Lolo's Lists: Top 10 WORST Movies of 2014!

Usually on movie review sites, people start out with the films they loved every year. Most people want to know about the best of everything! Well, we don't do things the same on this here blog, so we're going to share our top 10 worst films of 2014 with you all today! Trust us when we say this list was easy peasy compared to the films we loved. Even after seeing 123 movies in the theater in 2014, some of these we've had in mind since early on this year.

We will start at #10 and move onto our #1 worst film. Keep in mind, these are only movies that came out in 2014, whether we saw them in the theater or on DVD. Of course, we can only rate the movies we have seen (sorry, "The Legend of Hercules," we'll get to you soon). Happy New Year, now avoid these movies in 2015!
~~~~~~~~~~

10) "The Other Woman" (3.5/10) - While we're huge proponents for female empowerment, "The Other Woman" is a perfect example of how not to get it. Offensive, stereotypical and downright laughable (and not in a good way), "we spent most of the film rolling our eyes and shaking our heads at the forced jokes and regression of womanhood as we know it." Tons of people loved this movie, but us, not so much. It just barely earned a spot on our top 10 list.

9) "A Million Ways to Die in the West" (3.5/10, collectively) - Ripe with the same jokes that you'd see in your average episode of "Family Guy," just with more f-bombs, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" it literally a crapfest, and if you've seen the movie, you'll know what we mean. Trying so desperately to be a modern age "Blazing Saddles" this movie claimed its rightful spot on our worst 10 films of 2014 list with ease. Not even Liam Neeson could save this movie. It even made us question our status as online film critics, and as we mentioned when we first saw the movie, "It's conflicting because, as bloggers, we want to SEE ALL THE THINGS!!! but as people with morals and self-respect, maybe we need to redraw our line and stop inadvertently funding McFarlane's feeble, ineffectual, and insufficient attempts at what constitutes as humor."

8) "That Awkward Moment" (3.5/10, collectively) - It seems like romance took a huge step backwards in 2014, and we're not going to be blaming the children of today if their perceptions of true love are skewed in the wrong direction with movies like 'That Awkward Moment" being in existence. Is this really what dating is like today? Because if it is, boy, we're glad we're happily married! This movie spews out the same regurgitated and formulaic rom-com plot line we've come to loathe and chocks it full of "a never-ending stream of f-bombs, jokes about erections, jokes about pooing, with sprinkles of something that resembles sentimentality at a fourth grade level." When movies are "encased in a soft shell of misogyny, try-hardedness, bad spray-tanner, and poor delivery, it makes for an "awkward" viewing experience." Skip this one, even if you're a Zac Efron fan.

7) "I, Frankenstein" (3/10) - Not even Aaron Eckhart's rock hard abs could salvage "I, Frankenstein" from being an excessive waste of time. The silly nicknames for its characters are excessive, the video game graphics are excessive, the horribly poor script writing is excessive. It's just all too much! Everyone involved in this project either took this movie way too seriously or owed someone in Hollywood a major favor and got stuck being in it. And it's not even ironically funny like "The Room," it's just bad-bad.

6) "The Best of Me" (3/10) - Luke Bracey has the derpiest face in all of Hollywood. There, we said what everyone was thinking. "The Best of Me" is one of the worst offenders in a long line of movies with unrealistic and really, unhealthy, expectations for love and relationships. It's also proof that: 1) all Nicholas Sparks books apparently "deserve" film adaptations because teenage girls and middle-aged housewives still eat this crap up; 2) casting directors have no idea what it means to grow up because Luke Bracey and James Marsden look nothing alike; and 3) you can be a less than mediocre actor and still get hired. This movie is a complete and utter recycled misery on top of the fact that "it's disingenuous, asinine, abhorrent, and loathsome. What a waste of time."

5) "Sex Tape" (3/10) - 2014 seemed to mean raunchier comedies hitting the big screen, but it also seems like the raunchier they get, the more dumb they get, too. "Sex Tape" has a simple enough plot, a couple makes a sex tape and it gets sent into the "cloud," so they need to retrieve it so their friends and family won't see it. The only problem is, not only is there not that much nudity and sex in a movie called "Sex Tape," but what little there is contains no excitement, no chemistry between leads Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, and really, no comedy whatsoever. Plus, this movie continues the tired cliche that, before couples get married, they have tons of sex, but once a ring gets puts on it, all sexy-time stops. In the case of "Sex Tape," what they are saying is the complete opposite of every. single. one. of Diaz and Segel's conversations, which all revolve around sex. At least it isn't that long time-wise.

4) "Ouija" (2/10) - A movie adaptation of a board game doesn't even sound like a good idea! Another Michael Bay production, "Oiuja" is utterly pointless and crudely acted on top of being completely devoid of suspense, thrills and chills. At the end of the day, this movie has a lame, not scary plot and just flat out sucks. We can't wait for the film adaptation of "Go Fish" since it seems like that's where the film industry is headed. PG-13 horror movies should die in a fire.

3) "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (2.25/10, collectively) - If you only read one of our movie reviews this year, please, do yourself a favor and read our review for "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." It's one of our best, if we do say so ourselves. Films like this are the reason we wanted to become reviewers, to share our disdain with the world. Kids will enjoy this movie for its "boom" (read: over-explosionated, CGI-riddled, lack-of-imagination stink-bomb) factor, but for those of us who have been around since the late 70's/early 80's, we know that everything about Michael Bay's intentions to destroy our childhood memories is wrong. All wrong. Bay didn't even direct this movie, he just produced it, and it still has his stink all over it! This movie is NOT called "'Middle-Aged-Lifeless-Super-Mouth-Breather" IT'S CALLED "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA FUCKING TURTLES." We might still be bitter about this one.

2) "Left Behind" (2/10) - When we first heard about "Left Behind," we thought, "okay, this will be a good movie to see for the LOL factor." The problem is, there were really no LOLs to be had. It's as if filmmakers went out of their way to make Nicolas Cage not have a freak-out scene so he could look sane and normal. Poorly acted and shrouded in religious rhetoric, "Left Behind" is simply terrible. Nicolas Cage should have given up years ago.

1) "Dumb and Dumber To" (1/10) - Do you know what it is like to not laugh during a movie? Watch "Dumb and Dumber To" and you will most likely know how it feels. We like to think that we are the "every-man's" movie critic in that we base most of what we like or don't like on how entertained we are during a film. We're not stuffy shirts. We know that humor is subjective from person to person, but this movie is straight-up not funny. We kid you not, we didn't laugh once, and neither did anyone else in the mostly full theater with us. "It's hard to say that this film was a disappointing failure 20 years in the making because filmmakers waited so long to produce a sequel for the masses. Even if they had waited only 10 years, it probably would have been 10 years too long." This sequel is a "filthy for no point, unoriginal and rehashed, poorly acted stink bomb cash-grab movie." What a fucking disaster.
~~~~~~~~~~

We hope you enjoyed our list! Do you agree or disagree? What was the worst film of 2014 for you? Let us know in the comments below!

Movie Review: "Wild" (2014)

Image Source

Movie: "Wild"
Director: Jean-Marc Vallee
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 55 minutes

Following the death of her mother, Cheryl (Reese Witherspoon) has sunken into depression, drug addiction, and a promiscuous lifestyle. After destroying her marriage and hitting rock bottom with an unplanned pregnancy and not knowing who the father is, Cheryl decides to turn her life around, and she knows just how to do it. She heads off on a journey of self-discovery on the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), where she is going to walk over 1,000 miles alone through the desert and mountains, despite having little to no hiking experience. Based on a true story.

After seeing the trailer for this movie over the course of several months, we assumed this film would basically be Reese Witherspoon taking a walk, and it is, but not in the way you'd expect. It's actually much better than that. As we mentioned in the synopsis, this movie is about self-discovery and redemption, but also about coming to terms with what you cannot change in life no matter how hard you try. A friend of ours who saw the movie with us brought up an excellent point. This entire film is an allegory for death itself. When a loved one dies, you must learn to accept help from others, even if you don't want to do so. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. You can be immature about it and act out irrationally, but in the end, you're only hurting yourself because you're really hurting inside. By accepting help from others on her journey, Cheryl was able to complete her hiking mission where she probably would have otherwise failed. The hike itself is a physical manifestation of her emotional problems, from sex with strangers and cheating on her husband to descending into a drug and alcohol problem, all of which stem from the death of her mother, who was "the love of her life."

Reese Witherspoon puts on a brilliantly fantastic performance as Cheryl Strayed as she braves so many different elements emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and naturally. We really understand her character's fears, both in the wild and during her life's trials. We empathize with her loss and her hardship not just afterwards, but during her hike as well. We had the same thoughts as she did on screen, like "is this random person a murderer or rapist?," "am I going to find water today?," "will I die out here?," "when can I get the proper supplies so I don't die out here?," and most importantly, "how much longer is this going to take!?" BigJ and I are not hikers, but we can imagine we'd have way less success than she did with such an undertaking. The scenery and the beauty of the Pacific Crest Trail's wilderness made us almost yearn to be hikers, but seeing her struggles and breakdowns every single day also made us glad that we're not hikers, because we would have most certainly died. This movie makes you cry in one scene and then cringe as she rips off her toenail in another. It makes you happy that she keeps on keeping on during her journey, and then makes you regret it when she poops in a hole or runs out of water. The emotional and physical responses this movie elicits are palpable, and this is all due to the wonderful direction by Jean-Marc Vallée. The way he chose to break the movie into two separate parts, her present journey and flashbacks from throughout Cheryl's life, was a smart decision that paid off in the end because we as an audience can look back on and feel our own experiences through watching her past and present experiences on the PCT. Our one gripe about the movie is that, though she was dirty looking, Cheryl never truly looked dirty enough throughout the movie.

All in all, we really enjoyed this film and the many stages of how it made us think about our lives through Cheryl's experience. Reese Witherspoon gives a wonderful, award winning performance, and the cinematography, direction and screenplay adaptation are all excellent.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 92%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!

Movie Review: "Foxcatcher" (2014)

Image Source

Movie: "Foxcatcher"
Director: Bennett Miller
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 14 minutes

Mark (Channing Tatum) and Dave Schultz (Mark Ruffalo) are wrestlers, brother, and Olympic gold medalists. Dave is considered a legend in the sport of wrestling and Mark has lived in his shadow. Dave works as a coach at a university and Mark struggles to get by. He sometimes does personal appearances at elementary schools at $20 a pop, since, at the time, there wasn't much opportunity for wrestlers to make money in their sport outside of coaching. One day, Mark is contacted by an eccentric billionaire named John E. du Pont (Steve Carell), who is part of the famous du Pont family. John wants Mark to come to Foxcatcher ranch and help train the U.S. wrestling team for the 1987 World Championships and the 1988 Olympics in Japan. He offers Mark a huge salary to have him coach, as well as a state-of-the-art wrestling facility. Mark agrees and goes on to win the world championship. Shortly after, due to drugs and other factors, Mark and John have a falling out and John brings Dave in to coach at Foxcatcher ranch. This sets off a series of tragic events as John's behavior becomes increasingly bizarre and unstable. 

"Foxcatcher" has received a lot of hype as far as the acting goes and it did not disappoint in that aspect. Steve Carell takes a huge leap away from his usual and expected comedic lead actor role, and though it is not the first time he has done this, it is the first time that he has done so with such conviction, giving a powerhouse performance as John du Pont. His appearance and speech changed, Carell is recognizable as his own person, but unrecognizable in this movie, meaning we don't see Carell, we only see John du Pont. His performance is simply fantastic. Carell brings to life minor details in du Pont's character, little minutiae, and ticks that du Pont really had as a person, and makes them front and center to his bizarre personality. His performance definitely award-worthy, though this year boasts some stiff competition. The good acting does not end with Carell, though, as both Mark Ruffalo and Channing Tatum were able to convey and display all of the mannerisms, behaviors, and body posturing that the Schultz brothers have in real life as wrestlers often do. Tatum, who is often more muscly by nature, maintained his fit form but also exhibited a large under-bite and prominent chin. Ruffalo, a former wrestler himself who now typically has a smaller build, gained a lot of muscle mass for the part of Dave. In an effort to truly capture the spirit of the brothers as wrestlers, Tatum and Ruffalo both trained for many months prior to and during the filming of the movie, and Tatum even busted his eardrum during one take where he told Ruffalo to smack him and get it over with. These minute details, to us, show tremendous amounts of painstaking detail in wanting to get the persons portrayed just right, and for the better.

Many people may not have heard about this film until it started getting award attention, though BigJ and I were both really looking forward to it. BigJ has watched the UFC since it began, and Mark Schultz actually fought in an early UFC event, so he was familiar with him already. Knowing the story ahead of time, nothing was a spoiler to us as BigJ told me pretty much everything there was to know about the Schultz brothers since he is so into MMA and amateur wrestling. That being said, despite all of its great acting, "Foxcatcher" is a pretty dull movie and is almost completely carried by the acting alone. The beginning of the movie initially starts out strong, showing how Mark ate, slept and breathed every single minute of his life for wrestling. At the time when he was an Olympian, the sport of wrestling did not pay very much outside of coaching, and there was no other way for these world-class athletes to earn money in their craft. Though there are good individual elements scattered throughout the movie, the overall feel of it is rather boring and drudges along to its ultimate climax. A little bit of the suspense may have been eliminated for us knowing the true story's outcome, but this does not take away from the fact that this film moves very slowly and is not all that enthralling as a whole. Plus, the filmmaker made a strange decision to compress about 9 years worth of their history into what seems to be less than 2 years. This squeezing of the real lifetime frame made it seem like John du Pont just snapped one day and went crazy, where he should have never been trusted in the first place. In actuality, du Pont slowly drifted into his madness and paranoia over a longer time period.

Overall, the acting makes this movie as successful as it is. Without these 3 actors, or even if they were changed, it could have been a really awful movie, but they carry it an save it from being horrible.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 86%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "American Hustle"

Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "Bunraku" (2010)

Image Source

Movie: "Bunraku"
Director: Guy Moshe
Year: 2010
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

In the distant future, mankind has destroyed itself with the advancement of weaponry. This has led to a ban on all firearms and other explosive weapons. Unfortunately, this ban did not end violence as men have just reverted to using swords and axes to do their killing. The one who is best at killing rules the rest. Nicola the Woodcutter (Ron Perlman) is the most powerful and dangerous man east of the Atlantic and he, his 9 killers and his "Red Gang" street thugs rule the area with an iron fist. One day, two outsiders come into town, a drifter (Josh Hartnett) and the cousin of a local restaurant owner named Yoshi (Gackt), who both have a similar goal to kill Nicola, though for different reasons. Though combative at first, Yoshi and the Drifter may have to put their differences aside and join forces if they ever hope to get close enough to Nicola to achieve their mutual goal. 

"Bunraku," at its core, is the most basic revenge story. A mysterious man, in this case Josh Hartnett, shows up in town where the big villain in charge has unknowingly (or knowingly) wronged them in the past. Now that this mysterious man is well-prepared and fully trained, he is ready to take his revenge. This villain, of course, has an army of nameless fodder for the hero to run over and defeat with ease. There is also a clan of sub-bosses, who are a more difficult task that actually take effort to defeat. Then, there is the villain's right-hand man, who can be as good as or in some cases better than the big boss himself. There isn't much else to the story. There isn't a whole lot of compelling dialogue apart from a few lines of fortune cookie philosophy. There isn't even a real interesting plot or subplot apart from revenge.

Where this film tries to set itself apart is through its setting, style, and visuals, which can be pretty cool at times. The entire opening number is drawn in a very comic book style almost like "Sin City," but without the pomp and circumstance. The movie is set in the future, but the style of dress and cars are more reminiscent of the past, circa the 1940's. It is almost a western and Japanese martial arts film mash-up that takes place in an urban environment. The set and cinematography are also very stylized as well. The entire set reminds us more of a stage play, cartoon, or comic book rather than a motion picture. There are no on-location shots with any natural environment. Everything is constructed and all of the backgrounds are painted. As interesting and ambitious as the art direction was, we can't say the same about the rest of the visuals. For a movie that banks so heavily on its style, it was a little all over the place. When push comes to shove, there just wasn't much that set "Bunraku" apart from the hundreds of other revenge movies already in existence. When it came to the fight scenes and action, most of the scenes felt rather underwhelming. Even with the typically fabulous Ron Perlman, this movie only had its occasional decent moments, albeit brief.

My Rating: 4.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 19%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "Joyeux Noel" (2005)

Image Source

Movie: "Joyeux Noel"
Director: Christian Carion
Year: 2005
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

WWI is in full swing and soldiers on all sides of the war are deep in the trenches and embroiled in battle. That is, until Christmas eve, when soldiers from France, Germany, and Scotland put their differences aside, put down their weapons, and stop fighting to enjoy the holiday.

When you think about Christmas, war is not something that immediately pops into your head...is it?? And if it is, please reevaluate your life. "Joyeux Noel" is a war movie which manages to capture the spirit of Christmas. It also inspires good feelings about the holiday and might even bring a tear to your eye. It even might make you shed a couple of tears because of how sweet it is at its core. This film is a fictionalized amalgam inspired by many true incidents of impromptu ceasefires on Christmas eve and day. It shows that, despite being supposed enemies and being from different countries or from different cultures, we can all still find common ground, come together and discover that we are often more alike than we are different, no matter what those driving you to war say. War is brutal, so to watch the hundreds of soldiers stop and drink coffee together in the middle of the battlefield is not only impactful, but sentimental as well. This is not a glorification of war at all, it's just an amazing movie about togetherness, in wartime or otherwise. Christmas carols are the same no matter where you go, and as one platoon began playing "Silent Night" on the bagpipes, another began singing right alongside them in one of the best scenes of the film. This movie boasts many excellent performances by Diane Kruger, Benno Fürmann, Daniel Brühl (one of our favorites since "Goodbye, Lenin!") and Guillaume Canet. Overall, this is one of our absolute favorite Christmas movies, and if you don't like foreign films, please try and watch this one because we assure you that it's worth it. It's not just a good Christmas movie, it's a good movie in general.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 74%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "It's A Wonderful Life"

Movie Review: "Annie" (2014)

Image Source

Movie: "Annie"
Director: Will Gluck
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 58 minutes

Annie (Quvenzhané Wallis) is a young foster child who is currently under the care of an alcoholic former pop singer Ms. Hannigan (Cameron Diaz). Ms. Hannigan is still bitter that she was kicked out of C&C Music Factory right before their big break. Despite a rough childhood, Annie always tries to stay positive. One day while running through the street, Annie literally bumps into cell phone mogul and mayoral candidate Will Stacks (Jamie Foxx). She falls down and Will pulls her out of the way of an oncoming truck. This rescue was caught on camera and boosts Stacks' floundering poll numbers. Will's campaign manager Guy (Bobby Cannavale) believes Annie could be a good tool to help soften Will's rough, disconnected image and would help him get elected. Will sends his assistant Grace (Rose Byrne) to get Annie and bring her to help his campaign. Annie may wind up helping with more than Will's campaign, though. She may help him discover what is truly important in life. 

After watching the original "Annie" movie a couple of weeks ago, we were bummed that we didn't like it better after years and years of positive talk and glowing reviews about it. We didn't see what the point of a remake was, either, since there is already a remake of it from the 90's. The trailer for this new version of "Annie" has been playing for almost a year and has made us smile each time we have seen it. Critics seem to hate this movie on principle because it is a remake and this seems to be the same for some moviegoers, too, but there is also a section of people out there who have been rating it lowly without even seeing it because this Annie isn't white, and to those people we would like to say: STOP BEING A RACIST ASSHOLE.

This editorial note aside, we really, really liked this movie musical, even more than the original. Quvenzhané Wallis is a young Oscar-nominated actress and really hasn't been in too many movies, but dang, she wowed us in this! She was perfect as the titular character Annie, a girl who is down on her luck in life but always finds a way to keep on smiling. Honestly, her presence on screen, upbeat energy and glowing smile were infections and we feel like we will be seeing her a lot more through the years. Alongside her is Will Stacks (Jamie Foxx), whose gruff and out-of-touch demeanor doesn't clash well with Annie's sunny personality. Eventually, he comes around and turns out to be quite the charismatic charmer. Though still a rich billionaire and still mildly out of touch, he comes to find out what is truly meaningful in life. Wallis and Foxx's chemistry is incredibly sweet and they sing really well together, too. Unfortunately, many of the songs were auto-tuned, so we have no real way of knowing how it could have been without it. That being said, the new musical numbers are just as good as the original ones, though maybe not as catchy. Rose Byrne and Jamie Foxx, on the other hand, have good chemistry as assistant and boss, but as a romantic couple? I didn't feel it at all. Byrne was still good and provided a bit of comedy here and there. Bobby Cannavale is amazing in everything he does, skeevy and slimy or otherwise. Cameron Diaz managed to not be half bad at Ms. Hannigan, though there is not one state in this great union would see past the stink of her booze-infested house, no matter how hard she tried to clean it. Diaz is not, we repeat, not a singer and shouldn't aspire to do any more musicals after this, but the songs she sings as Ms. Hannigan are better in this version than they are in the original one due to some good backing vocals, modern producing, and setting throughout these scenes.

The plot as a whole is the same simple one as in the original and isn't re-done, it is just brought into our current and more modern time. Some might say this movie panders to big business and it does, there's really no doubt about that fact. It could have been good if this movie had gone into the current political climate as well as the divide between the rich and the poor a little more in the way the original sort of did, but hey, it's still a kids movie at the end of the day. Kids today will be able to identify with this version of the movie better than they would with the one set in the Depression era; it also helps that this version has plenty more dance numbers and vibrant colors to keep kids interested. If you go into it with a positive attitude and don't think about it too hard, chances are, you might actually like it.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 29%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

PS: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Movie Review: "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" (2014)

Image Source

Movie: "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies"
Director: Peter Jackson
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 24 minutes

After Bilbo (Martin Freeman), Thorin (Richard Armitage), and the dwarves awaken Smaug from his long sleep, Smaug is ready to unleash his fury on the people of Laketown. He delivers a continuous wrath of fire and destruction until Bard (Luke Evans) is able to succeed where his ancestor failed and slay Smaug. With Smaug dead, Thorin is able to take his rightful place as king of Erebor. With his treasure in hand, the extreme wealth of The Lonely Mountain, as well as the search for the Arkenstone have started to drive Thorin mad. When Bard seeks payment from Thorin for his promise to help rebuild Laketown, he is turned away as Thorin is not willing to give up even one single coin. To make matters worse, Thranduil (Lee Pace) has led an army of elves to stake a claim in the recovered fortune. Despite his best efforts for a peaceful resolution, Bard has gathered an army of men to take the payment they were promised. On top of that, Thorin's cousin Dain (Billy Connelly) has brought his army of Dwarves to defend Thorin and Erebor. But, when Azog (Manu Benett) and his army of orcs and trolls attack, the other armies must band together to defeat Azog and his horde.

KILIFILI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this truly the end for Middle Earth? Probably, and we'd be lying if we said we didn't cry a bit when all was said and done. "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" will probably not be anyone's favorite movie related to "The Lord of the Rings." Hell, it probably won't be anyone's favorite movie period, but damn if it's not a worthy conclusion to this trilogy. While the same problems that have plagued the series since "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" are still here in this third movie (for example, poorly done CGI, using CGI over prosthetic pieces, condensing scenes here and adding details there), BigJ and I think that this was our favorite movie in "The Hobbit" series. As one might expect, all of the "good stuff" was in this final film, and from start to finish, even as the movie opens with Smaug disintegrating Laketown, you know you're going to be in for one hell of a ride. The action never stops for a moment to catch its breath. Between Smaug and the Five Armies descending upon The Lonely Mountain, their battles are impressive and grandiose. There are even some scenes that might be considered frightening to kids under 13, so parents, be aware of that. What we like that is added in "The Battle of the Five Armies" is something that is seemingly missing from the LotR movies altogether, and that is heart. Let's face it, Frodo was sort of annoying. What "The Hobbit" has that LotR lacks can all be attributed to Martin Freeman, who we must reiterate was the greatest, bestest choice for Bilbo Baggins. His end scenes made us totally cry and gave us the feels. While the laughs and touching moments are brought by his character, the person who really stood out in this final film was Thorin, played by Richard Armitage. Here, we finally see Aritage immersed so deeply into the role of Thorin as his obsession with gold and money and power and "dragon sickness" have gone to his head in a sickening and mood-altering manner. Gone are the days when Thorin was just serious, now he's serious and downright crazy. He is not willing to part with one single coin and it drives him mad. All of the actors found in the first two "Hobbit" movie reprise their roles with the addition of Billy Connelly and all of them do so well and wonderfully.

When all is said and done, sure, some things are left out, some characters were introduced and never appear again, the movie might feel a little truncated to some but overly long to others, yet we loved this film for what it was and are sad to see the series end. No one should have to read a book to understand the characters in a movie. If the movie isn't clear enough, filmmakers and directors haven't done their job properly and have failed in not just the character development aspect, but the storytelling aspect as well. We believe this movie links the two series together nicely as we marathoned both of them back to back, and what an undertaking that was! "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" won't win any Oscars, but it's still a decent movie. Though it is not the best movie of the year, it was certainly one of the better movies of 2014. Contrary to others, we were so looking forward to this movie and it didn't disappoint us in the slightest.

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 60%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
To see our review of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey," click here.

To see our review of "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug," click here.

Movie Review: "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian " (2009)

Image Source

Movie: "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"
Director: Shawn Levy
Year: 2009
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 45 minutes

Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) has finally found success with his inventions and now heads his own company. One day, he stops by the museum where he used to work as a guard only to find many of the exhibits are going to moved to the storage room at the Smithsonian in Washington DC. The tablet of Ahkmenrah, that brings these exhibits to life, is to stay in New York. While there,  Dexter the monkey steals the tablet and takes it with them to DC. At the Smithsonian, the tablet awakens a variety of exhibits including Khamunrah (Hank Azaria), the older and much more ruthless brother of Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek), who wishes to use the tablet to raise an army of the dead and take over the world. When Jedediah (Owen Wilson) calls Larry for help, Larry poses as a security guard to help his friends and try and defeat Khamunrah.

Pretty much what little bit of magic and cuteness from the first "Night at the Museum" movie is gone in this second installment. The entire premise of this movie is sort of ridiculous, and we're not even talking about how the exhibits come to life. That's the element we've never had a problem with because it's a fantasy kids movie and it was based on a book for young adults. It was someone else's idea brought to life on the big screen. Everything beyond Larry finding success outside of the museum is completely contrived and artificial to a fault. These themes include, but are not limited to: Larry's return to the museum on the exact night they are moving exhibits; the exhibits being transferred to the Smithsonian, which only serves to parade Ben Stiller's friends out in cameo roles that only last for 30 seconds a piece; and one of the largest museums in the world having absolutely no security. These dumb plot points only exist in order to drive the movie forward into utter absurdity. Hey, but it's just a kids movie, don't think too hard about it! Well, that's our job. The movie is just dumb. Adults most likely could have tolerated the first installment but will most certainly role their eyes and grab the nearest electronic device around them to get away from watching this mindless cash grab. Amy Adams is the only moderately tolerable thing about this movie, and even BigJ was unimpressed with her. It's not to say we don't like the actors in this movie, because we do, but as a whole, this film contains so much bad writing, so much poor CGI, and so many glaring plot holes and loose ends that it's hard not to feel like it's simply boring, silly and stupid, which is how you feel after viewing it. It's largess, bloat, overkill and excess at its best. We can't say we're looking forward to watching the third and final movie in this franchise, but we will tough it out for you guys and gals.

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 44%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

Movie Review: "White Christmas" (1954)

Image Source

Movie: "White Christmas"
Director: Michael Curtiz
Year: 1954
Rating: G
Running Time: 2 hours

A pair of Army buddies named Bob Wallace (Bing Crosby) and Phil Davis (Danny Kaye) form a singing duo and become a smash hit. They look at a new sister act, Betty (Rosemary Clooney), and Judy Haynes (Vera-Ellen) as a favor to another Army friend. They are stricken by the girls' beauty and help them get out of a jam where a hotel owner is trying to exploit money from them. Phil gives the girls their train tickets so they can get out of town quick, but he also has an ulterior motive. He tricks Bob into riding on the same train to get him to run into Betty again. Things go as planned for Phil and after talking to the girls a while on the train, they decide to accompany the sisters to Vermont where they are doing a show at a local inn. When they arrive, Wallace and Davis are surprised to find out the inn is owned by their old army commanding officer General Waverly (Dean Jagger). Due to a lack of snowfall this particular year, the inn is struggling to get by and is in danger of going bankrupt. To help the general out, Wallace and Davis offer to put on a show free of charge to help him drum up business and help save the inn. 

Bing Crosby is a quintessential Christmas crooner. His songs are synonymous with the holiday season and are heavily rotated on any given Christmas station to this day. "White Christmas" is one of his most famously sung holiday songs (originally by Irving Berlin) about wanting to be somewhere where it's snowing for Christmas. Unfortunately, when Bob, Phil, Judy and Betty arrive at the inn, there is no snow there, even though they had just finished singing a 5 minute song about it. In an effort to help his former commanding officer and his inn, Bob does something completely selfless in order to help save his friend and brother in arms. This act, and really the entire movie, embodies the sentiment of Christmas, which means putting yourself aside and doing things for others and those who are in need, whether you know them or not. Family isn't always about blood relations, it's also about those who you choose to love, choose to care about, and choose to be your "family." Even though there is a little bit of drama and sappiness shoehorned in the film that is a bit out of place, the rest of the movie is relatively solid. There are a ton of catchy and wonderfully sung songs, some (now) hilarious dialogue that is so outdated that it has become ironic and funny, and great performance by Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and Rosemary Clooney, who all have great chemistry despite their age differences. The movie is a little dated in 2014 and there are some elements of it that probably wouldn't work today, like having trouble reaching out to everyone in a platoon for a reunion; today, this could be fixed with Facebook or mass texting, but this is hardly distracting from the overall point of the movie. Other parts might be deemed hokey by some, but to us, the heart the film contains outweighs any of these minor gripes. As long as you're not a complete cynic, you can probably find something about "White Christmas" that you will enjoy.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 76%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "Scrooged"

Movie Review: "Fred Claus" (2007)

Image Source

Movie: "Fred Claus"
Director: David Dobkin
Year: 2007
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 56 minutes

Fred Claus (Vince Vaughn) is the older brother of Nicholas "Santa" Claus (Paul Giamatti). Fred has lived in the shadow of his brother his entire life and has grown to resent him. Fred is very different from his brother, where Nicholas is generous and brings presents to everyone, Fred is often selfish and works as a repo man. After getting arrested for a charity scam and brawl with a group of Salvation Army Santas, Fred calls his brother to bail him out. Nicholas agrees, under the condition he come up to the North Pole and help out for the holiday season. It turns out Fred may cause more problems than he helps, as he butts heads with Santa and is disruptive to toy production. To make matters worse, "The Board" has sent an efficiency expert, Mr. Clyde (Kevin Spacey), to evaluate Santa's workshop. He gives Santa three strikes, and if Santa fails, Mr. Clyde is going to shut them down.  

Though this movie has pretty terrible reviews across the board, we have come to really like it over the years! "Fred Claus" is a different sort of tale about Santa's brother, who grew up in the shadow of the much nicer and more generous sibling. In dire need of help, he turns to Santa to basically exploit him for money knowing his giving nature. Vince Vaughn is not a well-liked actor, but his sarcasm comes across well in this movie and we believe he was an excellent choice for the jaded and passed over older brother. He and Paul Giamatti, who plays Santa, have a good sibling rivalry throughout the movie and their chemistry works nicely here. Kevin Spacey, again, plays a villain type of character and his sinister presence is felt in even the simplest of stares. Like many other holiday films we have watched this year, something from his past made him bitter and resentful about the Christmas season, which, in turn, made him an angry and resentful person year round. It seems like a couple of people are under-utilized (namely Kathy Bates and Rachel Weisz), but overall, most of the actors do just fine in their given roles.

Though there are some glaringly contrived and overly sappy parts of this movie, the general sweet sentiment is one that we enjoy. The message of the movie conveys that there are really no naughty kids out there. Sure, there are kids who do bad things, but there are often underlying reasons as to why they behave that way. Deep down, all of these "bad" kids are actually good kids, but haven't been shown the right love or understanding to make them act "good." We're not sure we agree with this notion 100%, and maybe it's the sap talking, but probably every kid does deserve a present on Christmas, no matter how devilish they are throughout the year. The humor of the film is hit or miss, and mostly garners chuckles and smirks, though there is a hilarious scene towards the end of the movie where siblings of famous people all gather in a sibling support group and it is sort of a hilariously genius idea. The one distracting thing is Ludacris' digitatized face on someone else's body. It's really annoying to look at because you can tell it's digital and hovering over the body!

Overall, this is a decent Christmas movie. It might not be the best, but hey, we like it, and it's certainly not the worst we've seen this year.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 21%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "A Christmas Story"

Movie Review: "The Muppet Christmas Carol" (1992)

Add caption

Movie: "The Muppet Christmas Carol"
Director: Brian Henson
Year: 1992
Rating: G
Running Time: 1 hour, 25 minutes

Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine) owns The Counting House and cares only for money. He despises the Christmas season and the idea of charity and good will towards his fellow man. He also underpays his employees like Bob Cratchet (Kermit the Frog). On Christmas eve, Scrooge is visited by the ghosts of his old business partners, Jacob & Robert Marly (Statler & Waldorf), who warn him of his fate of dragging chains in the afterlife. To help save his soul, Scrooge is visited by three spirits who intend to show him the true meaning of Christmas and his past, present, and future. 

There are many, many versions of "The Christmas Carol," and if you had to pick one version to share with your kids, this would be an excellent choice. Several of the adaptations of this story might be hard for children to not just sit through, but to be engaged in and understand fully. Kids and adults alike can appreciate the Muppets and their version of this classic Charles Dickens tale brings a lot of laughs, smiles and like most Muppet films. songs, to the table. By featuring the Muppets, this movie is able to capture the spirit and sentiment of the "Christmas Carol" story as a whole. It stays relatively faithful to the tale and doesn't shy away from the darker themes and moments this story can bring. However, this movie also has fun in between the seriousness in the form of cheerful songs and a lot of witty exchanges prevalent in Muppet culture. Again, the humor isn't so childish that adults will be displeased while watching it, as can be the case with many kids films. Michael Caine and his dry British delivery was the perfect choice for Ebenezer Scrooge in this adaptation. He "gets along" with the Muppets really well and seemed to fall right into place among them. We can imagine it must have been really hard to either keep a bitter and straight face while sitting next to Kermit the Frog, or to try to yell at him...who can resist that cute green smile? Sure, some of the jokes are obvious and overly silly, but the sweetness of the story overshadows any flaws in its humor. Using the Muppets as actors is a great way to introduce younger people to this timeless piece of literature. We also really love how the film introduces each individual Muppet as the actor in their respective part, not the puppeteer. Personally, we love the Muppets, so it only makes sense that we love rendition of "The Christmas Carol."

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 69%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "The Polar Express"

Movie Review: "Top Five" (2014)

Image Source

Movie: "Top Five"
Director: Chris Rock
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Andre Allen (Chris Rock) was a popular comedic star who hit it big at the box office with his "Hammy the Bear" hokey action comedies. After some big life changes like getting sober and prepping for his marriage to reality star Erica Long (Gabrielle Union), Allen is no longer interested in doing comedy. While on a press tour for his new drama "Uprize," about the Haitian revolution, he reluctantly agrees to do an interview with New York Times reporter Chelsea Brown (Rosario Dawson). She is unexpectedly able to relate to Allen through her past addictions and is able to get him to open up about the more intimate details of his life and why he wants to give up on comedy. 

"Top Five" pretty much flew past our radars and to our surprise, very few theaters near us have even been offering it to view. It is not a perfect movie, but it's pretty damn entertaining. We're not really huge Chris Rock fans, and lately, like his character Andre Allen, he has been making some horrible career moves (See: "Grown Ups 2"). Rock wrote and directed and starred in this movie and had quite a few poignant things to say about the entertainment industry today. The friend who went with us even compared some parts of it to "Birdman," to which I agreed to an extent. It is about an actor trying to reinvent himself in a genre that is completely foreign to him. In this case, Andre Allen wants to move on from comedy and comedy movies because he doesn't feel funny anymore. In his leap to drama, critics and fans alike have lambasted him for this choice and refuse to see him as anything but a comedic actor. Allen faces the same problems many real-life comedic actors do, where they are forced to choose between doing outrageously dumb movies that they don't enjoy making or even like themselves but are big financial hits (IE: anything Adam Sandler has done for the past decade and a half), or attempting to do more powerful, meaningful pieces of cinematic art that might be important to them personally, but will typically fail at box offices. This movie is pretty much Chris Rock's life, although we aren't certain if he had any substance abuse problems. It's a smart and witty film ripe with present and past cultural references, word play, and a good balance of humor and dramatic, intimate moments. It pokes fun at the current state of modern entertainment where "if it's not on camera, it didn't happen," while simultaneously bringing this notion to light. Our generation is obsessed with reality TV and making it big by "going viral," and all of these elements weave intricately throughout the course of the film. Erica Long, played by Gabrielle Union, could be representative of many, many reality stars who have no discernible talents other than being obnoxious on television. The film as a whole is very self-aware and Rock is not afraid of who it will offend and is willing to take shots at pretty much everyone to get his point across.

All this being said, the movie does feel a bit slow moving at times. Everything that happens in the film happens over the course of one day, but a couple of parts in the movie feel a little contrived and would have worked better if they had happened in brief summation or in flashback form, as many other instances in the film were handled. The romance between Chris Rock's character and Rosario Dawson's character is one you can see coming from a mile away, but we like how they are able to identify with one another based on their common experience with addiction. Beyond this rather obvious ending, the movie is relatively solid all around.

This is also Adam Sandler's best movie in years, and he's only in it for about 5 minutes. We wonder how that makes him feel about his life. He should be thanking his good pal Chris Rock for the cameo and for reminding us that Adam Sandler can actually be funny once in a while.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 90%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?

Movie Review: "Christmas with the Kranks" (2004)

Image Source

Movie: "Christmas with the Kranks"
Director: Joe Roth
Year: 2004
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 39 minutes

Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora Krank (Jamie Lee Curtis) have just bid farewell to their daughter Blair (Julie Gonzalo), who has joined the Peace Corps and is off to Peru. Since this is their first Christmas in 23 years without their daughter at home, Luther gets the idea to skip Christmas and take his wife on a Caribbean cruise. Their neighbors, friends and coworkers don't take very well to the notion of the Kranks skipping Christmas and do everything they can to convince the Kranks to join in the holiday festivities. The Kranks are determined to forgo any celebration, until their daughter calls to let them know she is coming home for Christmas as a surprise. Luther and Nora are then forced to scramble to get everything ready in time for their big Christmas eve party and their daughter's arrival.

When you think of family Christmas films, 9 times out of 10, you wouldn't ever think to think about John Grisham in the same thought.

It seems like "Christmas with the Kranks" movie was better the first time we watched it years ago, but this second time around, it has lost what little magic it had to being with. We have mixed feelings about the movie for several reasons. On one hand, we have the unbelievable audacity and the balls of the neighbors and community surrounding the Kranks who inject themselves into their life and holiday plans unprovoked. Their neighbors ridicule them, ostracize them and harass them over their choice to take a vacation for themselves for once in their life, rather than participating in the traditional holiday celebration. Who does that!? We don't live in small town America, but if we did, this would be reason enough to get the hell away from that place. Sure, in the end, a lot of the neighbors redeemed themselves by banding together to help the Kranks in their time of need, but it doesn't even begin to make up for the hell they put them through earlier in the movie. Not ever single solitary household and family on every single solitary block in every single solitary town has to do the things the same way every single Christmas like cookie cutter cut-outs all uniformed and "proper." Are we supposed to feel like Tim Allen is being a dick for not buying a Christmas tree from the Boy Scouts? Or a calendar from the cops? If they aren't going to be there for Christmas at all, and if he didn't want to do so and would rather use his money on his vacation, shouldn't he be allowed to exercise that right? Because, in all honesty, we don't feel like he's being unreasonable, the neighbors are the ones being unreasonable. The Boy Scouts and police even exploit the Kranks when their daughter is in fact coming home for Christmas in the form of jacking up the price of a twig from a Christmas tree to $100 since Luther was "a scrooge" to them earlier in the film. This is seriously the neighborhood from hell. Sure, there were things the Kranks could have done to ease tensions in their neighborhood, but really, they shouldn't have had to! Beyond this, the film is a comedy that isn't all that funny. What little comedy there is comes from slapstick and the bickering between the Kranks and their neighbors and their eventual struggle to put on a last minute Christmas party. The story as a whole is predictable at best with phony sentimentality throughout. Though the ultimate act of kindness towards a perceived enemy on the part of Luther Krank at the end of the film is a nice gesture, it came too late into its run time for the movie to be redeemed from its painful existence.

My Rating: 4.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 5%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "Scrooged"

Movie Review: "Jack Frost" (1998)

Image Source

Movie: "Jack Frost"
Director: Troy Miller
Year: 1998
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 41 minutes

Jack Frost  is the lead singer of The Jack Frost Band as well as a husband and father. He is a good father to his son Charlie (Joseph Cross)...when he's around. Unfortunately, due to his music career, he often is away and regularly disappoints his son when he can't do what he promises. While driving to surprise his family after blowing off the biggest opportunity of his career, Jack is killed when he loses control of his car in a snow storm. The following Christmas, Charlie has been really depressed and rightfully so. One night, he decides to build a snowman like he has so many times with his father and dresses it in his dad's scarf and hat while making a wish on the harmonica his dad gave him. That wish brings his dad back to life as the snowman Charlie had just built, giving Jack a final chance to make things right with his son. 

Before he was pontificating in "Birdman," Michael Keaton was punning it up in "Jack Frost." And we mean PUNNING. This movie is full of them and there's probably not one single scene in the entire film without a really obvious snow-pun related to balls or other December/Christmas tidings. Michael Keaton plays the titular character Jack Frost and comes off as more of a middle-aged father trying to be cool and uses young lingo, frosted tips and a hip dressing style to try and recapture his youth as opposed to being a genuinely cool rock star who happens to be a loving father. The connection between Joseph Cross and Michael Keaton really wasn't there until the end of the movie, though we empathize with Cross and his feelings throughout the movie after losing his father. Once a snowman, Michael Keaton's Jack Frost begins a series of horridly cheese-infested one-liners and engages in silly wintertime activities like a snowball fight with the school's bully and a "radical" snowboarding chase scene down a mountain, which uses some of the worst close-up green screened CGI shots we have ever seen. A lot of people think that the Jack Frost snowman looks horribly executed, but we think it was fine most of the time when you could tell that it was an animatronic. When it ventured into CGI'ed territory, then it got a really bad look. As the reincarnated Jack Frost, he then proceeds to run and hide from his wife for the entire duration of the movie for really no stated reason other than vanity. It seems like Frost was more than willing to allow his wife to think their son was batshit crazy as opposed to revealing his true self to end the argument. Once we get passed all of the father/son bonding play in the snow time, Jack Frost essentially borrows the rest of its plot from "Frosty the Snowman," but with 100 times the snow-puns. This isn't even a movie that adults will really enjoy watching with their kids, though it is tolerable. Though not the worst holiday movie ever made, it's still sort of grating to watch and a shame to see how low Michael Keaton, at one time, was willing to go to stay relevant post-Batman. Overall, while its heart is in the right place when all is said and done, the execution to getting there is sloppy, cheesy, over-thought and under-developed.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "Miracle on 34th Street"

Movie Review: "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" (2012)

Image Source

Movie: "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"
Director: Peter Jackson
Year: 2012
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 49 minutes

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) enjoys his home life in The Shire in his cozy Hobbit hole. When the Wizard Gandalf the Gray (Ian McKellen) shows up unexpectedly, Bilbo's life is about to change forever. That evening, Bilbo gets some more unexpected visitors in the form of 13 Dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), heir to the throne of Erebor. Gandalf has suggested that Bilbo work as a thief for Thorin in order to steal the Arkenstone from the Dragon Smaug, who has taken over Erebor. Reluctant at first, Bilbo is eventually convinced and sets out for the adventure of a lifetime on the perilous road to The Lonely Mountain. 

With this first film of three in the beginning saga of Middle Earth (which should have been a two-parter at most, in our opinion), Peter Jackson is at the helm once again to bring us only one third of a story in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey," which is adapted from the book and the horribly creepy animated film that still gives me nightmares to this day. Martin Freeman stars are a young Bilbo Baggins and proves he was the ideal and perfect casting choice to play this role. His slightly sarcastic demeanor, quick wit and striking facial resemblance to Ian Holm are just a few of the many reasons why Freeman kills is a Bilbo. We couldn't see this part going to anyone else with the same impact that Freeman had on the movie. Ian McKellan reprises his role as Gandalf and is always fantastic. He hasn't lost a beat since the original trilogy. Newcomer Richard Armitage really helps bring Thorin Oakenshield to life in all his angsty, brooding, dwarfy glory. His facial expressions range from stone-cold serious to deep-in-thought stoic and it had to be hard for him to very rarely ever smile in this movie. Each individual dwarf has a specific uniqueness about them, and together, they all form a weird, mismatched, zany but fun-loving clan and family. The story itself is a grand one and everything that a life changing journey should be. To us, changes to this story don't matter as long as it is well executed on film and manages to remain entertaining. Also, "The Song of The Lonely Mountain" is spectacular, as is the entire score for this film.

It's easy to knock this movie down a couple pegs when it gets compared to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, but realistically, any movie would get knocked down a couple of pegs when compared to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. To us, this original series is one of the apexes in not just film making, but in storytelling, too. Just because "The Hobbit" does not meet that very, very, very high bar of greatness does not diminish this movie as also being great and fun. Many casual "Lord of the Rings" fans and critics have been and may continue to be disappointed with this new set of "Hobbit" movies because of Jackson's favoring of CGI over practical effects, which is part of why "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy is so spectacular and magical. Some of the CGI aspects are well executed, while others, like Azog the Defiler, fall completely short and look hokey. We have seen what Jackson's original prosthetics looked like, and because of his choice to film this movie in a higher frame rate, the prosthetics were largely dropped by the wayside. We would have loved to see it done the other way around where Jackson favored practical effects over everything else. A lot of fans of the book have complained about Jackson's expansion of the story and re-imagining of some details, as well as the addition of new characters, but we happen to like many of these changes as "The Hobbit" film is not simply an adaptation of the book, but a full prequel to "The Lord of the Rings." These many additions help completely tie "The Hobbit" into the older trilogy where previously their only connection would have lied with the Precious. That being said, this movie is quite long and didn't need to be. As we mentioned above, this trilogy could have easily been split into two parts as was originally intended Peter Jackson. At the behest of the studios involved, Jackson was forced to expand it into a trilogy, a little to its detriment. Despite all of this, "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" still manages to be a fun beginning to Bilbo and the dwarves' journey to The Lonely Mountain.

My Rating: 10/10
BigJ's Rating: 10/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 64%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
To see our review of "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug," click here.

To see our review of "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies," click here.

Netflix Instant Queue Movie Review: "Annie" (1982)

Image Source

Movie: "Annie"
Director: John Huston
Year: 1982
Rating: PG
Running Time: 2 hours, 7 minutes

Annie (Aileen Quinn) is an orphan living at a home for girls run by the sinister Miss Hannigan (Carol Burnett). Despite living in a miserable situation, Annie always keeps high spirits and looks on the bright side of life. When Grace Farrell (Ann Reinking) is looking for an orphan to stay with her billionaire boss Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks (Albert Finney) for a week as a publicity stunt to improve his gruff image, she chooses Annie. Daddy Warbucks and Annie have a tumultuous start to their relationship, but eventually start to bond with one another. He even wants to adopt her, but Annie holds out hope that her parents, who gave her half of a locket when they dropped her at the orphanage, will return for her. Daddy Warbucks vows to help Annie find her parents, even if it means putting his own new found feelings aside.

What's not to love about an adorable orphan girl with the cutest red hair you ever saw? A lot, apparently.

This movie was adapted from the stage and brought to life by director John Huston, whose previous accolades include "Treasure of the Sierra Madre," "Key Largo," "The Maltese Falcon" and "The African Queen," some of the best films ever made. While this family film is not spectacular, it does have a bit of heart to it here and there. It also helps that most of the songs are ones that are either super catchy or ones that I was already familiar with since I was forced to sing them in choir. Though he was not the best singer, Albert Finney manages to be both likable and unlikable as a character. Daddy Warbucks is where we see the little bit of heart this movie contains as he eventually comes around to the idea of having a girl orphan instead of a boy one, subsequently leading he and Annie to sing a couple of cute, great songs together. His role is really the only one we connected to throughout the movie. Carol Burnett is fantastic as the wretched orphanage runner Miss Hannigan and she really brought some true nastiness to her character. Tim Curry and Bernadette Peters play a pair of con artists and though they aren't on screen a heck of a lot of time, what they manage to bring to the table is a couple of much needed perilous yet funny scenes.

Many critics back in the day thought the choice to direct "Annie" was an odd one for John Huston, and now we can see why. Despite the heart it has going for it, there's just something about this movie that doesn't allow it to connect to us. All of the "heart" we mentioned above does seem rather baseline and expected. There's nothing that's overly unique about 'the feels' that this movie gives us. The movie as a whole is also marred by extremely slow pacing and there's really no way it needed to be over 2 hours long. On the same note, some of the musical numbers in the middle of the movie feel draggy and misplaced. While titular character Annie, played by Aileen Quinn, is a cute enough character, her singing, as well as the singing of the other orphan girls, isn't the best and feels sort of forced. There are also a ton of racist moments at Daddy Warbucks' mansion, mainly involving a character who is literally named Punjab. We're not overly sensitive people, but COME ON. He performs his 'magic levitation tricks' to an overtly stereotypical Indian instrumental song behind him! Their Asian limousine driver is also a martial arts master. All of these stereotypical moments distract from true point of the story and left us scratching our heads.

We're not sure that another remake of this movie is warranted, but damned if we're not looking forward to it based on the trailer they have been running since January!

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 50%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "Out of the Furnace"

Movie Review: "Gremlins" (1984)

Image Source

Movie: "Gremlins"
Director: Joe Dante
Year: 1984
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 46 minutes

Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) is an inventor who is on the road a lot trying to sell his wares. While in Chinatown, a young boy (John Louie) asks Randall to check out his grandfather's shop. Randall hopes to sell Mr. Wing (Keye Luke) on his invention, The Bathroom Buddy, and in the end, it is Randall winds up buying something for his son Billy (Zach Galligan) for Christmas. It is a small, furry animal called a Mogwai, which Randall offers $200 to purchase, though Mr. Wing won't sell it because it requires too much responsibility. Mr. Wing's grandson is willing too sell it and does, though he does tell him there are three rules of owning a Mogwai: 1. Keep him out of bright lights, especially sunlight, which is fatal to the creature; 2. Do not get it wet; and 3. Never feed it after midnight. Billy receives the Mogwai, now named Gizmo, from his dad. Billy and Gizmo become quick friends, but Mr. Wing may have been right about the responsibilities of owning a Mogwai as Billy accidentally breaks one rule after the other. Gizmo gets wet when Billy's friend Pete (Corey Feldman) spills water on it, causing Gizmo to multiply into five more Mogwai. Billy is then tricked by those Mogwai into feeding them after midnight, causing them to transform into little green monsters called Gremlins. The Gremlins are not like Gizmo, they are much more evil and go on to terrorize the town and run amok, so Billy must do his best to stop them. 

This is one of BigJ's favorite movies. He grew up watching it and he still loves it just as much as he did when he was a kid. I hadn't ever seen it until I was an adult, so some of its charm doesn't jive with me in 2014. That's just the way of the world. That being said, it's still a good movie, but if I had watched this as a kid, I probably would have been terrified of the Gremlins and their antics. The movie itself has both comedic and horror elements to it, though it takes place during Christmastime. Sometimes, it can even get downright scary and gruesome depending on who is watching. By today's standards, it would probably be rated PG-13.

Though not your typical holiday fare, "Gremlins" is most certainly a Christmas movie, loaded with singing carols, holiday background music, Christmas decorations all over town and snow all over the place. Gizmo is freaking adorable, with his big eye and big ears and cute, cuddly exterior, and is much different that his ugly, alienesque counterparts. Part of us wondered during the movie if Gizmo was created in the Jim Henson Creature Shop because he looked so well executed and had many Henson-esque qualities. Come to think of it, all of the gremlins look pretty fantastic, though animatronic, and even when they are burning or bubbling into a brown pool of nothingness, they look really great. It's nice that movies like this were made before the over-proliferation of CGI and that filmmakers actually had to take the time and invest the money in creating real, tangible creatures, not just copy paste them from a computer. A gremlin, to quote BigJ, "is what toddler would be like if it had claws and sharp teeth." The Gremlins don't care about hurting others and wreck everything in their path, but they do have a lot of fun, at least in their minds. Plus, they love cartoons, candy and cookies and video games. We're sorry to all our parent friends out there, but this is just the truth of the matter. The people in this movie only serve as vessels to further the story of how the Gremlins and Mogwai ended up in Kingston Falls, a pretty small town. The actors are all mostly interchangeable, but the story isn't really about them, it's about the creatures. The story itself is pretty basic, though Phoebe Cates' character could probably win a prize for the most screwed up Christmas story ever. Don't you just want to hug her? There are tons of huge plot holes within the rules of owning a Mogwai, but we can generally ignore those because this is just a fun but pretty bizarre ChristmaHorrorComedy. It has a lot of little background Easter eggs throughout the movie, and if you pay attention, some of them are really fun to spot.

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 85%
Do we recommend this movie:
~~~~~~~~~~
One year ago, we were watching: "Die Hard"