Monday, December 19, 2016

Movie Review: "Four Christmases" (2008)

Director: Seth Gordon
Year: 2008
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 28 minutes

A couple who typically spend each Christmas in a tropical paradise are forced to spend Christmas with their families when their plane is grounded due to bad weather.

Ahhhh...another year, another crappy Christmas comedy. "Four Christmases" is directed by Seth Gordon, who has gone on to direct films like "Horrible Bosses" and "Identity Thief." It stars Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon as Brad and Kate, a 30-something year old professional couple who like to spend their holidays every year having fun in a tropical paradise rather than with their pesky, annoying families. Because, you know, the holidays generally mean being selfish assholes! This Christmas, however, bad whether grounds their plane and forces them to spend the holiday with their families. Both Kate and Brad have divorced parents, which means four families, four houses, and four Christmas celebrations all in one day.

From there, the film devolves into a basic dysfunctional family comedy chock full of sibling rivalries, disapproving and/or embarrassing parents, and unruly children. Oh, and speaking of children, Brad and Kate start out the film staunchly against having kids. This being your standard Hollywood fare with no balls to speak of, we know this is going to change because as soon as Kate holds a baby, that biological clock of hers starts ticking! God forbid a woman hold a child and not want one of her very own! *~sO rEaLisTiC!*~ Now, despite the fact she and Brad are harassed, assaulted, puked on, and defied by numerous kids throughout the course of the day, somehow, they come out of the experience wanting to create their own little hell spawn to harass them, assault them, puke on them, etc. Just like real life! The notion that people instantly change their minds about having kids when they are in the presence of a child is absolutely mind-boggling and wholly unrealistic, even for Hollywood. As two people who don't plan on having their own children, no amount of kids is going to change our minds, even if they aren't puking and cursing at us while putting used pregnancy sticks in their mouths. And speaking of used pregnancy sticks in their mouths, this is an actual plot point in this movie oh god what have we done to deserve this????

"Four Christmases" is full of unlikable characters in over-the-top, completely unfunny situations that are devoid of humor, chemistry, and joy. There are maybe one or two laughs in the entire movie, and everything feels entirely phony, generic, and forced. All of this comes before the ridiculous tacked-on ending, which is totally unearned, inorganic, and just plain stupid...this series of words can actually be used to describe the entire picture itself. Avoid this one.

My Rating: 2.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 25%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
Last Christmas, we were watching: "One Magic Christmas"

Two Christmases ago, we were watching: "Jack Frost"

Three Christmases ago, we were watching: "Miracle on 34th Street"

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