble than he bargained for against a much more dangerous opponent than his previous rival Foy. 

What. A. Crapfest. Literally.

This movie fires off joke after joke like they are coming out of an old-time Gatling gun. For every one that hits its intended target, there are 20-30 misses. All of the jokes we "laughed at" revolved around ol' west humor, like how nobody smiles in photos or how there was heroin in the remedy elixir. Jokes about farts, sex, Sarah Silverman being a prostitute who doesn't believe in premarital sex, sex, more sex, shooting guns at cans...good lord, are we children?? This is an R-rated example of something along the lines of an Adam Sandler flop. From the first time we saw the trailer, we knew what we were in for, and yet had to see if McFarlane could redeem himself after "Ted." Lots of people liked "Ted," but we did not, and for the same reasons.

Beyond that, McFarlane manages to, once again, offend every. single. person. on the planet in some way, shape, or form. He goes after different races, different religions, is super sexist, and even manages to pull out a disability joke or two. At some point, the "shock value" wears off because you expect it from him. It wasn't ever really shocking to us, we just think he's kind of a douche. Again, let us reiterate, we are not prudes, we love a good-bad joke, but only when it's done right. This movie seems like it tried too hard to be another "Blazing Saddles," but without funny actors and with no poignant humor. Other than the old-timey jokes mentioned above, the other slightly better parts in the film are nostalgic cameos from characters from actually good western movie that are fondly remembered. This only takes up about 90 seconds of screen time, though.

Even Liam Neeson and Charlize Theron couldn't save this floundering movie from drowning in a sea of its own excrement. I'd like to say it's disappointing, but at this point, we know better than to expect anything else from Seth McFarlane. It's sad, because he produces "Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey," so we know he's capable of funding a good, well-worthy project, but "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is just....cringeworthy. I mean, there were some points in the movie where I just slinked down in the bottom of my seat as if to hide myself from the other 4 patrons in the theater so they couldn't get a good look at me to rub it in my face at some point in life. It's conflicting because, as bloggers, we want to SEE ALL THE THINGS!!! but as people with morals and self-respect, maybe we need to redraw our line and stop inadvertently funding McFarlane's feeble, ineffectual, and insufficient attempts at what constitutes as humor.

AGHHHHHHH, CRAP...THEY ARE MAKING "TED 2"?!?!?!? *DARTH VADER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 33%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Chef" (2014)

Movie: "Chef"
Director: Jon Favreau
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 55 minutes

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Carl Casper (John Farvreau) is a divorced father who often doesn't find the time he should for his young son Percy (Emjay Athony). Carl is also head chef at a very high-end restaurant, though he feels like he is in a creative rut. When one of the most highly followed online food critics Ramsey Michel (Oliver Platt) is set to review his restaurant, Chef Casper wants to give him something new and inspired. Unfortunately for Carl, his boss Riva (Dustin Hoffman) doesn't see it that way, and forces him to stick to the standard restaurant menu. This leads Michel to write a poor review, calling Casper’s food uninspired. This review eventually leads to a flame war on Twitter and an in-restaurant blow up that gets put on YouTube, ultimately costings Casper his job. Out of work and out of prospects, Carl takes the advice of his ex-wife Inez (Sofia Vagara) and purchases a food truck from her ex-husband Marvin (Robert Downey Jr.). This change may help bring new inspiration into Carl's life. Along with a cross-country trip in the food truck with his son and his colleague Martin (John Leguizamo), Carl might just be able to do what he can to reconnect to his passion and to make up for lost time with Percy.

I freaking LOVED this movie. And not just because it made me completely and totally hungry, which it did. It made me fall in love with food all over again.

BigJ and I are not the smallest people on the planet. We appreciate a good meal as much as the next John and Jane Doe. But sometimes, we get stuck in a rut, whether we are eating at home or eating out. It's so hard to find something new when two married people have such varied tastes in food! Sometimes if I want Indian food, I have to consider that BigJ won't really eat anything on the menu...but he has been trying since we met to expand his horizons! Or, if he wants a hamburger for the 10th time this month, he might have to consider that I am tired of burgers and look elsewhere for dinner. This movie made it okay to fall in love with food that doesn't have to be a culinary delight from a 5-star restaurant. It's okay to eat at taco trucks because some of the best food can be found in the weirdest, most random places. It's a food truck revolution!!!

Beyond the ridiculous "filmability" of beignets, slow cooked meats, and street sandwiches, Jon Favreau nails it as main character Carl Casper. It's important to note that Favreau also wrote AND directed this film, so he had his work cut out for him. What we are left with as a result of this hard work is a charming, heartfelt look into the life and times of one chef-turned-food truck owner who maybe isn't as close to his son as he should be, but rectifies this through his love of food. Favreau just shines. He is completely believable as a chef who knows his 'ish and is willing to fight to cook what he wants on his own terms.

There are many cameo roles in this movie, which are a real delight to watch, including Dustin Hoffman, Oliver Platt, and Robert Downey Jr.. Though Downey Jr. isn't on the big screen that long in this film, he manages to steal the scene where he is featured. Damn, is that guy hilarious or what? We love him! Also, it's so funny to us that these guys who aren't the typical Hollywood-molded leading man say, "screw it, I'm going to write and direct my own movie and cast who I want as my partner and friends!" Well, Favreau did just that: he cast Sofia Vergara as his ex-wife! GO FAVREAU!! The two aren't weird on screen, though, they seem like, even in divorce, they are still pretty good friends, and somehow, they work as a couple. It must also be said that Emjay Anthony, the young actor who plays Percy, was fun to watch as well. It was absolutely touching to watch him show his dad how to use Twitter, and in turn, learn how to cook sandwiches and travel across the country with his ol' dad. I cannot say enough good things about this movie and I hope it gets recognition it deserves.

Oh, and speaking of Twitter, we don't think we've ever seen such blatant advertising for Twitter in, like, ever. It was well-incorporated throughout the movie, but it was just an observation of ours that it was definitely one of the main focuses of the film. The power of social media will never cease to amaze us, and this is how many places, including local food trucks, get the word out about their businesses.

Go into this movie with an empty stomach and afterwards, make it a day and go get yourself some bomb ass cuisine. You won't regret it!

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 89%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES1!!

Movie Review: "The Railway Man" (2014)

Movie: "The Railway Man"
Director: Jonathan Teplitzky
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

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Eric (Colin Firth) is a railway enthusiast who spends his days riding trains. It is on one of these trains where he meets his wife-to-be Patti (Nicole Kidman). They fall in love and get married, but Eric is still troubled and haunted by his past. Patti approaches an old friend of Eric’s named Finlay (Stellan Skarsgard), who reluctantly informs Patti of the pain Eric had to endure during World War II. As a younger man, Eric (Jeremy Irvine) and his entire outfit of army engineers were taken prisoner by the Japanese. After drawing a map of the railroad they were building, it was in this prison camp where Eric was violently tortured by his captors and was almost beaten to death. In order to help Eric reconcile his past, Finlay finds the location of one of the surviving captors: a Japanese interpreter named Takeshi Nagase (Hiroyuki Sanada), who was present and helped interrogate Eric during his torturing. Eric leaves to confront Takeshi at the prison camp where he was tortured, which has been turned into a war museum and where Takeshi is now working. 

This movie is based on a true story and has much raw emotion and a powerful message at the end. While Eric is being tortured on the inside though the war is long over, we see him wrestle with his inner demons and fight to figure out the "right" path as far as revenge goes. He's obviously suffering from PTSD and wants to seek closure from the wrongs that were done to him during the war. Along the way, we are treated to another performance by Colin Firth, a man seems to do no wrong. Also, his younger counterpart, played by Jeremy Irvine, does a fantastic job with not just his dialogue, but with the harder torture scenes as well. Between the two actors, we see a complete transformation of one person: Irvine plays the emotional younger Lomax, and Firth plays the stoic, hardened older man, and both compliment the role spectacularly. The same can be said for Tanroh Ishida and Hiroyuki Sanada, who both play Takeshi Nagase in this film. Ishida plays the younger, angrier translator/officer who is loyal to his country and is proud of what they are doing, whereas Sanada is the older, wiser, more apologetic and somber Nagase, who regrets the actions of his past. These performances alone make for a great viewing experience, though the subject matter is difficult to watch and quite violent. Supporting roles from Nicole Kidman and Stellan Skarsgard are also good as the two try to piece together what's going on inside Eric's mind and thoughts.

Beyond all of this, the message at the end is one that we need to think about more often as a society. War is not an excuse for all-out inhumanity, and this movie shows that. We were both very intrigued by this movie while watching it, and you feel the characters go through their angst, their fear, their pain, their need for closure.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 66%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Maleficent" (2014)

Movie: "Maleficent"
Director: Robert Stromberg
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 37 minutes

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In a twist on the classic story Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent tells its tale from the perceived villain’s point of view. Maleficent (Agenelina Jolie) is a powerful fairy growing up in a land known as the Moors. The Moors are home to all kinds of fantastical creatures like trolls, imps, and tree people. As a young fairy, Maleficent falls for a human named Stephan (Sharlto Copley), who she befriended after she caught him stealing a gem from The Moors. As they grew up, Stephan was more interested in pursuing power than being with Maleficent. When a dying King Henry (Kenneth Kranham), who Maleficent and her mystical creatures recently defeated in battle, offers his crown to anyone who can kill Maleficent, Stephan quickly jumps at the opportunity. He uses his friendship to trick Maleficent, and though he cannot bring himself to kill her, he does cut off her wings and uses them to convince the king she is dead in order to gain the crown. From this point on, Maleficent is hell-bound and determined to get revenge, and when King Stephan holds the christening of his first child, Aurora (Elle Fanning), Maleficent crashes the party and puts a curse on little Aurora: before her 16th birthday,  she will fall in to a deep death-like sleep after pricking her finger on a spinning wheel only to be awaken by true loves kiss. In response, the King is set on his own revenge to destroy Maleficent. He gives Aurora to a trio of fairies to hide her away in a cabin in the forest until the day after her 16th birthday. Though they believe her to be safe, Maleficent is always around to keep a watch on her cursed little beast. 

A lot of people are calling this film a mess, but we really didn't think so! BigJ is a sucker for fantasy films, and I am a fan of taking age-old stories and turning them on their heads. It's interesting to see the timeless tale of Sleeping Beauty and shifted to reflect Maleficent's point of view and to see her back story in the way that "Wicked" does for "The Wizard of Oz." Filmmakers do a great job showing that things in life aren't always so black and white, but rather, more of a shade of gray. Often times, one person's evil villain is another person's hero. This movie showcases the best of both worlds. "Maleficent" also carries on with Disney's recent trend of focusing on other types of love and bravery beyond the male/female relationship as seen in "Frozen" and "Brave."

Angelina Jolie was physically made for this role. Her high cheekbones and sharp features lend to a very wicked looking Maleficent. There is some makeup work on her face that enhances her already prominent features, but it seems to be minimal (besides her bright red lipstick). Sharlto Copley has made a good transition into playing really menacing and downright evil characters. He performs well in this movie, though his accent is all over the place and it's very obvious. Elle Fanning was okay, but not our ideal cast as Sleeping Beauty. Her accent, too, was distracting, and though she's not in the movie for that long, her character is too damn giddy. Even the real Sleeping Beauty is like, "tone it down a notch, bro."

The special effects with the Moors looked really cool as did the battle scenes, but some of the creatures of the Moors looked cartoony and not completely realistic. Despite the video game-esque look of some of the creatures, it doesn't distract too much from the film.

There have been a lot of darker, alternate looks at fairy tale characters in recent years ("Snow White and the Huntsman"), but this one seems to have succeeded (for us) where the other failed.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 51%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!!

Movie Review: "X-Men: Days of Future Past" (2014)

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Movie: "X-Men: Days of Future Past"
Director: Bryan Singer
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 11 minutes

In the near future, Mutants are almost extinct. All Mutants, as well as any human who may carry the mutant gene, are being hunted down and rounded up by robots known as Sentinels. These Sentinels have the unique ability to change and adapt, which makes them virtually indestructible. They have discovered Mystique’s (Jennifer Lawrence) DNA is the key to developing these machines, and her past actions were the motivation for creating them. Professor X (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellen) devise a plan for Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page) to project Wolverine’s (Hugh Jackman) consciousness into his younger self in order to change the past. Wolverine must find younger past Professor X (James McAvoy) and younger past Magneto (Michael Fassbender) so together, they can help convince Mystique not to carry out the actions that will eventually lead to the doom of the entire mutant race.  

This is the best X-Men movie in a long time. Its cool yet convoluted plot completely erases the stink-bomb known as "X-Men: The Last Stand" and does so with open arms. The whole concept of the movie is really interesting and filmmaker Bryan Singer manages to pull off the time jump/time travel in this film expertly, in our opinions. The X-Men movies are also always able to bring up not just historical parallels, but social issues that still plague our society today. Humans always fear what the don't understand, and it seems that consistently through each X-Men movie past and present, this is a recurring theme, which only adds to our enjoyment.

Let's face it: Jennifer Lawrence is America's (current) Sweetheart. Whether the central focus on Mystique in this movie had to do with this fact, we may never know, but we have a hunch that's why. This is not to knock to the film, it's just merely an observation. Jennifer Lawrence does a good job as Mystique/Raven and we've never found ourselves tiring of her character. James McAvoy plays disillusioned and disheveled really well in his reprisal as Professor X. Michael Fassbender is fantastic as Magneto and plays stone-faced villains extremely well. We also really enjoyed the introduction of Quicksilver (Even Peters). He adds a lot of much-needed humor and has a great film-stealing scene at the prison (you'll know what we mean if you have seen the movie). Hugh Jackman is dazzling, as always, as Wolverine, and a treat to watch with his shirt off to men and women everywhere. Along with some old X-Men cameos, there are also a lot of new characters in bit roles that pop up here and there. Despite their small roles, they do get to display their individual powers, which may help to satisfy your inner geek.

Overall, we were extremely impressed and left wanting more. We are very much looking forward to "X-Men: Apocalypse" in 2016.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 91%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!!
~~~~~~~~~~

To see our review of "X-Men," click here.

To see our review of "X2: X-Men United," click here.

To see our review of "X-Men: The Last Stand," click here.

To see our review of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," click here.

To see our review of "X-Men: First Class," click here.

To see our review of "The Wolverine," click here.

Movie Review: "Blended" (2014)

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Movie: "Blended"
Director: Frank Coraci
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes

Jim (Adam Sandler) is a widower with 3 daughters. Lauren (Drew Barrymore) is a recent divorcee with 2 sons. The two go on a blind date from hell. Jim takes Lauren to a Hooters and prefers to watch whatever is on the television instead of making eye contact with her. She brushes him off as a big jerk. The two are thrown together many times before they both, unknowingly, end up on a romantic getaway at a resort in Africa meant for Jim's boss and his family and Lauren's best friend. The resort's purpose is to help "blended" families come together. Jim and Lauren begin to learn more about each other and become closer despite their seeming dislike for one another.

*double sigh*

Let me reiterate the sentiment from our last Adam Sandler movie post. His old stuff? Hilarious. We LOVE "The Wedding Singer." Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, weirdly, have great on-screen chemistry that works so well.

It almost saves them from this steaming pile of crap.

This isn't the absolute worst Adam Sandler movie in the past 15 years (for our review of said worst movie, click here), but it's still really bad. His feeble attempts at what passes for humor are the same rhinos humping/fart/making fun of girls that look like guys/offending every possible race/gender/sex/country out there that he always throws at audiences. And for some reason, THEY EAT IT UP. It's pretty obvious he is just getting a free annual vacation out of these movies now. This year, he chose Africa.

The only thing that saves this movie in the slightest is a liiiiiiiiiitle bit of schmaltzy sweetness and heart. I blame this on that weird chemistry between Sandler and Barrymore. They are cute together, but this movie is not. And making Sandler a widower is a cheap and lazy attempt at garnering sympathy for his otherwise dolt of a character.

There is a running "joke" in the movie where he treats his daughters like they are boys....how and why this is funny, we have no idea. They are mistaken for boys constantly and yet look extremely feminine! Why he thinks gender identity issues are something to poke fun at really puzzles me, and they have been a central theme in the last few of his movies. If I was his daughter and he made such mean jokes to me, I would have filed for emancipation, and not shrug it off as "oh, silly dad, my mom died, he uses air freshener as cologne, I understand!" This is just one of the examples of the many jokes that fall flat in this movie. Terry Crews pops up about a hundred times with a fake African accent and a bunch of singers who insert themselves into situations to create humor, but instead, just stink up the joint. Kevin Nealon and his new younger wife make it a point to always be touching or making out in every scene where they are featured, and it's awkward and forced and annoying. The hotel concierge, played by Abdoulaye NGom, makes it a point to always pronounce Sandler's fake last name wrong....a thousand damn times. WE GET IT, but the repetition of said "humor" into the ground DOESN'T MAKE YOUR CHEAP ASS JOKES FUNNY. Though we may have laughed here and there, the bad FAR outweighs the good.

Barrymore plays the stereotypical overprotective single mother who cannot control her kids and doesn't let them have any fun. She also has a complete jerk cheater ex-husband, played by Joel McHale, who doesn't want to spend any time with his kids. She also has a very stereotypically female job: a closet organizer, whereas Sandler works at a sporting goods store with the macho Shaquille O'Neal. It's all very rudimentary and conforming to set gender roles.

Is the public at large finally getting over Adam Sandler and his same offensive shtick? BigJ and I are not praying folk, but I will drop to my knees in prayer once he realizes that his days as a box office star are finally numbered.

My Rating: 3.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 14%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Godzilla" (2014)

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Movie: "Godzilla"
Director: Gareth Edwards
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hour, 3 minutes

In 1999 during a mining operation in the Philippines, workers uncover the remains of an ancient creature along with several "eggs." Dr. Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins) are called in to investigate, and they discover that one of the eggs has hatched. Whatever was inside it has already disappeared. Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) and his wife Sandra (Juliette Binoche) and son Ford (CJ Adams) live in Japan. Joe and Sandra work at the Janjira nuclear power plant in Japan. Joe has noticed some recent seismic activity patterns that seem unusual and don't look to be caused naturally. It turns out, this activity leads to a meltdown at the plant and the death of his wife. 

15 years later in present-day San Francisco, Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), now a US Navy bomb specialist, has a wife Elle (Elizabeth "looks just like her sisters" Olsen) and son Sam (Carson Bolde) of his own but doesn't keep in touch with his father. When Joe gets arrested for being caught in the "quarantine zone" in Japan, Ford travels there to bail him out. Joe tries to convince Ford that there is a cover-up going on about what happened at Janjira 15 years ago. Turns out, Joe was right: the meltdown was caused by a creature referred to as a MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism), which feeds on nuclear energy. This MUTO is about to finish its feeding and hibernation and is ready to unleash its destruction on the world in search of more energy. Noises emitted by the MUTO draw the attention of another ancient being: GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Run, Walter White, RUN!!!!!

While the story in this movie is what suffers the most, it's still not bad. The human portion of the story can just be sort of boring. Pretty much every human character in this story is disposable, and it's really not the reason why people went to see this movie. You can interchange any of the characters with any other actor or actress and it would have been the same. The father/son dynamic doesn't really go anywhere other than the first 20 minutes of the movie. The beginning of the movie is quite compelling, but when Ford grows up and has a family of his own, it becomes a snoozefest. It feels like it wants to give a "War of the World" focus on one single family's plight during the terror, but filmmakers could have done fine with just the scientists and general military personnel without a grandiose storyline. We just want to see Godzilla kick some serious ass!!!

What makes up for this is the stunning graphics and special effects. When Godzilla opens up the MUTOs jaw and spits his fire breath into his mouth?! I WANTED TO CHEER!! YEAH!!! That was freakin' awesome! It seems like they spared no expense with the bitchin' CGI and special effects. Though Godzilla's screen time is shorter than it could have been, we found ourselves not minding too much because when he does fight the MUTOs, it's pretty spectacular. If a good half hour of the filler story would have been cut out of the film, we definitely would have rated it higher. Godzilla doesn't need to be in every scene, but a little more of him couldn't have hurt.

Overall, it's not as bad as people are saying if you go into it knowing that it does drag a little and it does have a sort of useless plotline, but we feel that the stellar graphics and special effects make up for it. We can't wait to see if there is a sequel!

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 73%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!