Movie Review: "Noelle" (2019)

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Movie: "Noelle"

Director: Marc Lawrence
Year: 2019
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Santa's son Nick, who is poised to take over the role of the Jolly Gift Giver, disappears the week before Christmas. Now, his sister Noelle sets off to look for him so he can return in time for the holiday and save Christmas.

Movie Review: "All The Creatures Were Stirring" (2018)

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Movie: "All the Creatures Were Stirring"

Director: David Ian and Rebekah McKendry
Year: 2018
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes

A couple with nowhere else to be on Christmas Eve attends a play put on by a small theater troupe that acts out a series of horror stories.

Movie Review: "Christmas Inheritance" (2017)

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Movie: "Christmas Inheritance"

Director: Ernie Barbarash
Year: 2017
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

Wealthy socialite Ellen Langford travels to her father's hometown to deliver a box of letters to her uncle. To prove she has what it takes to run her dad's business, and without relying on her social status and credit cards, Ellen is instructed that she must go to the town incognito, and she can't spend more than $100 dollars while she's there.

Movie Review: "The Christmas Chronicles" (2018)

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Movie: "The Christmas Chronicles"

Director: Clay Kaytis
Year: 2018
Rating: TV-PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

On the first Christmas after the death of her father, Kate is going through some old home videos where she thinks she caught Santa Claus on tape. She and her older brother Teddy set up a trap to get definitive proof that Santa exists, which leads them on a wild Christmas adventure they never expected.

Movie Review: "A Christmas Horror Story" (2015)

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Movie: "A Christmas Horror Story

Director: Steven Hoban, Brett Sullivan, and Grant Harvey
Year: 2015
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 39 minutes

An anthology of four loosely connected Christmas-themed horror stories.

Nothing says Christmastime quite like a good holiday-themed horror flick. The movie "A Christmas Horror Story" tells four tales from three different directors named Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, and Brett Sullivan. One story is about a trio of teens named Dylon, Ben, and Molly, played by Shannon Kook, Alex Ozerov, and Zoe De Grand Maison, who are investigating an old murder at their high school. Next, there is a tale about a couple, played by Adrian Holmes and Olunike Adeliyi, who go to cut down a Christmas tree but lose their son in the process. When they find him, he looks the same as always, but there is definitely something different about him. Then, there's a story about a family going to visit their wealthy aunt for Christmas. Instead of a nice, sweet visit, they are really going to see her to try and butter her up for some money. Grandma tells the family about the legend of Krampus, who this naughty family may soon meet. Finally, there is a story about Santa, played by George Buza, who must face down an army of zombie elves at the North Pole. Oh yeah, all of these stories go on while William Shatner plays a radio DJ who is supposed to connect the tales more than they already are.

"A Christmas Horror Story" does not tell each story individually in order, but rather jumps between them giving viewers a little snippet of each at a time. This might be alright if every story was super engaging and well constructed. Unfortunately, we only liked one of the stories. This break-up in the narrative causes the pacing to drag to a halt. We wind up sitting through a long, boring stretch of time only to jump to a dull piece of a different story until we finally jump to the interesting piece of the movie, only to be thrust back into a bland story just as the good one was getting interesting. If the film featured four narratives told in a linear fashion, it may give the audience more time to invest in and focus on each of the characters from each of the stories and not rip us out of it just as it was getting good. The stories really aren't connected enough to justify this broken storytelling, especially since none of them even wind up fully connecting. The only part of "A Christmas Horror Story" worth watching is when Santa faces off against the zombie elves, which is fun, wholly entertaining, and has a brilliant, twisted ending. As only one-fourth of the movie is really great, that leaves three-fourths of it to wallow in mediocrity. This could have been a lot better, but apart from the zombie elves, none of it is even that memorable.

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My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 78%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "The Star Wars Holiday Special" (1978)

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Movie: "The Star Wars Holiday Special"

Director: Steve Binder
Year: 1978
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 37 minutes

Han Solo tries to get Chewbacca home to Kashyyyk so he can spend 'Life Day' with his family.

We are huge "Star Wars" fans. If you've ever wondered if there's a "Star Wars" movie that the fans of the series should avoid at all costs, look no further than "The Star Wars Holiday Special," a made-for-TV movie that aired around Christmastime in 1978. The main cast appears in the film including Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels, and the voice of James Earl Jones, who all reprise their roles from "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope." This movie is directed by Steve Binder, who directed many television specials prior to this one. What this movie is supposed to be about is Chewbacca trying to return to his home planet of Kashyyyk to spend "Life Day" with his family. Life Day is what we assume to be the Wookie version of Christmas. What this movie actually winds up being about is Chewbacca's family sitting at home waiting for him to get back while they watch various things on various screens as a few famous-at-the-time stars who weren't too busy doing anything else perform skits that have nothing to do with "Star Wars." A few of the other big names that appear in this special are Art Carney, Harvey Corman, Bea Arthur, Diahann Carroll, and Jefferson Starship because you know, STAR Wars, spaceSHIP... that's seriously the closest thing we could come up with to connect any these people to a galaxy far, far away.

We had heard that this movie was bad. We figured, how bad could it really be? We have watched countless bad movies like "Manos: Hands of Fate," "Heaven's Gate," and "Catwoman" all in the name of cinematic masochism. Hell, we just saw "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" for our Christmas marathon! But, nothing could have adequately prepared us for what we were about to witness. We hoped this would be a "so bad, it's good" type of experience like what happened when we viewed "Troll 2" or "Samurai Cop," and at first, this was almost the case. The feature starts out with Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca home before cutting to Chewie's family hanging out waiting in their tree house. They are 'talking' to each other, and as fans of "Star Wars" know, Wookies often sound like wounded animals struggling to survive. So here, we have a room full of Wookies screaming at each other. At first, it was a little funny, until we realized at some point about 20 minutes into the film that this was going to be continuing the whole movie. Sometimes Chewie's father Itchy, his mother Malla, and his son Lumpy watch some form of entertainment. For example, Chewbacca's son watches some weird precursor to Cirque du Soleil, and Chewbacca's father uses what seems to be a VR porn fantasy machine where Diahann Carroll sings a song about his inner fantasies. And speaking of songs, there are a lot of them, performed by Carroll, Jefferson Starship, Bea Arthur, and even Carrie Fisher. These tunes are interwoven with little interludes of Chewbacca's wife having a video call with Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Art Carney. The charm wears off really quickly and it's clear nobody was happy to be participating in this thing. Harrison Ford had no intent on hiding his disdain. The only thing that sticks with us about this movie is that Chewbacca was a terrible father who abandoned his family to smuggle illegal goods, to fight in the Rebellion, and to fight for the Resistance without ever mentioning them ever again. It's easy to understand why people HATE this movie, and it's easy to see why Chewie never mentioned his family ever again. "The Star Wars Holiday Special" is atrocious.

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My Rating: 1.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 1.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 2.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 43%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" (2014)

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Movie: "A Merry Friggin' Christmas"

Director: Tristram Shapeero
Year: 2014
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 28 minutes

Boyd hates his father and hasn't seen him in years. He is forced to head home for Christmas when he learns his brother Nelson he wants him to be the godfather of his son. Nelson is having the baby's baptism on Christmas eve, and he wants Boyd and his family to be there to spend Christmas with their entire family.

We have said it before and we will say it again, we are suckers for a good Christmas movie. There are two different kinds of Christmas films: the ones that put you in the spirit of the holiday and make you feel warm and toasty inside, and the ones that do the exact opposite. You know the kind, the ones that are all about how families suck and how spending time with them is the worst thing imaginable. "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" is a movie that embodies these latter sentiments. The film is directed by Tristram Shapeero, who mainly directs episodes of various television shows but seems to have a pretty good track record there. It is written by Michael Brown, who has never written anything else... and now we know why. The movie stars Joel McHale as Boyd Mitchler who, despite being raised by a mean, alcoholic father, played by Robin Williams, manages to become a successful businessman who tries his best to be a great father. Boyd's brother Nelson, played by Clark Duke, wants Boyd to be the godfather of his son (even though the kid is not really his son) and wants to have the baby's baptism on Christmas Eve. This means Boyd is forced to take his entire family home to his parent's house for the holiday. To make matters worse, Boyd has forgotten his son's Christmas presents at home, and now he has to make an eight-hour road trip to go back and get them. With his father. And his brother. In a truck that's hauling porta-potties. A Merry Friggin Christmas indeed.

This movie is atrociously awful and mean-spirited as hell. It's one of those movies that's meant to be a slightly dark comedy but fails on every conceivable level. It winds up being a torturous, horrendous task to try and get through. "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" is an utterly nasty mess with no charm, wit, or humor to be found. The characters aren't likable in the slightest, and we really don't care about any of them or their task(s) at hand. The plot is predictable, cliche, and has an unearned, completely contrived ending that we saw coming before the movie even started. We are huge fans of the late great Robin Williams, but even he fails to bring the laughs here. Joel McHale can often have a sarcastic wit and self-deprecating appeal about him, but these traits are nowhere to be found in this messy turd of a movie. Lauren Graham and Candice Bergen are also in the film and hardly have anything to do except to get drunk and fall over while talking about their non-existent sex lives. The comedy involves the lowest hanging fruit jokes imaginable and never, not once, hit their mark. Running jokes include a drunk hobo Santa, a son-in-law who is a sex offender, and Nelson having PTSD after falling off a truck during basic training. Happy Holidays! The only part of "A Merry Friggin' Christmas" that made us happy is the end, not because it has a cheerful conclusion, but because it finally friggin' ended, meaning we would be able to shit talk this piece of crap garbage movie and discuss how much we hated it.

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My Rating: 1/10
BigJ's Rating: 1/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 16%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "A Christmas Prince" (2017)

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Movie: "A Christmas Prince"

Director: Alex Zamm
Year: 2017
Rating: TV-PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

A reporter trying to get a story on the Prince of Aldovia poses as a tutor for his little sister so she can get the inside scoop on the prince. As the reporter gets closer and grows more fond of the prince, she has to decide what's more important, her story or her feelings for the prince and the royal family.

Just when you think the Hallmark channel has the market on sappy Christmas romances cornered, Netflix swoops in with "A Christmas Prince" and tries to snag yet another movie market. This film is directed by Alex Zamm, who seems to specialize in directing crappier sequels to already crappy kid's movies. A few examples of his work are "Inspector Gadget 2," "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2," "The Tooth Fairy 2," "Jingle All the Way 2," and "Dr. Doolittle: Million Dollar Mutts," which is shockingly the fifth installment in that franchise. It's really quite the resume. "A Christmas Prince" stars Rose McIver as Amber, a junior editor at a celebrity gossip and style magazine who is getting her first assignment as a journalist. She is sent to Aldovia to cover the coronation of Prince Richard, played by Ben Lamb, who has a reputation for being a bit of a playboy. Her boss hopes she can get a scandalous story as it's rumored Richard might abdicate the throne. Determined to get the inside scoop, Amber winds up posing as Princess Emily's new tutor. She becomes friends with Emily, played by Honor Kneafsy, and catches the eye of Prince Richard. Now, she must choose: does she do her job and get a scandalous story, or does she see where her blossoming relationship with Richard and friendship with Emily go? What's a woman to do?! IT'S JUST SO RELATABLE!!!!!!

As one might expect, "A Christmas Prince" is cliche, predictable, and loaded with endless amounts of schmaltz. Amber is about as boring and bland as Wonder Bread with no seasonings. She is like a female Alexander Skarsgård. The prince is thought to be a jet-setting playboy that leads an exciting and adventurous life, but he's secretly just as boring as good ol' Amber. Why travel the world with all the privileges of a prince's life? No, no, he prefers practicing archery and riding his horse to his father's secluded hunting cabin so he can sit and be along and do nothing. This makes them perfect for each other! If at the outset of "A Christmas Prince" you guessed Amber would fall for the prince and vice versa, you are probably right. If you guessed that there would be a conflict and a big secret reveal, you are probably right. If you guessed she would fall off her horse while riding in the woods and be attacked by wolves so the prince can save her "Beauty and the Beast" style, you're surprisingly probably right. This movie literally does nothing different with the genre, and frankly, we didn't expect it to reinvent the wheel. For many viewers, this sappy bit of joyful schmaltz is just what the doctor ordered to get you in the Christmas spirit. In many ways, this contrived mess does do the trick, even though every bit of emotion is forced and we see the ending coming from a light year away. In the end, "A Christmas Prince" isn't a good movie, but it may be one you can have a little fun with if you like something with this much mawkishness or are drunk enough to appreciate it.

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My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.

Movie Review: "Get Santa" (2014)

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Movie: "Get Santa"

Director: Christopher Smith
Year: 2014
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

After Santa crashes his sleigh and loses his reindeer, he is arrested trying to steal his reindeer back from the local animal shelter. Now, it is up to an ex-con and his son to save Christmas by breaking Santa out of prison.

Well, it looks like Christmas needs to be saved once again. Whether it be Scott Calvin, Buddy the Elf, or Ernest P. Worrell, Christmas sure needs a lot of saving. This time, it is up to an ex-con named Steve and his son, played by Rafe Spall and Kit Conner. "Get Santa" is written and directed by Christopher Smith, who is more known for directing R-rated horrors and dramas than family films. When Santa, played by Jim Broadbent, crashes his sleigh and loses his reindeer, he goes to get help from Steve because Steve saw him once as a child. Random. Steve blows him off at first, but after Santa winds up in prison trying to steal his impounded deer back from an animal shelter, Steve finally decides to help after his son insists on it. So, what else is there to do? They must break Santa out of prison. You would think that Santa would have had an opportunity to post bail, but we guess that wouldn't be much of a movie now would it?

"Get Santa" is an entirely formulaic family Christmas comedy. It is a very disposable holiday film that has just a bit a silliness and not much else. It will be quickly forgotten by all who watch it. Some of the jokes in this film do work well within the context of the story, mainly those involving dry and witty one-liners and a few situational moments. The rest of the humor consists of the typical toilet humor that will appeal to the children in the crowd such as reindeer who communicate through farts and Santa fighting off the police by shooting a machine gun that shoots reindeer poop at them. "Get Santa" also seems to borrow a couple jokes from a few of the more well known Christmas comedies. The film has a good cast and the acting is serviceable. Unfortunately, the story doesn't really make a whole heck of a lot of sense and the narrative seems a bit all over the place. The pacing certainly drags at some points, and though this movie isn't very long, it could have certainly been shorter by cutting out a bit of filler (maybe five or six less farting reindeer jokes?). In the end, there are many better holiday films out there, and you may be better off re-watching one of those instead of subjecting yourself to a low-level family flick like "Get Santa."

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My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 77%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Prancer" (1989)

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Movie: "Prancer"

Director: John D. Hancock
Year: 1989
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 43 minutes

A little girl finds an injured reindeer that she believes to be Prancer, a member of Santa's sleigh team. She nurses it back to health and unintentionally revives the Christmas spirit in her entire town.

Christmas is all about love, believing in the impossible, and approaching the holidays with the heart of a child. These are also the themes of John D. Hancock's film "Prancer." It is written by Greg Taylor, who has spent a good chunk of his career writing Christmas movies, films like "The Christmas Box," "The Christmas Wish," and "Santa and Pete," among others. The film stars Rebecca Harrell Tickell as Jessica, a young girl who really, truly believes in Christmas and in Santa Claus. She finds an injured reindeer she believes to be the actual Prancer from Santa's sleigh team. She takes it home to her family's farm to nurse it back to health, unbeknownst to her father John, played by Sam Elliot, who is having a few issues of his own as he struggles to keep their farm afloat. When Jessica's secret gets out, it reignites the spirit of Christmas in her entire small town.

"Prancer" is a film that focuses on the innocence of a child and their faith in Christmas that inspires others. It is a cute family drama that ventures into schmaltzy territory on several occasions. Rebecca Harrell Tickell is adorable enough, though some of the things that are supposed to make her cute and endearing get a little grating and annoying over time, at least to us. Sam Elliott plays a stereotypical Sam Elliott-style role: a gruff cowboy type who doesn't take kindly to emotion because he needs to work to keep his mind off of the tragedy in his life. And speaking of tragedy, what's up with dead parents during Christmas movies? It's so the opposite of everything that's good and Christmasy. But we get it, family and togetherness and appreciation and all that jazz. As these characters go through the story, they are each changed in some way and learn valuable life lessons about love, family, togetherness, and most importantly, the spirit of the season.

"Prancer" has a few goofy moments that fit into the family film formula, but it also deals with a few more mature themes as well. The pacing of the movie can be a bit slow and it definitely drags and gets repetitive in a couple of places. It also has some little gags that are charming and made us chuckle. In the end, there is enough Christmas jolly to go around, and "Prancer" can leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy. Any movie that will put you in the proper state of mind at Christmastime is worth a watch during the yuletide season.

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My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 67%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "I'll Be Home for Christmas" (1998)

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Movie: "I'll Be Home for Christmas"

Director: Arlene Sanford
Year: 1998
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 26 minutes

A student named Jake is attending the Palisades Academy in California. He has promised his dad he'll come home to New York for Christmas for the first time since his mother passed away. In exchange for coming home, his father promises to give him his old classic Porche if he makes it back by 6:00 pm on Christmas Eve. When Jake gets left in the middle of nowhere without a ride, this task becomes seemingly impossible.

Sometimes, late at night, usually after a half-dozen margaritas, one's mind may drift to thinking about life's big questions. Does God exist? Is there life on Mars? Whatever happened to one-time child actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas and why didn't he ever go on to bigger and better things? Then, one evening, you find yourself searching for stuff to watch on Hulu and stumble across a movie like "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and it all becomes very clear. You realize, even without a half-dozen margaritas, that JTT really wasn't a very good actor and that having a baby face and a voice that matched it is probably why his career didn't have any longevity.

"I'll Be Home for Christmas" is directed by Arlene Sandford, who is best known for directing "A Very Brady Sequel," as well as a bunch of television shows. The film stars the aforementioned Jonathan Taylor Thomas who plays Jake, a student attending the Palisades Academy in California, far, far away from his hometown in New York. He hasn't been back for Christmas since his mother passed a few years earlier. His father wants to see him, but Jake doesn't think he can make it home... that is until his dad promises to give him his classic Porche if he makes it home for Christmas Eve dinner by 6pm. Unfortunately, after upsetting a group of football players, Jake gets dumped in the middle of the desert in a Santa costume with no ride and no way to get home. Joining JTT is Jessica Beil as his girlfriend Allie, Adam LaVorgna as his rival Eddie, and Gary Cole as his father.

We love Christmas movies, but in our effort to find all of the good ones, we have certainly come across plenty of bad ones. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" definitely falls into the latter category because it is simply a bad Christmas movie. There are many holiday films that aren't great but still manage to be charming enough with likable enough characters that make for a schmaltzy, festive viewing. This, however, is a movie about a selfish, unlikable little shit of a main character who is meant to learn a lesson and have a real character arc, but never comes about one naturally. He remains his old selfish self until the contrived script needs him to learn whatever lesson he is supposed to learn. Most of the comedy here just doesn't land and consists mainly of pratfalls and dog farts. Maybe the stuff discussed in this movie was more humorous and relevant in the 1990's, but in 2017, nah dawg. Though there is an occasional double-entendre that does work, these moments are a bit surprising to be found in a PG-rated kids movie (though the 90's were certainly more lenient time). As we mentioned, the acting is really bad but not from just Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Nobody gives a good performance. Everyone's acting feels stiff and forced. Nothing at all feels natural in the slightest. Maybe we should cut them a break because it was early in their careers.

Many kids who grew up in the 1990's will love "I'll Be Home for Christmas," but we thought it was a waste of time. It's one of those movies that are better off forgotten unless you have some misplaced nostalgia because of your crush on teen heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas. It's a little bit cheesy, but it has terrible writing, terrible acting, and an unearned ending.

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My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 23%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Christmas Evil" (1980)

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Movie: "Christmas Evil"

Director: Lewis Jackson
Year: 1980
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

A mentally unstable toy maker dresses up like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and decides to reward the good and punish those on the naughty list.

We love Christmas and we really like horror movies, so it's nice when we get our hands on classic Christmas horror flicks like "Christmas Evil," aka "You Better Watch Out." The film is written and directed by Lewis Jackson, who really isn't known for much else, though he does have a little-seen horror movie called "The Transformation: A Sandwich of Nightmares," which sounds like something we needed to see yesterday. This film stars Brandon Maggart as Harry Stadling, a toy factory worker who has an odd obsession with Santa Claus. This fixation stems from an incident where he saw his mother doing a little more than kissing Santa under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. He plays out this fantasy by spying on the kids in his neighborhood, making sure to see if they are naughty or nice. When Christmas Eve rolls around this year, Harry finally dons the red suit and white beard combo and acts out his Santa Claus fantasy. He delivers presents to good and needy children and makes sure the naughty kids on his list get what's coming to them, which is sometimes an ax to the head.

When we first decided to watch "Christmas Evil," we figured it would be a cheesy Christmas horror that's so bad, it's good. It turns out, this is a psychological horror that's just plain old good if you can get past its dated exterior. Brandon Maggart does a great job as the seemingly kind-hearted Harry Stadling. He is obviously dealing with some form of psychosis stemming from his unhealthy obsession with Santa. There is a lot of tension early on as we are often unsure what Harry's going to do or how far he will go to reward and punish. We see that he is a weird guy, but we also know he has a good heart deep down which makes him a semi-relatable though crazy protagonist. Despite becoming a killer, he is a character we can root for. Does that make us psychotic? Harry has an interesting dynamic with his brother, played by Jeffery DeMunn, who feels like Harry is his responsibility. The two have a few engaging moments that lends to the movie's psychological aspects. We also love the fantastical ending, which we didn't expect.

"Christmas Evil" is a low budget horror, so don't expect any flash, pomp, or circumstance. It has a rather off-the-wall concept for a Christmas flick. It is a little slow paced, but if you give it a chance, it's totally worth your time.

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My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~80%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "The Man Who Invented Christmas" (2017)

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Movie: "The Man Who Invented Christmas"

Director: Bharat Nalluri
Year: 2017
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

Charles Dickens struggles to write and self-publish one of his most famous books, "A Christmas Carol," just six weeks before the holiday.

"A Christmas Carol" is synonymous with Christmastime. It's a story that has been read and passed down for over a century. It has also been adapted into numerous films and animated specials. Actors like Alastair Sim, Reginald Owen, George C. Scott, Bill Murray, Patrick Stewart, and Jim Carrey have all played some variation of Dickens' main character Scrooge. Heck, even Micky Mouse, Mr. Magoo, and The Muppets all have their own version of this classic story. "The Man Who Invented Christmas" is the tale of how Charles Dickens wrote his famous book that imbues the spirit of Christmas into anyone who has read it. The film is directed by Bharat Nalluri and is written by Susan Coyne, based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Les Standiford. The film stars Dan Stevens as Charles Dickens who, after three flops in a row, is desperate to come up with a new book that is a smash success. His latest idea is a Christmas ghost story about a stingy miser who is visited by three spirits on Christmas Eve to warn him of the dangers of greed and selfishness. His publishers aren't all that interested in this type of a novel since "Christmas is only a minor holiday." They don't believe there is a market for it. Frustrated, Dickens decides to publish the story himself at a great personal expense, which could break him if his project fails.

Being a period piece and a biopic, there was a good chance this could have been stodgy and boring. It could have taken a very clinical look at the life of Charles Dickens, but luckily, Nalluri and Coyne do a wonderful job making this a fun and humorous biopic. The film tries to juxtapose a CliffsNotes version of the story of "A Christmas Carol" with Dickens' life itself. It draws parallels between things that happened in his life which inspired the biggest parts of his famous tale. These little bits of fan service will bring fabulous nostalgic joy to the viewer, which is what we are really in search of during Christmastime. Dickens' characters come to life all around him with Christopher Plummer playing the famous role of Ebenezer Scrooge. Plummer is magnificent as this grizzled, cantankerous, obstinate character, and the film left us longing to see Plummer play the full role of Scrooge in someone else's movie. Make it happen, Hollywood! We see how the people in Dickens' life inspired him as well, people like his father John, played by Jonathan Pryce, his wife Kate, played by Morfydd Clark, his friend and agent John Forster, played by Justin Edwards, and even his housekeeper Tara, played by Anna Murphy. All of these individuals bring their own perspective and inspiration for Dickens as he struggles with a six week deadline to complete his book before Christmas day. The acting is great as Stevens plays Dickens a little screwball and Plummer does his grouchy thing with relative ease.

"The Man Who Invented Christmas" does feel a bit schmaltzy at times, but we still had a lot of fun with it and enjoyed the film overall. It does enough different with the material that it doesn't feel like a straight remake of "A Christmas Carol," and it has a lot of wacky and heartstring-tugging moments to keep viewers interested, captivated, and longing for yuletide cheer.

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My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~80%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Better Watch Out" (2017)

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Movie: "Better Watch Out"

Director: Chris Peckover
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

A babysitter faces a home invasion-style assault, but it's when she finds out who is behind the attack that things really get out of hand.

We absolutely love Christmas, and nothing gets us in the Christmas spirit quite like a bloody horror flick. "Better Watch Out" is directed by Chris Peckover, who also wrote the screenplay with Zach Kahn. The feature stars Olivia DeJonge, who plays Ashley, the teenaged babysitter of 12-year-old Luke, played by Levi Miller. Their night starts out normal enough, just like any other night she has babysat him in the past. Ashley and Luke have fun and watch movies only to have it all go to hell when Luke's home is invaded by someone looking to cause them harm. Also in the film are Ed Oxenbould, who plays Luke's best friend Garrett, and Virginia Madsen and Patrick Warburton, who play Luke's parents.

What starts out as a typical, almost cliche home invasion horror movie quickly makes a turn into something much more interesting, sinister, and dark. It is really hard to talk about the crux of this movie without spoiling it, but we will do our best. This winds up being a very tense, sufficiently disturbing horror/thriller with an underlying bit of dark comedy. We felt a little lulled into complacency at the beginning of the film. We remained engaged but needed something more. Once the home invasion aspect starts taking place, it amps up the pressure as a constant game of cat and mouse is played by the protagonist and antagonist. This is a film that takes the audience in one direction only to quickly yank it in another. It does so more than once, but it never feels forced or unnecessary.

We didn't know much about this film prior to seeing it, and that's a good thing since it made the twists and turns that much more effective. "Better Watch Out" is a super unsettling movie, and if you're looking for a non-traditional festive film, we definitely recommend this to fans of Christmas-themed horror flicks. We will add this title to our holiday rotation and revisit it when we sufficiently want to get creeped out.

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My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: ~6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~91%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

Movie Review: "Daddy's Home 2" (2017)

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Movie: "Daddy's Home 2"

Director: Sean Anders
Year: 2017
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

After Brad and Dusty decide to have a "together Christmas" so the kids can have a "normal" day, Dusty gets word his estranged father is coming into town which threatens to throw a wrench into their happy co-parenting plans.

The original "Daddy's Home" was not a good movie, but it made $242 million dollars at the worldwide box office, so a sequel was inevitable. "Daddy's Home 2" is once again directed by Sean Anders, who besides directing the original installment has also directed films like "Sex Drive" and "That's My Boy." Stellar resume. The vast majority of the original cast returns, including Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg who reprise their roles as Brad and Dusty, two feuding stepfathers who have become friends since bonding in the climax of the original movie. Also returning are Linda Cardellini, Owen Vaccaro and Scarlett Estevez as the wife/ex-wife and children of the two male leads. New to the series are John Lithgow and Mel Gibson, who play Brad and Dusty's respective fathers. Brad's dad Don is an amplified version of his highly emotional, highly talkative "kindness is the best policy" character, and Dusty's dad Kurt is an over-exaggerated version of the loner tough guy with an extra helping of womanizing, drinking, and absence thrown in for good measure.

As you can see, we weren't fans of the original "Daddy's Home," which we felt was a mean-spirited comedy elevated solely by a solid climatic ending, even though it had not earned it. As for part two of this "series that never needed a sequel," go in expecting the exact same formula from the first installment. It's one punch shy of a beat-for-beat remake of the first movie, but with more Christmas decorations and mistletoe jokes. "Haha, Brad is bad at sports and gives bad relationship advice." "Hahaha, Dusty doesn't like showing emotion soo0o0o0o it's funny whenever he does." "Oh look, Pepe randomly appeared at the airport." "OMG! One of their cars got totaled again!" "Uh oh, are they going to have a fistfight?"

The saving grace of this installment is John Lithgow, who has a couple of genuinely funny moments. Unfortunately, the 'overly affectionate old man who talks too much and kisses his adult son on the mouth' routine gets old pretty quickly. As for Mel Gibson, he literally just stands around raspily laughing like he's about to have a heart attack any second and scoffs anytime someone shows any smidgen of emotion or a slight appreciation for parenting with an open mind or sensitivity. He also buys his sociopath-in-training granddaughter a rifle and teaches his grandson how to sexually assault girls. But hey, the kid is only 8 years old, so it's cute when he does it...right?! He urges his grandson to "go up and kiss" the girl he likes because "she wants it," then instructs him to "smack her on the caboose" and yell some inappropriate phrase we cannot remember because we were too busy being disgusted. This is the wrong damn time for this movie. The adult female characters have absolutely nothing to do and their presence offers nothing. They get a couple of throwaway gags and that's it.

"Daddy's Home 2" is barely saved by its silly, ridiculous ending with a climactic scene that did make us smile, but a good ending does not excuse the previous hour and a half 's worth of mostly unfunny garbage. It's a cynical trainwreck and you should not give it your money.

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My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3.5/10
IMDB's Rating: ~6.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~15%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

Movie Review: "A Bad Moms Christmas" (2017)

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Movie: "A Bad Moms Christmas"

Director: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore
Year: 2017
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

Amy, Carla, and Kiki are tired of killing themselves trying to make Christmas perfect. This year, they just want to take it easy and have fun with their kids. When their moms show up unexpectedly, their plans for a laid back Christmas go out the window.

This "Bad Moms" sequel sure had a quick turnaround time! Gotta strike while the iron is hot, eh?

Halloween is over, which means it the most wonderful time of the year yet again!! Well, at least it is for Hollywood... you know the drill. "A Bad Moms Christmas" is the very first Christmas movie of the season. It is the sequel to the 2016 surprise box office hit "Bad Moms," which raked in a whopping $183 million worldwide on a meager $20 million budget and came out a mere 15 months ago. It is once again written and directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore. Returning to star in the movie are Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn, who reprise their roles as Amy, Kiki, and Carla. New to the cast are Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, and Susan Sarandon, who played Ruth, Sandy, and Isis, the mothers of the three aforementioned characters. Amy, Kiki, and Carla are tired of the stress that comes around Christmas. They are exhausted from trying to give their kids the perfect holiday, so this year they've decided they are going to relax and take it easy. When each of their mothers shows up unexpectedly, their stress levels go back through the roof as they clash with the matriarchs of their family on how they should spend Christmas.

We weren't huge fans of the original "Bad Moms" movie. We didn't absolutely hate it, but we didn't really love it like everyone else seemed to love it. It had an occasional laugh but also had some big problems. Needless to say, we weren't exactly hyped to see this sequel. Luckily, we are suckers for Christmas movies, so this sequel has that going for it. We actually enjoyed this movie a little bit more than we enjoyed the original. This is not to say "A Bad Moms Christmas" is an amazing, nonstop laugh riot. However, it does have enough laughs to satisfy even the most hardened moviegoers and kept us chuckling from start to finish. Keep in mind, there are still plenty of misses when it comes to the humor, and when these bad jokes happen, they are pretty cringe-worthy.

We believe the addition of the moms of the Bad Moms add a nice generational dynamic and help give a little depth to the original characters. These three grandmas each represent a different kind of parenting style that the audience may be able to relate to. Baranski is the hyper-critical mother with a taste for the luxury brands and first-class everything, Hines is the stage-five clinger mom who is always around her child, and Sarandon plays the absentee "live and let live parent" who is never around when she is needed most. Christine Baranski does a fantastic job as Ruth and steals the show numerous times. Her uppity, sniping attitude presents the perfect opposite to Amy's lax but caring motherly love. Cheryl Hines is the least developed and gets the least to do, but she plays the obsessed mother really well.

"A Bad Moms Christmas" has plenty of flaws. It almost exactly follows the format of the first film, it uses too many slow-mo montages, and it is a bit too derivative for our liking. But, in the end, we still had a good time and were entertained by the Christmas shenanigans of the Bad Moms and their mothers. We think most people will go into this sequel looking to have a good time, and if you know that you're in for a vulgar, raunchy, f-bomb-riddled sleigh ride, you will probably have a lot of fun!

**Did you know we have a podcast? Check out the episode where we discuss "A Bad Moms Christmas" right here! Our review starts at 56:57!

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My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: ~5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~31%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Tyler Perry's Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" (2017)

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Movie: "Tyler Perry's Boo 2! A Madea Halloween"

Director: Tyler Perry
Year: 2017
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 49 minutes

When Tiffany turns 18 years old, she decides to give the frat house Halloween party a second go around now that she's legal. After the trouble they incurred last year, the frat is throwing their Halloween party at a lake, which was also the location of a string of murders back in the day. When the kids are partying, they are met by some demons from the past that want to spoil their fun.

Last year, Tyler Perry unleashed "Boo! A Madea Halloween" upon the world, which was a box office success despite poor critical and audience reviews. It went on to make $74 million on a $20 million budget, so there should have been little surprise when Perry announced a sequel would be coming. Of course, we never expected to get a sequel so quickly slapped together just one year later. We will admit, the first "Boo!" movie was pretty bad, but it was at least somewhat tolerable and we laughed a couple of times. We cannot say the same about "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween."

This sequel is once again centered around Tiffany, played by Diamond White, the spoiled, bratty daughter of human doormat Brian, played by Tyler Perry. It is Tiffany's 18th birthday, and the movie starts off with her getting mad at her dad because he didn't buy her a car for her birthday. Apparently, she thinks she's owed one for simply coming of age? As a character, she instantly loses us here. This also means she didn't really learn her lesson from the first movie. Shocker. Brian has an ex-wife named Debrah, played by Taja V. Simpson, who undermines him at every turn and is married to a man named Calvin, played by Akende Munalula, who refuses to even acknowledge Brian's existence, regularly ignoring him when he is directly addressed. Is this supposed to be funny? Because it happens repeatedly and it's never funny. It's damn disrespectful and it makes Brian look like an asshole for allowing it to happen to him. Of course, then there's Madea, also played by Tyler Perry, and her crew of one-note caricatures including Joe, also played by Tyler Perry, Aunt Bam, played by Cassi Davis, and Hattie, played by Patrice Lovely. Their shtick runs thin after about a minute. Just like the last installment, Tiffany wants to go to a party at the local fraternity. Her dad says no, but her mom says yes, so she gets to go. This year, the party is being thrown at a lake where a bunch of murders happened many years ago, and expected, shit starts to go awry. 

Like we mentioned above, we didn't hate "Boo! A Madea Halloween," so we went into this sequel hoping we wouldn't hate it either. That sure as shit didn't work out for us. Within 15 minutes, we were already done with this insipid, tedious, unpleasant, uninspired piece of trash movie. The acting is horrible, somehow even worse than the original. The writing is atrocious, but beyond being unfunny and plain ol' stupid, it also adds an extra layer of misogynistic offensiveness on top of it. The story is neither comedic nor horrific, which makes it fail on all levels. We loathed every single one of the characters because none of them are charming, witty, or remotely relatable. They are all caricatures of themselves, the most over the top, obnoxious, crass versions of their original selves, and none of the actors have any ability to make them feel authentic. We guess that's what happens when you fill the cast with YouTubers and social media celebrities and try to make them actors. Also, what the hell is Tito Ortiz doing in this movie??! We like Tito and have followed his entire MMA career, but good god, he cannot act. We thought Randy Couture and Georges St. Pierre were bad, but Tito Ortiz takes the cake.

It's painfully evident this sequel was rushed during post-production to give it an October 2017 release date because it has some of the worst editing we've seen all year. There are several instances when a conversation begins, is abruptly ended, and is then picked up and continued in a scene later. It's as if the movie wasn't put together properly in post-production. Also, curse words ranging from "damn" to "fuck" are dubbed in post and are sloppily inserted in the movie. We can only assume "Boo 2!" was shot with an R rating in mind and edited down in an effort to give it a PG-13 rating. This is baffling to us because even in PG-13 movies, most of these words (especially "damn") are perfectly acceptable. We know this sounds nit-picky, but it's not something that happens once or twice. IT HAPPENS OVER 20 TIMES, each instance more obvious than the last! It's poor, lazy craftsmanship at its finest.

We really don't have a whole lot to say about "Boo 2! A Madea Halloween." This movie just about broke us. It is truly one of the worst movies of the year in every way, shape, or form. You already know you shouldn't see it, so don't. Just don't. It's bad bad, so please don't waste your time or money on it.

**Did you know we have a podcast? Check out the episode where we discuss "Tyler Perry's Boo 2! A Madea Halloween" right here! Our review starts at 3:18!

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My Rating: 1/10
BigJ's Rating: 1/10
IMDB's Rating: ~3.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~7%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

10 More Movies to Get Your Family in the Halloween Spirit!

Last year, we brought you a list of 10 family-friendly Halloween movies to get you into the mood for the holiday. This year, we're giving you 10 more suggestions to enjoy with your family this October! Please enjoy this list, and leave your suggestions in the comments below!

*Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971): Though there isn't a whole lot of scariness here, "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" sees a good witch team up with her trio of foster children as they use magic and music to battle Nazis during WWII. This is a charmingly classic Disney film not to be missed.

*The Boxtrolls (2014): "Don't judge a book by its cover" is a central theme in many kids movies, but "The Boxtrolls" handles it in an important way with unusual characters, interesting and gorgeous stop-motion animation, and mountains of cheese. Literally!

*Casper (1995): Halloween nostalgia at its finest. "Casper" might be a little dated, but it's still very sweet and has a lot to say about grieving and the death of a loved one. It's kid-friendly entertainment that'll keep adults intrigued as well.

*Coraline (2009): We are suckers for stop-motion animation. "Coraline" is one of the best, a truly gorgeous looking film. Sure, it's a little odd and is slightly frightening at times, but this is a movie that begs to be seen.

*Hotel Transylvania (2012): Adam Sandler doesn't always make good live action movies these days, but "Hotel Transylvania" is actually an extremely fun monster-themed family flick. Lots of laughs, lots of great voice over work!

*Monster House (2006): This is an entertaining Halloween adventure about a possessed child-eating house that's exciting, fun, and filled with just the right kind of family frights, though it may be a bit intense for the youngest kids.

*Monsters vs. Aliens (2009): Loaded with quippy dialogue, unique characters, and crisp, clean animation, "Monsters vs. Aliens" is an underappreciated animated movie that doesn't shy away from jokes and sci-fi references.

*The Black Cauldron (1985): This oft-forgotten Disney animated feature is one of their most terrifying. It is filled with so much creepy imagery, it was the first Disney animated feature to receive a PG rating (in fact, it almost got a PG-13!). Sorcery, a ghoulish horned king, and an army of the dead make it perfect for Halloween.

*Ghostbusters (1984): A great cast with wonderful chemistry has made this a must-see comedy classic. Ghosts, demon dogs, a 50 ft. marshmallow man and an infectious theme song help as well, though this is best for middle schoolers and up.

*Labyrinth (1986): Goblins, trolls, fairies, talking worms, and monsters. Combine these with David Bowie's singing, a dark tale about a stolen baby, and the magic of Jim Henson's creature shop and it all comes together for a fantastically good time.

Movie Review: "Red Christmas" (2017)

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Movie: "Red Christmas"

Director: Craig Anderson
Year: 2017
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

A mother is forced to fight for the lives of her family during their Christmas get together when a cloaked stranger shows up claiming to be someone from her past. After being shooed away, this person comes back and goes on a murdering rampage.

Nothing says Christmas like an abortion debate. This sensitive subject is the foundation of the film "Red Christmas." It starts out with protests surrounding an abortion clinic followed by a terrorist attack on the building by radical pro-lifers... which is a little ironic if you ask us, someone claiming to be pro-life while murdering people. But hey, that's just us. Not exactly a standard schmaltzy Christmas plot, right?

Not exactly what you'd expect from a Christmas movie. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)

This Australian holiday horror flick is written and directed by Craig Anderson, who uses this rather taboo political subject to create a horror-themed abortion debate set around yuletide cheer. The film stars Dee Wallace, who is best known for her role in "E.T.," but has also starred in numerous horror classics like "Cujo" and "The Howling." Here, she plays Diane, the matriarch of a somewhat dysfunctional family having their last Christmas get together in their family home. It is a typical family gathering complete with domestic dramas, squabbling siblings, and conflicting ideas. All of this stops, however, when a cloaked stranger named Cletus shows up at their front doorstep. He claims to be someone from Diane's past. Being polite, she invites him in, until his true intentions are revealed. When she casts him out of their home, Cletus goes on a murdering rampage, picking off the family members one by one.

When a stranger calls. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)

"Red Christmas" is a fairly conventional slasher style horror film despite its premise. There's a bit of a twist as it is centered around the abortion debate in what some may consider the crudest way possible. Anderson doesn't go deep into a lot of detail past the first few minutes, which simply set up the rest of the story in this holiday horror. There is a little tension at times, but this isn't the type of movie steeped in "edge of your seat" thrills and heart-pounding terror. It doesn't rely on unnecessary jump scares, which we always welcome. This is more of a gore-driven flick that has a couple of creative death scenes featuring odd objects like bear traps and blenders (hey, Bear Traps and Blenders would be a good band name!), as well as a couple of tried and true kills featuring an ax to the head. The practical effects are excellently made and are very, very bloody.

Dee Wallace as matriarch Diane, locked and loaded.. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)

Dee Wallace gives a good performance as a mother trying her best to keep her family from fighting during their Christmas celebration. It is clear she has always had her work cut out for her with her children Ginny (Janis McGavin), Suzy (Sara Bishop), and Jerry (Gerard Odwyer). Ginny and Suzy have seemingly always had a sibling rivalry, and now that they are adults, there is a huge clash of morals between the entire family and Suzy, who is extremely religious, as is her husband Joe (David Collins), who is a preacher. Jerry is the youngest of the siblings and has down syndrome. He is the liveliest of the kids, quick to put a smile on everyone's face, but he would also be the most hurt if his mother's secret ever got out.

A family brought together by death. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)

Some of the cinematography is a bit weird. It feels like cinematographer Douglas James Burgdorff was instructed to keep the lighting interesting. Because of this, many of the scenes are backlit in the hot pinks and neon greens of Christmas decorations, or the deep reds and flashing bright blues of a cop car driving by outside. These colors serve as the only luminescence in multiple shots. Many of the shots are also filmed at strange angles to keep the flow spruced up, and while some viewers may find this annoying, we mostly enjoyed it because it's an obvious attempt to make it feel more artistic and less one-dimensional.

Deck the halls. (Image provided by Artsploitation Films, photo by Douglas Burgdorff)

Overall, "Red Christmas" is a fun and entertaining low-budget horror romp provided you're not easily offended. It's not a movie everyone will love because of its delicate subject matter, but we had a really good time watching it.

"Red Christmas" will be available nationwide October 17th, 2017 on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital HD, including iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Google Play, Vudu and more.

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My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 46%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?