Movie Review #355: "Joy" (2015)

Movie: "Joy"
Director: David O. Russell
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

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Joy (Jennifer Lawrence) is a single mother who struggles to take care of her dysfunctional family. She has come up with a new invention which, if successful, could change all of their lives forever, but failure would mean losing everything.  

Director David O. Russell brings audiences everywhere his latest film starring his favorite actress, Jennifer Lawrence, this time in the titular role of Joy. He also assembles his favorite supporting cast of Robert De Niro and Bradley Cooper to back up her lead role. This film is loosely, and we mean loosely, based on the life of inventor Joy Mangano. When we first saw the original trailer for this movie, we had no idea what it was going to be about, and by the looks of it, it almost seemed like it was going to be a mafia film. In the past 3 years of going to the movies at least 3 times a week, we have found that David O. Russell is one of the most misleading movie makers when it comes to manipulating his films via trailers, but where he has found relative success doing this in the past may have backfired on him with "Joy." This time around, the trailer for the film is slightly more intriguing than the final product itself. What the audience may have expected and what they received were two wildly different things. In fact, if we didn't look up what "Joy" was about many months ago, we might be a little more pissed off than we are right now. This film is a rather slow paced semi-biopic about a single mom who invents a new and innovative mop. Surrounding this invention is the non-linear story of Joy's life from age 10-ish on, full of unused potential, unfulfilled dreams, and a terribly self-centered family that she continues to support despite them being huge assholes. Where Joy knows she succeeds is in inventing things, but between her family and the universe, her potential is squandered and thwarted at every turn. Her life and story are that of struggle and redemption simultaneously, a rags to riches tale which is different from the typical male-driven American success story we are usually fed in mainstream cinema.

Unfortunately, "Joy" is still, at its crux, a movie about a woman who invented a mop. There are a lot of parts that just drag and repeat and are tedious to watch. There is the occasional moment of intensity or excitement, but most of these parts were shown in the trailer and didn't really need to be spoiled there. David O. Russell does manage to get some excellent camera shots here and there, but without a fully engaging story, again, lady with a mop. While the storytelling of it all might suffer, at least the acting is great, though really, when has Jennifer Lawrence ever done us wrong? Not yet, we imagine. The one very glaring part of her role as Joy is that she slips in and out of her East Coast accent, almost as if she can't decide whether to lay it on thick or lose it entirely. Robert De Niro is as good as ever as Joy's condescending asshole father Rudy, but let's be honest, when is De Niro not amazing? He has some good exchanges with Lawrence and with his ex-wife Terry, played by Virginia Madsen, a lonely shut-in who stays in her room in Joy's house and obsesses over horrible TV soap operas. Bradley Cooper has a very minor part in this film, about 15 minutes or so of screen time if that, and his role could have been filled by virtually anyone, but O. Russell loves his Lawrence-Cooper-De Niro trio something fierce.

We have a bone to pick with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. "Joy" was recently nominated for a Golden Globe in two categories: best comedy/musical, and best actress in a comedy/musical. Best actress we totally understand, though in a year saturated with phenomenal female performances, J.Law just has no chance in hell this year. Our bone is with it being nominated for best comedy...best comedy?? This surprises us for two reasons: one, "Joy" is hardly award worthy, that's the bottom line, and two, how in the fresh hell is this movie a comedy? It isn't funny, that's for sure. There are the occasional comedic line (insults, rather) uttered by De Niro's Rudy, but in the context of the film, they are far more abusive than humorous. This is most certainly not a comedy, and neither is "The Martian" while we're at it, so did y'all just fall asleep when you were picking the nominees this year?

All this being said, there are some outstanding visuals and some good camera work here. On a technical level, David O. Russell made a well shot film, but once again (and we sound like a broken record), a pretty movie doesn't a movie make. It seems he took the time to craft a well packaged product, but we can't imagine ourselves revisiting "Joy" for a long while as it is kind of a drag. Jennifer Lawrence's commanding performance is something to write home about, but its underlying feminist message, the one he seemed to want it to have, is sort of lost in a sea of forced emotions, mediocre writing, and blah. We appreciate a story with zany characters and goings on, and "Joy" is chock full of 'em, though the road to get there is a bit arduous.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 57%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review #354: "Sisters" (2015)

Movie: "Sisters"
Director: Jason Moore
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 58 minutes

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Upon learning their parents intend to sell their childhood home, the Ellis sisters Kate (Tina Fey) and Maura (Amy Poehler) decide to throw one last blowout party at the residence to bid it farewell.  

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey spend so much time together off screen, you would think they are really sisters. Well, they finally get their chance to play siblings in the appropriately titled "Sisters." Amy Poehler plays Maura Ellis, a straight-laced nurse and divorcee who has always tried to do what was right. This means she has hardly ever let lose and had true fun apart from crafting and hanging out with her parents. Kate Ellis, played by Tina Fey, on the other hand, is an irresponsible single mother and beautician. Unlike Maura, Kate has always let lose and spent most on her youth drunk, stoned, or getting laid, which she proudly cataloged in journals throughout her childhood. Kate is currently not on the best of terms with her daughter Haley, played by Madison Davenport, due to her unconventional and often wild lifestyle. Instead of simply telling Kate that their parents intend to sell their childhood home and move into a retirement-style community free from clutter, Maura and Kate head to Florida to find it has already been put on the market and sold to a snobby rich couple who want to make big changes to it. Angered and betrayed, the two sisters decide to have one final hurrah! in the house and throw a rager of a party, one that would make them feel both young again and allow them to rediscover who they used to be when they were younger.

As much as we like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey both together and separately, we can't say we were exactly excited to see this movie and were more than cautious to say the least. Those worries weren't eased right away as "Sisters" gets off to a bit of a rough start. It almost has a "Step Brothers" meets "This is 40" meets "Superbad" sort of vibe where right off the bat, someone's go-to opening line involves bringing up a vagina or telling a sex joke or uttering an unmentionable cuss word. As the movie moves on, we started to laugh more and more when party preparations really got to flowing for Kate and Maura. Don't be mistaken, there is a lot of the awkward, uncomfortable kind of comedy here where we as audience members feel secondhand embarrassment for the characters on screen, as well as being around other adults twice our age who probably should not be laughing at lines like "I have a fussy taint." There is also some major silliness here. This childlike silliness is combined with a hefty dose of raunchy sex humor, as well as tons of drug and alcohol related jokes, so prudes and haters, be aware you're walking into a lion's den of female-centric vulgarity.

Suffice it to say, even with its flaws and several missteps where some jokes are concerned, we have to admit we laughed quite a bit and way more than we expected to. Somewhere amidst all the bush and phallic drawing gags is also a message about aging and being responsible, but not forgetting to let loose once in a while. This is especially poignant and pertinent for those with kids. There is also a strong supporting cast with James Brolin and Dianne Wiest (oddly enough, both of them are the parents on the TV show "Life in Pieces") filling in as Kate and Maura's parents, Ike Barinholtz as Maura's love interest James, who has some great funny moments and one that's almost unforgettable. There is also a minor character involving one of our favorites, John Leguizamo, who plays Dave, an old sexual fling of Kate's and modern day alcoholic who offers up a fair share of laughs with his tattooed, muscle bound drug dealer Pazuzu, played by professional wrestler and camel-armed John Cena, who for some reason makes us laugh in a good way by just showing up on screen. Like any SNL alumni film, of course, there are also a slew of other SNL alumni and friends of Fey and Poehler's including Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, and Bobby Moynihan.

Overall, we had a pretty fun time with "Sisters." Though it's definitely not a perfect comedy, it does have enough genuine laughs apart from its many misses to keep us almost wholly entertained. It was a relatively enjoyable viewing experience, but it's not a movie we feel we'd need to watch all the time.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 59%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review #353: "Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens" (2015)

Movie: "Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens"
Director: J.J. Abrams
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 15 minutes

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After the fall the Galactic Empire, the Republic and the Senate have regained control of the galaxy. However, a militarily strong group known as The First Order is attempting to overthrow the Republic. Meanwhile, a member of the First Order named Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), who is strong in the Dark Side of the force, hopes to hunt down his former teacher Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), who has gone into hiding. Also searching for Skywalker is the Resistance, led by Luke's sister, now-General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), who are fighting against the First Order. 

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We hemmed and hawed on this review, waiting over a week and two viewings to write it. This is a spoiler-free review of "Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens," which is everything we hoped the prequels could have been but weren't. It is really everything we wanted and more. This is an exciting and fun film with great, well written characters and actors that actually put on strong emotional performances. Of course, all of the original characters are here with Harrison Ford as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher as Leia (now General) Organa, Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, Anthony Daniels as C-3PO, and of course, R2-D2. Though the original cast is here, they all play more supporting roles to the new cast of characters introduced in this fresh installment. The primary focus here is on a scavenger named Rey, played by newcomer Daisy Ridley, who inadvertently gets involved in the ongoing conflict when she finds an astro-droid called BB-8, which looks fantastic and is an actual practically built robot that we love. He is the property of Poe Dameron, played by the fabulous, wonderful Oscar Isaac, who is a pilot fighting for the Resistance. Joining them is FN2187, or Finn, played by John Boyega, who has just abandoned his post as a Stormtrooper, leaving the First Order after his first combat mission. Serving the First Order are Kylo Ren, played by Adam Driver, a practitioner of the Dark Side of the force who is obsessed with hunting down Luke Skywalker. We believe Driver is excellent as Kylo Ren, with and without his mask, and think he is a great successor to Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is everything we hoped Anakin Skywalker could have been in "Revenge of the Sith" as he is emotional, angry, filled with rage, and ready for vengeance. Other villains in this installment include General Hux, played by Domhnall Gleeson, a recent favorite of ours, who is the leader of the First Order Military. Hux is more of a Hitler-type in that he gives grand speeches and is obviously filled with an intense amount of hate and rage for the Resistance and the Senate. Gleeson gives a powerful performance here. Hux and Kylo report to supreme leader Snoke, who is voiced by Andy Serkis. Even though we adore Serkis, honestly, Snoke is one of least favorite parts of this film. Though his character only appears as a hologram, this hologram is a 25+ foot projection and is all digital and painfully obviously so in a film saturated by practical effects. We know there is room for improvement once Snoke is revealed in person, but this part was distracting the first time we saw the movie. Snoke and another character, Unkar Platt, another digital creature on the planet of Jakku voiced by Simon Pegg, did not bother us as much upon a second viewing of "The Force Awakens." Other characters include Captain Phasma, played by Gwendolyn Christie, who is a chrome-plated Stormtrooper and commanding officer who had a little less screen time than we would have liked. We have a feeling she will be the new Boba Fett of the series. Also, there's Maz Kanata, voiced and mo-capped by Lupita Nyong'o. Maz is a old friend of Han Solo's and has a small yet important part of the film. J.J. Abrams did a fantastic job in making this feel like a "Star Wars film." Not only did he pay homage to the originals, but he also forged his own path at the same time with his new cast of characters. We could not be more pleased he didn't screw this up. Talk about a weight lifted from our little geek shoulders! This movie also takes us on a emotional roller coaster. We laughed, we cried, we cheered, we were overjoyed and deeply saddened. As huge fans of the franchise (yes, even some aspects of the prequels), we obviously had high expectations for this film, almost unrealistically high, really, and yet, it managed to be a wonderful, exciting new adventure filled with a wonderful John Williams score, some surprises, some twists, some tenderness, and some good ol' fashioned sci-fi fantasy adventure. We cannot wait until Episode VIII and urge everyone to see this film at least once so you can see what all the fuss is about for yourself.

My Rating: 9.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 9.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

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To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi," click here.

Movie Review: "Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi" (1983)

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Movie: "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi"
Director: Richard Marquand
Year: 1983
Rating: PG
Running Time: 2 hours, 11 minutes

The Empire is constructing a new Death Star, which is currently orbiting the forest moon of Endor. The rebels plan to lead an assault against the Death Star to destroy it before it is operational, but first, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), Leia (Carrie Fisher), Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) must rescue Han Solo (Harrison Ford) from the clutches of the gangster called Jabba the Hutt.

"Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi" caps off one of the greatest trilogies in film history. Now, we will admit, this is a slight step back from the original "Star Wars" and its initial sequel "The Empire Strikes Back," but it's hard to maintain that level of perfection through three movies...hell, doing it through two was hard enough. The movie starts off amazingly strong on Tatooine as our two favorite droids R2-D2 and C-3PO, played again by Kenny Baker and Anthony Daniels, arrive at Jabba the Hutt's palace and are treated to a motley crew of numerous different alien species including our first real look at Jabba the Hutt himself. We say first real look because that digital abomination added into the special edition of "A New Hope" doesn't count because it's awful  and distracting and screw George Lucas. In "Return of the Jedi," Jabba's puppet rendering still looks amazing even 31 years later. In fact, all the make-up looks brilliant and holds up well today apart from the obvious digitally added bullcrap Lucas infested all his masterpieces with on an unknown, inexpiable journey to destroy his legacy. We look at the makeup jobs here and believe characters like Jabba and Bib Fortuna could really exist in real life they are done so well. It's after we leave Tatooine and head to Endor that we see the first real dent in the impenetrable armor of "Star Wars," and that is with the Ewoks. It is in this third installment where a certain level of slapstick humor started to leech into the saga, which usually comes from the aforementioned Ewoks. It's not that we don't love them, because we sort of do, but these creatures make many people absolutely loathe portions of the film. The little bear-like creatures were probably the first characters created and written to appeal directly to children, which when you think about it is scary because the Ewoks ate humans, but that's beside the point. We understand why others don't care for these fuzzy things and don't blame people for having strong opinions about them. Outside of the battle on Endor, there are still some really fantastic things in this film. The Lando Calrissian redemption and subsequent Lando/Admiral Akbar-led assault on the Death Star is a phenomenal sequence, as is Luke's final showdown with Darth Vader and his confrontation with the Emperor. Some truly great lines of dialogue grace this film from writers Lawrence Kasdan (and to a lesser degree George Lucas), from Leia's familiar retort to Han's "I love you" to the infamous "BOBA FETT?!!" line during the battle over the Sarlacc pit to the "He's my brother" revelation from Leia to Han. Each piece of the proverbial puzzle fits to make a worthwhile, entertaining, and memorable end to this cinematic trilogy for the ages. We still love this movie, just a smidgen less than its predecessors, but that doesn't make it bad in the slightness. "Return of the Jedi" brings about exciting, exhilarating finale full of worthy performances, amazing special effects, and a whole lot of sci-fi fantasy adventure.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 80%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back," click here.

Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "The Brothers Bloom" (2009)

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Movie: "The Brothers Bloom"
Director: Rian Johnson
Year: 2008
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 54 minutes

Stephen Bloom (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom Bloom (Adrien Brody) are brothers and con-artists who grew up in foster care. They got started at a young age, but after their latest con, Bloom wants out. Eventually,  Stephen convinces Bloom to do one last big con to steal a million dollars from a wealthy heiress named Penelope (Rachel Weisz). Penelope is a bit of a shut-in, and all Bloom has to do is pretend to fall in love with her. But, if he's not careful, he could wind up actually having feelings for her. 

"The Brothers Bloom" is more of an oddball romantic dark comedy disguised as a con-artist thriller. In fact, it is more of the above description than a film about the con itself. We can't even remember it being marketed at all, which to us signals that it's an indie film. This almost always means there will be some sort of indie humor, indie kitschiness, and/or indie darkness involved. From early on, it sets up Bloom, played by Adrien Brody, as a huge romantic at heart. In their very first con as a child, Bloom is told to pretend to like a girl he actually does likes, but he obviously has to suppress his real feelings or give up the con entirely. This is a theme that runs throughout the entirety of the movie and is the real core crux of the story. Bloom is a character that seems to constantly feel sorry for himself because he can't find true love and is always blaming his brother Stephen, played by Mark Ruffalo, for his lack of a significant other. Stephen, on the other hand, is all about the money and all about the con. Despite his seemingly selfish nature on the surface, he's actually the more selfless of the two brothers. Rachel Weisz takes on the role of Penelope, the Bloom brothers' mark. She is a wealthy heiress who lives an isolated lifestyle, but has learned a lot of skills because of it. These skills include juggling, photography, harp playing, many different languages, etc. She is also the would-be romantic interest of Bloom, though he is only supposed to pretend to like her. Her well-learned but naive nature, however, makes it hard for him not to fall in love for real.

The plot is relatively straightforward and is rather predictable, and for a con artist movie, it's rather short on the twists, turns, and surprises, which makes it pretty boring overall. We wanted to like this movie because of the cast and premise, but the overwhelming lack of oomph and charm, despite its good intentions, just wasn't enough to make what could have been an otherwise fine movie more than average. We never felt fully invested or engaged. The only twist is how dark it turns towards the end of the film, teetering towards more of a dramatic feel. Other than this, there is far too much that's too simple for our liking about "The Brothers Bloom." Though Ruffalo, Brody and Weisz do put on good performances, there is a lot lacking elsewhere and it takes a while to get anywhere of significance in the end, which ultimately made us completely forget this film even existed. It's just sort of expected, and we would have preferred it if it were a bit more interesting and surprising to offset any of the aforementioned long, laborious periods of averageness.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 66%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "Hachi: A Dog's Tale"

Movie Review: "Christmas in Connecticut" (1945)

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Movie: "Christmas in Connecticut"
Director: Peter Godfrey
Year: 1945
Rating: UR
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Elizabeth Lane (Barbara Stanwyck) is a writer for a magazine that authors articles and recipes about her life as a mother and housewife on her farm in Connecticut. In reality, she is a single woman living in a small New York apartment and doesn't even know how to cook. When the magazine's owner asks her to host Christmas dinner for himself and a war veteran, Elizabeth has to fabricate an elaborate ruse and possible even get married to an architect who has been pinning for her in order to hide that her articles are actually works of fiction. 

"Christmas in Connecticut" is a zany romantic comedy that is another more circumstantial Christmas movie. A soldier named Jefferson Jones, played by Dennis Morgan, after 18 days stranded at sea, is forced onto a liquid diet. To get solid food, he makes nice and "goes all the way" with a nurse named Mary Lee, played by Joyce Compton, so she will give him a steak. After recovering, he tries to break it off by saying he's not the family type. To show him how great a nice home and family are, she writes to a magazine owner named Alexander Yardley, played by Sydney Greenstreet, and asks him to have one of his writers, Elizabeth Lane, played by Barbara Stanwyck, a woman who writes about her family life at a farm in Connecticut, to have Jefferson over for Christmas dinner. There is just one problem: Elizabeth isn't married and lives in a New York apartment, not a farm in Connecticut, but her overbearing boss won't take 'no' for an answer and of course, chaos ensues. An architect named John Sloan has proposed to Elizabeth multiple times in the past and now the opportunity has come for him to save her, provided she marry him, because, you know, desperate obligation is a great way to start a marriage, are we right? Once everyone arrives at John's farm in Connecticut, a lot of silliness goes on as John and Elizabeth secretly try to get married but are constantly interrupted or off-put by the notion. Elizabeth also borrows a baby that she passes off as her own, but halfway through the ordeal, she has to switch it for another child with different hair color and gender, which starts to certainly raise suspicion. She also has hide the fact she can't cook while a giant dinner is made. The main meat of this story involved the romantic aspect between Elizabeth and Jefferson, who begin to fall for each other despite Jefferson thinking she is married to John. A lot of humorous banter about infidelity happens between them, and as we watch these older movies more frequently, we find that infidelity is a common theme to be joked about or done. Overall, the acting is pretty good in this film and it is quite charming when it wants to be. Sydney Greenstreet gets a couple of great lines in there with a zing-zang-zoom attached to his hearty voice. Barbara Stanwyck is excellent and has a fluffy personality to go along with her downfalls. There are some genuinely funny moments that still make us laugh even though it's a 60+ years old flick. It's a pretty good holiday movie, but not likely one we'll revisit anytime soon since the majority of it is more romcom than holiday fare.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 88%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "Joyeux Noel"

Two years ago, we were watching: "It's A Wonderful Life"

Movie Review: "Happy Christmas" (2014)

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Movie: "Ernest Saves Christmas"
Director: Joe Swanberg
Year: 2014
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

A woman named Jenny (Anna Kendrick) breaks up with her boyfriend and moves back to Chicago to live with her brother Jeff (Joe Swanberg) and his wife Kelly (Melanie Lynskey).

We're all for an R-rated Christmas movie every now and then, so long as it's actually a good film.

"Happy Christmas" is not a good movie.

The first thing you need to know about "Happy Christmas" is that it's almost entirely improvised and boy oh boy does it feels like it. We did not know this going into the film, but after watching it for about 15 minutes, we started to wonder, "what the hell is wrong with the dialogue here? Is this all improvised?" So, we actually stopped the movie to look up this information, and lo and behold, we were right. It's improvised! For some unknown reason, critics eat this kind of crap up, and that seems to be the case with this movie. For the average moviegoer, this can be an arduous, tortuous experience like it was for us. "Happy Christmas" is boring. Everything about it is dull, even the performances. It drudges by like a sloth walking through the sand while dragging a 50 pound weight through its extremely short run time. The most interesting thing to happen in an hour and 22 minutes is when Jenny, played by Anna Kendrick, accidentally burns a pizza after passing out drunk, setting off the smoke alarm and waking up her brother and sister-in-law. This scene happens an hour and ten minutes into the movie, which means literally nothing happens until 12 minutes before the film is set to end. Next, you'd think a movie called "Happy Christmas" would actually have something to do with, well, Christmas. This is a circumstantial Christmas movie in the loosest sense of the phrase. Even "Die Hard" is more Christmas-y than this garbage movie. Without the film's December setting in the days leading up to Christmas day, and without any occasional quip about presents from our snarky or bitter protagonists, and without one conversation about a Christmas tree/decorating it with lights/some supplemental background shot of said tree, this would never be considered a holiday flick. We would typically describe what we watcher here as a slice of life film or a character sketch, but it's hardly either. There is a lot of inane chatter filling up the minutes like a drudgery as we hear Anna Kendrick's Jenny say "like" 1,700 times in each sentence, as we watch her gets wasted a couple times, smoke some weed with her new hookup/boyfriend/who knows and has casual sex with him and at least one other person, but there's not really much else. The fact that "Happy Christmas" has such high ratings and praise from critics is ridiculous and shows how the off-script, rambling, vacuous words of troubled millennials really make their collective panties drop. Where some see a pioneering piece of art, we see a plodding, lifeless movie about a bunch of whiners who need to snap out of their self-inflicted funk. We are usually big fans of Anna Kendrick, but this film really missed the mark for us. It looks more like a home movie than it does a feature film, which doesn't work at all and isn't a good thing. Avoid this one at all costs.

My Rating: 2.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 2/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 75%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
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One year ago, we were "White Christmas"

Two years ago, we were watching: "A Christmas Story"

Movie Review: "The Santa Clause 2" (2002)

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Movie: "The Santa Clause 2"
Director: Michael Lembeck
Year: 2002
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

Santa (Tim Allen) is having a bad year. He has just found out his son is on the naughty list and that he must get married before Christmas or will he face losing his position as Santa. He heads to his hometown to solve these issues, leaving a toy Santa in charge, who wreaks havoc on the North Pole. 

Nearly a decade after the fairly well received original "The Santa Clause," Tim Allen returns as Santa himself in "The Santa Clause 2." The original "The Santa Clause" taught us the importance of commercialism in Christmas and how it's all about receiving the perfect gift that you always wanted, which is what inspires the Christmas spirit in all of us. *sigh* This sequel doubles down on the notion that the receiving a perfect gift is what brings joy to us all on this special holiday. It also follows up with the importance of being married, because apparently if Santa isn't married, he loses his magic and can't be Santa??? What the hell were the writers of this movie thinking?? Scott, aka Santa, uses his Santa magic to convince his son's school principal to fall in love with him. WTF? From here, "The Santa Clause 2" becomes less of a holiday film and more of a romantic comedy with the typical, expected formula and a host of Christmas related items thrown in for good measure. At first, Scott and Carol, played by Elizabeth Mitchell, meet and don't like each other. Next, they find the have some type of common ground, which leads to a series of grand, romantic yet manipulative gestures all to make them fall in love. Within 2 minutes of them falling in love, Scott and Carol have a falling out as truths are revealed, and then finally, there is the ultimate reconciliation. Meanwhile, Scott's son has been acting out and getting in trouble...why, you ask? Because he can't handle the burden and pressure of not being able to tell people how great it is that his father is Santa Claus. Talk about a first world problem! As all of this is going on in Scott's hometown, back at the North Pole, a robotic Santa clone takes over in a very Gestapo-esque manner as toy soldiers come to life and literally do Nazi walks and salutes. Sieg heil, children! This fake Santa believes all kids should be on the Naughty List and that they should all be getting coal instead of gifts, which in reality is probably closer to the truth under the most strict guidelines, because seriously, what kid/person is ever genuinely nice 100% of the time each and every year?

Needless to say, "The Santa Clause 2" has a lot more bad than good. Sure, Tim Allen does a fine enough job reprising his role of Santa Claus, but good lord, the message this film has to offer takes a drastic turn away from mindless humor this time around. Yes, giving and receiving presents is part of the Christmas holiday in modern society, it's unavoidable, but it's not the whole Christmas holiday, do you know what we mean? Banking all of your relationships on monetary values, gifts, boxes, and presents is just stupid, and this film makes sure its viewers know that presents make you more of a likable person. The scene where Scott gives all of Carol's teachers and administrative staff gifts at the faculty Christmas party only serves to prove how, instead of actually getting to know Carol and in an effort to save himself, Scott manipulates her by using his magic to give her everything she ever wanted, from snow falling to a horse-drawn sleigh and the gifts she wanted as a child. This is not the worst Christmas movie we have ever seen, but as wiser adults, we guess we could say we have been pretty critical of what we like in and about our Christmas movies. We're not one to pick apart family films like this, but the frankly backward sentiment here is too much to ignore. "The Santa Clause 2" may be seen as harmless enough, but is it really? Its venture into rom-com territory has made is predictable, and with all the negative elements working against it, plus some outrageously bad and campy CGI, we won't be adding this to our re-watch list any time soon.

My Rating: 4.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 55%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.
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One year ago, we were watching: "Fred Claus"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"

Movie Review: "Ernest Saves Christmas" (1988)

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Movie: "Ernest Saves Christmas"
Director: John R. Cherry III
Year: 1988
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

Santa Claus (Douglas Seale) is set to retire and has come to Orlando, Florida to seek out his replacement. He plans to pass his magic to a children's show host names Joe Carruthers (Oliver Clark). Santa is having more trouble than expected as many people assume he is just an insane old rambling man, which lands him locked up for vagrancy. So taxi driver, Christmas lover, and true believer in Santa Claus, Ernest P. Worrall (Jim Varny) comes to his aid.

Jim Varny is Ernest P. Worrell in "Ernest Saves Christmas." For those unfamiliar with the character of Ernest, he was first conceived for and appeared in television commercials for various different products. His catchphrases "Hey Vern" an "knowwhatImean" became part of the lexicon for 80's children everywhere. The popularity of this marketing icon landed him a television series, though it was short lived, and a series of relatively low budget comedy films. Since BigJ grew up with him and I didn't, I seriously don't get the appeal of Ernest and really don't like him as a character. The comedy stylings of Ernest involve making numerous funny expressions with his rubber-like face, and his often good intentions that result in a series rather destructive slapstick gags. Ernest also occasionally dons a disguise, trying out many different characters and voices from a buxom old woman in a neck brace to a grimy, slack-jawed snake handler. His humor, and of course his films, are clearly meant to appeal to the elementary school aged kids and younger. Very little of what Ernest does will appeal to an adult crowd, leaving most to simply tolerate the film until its conclusion with maybe an occasional chuckle at the sheer absurdity of it all. The film does at least try to capture the Christmas spirit the best it can and portrays a good message about being honest and kind to others throughout its run time, but it's simply not enough. Some people give a pass to kids movies, saying they only have to appeal to children, but let's be honest, most of the time, kids like crap. There are two types of kids movies: those you enjoyed as a kid and can still enjoy as an adult, and those you enjoyed as a kid but watch as an adult and think, "how did I ever really like this?" Unfortunately, "Ernest  Saves Christmas," and pretty much all of his films, fall into the latter category. It's plain and simple, crap at its best. Not worth a watch, unfunny, and though the Christmas spirit and heart is in the right place, we simply cannot overlook all the awful, sub-par humor Ernest has to offer.

My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 38%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
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One year ago, we were watching: "The Muppet Christmas Carol"

Two years ago, we were watching: "The Polar Express"

Weekend Box Office Results: December 18th, 2015 - December 20th, 2015

"Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens" breaks records, epically annihilates the competition

*all numerical information provided by boxofficemojo.com

As expected, "Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens" broke records and nerd hearts everywhere with its amazing, incredible 7th installment of the franchise. J.J. Abrams did fans proud with his take on the galactic space opera, pulling in an insane, record breaking $238,000,000 million domestically and $517 million globally. WOW! In a very, very, very distant second place was the "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip," which made $14,400,000 in its debut weekend. In third place this weekend was "Sisters," another newcomer to the charts, the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler comedy, which made an estimated $13,417,860. In fourth place this weekend was "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2," which dropped 3 spots after a month on top by making $5,650,000. Finally, rounding out the top 5 was "Creed," which added $5,085,000 to its nearly $90 million domestic total gross. Let's see how high Star Wars can fly!!

		This Week	Domestic Gross
1	Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force  Awakens	$238,000,000	$238,000,000
2	Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road  Chip	$14,400,000	$14,400,000
3	Sisters	$13,417,860	$13,417,860
4	The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part  2	$5,650,000	$254,438,774
5	Creed	$5,085,000	$87,900,073
6	The Good Dinosaur	$4,305,000	$96,619,068
7	Krampus	$3,781,745	$34,812,400
8	In the Heart of the Sea	$3,465,000	$18,600,095
9	Dilwale	$1,875,000	$1,875,000
10	Bajirao Mastain	$1,660,000	$1,660,000

**See you at the movies!!**

Movie Review: "A Christmas Carol" (1999)

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Movie: "A Christmas Carol"
Director: David Jones
Year: 1999
Rating: UR
Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

Ebenezer Scrooge (Patrick Stewart) is a greedy man who runs a counting house and only cares of money and profit. He has no desire to offer charity or to help or be with his fellow man, even on Christmas, which he believes to be a humbug. One Christmas eve night, he is visited by the ghost of his old business partner Jacob Marley (Bernard Lloyd), who shows Ebenezer the torturous fate that awaits him if he doesn't change his ways. Jacob offers Scrooge a chance at redemption in being visited by three spirits who will show him the true meaning of Christmas.

Charles Dickens' classic tale has been adapted many times over the decades, so much so that it is probably the single most recognizable Christmas story ever written, outside of the nativity. Every year since starting lololovesfilms.com, we have done a 12 days of Christmas marathon, and each year, we have reviewed a different version of "A Christmas Carol," and we are in no danger of running out of adaptations anytime soon. This time around, Patrick Stewart fills the role of Ebenezer Scrooge in this made-for-TV version of the classic holiday ghost story. Being made for TV, the production values and special effects here aren't exactly top notch. Of course, none of the other or older film versions had much in the way of special effects at all. This is a pretty straightforward adaptation, keeping most the original dialogue. It doesn't bring much new or different other than a couple scenes from the book that are often left out of other versions. It feels very much like a stage play in the way it's performed, but that could be because of the man who plays Scrooge. That being said, this is still a rather enjoyable adaptation, primarily because the source material is so good, well, that and the fact that we like Patrick Stewart. He might not look like the typical Ebenezer Scrooge, but he sure as hell sounds like him! His verbose, ominous, deep voice is like butter uttering Dickens's lines, taking a commanding role as Scrooge. His performance is great, and we totally believe him as a man who both hates Christmas and giving in the beginning and reforms his ways towards the end of the movie.

This is a story that can really inspire the Christmas spirit right down to your very core. It reminds us of the importance of caring for your fellow man all the days of the year, not just at but especially around Christmas. "A Christmas Carol" shows it caring and love and joy are more important than monetary gain and wealth, and that giving to others and being kind to others is what Christmas is truly all about. If you are trying to get in the Christmas spirit, though it starts out spooky, stick with "A Christmas Carol" because it is a good way to get the mood right in your heart and soul no matter which version you watch.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, we were watching: "Christmas with the Cranks"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Scrooged"

Movie Review: "One Magic Christmas" (1985)

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Movie: "One Magic Christmas"
Director: Phillip Borsos
Year: 1985
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

An angel named Gideon (Harry Dean Stanton) is sent to Earth to restore a cynical woman named Ginny's (Mary Steenburgen) Christmas cheer.

Released in theaters in 1985, "One Magic Christmas" is a very much forgotten live action Disney film. Like the vast majority of Christmas movies, it never went on to become a holiday classic and has simply faded away into obscurity over the years. We say this knowing it had never been in either of our households growing up and neither of us had even heard of this film until looking for Christmas movies to fill our annual holiday marathon. The basic premise here appears to be at least inspired by, if not blatantly ripped off from "It's a Wonderful Life." An angel named Gideon, played by Harry Dean Stanton, is tasked with showing a woman named Ginny, played by Mary Steenburgen, a down on her luck mother and at the moment sole breadwinner for her family, the true meaning of Christmas, and to restore her Christmas spirit. Ginny's Husband Jack, played by Gary Basaraba, has just been laid off from his job and his family is being evicted from their company-owned home just days before Christmas. Understandably, with the stress of being evicted, having to find a new place to live, packing up all their belongings, and having to work extra hours due to the holiday, Ginny doesn't exactly feel like wishing people a Merry Christmas and is a bit snippy with her family and even her customers, too. Gideon the angel has an idea of how he can restore Ginny's holiday cheer: by showing her, with the help of her young daughter Abbie, played by Elisabeth Harnois, that things could always be worse. In turn, Gideon makes Ginny experience some of the worst things imaginable in the hopes that she will start to appreciate what she has instead of complaining about how bad her life is right now. The things Gideon puts Ginny and her family through are way, way out of the Christmas spirit, and though there is a bit of a redemption towards the end of the film,along with an appearance from Santa, the jump this film makes to get to its lesson is staggering. As audience members, watching a film like "It's a Wonderful Life" really drives home just how important each and every person really is in the grand scheme of life, even though George Bailey basically gets erased to make him appreciate what he's got. In "One Magic Christmas," we could think of a dozen different ways Gideon could make Ginny regain her holiday spirit without taking the extreme measures this film takes. At the end of it all, instead of being restored in our faith as believers and lover of Christmas, we were left scratching our heads and wondering who the hell thought this would make a good idea for a Christmas lesson. It seems more like masochistic punishment with a minor redemption story than a greeting of yuletide cheer. After seeing this movie, we can understand why it quickly dropped off the map and moved away from the "classic" Christmas film status because it's not well constructed, only halfway decently acted, and pretty hard to watch. We left the TV room feeling worse than we did when we began watching "One Magic Christmas," which was pretty crappy on its own.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 50%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, we were watching: "Jack Frost"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Miracle on 34th Street"

Movie Review: "Edward Scissorhands" (1990)

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Movie: "Edward Scissorhands"
Director: Tim Burton
Year: 1990
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 45 minutes

An Avon lady named Peg (Dianne Wiest) goes to an old mansion on the outskirts of her town looking to sell her wares. There, she finds a lonely young man with scissors for hands named Edward (Johnny Depp). She takes pity on him and takes him into her home to live with her family where he quickly becomes the talk of the gossipy town. 

"Edward Scissorhands" is Tim Burton's fourth feature length theatrical release and his first time working with eventual long time collaborator Johnny Depp, who fills the titular role of Edward. Tim Burton is said to have two styles of directing: dark and fancifully twisted, and quirky and colorful. "Edward Scissorhands" successfully combines both of these styles in one movie with Edward and his home serving as the dark, twisted style, and the neighboring town draped in a quirky and colorful look. We personally love Burton's style and enjoy the majority of his movies, especially his early works. This film is one of our favorites and a choice to throw in the blu-ray player and watch during the holiday season, even if it's only a circumstantial Christmas movie. Johnny Depp is fantastic in this film and his performance earned him a Golden Globe nomination. The make-up work and his mannerisms make him almost unrecognizable, and his performance and look still hold up extremely well today. With his limited dialogue, most of which is timid and subdued, he carries most of his performance through physical action and facial expressions. There are some other great, often funny performances from Dianne Wiest and Alan Arkin, who play Edward's "parents" away from his castle home. There are also some interesting, humorous performances by the looky-loo, gossipy chatterbox neighbors in the small town where Edward winds up. Visually, "Edward Scissorhands" is brilliant. From the aforementioned juxtaposition between colorful and dark to the makeup and hair styles used in this film, we love the beauty Burton implemented here. The scene where Kim, played by Winona Ryder, dances in the snow created by Edward's ice sculpture? Holy cow. It's so simple, yet so elegantly gorgeous. The story, too, is a simple one, but is told in an imaginative way that evokes a terrific emotional response from the audience. For us, this gripping emotional response is one of the most important aspects we look for when we watch movies. Without it, it might end up being pretty weird, and don't get us wrong, it is weird, but in a good, off-the-wall way. This is one of our favorite Burton/Depp collaborations. It is magical, strange, and at its heart, sweet. Though it's not a blatant Christmas film, it's enough to notice the holiday in the background.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 8.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 89%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, we were watching: "Gremlins"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Die Hard"

Movie Review: "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back" (1980)

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Movie: "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back"
Director: Irvin Kershner
Year: 1980
Rating: PG
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

After the Empire discovers and attacks the rebel's secret base on the ice planet Hoth, the rebels flee to find a new base of operation. Darth Vader and his fleet pursue the Millennium Falcon, which is carrying Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) in the hopes of capturing Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill). Meanwhile, Luke and R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) head to the Dagobah system to seek out the Jedi master named Yoda so he can continue his training.

"Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back" is our overall favorite film is the "Star Wars" saga, as well as one of our favorite movies in general. This film is 35 years old and we still get excited each and every time we watch it, even today. The second installment in this series seems far more character driven than the original, not that "A New Hope" lacked strong characters in the slightest. Here, we get more insight into the character of Luke Skywalker, played a bit more maturely by Mark Hamill, and what the Jedi are fully capable of as Yoda is introduced into the series as an unlikely Jedi master. Luke spends a good portion of the film on the Dagobah system, the swampy marshland where Yoda lives and where Luke crash landed. Elsewhere, Han and Leia's relationship really starts to develop, too, as they eventually confess their love for one another in a really sarcastic but tender first kiss scene. Lando Calrissian also makes his first appearance, suave and powerful but untrustworthy, as does Boba Fett, the elusive bounty hunter with a kick ass outfit. We also get much more insight into Darth Vader himself and his relationship with Luke. Each actor plays their part different and more maturely as we get a more in-depth look at each of their futures within the series.

"The Empire Strikes Back" takes a much darker tone as the Empire starts to gain the upper hand against the rebellion and continues on to a much more somber conclusion than its predecessor. To go along with all of this great character driven story, there are some excellent action sequences with great special effects that still hold up today. The battle on Hoth is awesome as the Imperial At-Ats battle against rebel speeders on the frozen tundra. Then, of course, there is the big lightsaber duel between Vader and Luke, which is great fun with one of the most humongous reveals in cinematic history. We love this movie and it will always be one of our favorites.

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
~~~~~~~~~~

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi," click here.

Movie Review: "Jingle All the Way" (1996)

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Movie: "Jingle All the Way"
Director: Brian Levant
Year: 1996
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has been really wrapped up in his work lately, so much so, he forgot to pick up the new Turbo Man action figure for his son's (Jake Lloyd) Christmas present. Now, on Christmas Eve, Howard sets out on a desperate search to locate the highly popular gift item that is, of course, sold out everywhere.

"Jingle All the Way" is a Christmas comedy that shows what desperate lengths people will go to and how low the population may stoop in order to get that perfect, popular gift for their children. In the tradition of toys like The Cabbage Patch doll and Tickle Me Elmo, Turbo Man is the most popular toy of the Christmas season in this film, and some people are willing to step on their own mother to get one. This is most certainly the case for Howard Langston, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and his foe in commerce Myron Larabee, played by Sinbad, who came from out of nowhere to act for once. Howard has been really busy with work lately, and as a result, he has been neglecting his son Jamie, played by Jake Lloyd. Howard hopes that getting his son the ultimate, perfect Christmas gift will make up for all the times he was too busy to spend time here or there with his son. Of course, since he waited until the last minute to get the Turbo Man doll for Jamie, all this leads to the desperate chaos we constantly see on the news during the post-Black Friday reports where a grown man is filmed pushing over a child to get his hands on a rice cooker being sold at 75% off. In this case, the item in question is far more difficult to find than a rice cooker. In their quest to obtain the unobtainable, the holy grail of Christmas presents, both Howard and Myron kick, punch, bite, and scratch their way through crowds and crowds of people and often resort to despicable, sometimes illegal acts to get their hopeless hands on the toy, up to including an act of terrorism. All of these normally deplorable acts of savagery are played up for comedic value as the violence is all mostly cartoonish and over-the-top in nature. There are some laughs to be had here, but this movie is very silly, much more goofy than seriously funny.

Wanting your kid/kids to have the perfect Christmas present is admirable, there's no doubt about that, but stepping on the heads of strangers and pushing elderly women down to get said present isn't the most endearing quality in a human person. We don't really know if there is ever a time where we really want Howard (or Myron for that matter) to succeed in his task because the actions to get what he wanted were less than that of the proper Christmas spirit. In the end, for some off reason, "Jingle All the Way" is slightly endearing. No one in this movie puts on a stellar performance and the material the actors have to work with is not all that great. Maybe it's just Schwarzenegger's goofy and exaggerated performance coupled with his iconic accent, but we still don't hate this movie at the end of the day.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 17%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, we were watching: "The Family Stone"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Elf"

Movie Review: "Deck the Halls" (2006)

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Movie: "Deck the Halls"
Director: John Whitesell
Year: 2006
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 33 minutes

Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) loves Christmas family traditions. Unfortunately, Steve's boisterous new neighbor Buddy Hall's (Danny DeVito) over-the-top style of decorating puts a damper on Steve's Christmas spirit. 

Deck the halls of big ol' NOPE-ys. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ughhhhh, ugh, UGH, UGH, UGH.

Sometimes we wonder to ourselves while we're watching movies like "Deck the Halls," do the actors know the movie they are making is complete and utter shit? Did anyone involved in this movie, the writers, the director, the producers, did anyone pay attention and realize it was not only shit, but shit that shouldn't have been made in the first place? This is supposedly a Christmas movie where the two main characters are wholly unlikable people right off the bat. Steve Finch, played by Matthew Broderick, is an optometrist and is known as Mr. Christmas around his small town. When the house across the street from his is leased to a man named Buddy Hall, played by Danny DeVito, he immediately rubs Steve the wrong way, mainly because Steve seems to have a perpetual stick up his ass, but then again, when does Matthew Broderick play a normal, centered character who wants to have fun (apart from Ferris Bueller a hundred years ago)? Steve loves sticking to his regular yearly traditions, and even the slightest deviation from these traditions and plans seems to throw his entire life into chaotic and irreversible turmoil. When Buddy finds out that his house doesn't show up on the website called MyEarth, this movie's knockoff Google Earth because not even Google wanted to be associated with this piece of garbage, Buddy's massive inferiority complex kicks in and he decides to create a light display that is so bright, so grandiose, so unbelievably largess that it's visible from space. This upsets Steve to no end because to him Buddy's light display is an eyesore and a blight on his perfect little town, even though everyone else except for Steve seems to love the lights and festive decor. In turn, Steve starts a ridiculous feud with Buddy that leads to all sorts of stupid shenanigans and felonies, but seem to get ignored in the end.

Let us start by saying, since this is a comedy, we expected to laugh at least a little. The jokes in this movie are eye-rollingly bad. We never thought it was possible to physically hurt from rolling our eyes so much, and maybe we were just tired on top of it, but good lord, our eye sockets felt sore after watching "Deck the Halls." Not only are the jokes unfunny, but they can often be divisive and revolting, too. Included in this film is a scene where Steve is so disgusted by the fact the police chief might be wearing woman's undergarments, he refuses to fill out a police report. What? This is bizarre at best, but it only gets worse from here. There is another scene where Steve and Buddy stumble upon a performance where three female dancers, backs turned to the audience, are shaking around in sexy Santa outfits on stage. These two old men proceed to cat call the girls from the audience, which is already a crappy thing to do in any situation, but then they proceeded to shout, "Who's your daddy!?!" only for the girls to turn around and actually be Steve and Buddy's 15 year old daughters. Then, and we shit you not, upon realizing he is a disgusting pervert, Steve exclaims, "Oh, I'm your daddy!" Holy shit! Who the fuck thought that was a good joke!? Right there, we wanted to turn this movie off. We can (and do) watch a lot of stuff in movies that can be uncomfortable. This is one of the worst things we have ever seen. This is a FAMILY COMEDY. No part of this scene is family friendly, and it's especially not funny. It is disgusting and wrong, even for a joke. The movie tries to redeem itself in the end by tacking on a spirit of Christmas "love thy neighbor" type of message, but by then, it's too late. This crammed in sentiment is not enough to make it be any good, and it's so contrived anyway, all we can do is shake our heads at how bad the whole experience watching this movie was. From the piss poor acting to the terribly written script, avoid "Deck the Halls" like 10,000 plagues infested with chlamydia.

My Rating: 1/10
BigJ's Rating: 1/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 6%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, we were watching: "Bad Santa"

Two years ago, we were watching: "Love Actually"

Oscar Movie Review: "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope" (1977)

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Movie: "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope"
Year Nominated: 1978
Director: George Lucas
Rating: PG
Running Time: 2 hours, 1 minutes
Did It Win?: No.

Two droids called C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) and R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) seek out an old Jedi named Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) to deliver him a message from Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), a plea for help to assist her father and the rebellion in the battle against the totalitarian Galactic Empire. Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), the son of Obi-Wan's former student Anakin Skywalker, joins Obi-Wan on his quest with the help of a smuggler named Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and his colleague Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew).  

Every so often, a movie comes along that changes the way we look at film and raises the bar for what is possible to be brought to life on screen. "Star Wars" is one of those movies, but more than any film in history, "Star Wars" did not just change cinema, it changed global popular culture for generations to come. This is the one that started it all and introduced everyone to what would become the Star Wars universe. When George Lucas set out to make Star Wars, which has now been dubbed "Episode IV - A New Hope," nobody, including the studio, thought much of this movie or had any idea that it would become the global phenomenon that it did. It was just a simple space opera and intergalactic adventure with great characters, an interesting mythology, and special effects like no one had ever seen up until that point. For us, the story might be simple by today's standards, but the special effects hold up very well today and often look better than many movies which came after it.

From R2-D2 to Han Solo, from the Death Star to Tusken raiders, from Princess Leia to Grand Moff Tarkin, each and every single piece of the puzzle fits perfectly together to create an epic, legendary force in both pop culture and cinematic history. As we watch Luke Skywalker, played by Mark Hamill, become the Jedi he was destined to be, training and learning the ways of the Force, we want to be him so desperately when he wields a lightsaber and flies in a X-Wing. As we watch Han Solo, played by Harrison Ford, and Princess Leia Organa, played by Carrie Fisher, fall in love, it makes us remember that love is possible, even in a galaxy far, far away. Remember, all of these three main characters were played by newcomer actors, which is insane to think about now as Harrison Ford went on to play Indian Jones and Mark Hamill has become a huge voice actor. As we watch Obi-Wan Kenobi be the master we have come to love, all of the adventures and battles that seem endless and entertaining, and the joy we get each time we see someone fight or escape or win a battle makes us happy inside and out.

What else is there to say that hasn't already been said? "Star Wars" is one of our favorite movies and the original trilogy is one of the best film franchises in cinema history. The characters have become idolized over the years, cemented in the cosmos as quintessential heroes and notorious villains with new and odd species of aliens and droids, fascinating landscapes and planets, and vehicles we wish existed in real life. The story and its subsequent canon has opened up an entire new world of possibilities for the franchise, and fans of the film have been made for generations with moviegoers showing their children and their children's children "Star Wars," shaping new lives and minds while making new fans.

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 94%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back," click here.

To see our review of "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi," click here.