Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Movie Review: "True Memoirs of an International Assassin" (2016)

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Movie"True Memoirs of an International Assassin"
Director: Jeff Wadlow
Year: 2016
Rating: TV-14
Running Time: 1 hour, 38 minutes

When a writer's fictional spy story is published in the non-fiction section, he is abducted by Venezuelan freedom fighters and is forced to take a mission to assassinate the president of Venezuela.

"True Memoirs of an International Assassin" is directed by Jeff Wadlow, who is known for directing the movies "Kick Ass 2" and "Never Back Down." The film is written by Jeff Morris, who is known for writing the god awful "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever." This is a Netflix original film starring Kevin James as aspiring novelist Sam Larson, who has just written his first book, a spy novel called "Memoirs of an International Assassin." When his publisher slaps the word "True" on the front of the title and publishes it in the non-fiction section, the book is mistaken for a biography. This causes a Venezuelan freedom fighter known as El Toro, played by Andy Garcia (who used to be somebody) to abduct Sam. Thinking he is an actual assassin known as 'The Ghost,' El Toro forces Sam to take an assignment to assassinate the corrupt Venezuelan president Miguel Cueto, played by Kim Coates. From there, the film plays out this mistaken identity scenario with Sam being the proverbial fish out of water.

There has been a series of spy comedies released over the past few years. The resurgence started around the time of "Spy" and "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." This formula also did decent enough in "Central Intelligence," but it has certainly crashed and burned with "True Memoirs of an International Assassin." Of course, what could we expect from the star of "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and the writer of the Grumpy Cat movie? Luckily, this isn't the worst movie Kevin James has ever made, but considering how low the bar has been set, this isn't really much of a compliment. This movie is a formulaic, highly predictable, mostly unfunny film. We gave an occasional spritz of laughter here and there, but these chuckles are few and far between and are usually the result of a supporting cast member, never James himself. Bumbling slapstick can only take you so far, KevBone.

We found "True Memoirs of an International Assassin" to be fairly dull and safe for an action comedy, especially considering Netflix ponied up the cash for this movie in the first place. In the end, we got what we expected, which wasn't much. We truly want to be surprised by Kevin James. We want him to make something that we can like and recommend to people to prove how truly unbiased we are, but we have not yet found that film, and this certainly isn't it. Come on, Kevin, surprise us! The best thing about this movie is that it's free to watch on Netflix, so you won't have to spend money on a ticket and it will only cost you the 98 minutes of your life you will never get back.

My Rating: 3.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 0%
Do we recommend this movie: No.

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