Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Movie Review: "Snatched" (2017)

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Director: Jonathan Levine
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

After being dumped by her boyfriend, Emily is stuck with a pair of non-refundable tickets to Ecuador. With no other options, she decides to take her homebody of a mother with her instead. Once there, Emily is seduced by a man who leads the two women into being kidnapped and are held hostage. With no money and the fear of being killed looming overhead, the two must escape their captors and find their way home through South America.

"Snatched" is directed by Jonathan Levine, who is known for films like "The Night Before," "50/50," and "The Wackness." It is written by Katie Dippold, who has written screenplays for "The Heat" and "Ghostbusters (2016)." It stars current Hollywood comedy darling Amy Schumer, who plays Emily Middleton, a character that is exactly like every other character Schumer has ever played. In this respect, she's akin to someone like Adam Sandler. Joining her is Goldie Hawn, who takes her first live action acting role in 15 years and plays Emily's overly cautious, homebody mother Linda. Also in the film are Ike Barinholtz, Wanda Sykes, Joan Cusack, Tom Bateman, Christopher Meloni, and Oscar Jaenada. When Emily gets dumped by her rocker boyfriend, she winds up having to go on vacation with her mom because she can't find anyone else to go with her. Once in Ecuador, Emily meets an exotic hunk who dupes her and Linda into being kidnapped. The ladies have to escape through the jungle and find their way to the U.S. Embassy, and hilarity ensues...well, not really.

Amy Schumer has never been one to shy away from the crass and the crude. In "Trainwreck," which we enjoyed, she acts the same way, but her performance and the movie as a whole actually made us laugh, much to our dismay. Schumer has made a career out of telling jokes about sex and the fact that women have unflattering bodily functions just like men. Guess what? This includes farting and having a vagina that possibly smells like soup, you know, the usual! If this sounds like your type of humor, "Snatched" may be right up your alley because both of these jokes are actually in the movie. Yes, one of the gags is that Emily farts in bed next to her mom and blames it on a hotel's handcrafted towel swan.

Like most red-blooded Americans, there are times when we can enjoy the occasional fart joke as long as it's well timed and within the right context. Unfortunately, most of "Snatched" involves the opposite of a funny joke. It's full of toilet humor and embarrassing cringe comedy that falls completely flat for us the majority of the time. Most of the dialogue and the quips we see coming and aren't clever in the slightest. We snickered a few times and had maybe one genuine laugh out loud guffaw, but the rest of the time, BigJ and I sat in silence in a completely empty theater embarrassed for not only Schumer, but for Goldie Hawn as well. Hawn and Schumer work fine together as clingy mother and desperate daughter, but they clearly only signed off on this movie for the paycheck. We know they both have talent and have liked some of their past works, so it's a damn shame the material they are working with in "Snatched" is poorly made and criminally unfunny. It's a string of clicks, pops, and "69 my mom" jokes until the credits roll. Skip this one.

My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 3.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 36%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

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  1. "my vagina smells like soup when I'm drunk"

    1. You should probably get that checked out, son.

  2. This review has many grammatical errors. How do you write for a living? If you want to be a well read reviewer, clean up your sentence structure!

    1. Sometimes, errors slip through our fingers and we miss them! With constructive criticism like yours, we are always improving. Ah, to be human! Thank you for the comment.