Movie Review: "Glass" (2019)

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Movie: "Glass"

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2019
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 9 minutes

When 'The Horde' and David Dunn are apprehended by authorities, they are placed in a mental hospital where Mr. Glass is also being held. While at the hospital, psychiatrist Dr. Ellie Staple tries to convince the three of them that they are suffering from delusions and that they don't really have powers. Mr. Glass may be concocting a plan to prove otherwise.

Movie Review: "Split" (2017)

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Movie: "Split"

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 57 minutes

Three girls are abducted by a man with multiple personalities and unimaginable power. Now, they must figure out a way to survive.

"Split" is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who is known for films like "The Sixth Sense," "Unbreakable," and "Signs." It stars James McAvoy as man with Dissociative identity disorder who abducts three teenage girls, played by Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, and Jessica Sula. Joining them is Betty Buckley, who plays Dr. Karen Fletcher, a psychologist who has been working with McAvoy's character and is primarily there as a means of exposition to explain his condition and the abilities that stem forth from it.

Over the past few years, people have started to lose faith in M. Night Shyamalan. He had a string of terrible movies and even started to become a punchline at one point. In 2015, however, Shyamalan started to turn that opinion back around by returning to what got him noticed in the first place with the small-scale horror thriller "The Visit." Now, he returns to that formula yet again and delivers another solid offering in "Split." This winds up being a great, slow-burning psychological fantasy thriller with some stellar acting if you can get over the initial slowness at first. James McAvoy is brilliant as Kevin and his many other personalities. He really shows his versatility as an actor here. His ability to create numerous different characters within the same body by changing his speech, mannerisms, habits, and even his body chemistry is exactly what an actor dreams of being able to do. He's excellent in this picture and the movie is worth watching for McAvoy alone, though his is not the only good performance. Anya Taylor-Joy also does a fine job as Casey, the principal focus of the three abductees. She is able to deliver a strong emotional performance as someone in a perilous situation who already has faced a lot tragedy in her life. She is seemingly seasoned in how to prepare herself for such a terrible circumstance, though we do wish Shyamalan had kept the tight shots of her face to a minimum because they seriously happen every 5-10 minutes or so. Sula and Richardson, the other girls who are abducted, don't get a whole lot to work within their more limited roles, but for the times they are on screen, they create an effective show of panic and determination to get out of their situation.

"Split" is very engaging at times. We found ourselves enthralled for a good portion of its runtime, though there were points towards the middle of it when we wondered if there was something bigger at play. By movie's end, it all comes together and explains why Kevin is able to do what he does, but go into the film knowing as little as you can. If you get the "twist" spoiled for you, punch whoever told you what happened. This prospect leaves us extremely excited for M Night. Shyamalan's future, and maybe, just maybe, the old and new may converge at some point.

**CLICK HERE to buy the "The Sixth Sense" on DVD!**

**CLICK HERE to buy "The Visit" on Blu-Ray!**
**CLICK HERE to buy "Signs" on Blu-ray!**

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My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: ~7.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ~76%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

**To review this movie for yourself on one of the best websites on the internet, visit filmfed.com!*

Movie Review #309: "The Visit" (2015)

Movie: "The Visit"
Ticket Price: $9.75
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 36 minutes

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Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and Tyler (Ed Oxenbould) are about to meet their grandparents for the very first time and spend a week at their house. Many year prior, Becca and Tyler's mom (Kathryn Hahn) and their grandparents had a falling out and have not seen each other or really spoken since. Becca is an aspiring filmmaker and wants to document their week at Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop's (Peter McRobbie) house in the hopes of finding something that could mend these old wounds. This may be harder than she bargained for as Nana and Pop Pop are a little odd, to say the least.

Preying on people's weaknesses when it comes to grandparents and older folks...genius!

For some time, we had lost faith in M. Night Shyamalan. It has been a long while since he has made a decent movie and his last three were absolutely abhorrent. These horrid films, "The Happening," "The Last Airbender, " and "After Earth," made us lose all hope in him as a director. Now, there is a faint, shimmering light at the end of the tunnel, and this light is Shyamalan's latest film "The Visit." Now, we won't pretend this is his best film ever because it's not, and it's not a perfect movie for any director, but it is certainly his best movie since "The Village," possibly even his best since "Signs." This film is a low budget horror thriller with a bit of dark comedy sprinkled in and was entirely funded by Shyamalan himself. It is shot in a found footage/mocku/documentary style, and though this gimmick doesn't work in many other films and can actually be very annoying, it surprisingly works in this one and does so quite well. We were never once put off by the shaky camera as we simply understood it as one of the main characters making a film.

So much of the movie relies on the strength of the main four actors, especially that of the two kids Olivia DeJonge, who plays Becca, and Ed Oxenbould, who plays her younger brother Tyler. Since they take up the lion's share of the screen time, it's very important they perform their parts well, which luckily, they do. It was a bit of a gamble for Shyamalan to use two relatively unknown actors, but with a minuscule budget, we totally understand, and this gamble paid off handsomely. The character of Tyler offers some great comic relief with his well-timed, smart ass remarks and terrible, awkward rap performances. It's obvious he is the yang to Becca's yin, and even though he is very try-hard and wants to get famous through YouTube, he offers the perfect balance to Becca's more mature, stoic, and rigid demeanor. DeJonge displays a few great dramatic moments, too, as she searches for closure and forgiveness for her mother, and for herself, since her dad left their family. Though these actors perform very greatly, it is really Nana, played by the perfectly sinister Deanna Dunagan, and Pop Pop, played by the creepy and unsettling Peter McRobbie, who steal the show. If you've never had a few of grandparents or the elderly, this movie might just make you think twice about it. Dunagan and McRobbie are tremendously excellent and viciously menacing. A small switch gets flipped relatively early on in the film and they go from seeming somewhat normal to being completely batshit crazy for the remainder, and even kept us on the edge of our seats a few times with their shenanigans. There is just something about these two that is so unsettling, and there are times we as the audience are uncertain what their intentions actually are. One particular moment, which involves a well-executed jump scare (which I probably should have seen coming) had me screaming audibly in the theater, something I welcomed with opened arms because it has been a while since that has happened.

The mood of "The Visit" is set so well and there are some genuinely creepy moments that can really freak you out as you are never totally sure what is going to happen next, not that actually knowing would make it any less scary. At the end of the day, we are pleased to say there is still hope for you yet, M. Night Shyamalan, since we know you're reading this, and now we can look forward to what is yet to come in your future, with some cautious optimism, of course.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 62%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "The Sixth Sense" (1999)

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Movie: "The Sixth Sense"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 1999
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes

Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) is a child psychologist who has taken an interest in the case of a young boy named Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), who claims he can see dead people. 

We saved the best for last.

"The Sixth Sense" is the incredible, breakthrough film from writer/director M. Night Shyamalan. This movie garnered a fitting six Oscar nominations including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Screenplay. It's the reason why we still hope, even after a series of horribly bad movies like "The Last Airbender" and "After Earth," that somewhere buried deep within Shyamalan, he still has the ability to make a good, if not great movie. We know you can do it, M, don't let us down!

Bruce Willis plays Dr. Malcolm Crowe. He is a child psychologist and his primary focus is on a young boy named Cole Sear, played by a very young, very adorable, doe-eyed Haley Joel Osment. Cole's case is very similar to one Malcolm had many years prior, a case where he was unable to help the young boy and things got very ugly. He hopes this time, the situation with Cole will be different, and thinks maybe he can redeem the mistakes he made in the past by now helping Cole. But when Cole tells Malcolm his real problem is that he's seeing dead people, including being able to communicate with them, Malcolm starts to think Cole is a lost cause as well and is most likely a paranoid schizophrenic. As Malcolm reexamines his previous case, it starts to look like Cole might be telling the truth, and now he must find a way to help Cole help the ghosts. Ghosts, communicating with the dead, and the patented M. Night Shyamalan twist? What's not to love?

This is, simply put, an astounding, shocking, fantastic film, and one that we really love, even many years later. Anyone who knows anything about the movie will recall there is a big twist in the story, and even on repeat viewings and knowing the twist, we can still enjoy the expert craftsmanship of this movie. M. Night Shyamalan hasn't always been a lost cause. It is really wonderfully shot with some staggeringly great cinematography. There is a lot of little details which were taken into strong consideration while filming, and these small details add up and are not lost on us as audience members. For example, the way that color is used to denote certain things in the plot is a major detail we have come to both respect and admire, but never giving too much away at once. The lighting and soundtrack create a great mood throughout the film. It's also very well acted. Haley Joel Osment is fantastic as Cole. Besides being a cute, likable kid, he showed an acting ability far beyond his years. Toni Collete plays Cole's mother Lynn, and she is excellent as well. Collette is able to show a tremendous, wide display of emotion as a loving mother, but one who struggles with having a son with possible mental or emotional problems. Both she and Osment earned Oscar nominations for their performances, and though Bruce Willis did not, he is also great as Dr. Malcolm Crowe.

Not only is "The Sixth Sense" a brilliant film, but it has held up well over the years, even though everyone and their mother probably knows how it will end. It is definitely worth a watch because it is one of those films we feel everyone must see, especially those who love anything and everything cinema. It has a little bit of everything as an eerie ghost story with a compelling human interest, some creepy chills and expert craftsmanship. The definition of a 10/10 film!

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 85%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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One year ago, we were watching: "The Purge: Anarchy"

Movie Review: "Unbreakable" (2000)

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Movie: "Unbreakable"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2000
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 46 minutes

A train derails killing everyone aboard, except one man named David Dunn (Bruce Willis), who is miraculously unharmed. Shortly after the tragedy, he is contacted by an art dealer named Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), who specializes in comic book art. Elijah has a condition which makes his bones very fragile, and this has earned him the nickname Mr. Glass. He has a theory about comic books, that they are partially based in reality, and he believes David is the real world version of a superhero.  

After M. Night Shyamalan's directorial breakthrough with "The Sixth Sense," people were expecting big things from him, and rightfully so. Luckily, he followed up that film with another solid, wonderful movie in "Unbreakable."

This film asks the question, what if superheroes existed in real life? Of course, not in the manner we see in big Marvel or DC movies with big budget special effects, but in a way where they would be unaware of their abilities. To them and most of those around them, they would appear completely normal, but maybe they never get sick, or never get injured, or have some sort of athletic abilities beyond that of an average person. This is the theory of Elijah Price, played by Samuel L. Jackson. Elijah was born with a condition which makes his bones brittle and easily breakable. As a young child and unable to play sports or play with other children as other children do, he became an avid reader and collector of comic books. He believed at one point in time, comics were based on actual historical events or life experiences, of course exaggerated and jazzed up for mass commercial consumption. It's when David Dunn, played by Bruce Willis, is the sole survivor of a massive train wreck and walks away completely unharmed that Elijah thinks he has found the hero which will prove his theory. When Elijah presents his hypothesis, David writes him off as a lunatic, but Elijah is determined to show David he is correct. David's son Joseph, played by Spencer Treat Clark, wants to believe his dad is a superhero and actually starts to do things that could seriously injure his father if Elijah's hypothesis is wrong. David, on the other hand, believes himself to be a normal person. Therein lies the question: is David normal or a superhero of sorts?

We found ourselves watching this film with great intrigue as the truth is revealed, leading to the inevitable twist at the end. As all good twists go, it may not be the one we totally expected, but it makes total sense when it happens. For us, the best part of "Unbreakable" is its performance by Samuel L. Jackson as Elijah "Mr. Glass" Price that really makes this film worthwhile. He plays the part with such a resounding conviction in his beliefs, and this shines through on the screen. Bruce Willis' performance is much more subdued and understated, a far cry from his powerhouse "Die Hard" days, but it is still a solid performance nonetheless. Watching these men perform on screen is a treat as gripping and tense moments happen to and with both of them, remaining unpredictable and intriguing throughout its run time.

Overall, "Unbreakable" is a great and worthy follow-up to "The Sixth Sense," and though it doesn't quite match its predecessor, it is still a very good movie.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 68%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "Deliver Us from Evil"

Movie Review: "The Village" (2004)

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Movie: "The Village"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2004
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 48 minutes

The people of a small 19th century village surrounded by forest live in isolation. They are kept this way by deadly creatures that inhabit the surrounding woods that kill anyone that dare to enter. Jealousy in the small village leads to a violent crime, leaving a young man named Lucius (Joaquin Phoenix) on his death bed. In response, his blind girlfriend Ivy (Bryce Dallas Howard) asks permission of the elders to cross the forbidden forest and go to the nearby towns to asks for medicine to save the life of her true love. 

When reviewing a film like "The Village," it's really, really hard to get into the details of the plot without spoiling things, so we will try our best not to give too much away as there are a few twists and turns throughout the film. When this movie's predecessor "Signs" came out in 2002, it was relatively well received by critics and audiences, but has since started to receive a bit of a backlash of negative criticism as people have started to pick it apart. On the other hand, "The Village" received a very mixed reaction when it came out with quite a bit of negative criticism directed towards it, but has since had the opposite phenomenon as "Signs." It has received growing support over the years and a bit of a cult following, and we can sort of see why. "The Village" has a lot of interesting elements to it, sure, but it's a movie that is hard to market, and was apparently marketed wrong and misleadingly back in the day. It has elements of horror, suspense, mystery, drama, and romance, but the marketing team went with promoting it as a straight monster horror flick, setting an expectation that is never met during the film. This was and is still a huge letdown to some people, but less so now that it has been over a decade since its release. Like we said, the horror element is there, but it is not the core of the film. The people who live in this village chose to live there because the towns are too dangerous. They fear to leave the village because the woods are too dangerous, but when all is said and done, the real danger comes from within the village itself, and such is the nature of man. It's when jealousy strikes and anger takes over when one of the townspeople is attacked, not by the so-called creatures living in the surrounding woods or the evil people of the big towns, but by one of their own. This movie is about perception verses reality, that what we perceive as safe can be very dangerous, and how those we perceive as dangerous could one day be your best hope for survival. Not everything is as it seems when it comes to their tight-knit community, and as secrets get revealed slowly throughout the film, mysteries unravel and truths are revealed.

We can see why this film has garnered a growing support as we enjoyed it more upon a second viewing. BigJ knew the twists and turns, but I had completely forgotten since it had been about a decade since we originally saw it. Seeing the broader message and grasping it in the context of a bigger picture, it is all too gripping and thought-provoking to dislike. It has a very good and impressive cast in Bryce Dallas Howard (her feature film debut), Joaquin Phoenix (who has minimal screen time, but is effective in it nonetheless), William Hurt, Sigourney Weaver, Judy Greer, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, and even a young Jesse Eisenberg. Most of these actors do a very good job in their respective roles. Shyamalan also uses some great camera work here and displays a lot of beautiful cinematography and use of color as he often does. Plus, he's in the film in a very small part, not an epic core actor like he is and distractingly so in "Lady in the Water." The biggest knock we have against "The Village" is its pacing. It feels slow quite a few times and also takes a long time to reveal any twists. Overall, though, this movie gets unfairly panned as being one of the worst movies ever made, to which we say, watch "The Gallows" or "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2" and call us in the morning.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 43%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "I, Frankenstein"

Movie Review: "Signs" (2002)

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Movie: "Signs"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2002
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 46 minutes

When a crop circle appears in Graham Hess' (Mel Gibson) cornfield, he first writes it off as a hoax, but as more crop circles appear in many places all over the world overnight, people start to believe they are the real deal, and a message from aliens.

Not all movies directed by M. Night Shyamalan are bad. In fact, at one point, he had a pretty prestigious career. His first few films came out with a bang, and over the years, he has dropped off significantly in popularity because of his awful last few films. While some might disagree with us, we really like his movie "Signs," where he offers his take on an alien invasion. Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson plays Graham Hess, a former minister who lost his faith when his wife was killed after being hit by a car while on her walk when the driver fell asleep at the wheel. Joaquin Phoenix plays Graham's brother Merrill, a former minor league baseball player who has since been helping Graham with his two kids Morgan, played by Rory Culkin, and Bo, played by Abigail Breslen.

Though this is, in a way, an alien invasion film, it still has a strong focus on Shyamalan's favorite subjects of faith and destiny. This time, there is a primary focus on the Hess family and their personal struggles with these issues. Since "The Sixth Sense," Shyamalan has had a habit of casting himself in his own movies as if he were striving to be the next Orson Wells. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have the acting ability to do it in a non-distracting manner. Up until this point, Shyamalan had played rather insignificant roles in his movie, such as one-scene doctors or passers by, but in "Signs," he has a far more significant part and is probably the least successful and convincing character in the movie. The rest of the cast are fine in their parts, and no matter what you think of him personally, no one can deny the acting ability of Mel Gibson at this point in time. Of course, Joaquin Phoenix is very talented and one of our favorites, so we like him as the former baseball player turned jaded babysitter. This is also the film debut of Abigail Breslen, who is adorable in her part of a little girl with a weird quirk about her drinking water, something I can personally identify with...what? I'm not drinking contaminated water!! She and her brother Morgan obviously have a close relationship since she follows him everywhere, but like most brothers and sisters, they do fight and argue from time to time, though they seem to get closer once it is apparent that aliens are bound for Earth. With a strong beginning, this movie really plays on the "what if" factor as far as aliens are concerned.

Though the aliens were probably appealing for their time, the graphics displayed here are now very outdated and look super phony, but overall, this film is quite enjoyable. As expected, there is a signature Shyamalan "twist," if you can call it that, but in retrospect and when watching his other movies in succession, the one presented in "Signs" is rather weak and contrived. The rest of the film has a lot to offer in the way of thrills and suspense and it is still fun to watch from time to time. For us, we are willing to overlook the aforementioned flaws in order to re-watch Mel Gibson's flawless fake crying.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 74%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "Nashville"

Movie Review: "Lady in the Water" (2006)

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Movie: "Lady in the Water"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2006
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 50 minutes

Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), a mythical water nymph known as a Narf, pops up in the pool of a Pennsylvania apartment complex. She is there to inspire a writer who will change the world with their ideas. After she completes her task, she is to return home on a Great Eatlon, but is attacked by a rogue Scrunt before she can be carried away. Now, Story needs the help of the building's superintendent Cleveland (Paul Giamatti) and a specific group of the complex's unique residents to help her return home.

"Lady in the Water" is a modern day fairytale based on a bedtime story director M. Night Shyamalan wrote for his kids. Some may read the summary of the film and ask, "Narfs? Scrunts? The Great Eatlon? What the hell is all this?" Well, let us break it down for you. Bryce Dallas Howard plays a Narf, which is a species of water fairy that inspires people to reach their full potential, setting them on a path to fulfill their destiny. Scrunts are vicious grass covered wolves that hunt and kill Narfs when they are out of the water. Once Narfs fulfill their task and inspire their person, they are carried back home on a Great Eatlon, which is a giant eagle. A Scrunt isn't supposed to attack a Narf when they wait for the Great Eatlon, because if it does, it will have broken the laws of the Blue World and will face the wrath of the peacekeepers, known as Tartutics, which are vicious giant tree monkeys. In this case, the Scrunt breaks the law and attacks Story while she awaits the Eatlon and risks the Tartutics wrath because Story is a Madame Narf, which is basically a Queen Narf. What a mouthful. If you just read the above explanation and immediately thought, "this is stupid," chances are, you will hate this movie. We, on the other hand, do appreciate the effort it took Shyamalan to create such an original and modern fairy tale which was not based on any previous publications. The story is different and does translate decently to the screen as fairy tale-esque, but this is not to say "Lady in the Water" isn't without its problems. The film wasn't well received and just barely cleared its budget at the global box office. A major problem in this film came with Shyamalan's choice to cast himself in the role of the prolific world changing writer. Not only did he lack the acting chops to pull it off, coming off as more monotonous than world changing, to the audience, it might come off as a little more than self-indulgent to cast himself as the saver of the planet. We like Paul Giamatti as an actor and he is good as superintendent Cleveland Heep, but his stutter isn't the most convincing we're ever heard and sounds very forced most of the time.

The pacing at times can be a little slow. A lot is piled on in a short amount of time, which can become more than confusing if you forget the difference between a narf and a scrunt. The whole story is about destiny and people finding their purpose, a theme Shyamalan explores quite often in his films, which has gotten a little cliche through the years. Cleveland must locate the people in his apartment complex who are destined to help Story. They have no idea who each of these people are, and yet they are all destined to be there and were drawn there by some unseen force, all in the same place at the same moment. We're not sure what it is about Shyamalan, but destiny and water are two of his favorite subjects. Many of the aspects of this movie are contrived, but there seems to be a balance between new and unique and this forced sameness.

Overall, "Lady in the Water" is a decent movie, not Shyamalan's best, but certainly not his worst.

My Rating: 5.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 24%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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One year ago, we were watching: "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

Movie Review: "The Happening" (2008)

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Movie: "The Happening"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2008
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 31 minutes

A strange phenomenon starts happening in cities on the east coast, causing people to inexplicably kill themselves. Meanwhile, a high school science teacher named Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel), attempt to flee the city with his friend Julian (John Leguizamo) and Julian's young daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) and look for safety, but the event is spreading faster than they can run. 

Still ain't as bad as 2015's "Fantastic Four."

"The Happening" is a clear sign that the once acclaimed director M. Night Shyamalan's talent for directing had been steadily declining over the years. This film marks one of the worst in his downward spiral, there's no denying this fact, proving that poor reception of his previous film "The Lady in the Water" was no fluke. Said downward trajectory has haunted him and has continued to this day. One of his lowest rated movies, "The Happening" is also Shyamalan's first and only foray into the R-rated realm, hoping a little gore and unknown terror would bring audiences to see his "horror" film.

Initially, the film shows promise with some pretty cool and gruesome looking death scenes where people inexplicably kill themselves in multiple different ways at the drop of a hat. Within the first 4 minutes of the movie, as soon as Mark Wahlberg is shown on scree, it's the terrible dialogue and horribly bad acting that really gets in the way of every single other scene. Since this film's release, Shyamalan has claimed the dry, emotionless, wooden delivery of his ridiculous, out of place and often times rambling dialogue was all intentional in the hopes to duplicate the feel of a low budget B-movie. What Shyamalan failed to realize is it's very difficult to intentionally duplicate what others accidentally do when it comes to B-movie status. When other directors make these low budget B-movies, they naturally come off with a certain feel because of budget restraints. Actors in those types of films usually didn't intentionally give lousy performances, they just weren't high caliber actors. When normally A-list actors, like two-time Academy Award nominee Mark Wahlberg, put in poor performances, it comes off looking like they were just phoning it in and didn't remotely care about the project. When we can describe Zooey Deschanel down to the hairs on her freckles because there are so many close, tight shots of her face, it comes off more like Shyamalan had never picked up a camera in his life and simply forgot to take it off auto-zoom. Even if the movie had better dialogue with passionate delivery, let's face it, the entire concept is pretty idiotic anyway. The twist of what has been causing all of the mass suicides is laughable at best. On top of this, for a movie around 90 minutes, the pacing isn't very good and it feels like it drags on and on at times.

All this being said, though a poor excuse for a horror film, it's bad, but it isn't the worst we've ever seen, and not even the worst by Shyamalan, who had far bigger cinematic atrocities to commit later in following films. This was not the nail in his directorial coffin, but it sure as hell came close to being the case.

My Rating: 4.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 14%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.
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One year ago, we were watching: "Transformers: Age of Extinction"

Movie Review: "After Earth" (2013)

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Movie: "After Earth"
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Year: 2013
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Welcome a post about the worst movie we have seen in a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

Josh and I made it a point at one time in our lives to only see "big" movies in the theater, such as actions, musicals, big theatrical movies, you know? Stuff that's better on the big screen. If it weren't for our sick curiosity, we wouldn't have seen "After Earth" in the theater. We also probably wouldn't have seen it on DVD, either.

See, friends, we don't like Jaden Smith. "The Karate Kid" remake was nothing special. He seems to be an arrogant little twerp who is leeching off his dad's fame. If his dad wasn't Will Smith, I don't think he'd get half the recognition he gets. We don't particularly like Will Smith either. He's okay, but I think he's try-hard, and Oscar baity, and plus, he's "in the know" with Tom Cruise...you know what I mean. Now, while we love the movie "Signs," which some people think is awful, you can't diminish the good work M. Night Shyamalan did with "The Sixth Sense." It's a freaking classic. But, he's just not good anymore. He's got nothing left except twist endings and failed franchises. In fact, I wouldn't have even thought twice about him being the director of this movie if wehadn't gone on IMDB firsthand to see for ourselves. It seems like everyone involved with the film tried to hide the fact that Shyamalan was the director of this movie for fear that it would be terrible.
WELL FOLKS, IT DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP HIDING ITS AWFULNESS BECAUSE IT'S JUST AWFUL.

We also saw it from his perspective: "if M. Night Shyamalan, director of such flops as "The Village," "The Happening," and "The Last Airbender" didn't want to get his stink all over this poo-storm, HOW BAD CAN IT BE????"

BAD.

First of all, let's do a short synopsis. Humans are forced to leave Earth after it becomes uninhabitable due to their own negligence. They settle in a place they call Nova Prime, HOLD UP! This planet is no ordinary planet: it has alien monster things called URSA(s) that smell and sense fear. Otherwise, it's fine! The Rangers are trained to become fearless and suppress their fear in order to become invisible to the URSA. IT'S CALLED GHOSTING, PEOPLE, AND IT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS. Not a bad concept, but we'll get to that later.

Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) fails his Ranger training because he is unable to control his fear. His father, Cypher Raige (Will Smith, OMG HIS RILL LIFE DAD!!!11) is a stone-cold, fear-suppressing commander type person who is sorta kinda disappointed his son didn't pass his training but will only yell at him to get his point across. Cypher is pretty much forced by his wife to drag Kitai along on his last routine mission before retirement. URSA in tow, their ship crashes on Earth, killing everyone aboard except for the father-son duo. ZOMG, BONDING TIME! Nope, Cypher has two broken legs and a damaged signaling device to let their home planet know they crashed. Cypher explains to Kitai that he must wander through the "perilous" regions of Earth, a class-one quarantined planet on which everything has evolved to kill humans (WUT??) to find the tail-end of the plane with the second signaling device. Here lies the problem: despite this warning, it would seem most of Earth's animals and beings are a minor nuisance and not much different than TODAY'S animals, given that you were stuck in the jungle all alone with only a double-sided sword. THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IN THIS MOVIE IS THE THING THEY BROUGHT WITH THEM ON THEIR SHIP AND LIVE WITH ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS. 

Three-fifths of the way through the movie, we find out that Kitai's super awesome, wonderful suit HAS A FREAKIN' FLYING SQUIRREL APPARATUS WHICH WOULD CUT DOWN HIS TIME TO REACH THE TAIL-END OF THE SHIP BY HALF. He didn't think he should just USE THE FLYING SQUIRREL APPARATUS THE ENTIRE TIME WHEN HALF OF HIS BREATHING FLUID WAS DESTROYED?????

Back to the concept of this movie: it could have been good, but the story, the acting, the directing, the CGI (WHY CGI THINGS WE'VE SEEN BEFORE??)...everything! Everything was bad! Will Smith's seriousface just comes off as unintentionally comical, but not in a HA-HA! type of way. Jaden Smith yells the entire movie because he's mad that his ~*dad was never there for him and his sister.~* Despite the two being ACTUAL father and son in real life, they have virtually no on-screen chemistry, which we thought was impossible.

We are both sci-fi fans. We are both fantasy fans. What this movie advertised was a sci-fi-action-epic where Will Smith and his son have to battle against hyper-evolved Earth-monsters after a crash-landing. What it delivered was a boring coming-of-age story with birds and baboons and big cats and jungleness and a kid who, despite being an almost Ranger on his own planet had NO IDEA how to use a double-sided sword and could barely fend for himself. Do the Rangers only teach people about running???

With all of this being said, the most egregious and distracting thing in this movie were the accents. WHY MAKE THEM HAVE ACCENTS AT ALL? Just because they live on a different planet DOESN'T MEAN they have to have a half Jamaican, half "Downton Abbey" British accent. SO DISTRACTING.

We are washing our hands of "After Earth" after this post. We are enraged just writing about it, and so we will never speak of it again.

My Rating: 2.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 11%
Do we recommend this movie: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000x NO.
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One year ago, we were watching: "Animal House"