Movie Review: "Fast & Furious 6" (2013)

Movie: "Fast & Furious 6"/"Furious 6"
Director: Justin Lin
Year: 2013
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 10 minutes

After pulling off the $100 million dollar heist in Brazil, the whole gang has gone their separate ways while hiding out in non-extradition countries. Mia (Jordana Brewster) has just given birth to Brian's (Paul Walker) son, and though they have a lot, it just doesn't feel like home. A short time later, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) approaches Dominic (Vin Diesel) with a deal to help catch a top international criminal named Shaw (Luke Evans). Dom isn't interested, until Hobbs shows him that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is very much alive and working for Shaw. Dominic brings the gang back together to find Letty and bring down Shaw in exchange for full pardons across the board. 

• Vroom, vroom
• Meet Paul Walker's new baby and see Jordana Brewster again for 2 seconds because they apparently barely matter in this movie other than being catalysts for kidnapping!
• Explosion, robbery by criminal mastermind Shaw, played by Luke Evans who is not a great bad guy, and his group.
• Muscles, ass-kicking, as per usual
• Dwayne "The Rock and I want to be taken seriously in acting" Johnson reprises his role as Hobbs, a DSS agent, and throws a 250+ lb. muscle heavy terrorist man against the ceiling to receive necessary information because physics.
• The Rock, once again, A COP, turns to Dominic Toretto and his criminal friends for help (BECAUSE WHY NOT, YOLO)
• OMG LETTY IS STILL ALIVE NO WAY??? Hobbs offers to pardon Diesel's entire crew in exchange for their help in apprehending Shaw.
• Vin Diesel reacts with this face:
• Team assembles!
• The need lots of cars
• They need lots of guns
• They have lots of muscles
• They will do lots of ass-kicking
• Over-the-top action ensues because fuck physics.
• Some scantly clad women, but not nearly as many as movies 1-3.
• Toretto, O'Conner and group try to stop Shaw's second robbery, but are foiled!!
• Flippy cars, vroom vroom
• Shaw has these electronic things that latch onto cars and make them go boom.
• Michelle Rodriguez shoots Vin Diesel in the shoulder because she doesn't remember who he is.
• "Letty? Y U makesz me sads?"
• Vin Diesel reacts with this face: 
• Re-grouping times!
• Everyone is trying to find out more about criminal mastermind group, which apparently contains Letty???
• Paul Walker turns himself in in America to get close to drug dealer Braga, who is in jail, and is told "you'll only get close to Shaw if he wants you to." ****MESSAGE!!!****
• Ludacris and The Rock are racially profiled while buying expensive cars because it's funny!!1111 (NOT) and make racist car dealer strip out of his clothes because retribution.
• Michelle Rodriguez and Gina Carano (MMA fighter turned "actress" LOLOL) fight in subway station and no one thinks to call the cops.
• Carano only hired to showcase MMA "ability" (LOL ASK CYBORG WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT THAT LOLOLOL)
• Han and Rome fight Shaw's Han and Rome dopplegangers
• More guns
• Lots of breaking glass
• They are embarrassed because they didn't get the guys AWWW.
• Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez turn up to the same street race because THEY JUST WANT TO RACE OK???
• She lost her memory when she almost got killed during an accident in Fast & Furious (movie #4)
• He tries to reconnect with her, recanting old stories, comparing scars and by making this face: 
• Next strike by Shaw's group will be on an airbase in Spain
• Over a 3 ounce microchip??? WUT??
• Good guys chase bad guys
• Bad guys have a tank that emerges from the ruins of convoy fire
• Tank runs over cars on a crowded highway, vroom vroom!
• Moar guns!
• Missile launcher, explosions, mildly entertaining chase scenes!!
• Han saves Wonder Woman because LOVE
• Vin Diesel saves Michelle Rodriguez by LEAPING OFF A BRIDGE AND CATCHING HER MID-AIR, THEN FALLING ONTO WINDSHIELD OF CAR BECAUSE FUCK PHYSICS
• Also, because of this face: 
  
• Airplane scene, zomg.
• The gang chases down a plane after Shaw kidnaps Mia and their baby; apparently, this plane is on a seemingly endless runway, scene lasts almost 16 minutes; fight ensues with basically nothing more than a gun and a Honda
• MUSCLE-FLEX!!!!
• More fighting, but no more sweaty bald man-on-man combat, AWWWW!
• More muscles!
• Vroom, now they are out of the plane
• Plane catches on fire, terrorist dies???
• ZOMG GISELE SACRIFICES HERSELF FOR HAN!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
• INSTEAD OF ASKING FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR A JOB WELL DONE, ALL THEY AS FOR IS THE INITIAL HOUSE IN THE GHETTO IN L.A. WHERE VIN DIESEL GREW UP...R U DUMB GUYSZ???????
• Tokyo, you know, since movie #3 comes after movie #6????
• Same chase scene from "Tokyo Drift"
• Han dies anyway, Gisele's sacrifice is done in vein
• OMG IT'S JASON STATHAM YASSSSSSSSSSS!!
• Vin Diesel's gorgeous face remains in tact: 
  

My Rating: 6/10
Josh's Rating: 5.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating:
Do we recommend the film: Sure, why not?