Movie Review: "Kindergarten Cop" (1990)

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Movie: "Kindergarten Cop"
Director: Ivan Reitman
Year: 1990
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 51 minutes

John Kimball (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a gruff police detective that has been working for years to put drug dealer and murderer Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson) behind bars. John has finally gotten his first witness, a drug addict named Cindy (Alex Koromzay), but he isn't sure how the jury will receive her testimony. Luckily, he has also gotten a lead on the whereabouts of Crisp's ex-wife, who supposedly stole $3 million dollars from Crisp and has skipped town with their son. They know his son is in kindergarten and attending school in Aurora, Oregon under an alias. Now, the rough and tough cop must go undercover and deal with his toughest test to date: teaching a class full of kindergartners.  

"Kindergarten Cop" is another comedy that pairs Arnold Schwarzenegger with director Ivan Reitman, who was his go-to comedy director for the better part of a decade it seems. This comedy had a simple idea, and that's what makes it so successful in our eyes. Take the biggest, baddest action star and throw him in a room with a bunch of 5 and 6-year olds, and watch him crumble under the pressure and bend to their will. We see that Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kimball can deal with murderers, drug dealers, and other criminals, but a group of children? That's just much for him to handle! It's a different breed of crazy. When push comes to shove, the best word to describe this movie is cute. It's a bunch of little kids saying funny and outrageous things about penises, vaginas, tumors, their dads being deadbeats, or just flat out embarrassing their moms because, well, kids of that age lack a social filter. Of course, then there's pairing them with Arnold, who is a hulking tree of a man, making it that much more silly as he tries to deal with these youngsters the best way he can. He does things which, in this day and age, would certainly get him fired, or at the very least, land the school with a big, fat lawsuit for his actions and style. Apart from his time on screen whipping his classroom full of youngsters into shape, Kimball and his partner, Detective Phoebe O'Hara, played by Pamela Reed, are trying to find out who Crisp's ex-wife is, the one that stole $3 million dollars and skipped town with their young son. Schwarzenegger and Reed have a really fun and personable chemistry with one another and this makes them all the more believable as colleagues and partners.

Now sure, this isn't the best movie, but it certainly isn't as horrible as most critics say. We guess we could classify it as a "guilty pleasure" movie, just in the opposite direction of our other Arnold favorites like "Commando" and "Total Recall." There's a great mix of absurd comedy with some borderline graphic violence, and like we mentioned, in 2015, we can't help but think of what would happen to someone nowadays who pulled off anything like Kimball in his stint as a teacher. The cheesy factor is off the charts, however it's also endearing and sort of sweet how well he handles a situation he is obviously not well equipped to handle. Even though the majority of the plot of "Kindergarten Cop" is wholly unbelievable and borderline ludicrous, it still has a lot of heart, comedy and some of the best/our favorite signature Arnold one-liners in all of this movies. Don't miss this one if you want a good, hearty laugh.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 51%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "21 Jump Street"