Wednesday, February 19, 2020

TOP 10 WORST MOVIES OF 2019

Photo: collage of lololovesfilms's picks for the top 10 worst movies of 2019
We fully recognize that not every movie we see is going to be great, but some films are so bad that it bears repeating so other people don't have to suffer through them like we did.

Without further ado, here's our list of the TOP 10 WORST MOVIES OF 2019! Do you agree with this list? What were your least favorite films of 2019? Let us know, we'd love to compare!


Photo: Kiernan Shipka and Stanley Tucci star in Netflix's original film The Silence, one of the worst movies of 2019
10. "The Silence" - If you're watching a movie and you start picking it apart from within the first few minutes until the credits roll, you know you're in trouble. "The Silence" is "A Quiet Place"-light. It's a dull, annoying horror-thriller with a dreadful script that's so sloppily written that solves its own problem more than once within its narrative. There are so many contrived moments and plot holes that contradict established rules within the universe from scene to scene that it made our heads spin. It's full of paper-thin, one-dimensional characters who remain squeaky-clean even during the apocalypse. Netflix has chosen to back a lot of bad movies in 2019, and this was one of them.
Photo: Netflix's "Falling Inn Love" (2019) stars Adam Demos and Christina Milian in New Zealand
9. "Falling Inn Love" - This movie is a predictable Lifetime channel-style romance complete with a punny title. That in and of itself would be okay given the right talent and a solid script, but Netflix's "Falling Inn Love" has terrible acting and a garbage-goofball script, as well as poor construction and awful slapstick.
Photo: Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway star in The Hustle (2019)
8. "The Hustle" - Anne Hathaway has been unfairly criticized in the past. However, everyone involved in the remake of a remake that is "The Hustle" is fair game. What an epic misfire in every conceivable way. Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson lack the chemistry necessary to make a comedy like this work. The script is painfully unfunny, and there's no freshness to it at all. Also, Wilson is back to doing her regressive, self-deprecating fat jokes yet again, and we're so, so sick of it. This movie straight-up stinks.
Photo: "The Beach Bum," starring Matthew McConaughey, is one of the worst movies of 2019
7. "The Beach Bum" - We were thoroughly disappointed by the unfocused mess that is "The Beach Bum." This film struggled to maintain our interest during its brief 90-minute runtime. It's a character sketch about a character with no arc and who learns nothing. Got it. Some will see genius, we merely see jumbled, self-indulgent pretension.
Photo: Francesca Hayward stars in "Cats," one of the worst movies ever made
6. "Cats" - Digital Fur Technology is the stuff of nightmares, and it never should have seen the light of day. As creepy as the animal-human hybrids look, it's the lack of a narrative where "Cats" truly, spectacularly fails. We have so many questions. We've seen the movie and still can't figure out what the fuck a Jellicle Cat is, and at this point, we don't even want to know. At least watching this drivel provided us with one of our best movie reviews ever.
Photo: Keanu Reeves stars in "Replicas," one of the worst movies of 2019
5. "Replicas" - There weren't enough pods. Next.
Photo: Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral was one of the worst movies of 2019

4. "A Madea Family Funeral" - We know that deep down inside, Tyler Perry has it in him to make a solid movie. "A Madea Family Funeral" isn't it. It's a film about infidelity and death that's trying to have it both ways by being a goofball comedy and a heavy-hitting drama. Unfortunately, it's full of unfunny, dated, sexist humor, all of which is mixed with toxic, melodramatic plot points that don't naturally flow or make a lick of sense when offset by the jokes. It's also poorly shot, terribly edited, and miserably acted.
Photo: One of the worst movies of 2019 is Playing With Fire starring John Cena, Keegan-Michael Key, and John Leguizamo
3. "Playing With Fire" - If the goal of "Playing With Fire" was to make us hate children, mission accomplished! Who thought projectile feces and running jokes about Spam were a good idea? On the bright side, the writers *did* manage to sneak a FUPA joke into a family film, so yay for them? We only laughed once during this torture-fest.
Photo: "Polaroid," which is now available to watch on Netflix, was one of the worst films of 2019
2. "Polaroid" - Until we sat down to make our worst movies of 2019 list, we forgot that the insufferably boring, poorly lit, cutaway-infested, one-dimensional, painfully generic PG-13 horror flick known as"Polaroid" even existed. It's such a waste of time and celluloid, and it does nothing to set itself apart from the myriad other generic horror films just like it as it recycles the same tired horror narrative we've seen thousands of times in the past to a tortuously tedious degree. It's not worth your time to check this one out, so you may just want to take our word for it.
Netflix original film Secret Obsession, starring Brenda Song and Mike Vogel, tops the list of the worst movies of 2019
1. "Secret Obsession" - Netflix's "Secret Obsession" is the kind of "bad" that will leave you wondering, "is this a joke?" Were the makers of this motion picture actively, legitimately trying to make a horrendously dreadful movie? It's predictable as hell, there is no tension, there is no enigma, there are no thrills, there is no good acting (seriously, a room full of mannequins could have done better), there is no good story, there is no good anything. There are only laughs, so, so many laughs, not "haha that was funny" laughs, but "HAHAHAHA WE CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GOT MADE" laughs. It has an incredibly stupid, horribly written script full of inconsistencies, contrivances, and oh so many plotholes. And the photoshop...oh, dear god, the photoshop!! We hate to bag on Netflix, but they choose to fund some truly atrocious crapola, and this is the worst of them all.

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