Movie Review: "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" (1995)

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Movie: "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers"
Director: Joe Chappelle
Year: 1995
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 27 minutes

Six years after surviving an attack by her uncle Michael Myers, Jamie Lloyd (J.C. Brandy) is about to give birth to her first child. This child is one a cult of demon worshipers wants to sacrifice for Myers. When Jamie escapes from the cult with her child, she hands it off to Haddonfield resident Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd), who her mother Laurie use to babysit, for safe keeping. This draws Myers back to Haddonfield to kill the Jamie's baby, just as the town was finally getting over the last string of attacks. 

Horror franchises usually finish early, or they eventually last long enough to become self-parodies. This is most certainly the case with "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" and exactly how it feels. "Halloween 5" ended with a mysterious man in black breaking Michael Myers out of prison. "Halloween 6" opens with Jamie Lloyd, now played by J.C. Brandy because the filmmakers weren't willing to pay Danielle Harris' exorbitant asking price of $5,000 dollars to reprise her role, giving birth to her first child, only not in a hospital, but while being held captive by this creepy Michael Myers-worshiping cult. They plan to sacrifice Jamie's child, but she is able to escape with her baby in her arms before they can. This, of course, sends Michael Myers after her and the baby, eventually back to Haddonfield. While on the run, Jamie runs into Tommy Doyle, played by Paul Rudd in his debut film role, and hands her child off to him since she was fatally injured while trying to escape the cult. Doyle was a young child who Jamie's mom Laurie Strode use to babysit back when Myers first attacked Haddonfield. It has been years since Myers has murdered anyone, and the small town of Haddonfield is finally getting over it. The town is getting ready to celebrate again, often joking about Myers by creating effigies outside the Strode family home. Of course, Michael Myers comes back again and goes on a murderous rampage in search of his final heir to finally put a nail in this lineage's coffin (har-har-har). So many of the characters in this film are over the top especially the patriarch of the Strode family John Strode played by Bradford English who is extremely belligerent and almost seems like a caricature. Also Paul Rudd is a bit of an oddball in this and it's almost as if he can't help but to come off sarcastic.

We have not been overly huge fans of the last couple of "Halloween" installments, but this one certainly takes the cake. It's pretty damn boring, and while there are the occasional cool scenes of murder as with all the other movies, overall, it offers less than anything new. There is also some talk about druid cults, Celtic ruins, and Stonehenge, which seems like an odd attempt to connect "Halloween 3" to this film universe, but since people unnecessarily dislike that film, it makes no sense as that film has often been on several "worst horror movies" lists for years. As much of a masterpiece that the original "Halloween" is and continues to be even now, this is a series that long overstayed its welcome, and "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" proves it.

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 6%
Do we recommend this movie: No.
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Two years ago, we were watching: "The Exorcist"

One year ago, we were watching: "Night of the Living Dead"

Movie Review: "Tourist Trap" (1979)

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Movie: "Tourist Trap"
Director: David Schmoeller
Year: 1979
Rating: PG
Running Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

A group of college age friends on a road trip find an old run-down tourist trap after one of their vehicles breaks down and after one of the members of their group who went for help goes missing. This tourist trap may be the very one their missing friend already visited, getting caught in its deadly snare.  

"Tourist Trap" is a PG-rated horror film from the 1970's and one we have wanted to watch for quite a while, but could never find on Netflix. Of course, PG didn't mean the same thing in the 70's as it does today. There is no nudity or profanity in this film, and in fact, this movie would probably receive a PG-13 stamp due today due to some violence, but that's about it. The director was actually shocked when the MPAA gave the film a PG rating and he believes it hurt the film's box office numbers, though just because a horror movie has a lower MPAA rating doesn't mean it's bad. Hell, "Poltergeist" is one of our all time favorite scary movies and it's rated PG! Despite the more family friendly stamp, "Tourist Trap" does manage to deliver some creepy moments here and there through its immense layer of cheesy 70's throwbacks. The opening scene in particular shows broken down motorist Woody, played by Keith McDermott, seeking out a replacement for his flat tire at a gas station. This scene is quite effective and very tense. It sets the mood for some of the things to come. He heads into the office of the gas station as objects start to move about on their own, showing that something more is going on than simply meets the eye. It's after Woody goes missing that the rest of his traveling companions go to search for him, coming across an old roadside tourist trap. There, they meet the owner of the road side attraction Mr. Slausen, played by Chuck Connors, who offers to help them out. While he goes to look at their car, he leaves them in his museum of animatronic mannequins, which is horrible enough on its own if you're creeped out by them in the first place. Of course, the teens can't stay put and begin to search the property, running into a crazy killer. The killer in this film has a similar look to that of Leatherface, but still manages to be a bit different due to its seemingly telekinetic powers. Slowly, the killer begins to pick off the young adults one by one as they run for their lives and try to seek help any way they can.

As we mentioned, as a PG movie, this isn't all that bloody or graphic, and only a couple of scenes any sort of blood or violence at all. Just because this is the case doesn't mean it isn't effective, because it is, but it takes a while to get to these moments. The filler consists of us sitting in our living room yelling at the television at the teens for being stupid and careless enough to go snooping around A MANNEQUIN MUSEUM. C'mon, gang!! Horror 101!! The dialogue is obviously very dated, as are the style of dress, demeanor, and overall premise for the film, but this doesn't keep "Tourist Trap"from being a moderately entertaining film, even if it is a little predictable.

My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: ---
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Martin"

One year ago, we were watching: "Hatchet for the Honeymoon"

Movie Review: "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" (2005)

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Movie: "The Exorcism of Emily Rose"
Director: Scott Derrickson
Year: 2005
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 59 minutes

A priest named Father Moore (Tom Wilkinson) is put on trial for criminal negligence when a girl named Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), who he believed to be demon possessed, dies while under his care. 

"Based on a true story" is favorite phrase of horror film directors as we saw earlier this Halloween marathon with "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre." Typically it is only in the loosest sense of the phrase, and this is, of course, the case with "The Exorcism of Emily Rose." It is based on a court case that took place in Germany in the 1970's where a pair of priests were put on trial for manslaughter and criminal negligence when a young woman named Anneliese Michel died in their care. If you are interested in the audio of her actual exorcism tapes, they are available on YouTube and are quite scary. Hell, maybe you should play them at your next Halloween party as mood music. This is the first of three films to be based on this case, but is the only one to be theatrically released in the US, and by far has the highest production values. "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" is more of a legal drama than a true horror as the vast majority of this movie takes place in the courtroom. The horrorific moments come from flashbacks that display what is being testified. It often goes from showing Emily's supernatural possession to briefly showing the more scientific explanations brought up in court. Of course, the visuals of these demon possession scenes are very cool and often unnerving as Emily's body twists and contorts into odd positions with weird stretching noises as she babbles in different languages and screams at the top of her/its lungs. Though these visuals are great and eerie to look at, they aren't really anything we haven't seen in other possession films. Emily Rose is played by Jennifer Carpenter and she does a good job screaming a gnashing about while being possessed. Unfortunately, after these cool possession scenes, we are ripped back into an almost dull drudgery of an overly dramatic and unrealistic court room drama. Though we like most of the actors in this movie, they can't really save its pacing issues as these court sequences drag the film to a crawl. Laura Linney plays Agnostic defense attorney Erin Bruner, who must convince the jury that Father Moore, played by Tom Wilkinson, acted properly by choosing a religious treatment over a scientifically-based medical treatment. Conversely, religiously devout prosecuting attorney Ethan Thomas, played by Campbell Scott, must convince the jury that Father Moore was negligent in leaving Emily's well being in the hands of God by encouraging her to stop taking her doctor-prescribed medication. Despite its best efforts to scare the hell out of us, and though these possession scenes are a lot better than we remember them being, there is still a lot of cliché grandstanding where a lawyer will ask a question that is followed by an objection and an immediate response of 'no further questions.' Like we said, these scenes seem to slow the pace down tremendously and don't add to the overall enjoyment of the movie, though a couple of portions of the court case involving tape recorded playbacks of Emily's possession do make for some entertaining moments. Overall, though not a bad movie, there isn't quite enough demon possession craziness to counteract the dull courtroom antics, and we found ourselves wanting a little bit more out of "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 45%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Black Sunday"

One year ago, we were watching: "Feast"

Movie Review: "Hostel" (2005)

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Movie: "Hostel"
Director: Eli Roth
Year: 2005
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 34 minutes

Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) are two American friends who have been backpacking across Europe with and Icelandic guy named Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson), who they met on their trip. They receive a tip from a random guy that there is a hostel in a small Slovakian town that has beautiful women that are easy to bed. Their sexual fantasies come true when they meet a pair of pretty girls at the hostel there, but when their friend Oli and others begin disappear without warning, their wonderful fantasy starts to quickly become their worst nightmare. 

"Hostel" is the second feature-length film from writer and director Eli Roth, who has been known as a "horror master" in some circles, though we just assumed he started this namesake. It is also his most well known and financially successful directoral effort. After seeing this film or any of his other movies, besides needing barf buckets nearby, you have to wonder, what the hell is going on in the head of Eli Roth that he can write these vivid, depraved pieces? There are two major themes in "Hostel," which are sex and violence. The first half of the movie focuses in on the sex aspect. Nearly every conversation that takes place in the first portion of the film between any of the characters revolves around sex, from getting it to having it to thinking about it to buying it. The whole reason Paxton, played by Jay Hernandez, and Josh, played by Dereck Richardson, headed to the little Slovak town they were alerted to by a stranger is for the promise of sexual exploits with hot, sexy women. Of course, "Hostel" takes a dark turn as sex leads to eventual violence, and when we say violence, we mean very graphic, very disturbing violence, the kind that not everyone can handle. As it turns out, these attractive women run a scam where they seduce men, drug them, and sell them to wealthy business men from around the world to be tortured and killed in sometimes weird, sometimes bizarre manners.

"Hostel" is successful at playing on our worst xenophobic fears. Instead of being adventurous travelers, this movie has the ability to make us ready to lock ourselves in our safe little houses far away from unfamiliar situations and people that will surely lead to our demise. We wouldn't want to fall asleep at a hostel and wake up strapped to a chair and have some bored millionaire cut through our Achilles tendons with a scalpel and then dare us to run away. Just thinking of this scene gives us violent shivers and makes us a little queasy, though when it comes to horror that's a good thing. This movie has a lot of scenes and parts that will straight up disgust and totally unnerve you, and in this aspect, it works at getting audiences invested. Some of the violence in these scenes are a little too tough for easily queasy viewers, though this is to be expected with all of Roth's films. "Hostel" is completely reliant on these torture scenes in the latter portion of the movie which, as we mentioned, are very effective. Sure, the acting is bad and the story isn't exactly intriguing or thought-provoking (even though Roth has a penchant for trying to be so), but it is a movie horror fans can enjoy watching so long as they can stomach the visuals.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 61%
Do we recommend this movie: ---
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Two years ago, we were watching: "A Nightmare on Elm Street"

One year ago, we were watching: "Saw II"

Movie Review: "Ju-On: The Grudge" (2002)

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Movie: "Ju-On: The Grudge"
Director: Takashi Shimizu
Year: 2002
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

A deadly curse is passed from person to person stemming from a single violent act in a house, making whoever enters it a mark for certain doom. 

"Ju-On: The Grudge" is a Japanese horror movie about a curse that gets started when someone is killed in a fit of rage. The story in this film is told through a series of non-sequential vignettes. Each of these little shorts are connected by characters or locations that intertwine between the stories. Each segment begins with the character's name, the first part being about a social worker named Rika, played by Megumi Okina, who is instructed by her work to go to a home to take care of an elderly woman. While cleaning, she sees a cat, which leads her to a boy locked in a closet, which is actually the ghost of the boy who was killed there. Shortly after this, Rika encounters another spirit, this time a female who inflicts the Ju-On upon her. The rest of the segments continue on in a similar manner as we mentioned above, out of chronological order, though often they overlap between characters and places visited.

This isn't a film with strong dialogue by any means. When push comes to shove, the plot isn't even that great or strong, either. Almost all of the mood and intrigue from "Ju-On" comes from imagery set up through these interconnected stories. It is all about the creepy visuals of little ghost children, loud noises, and ghastly faces with sullen eyes. Each of the ghosts has a pale white or grayish appearance, a style of ghost that has continued to be used by other filmmakers since this film came out. In fact, the Japanese version of "The Grudge" even inspired a straight remake from America, as well as countless other films that use similar plot points and imagery, too. The filmmakers here do succeed in creating some eerie ghost story moments with some decent jump scares, but overall, we were left wanting a little more from this movie, especially since the hype surrounding it was and has since been very high. To us, it doesn't live up to the hype and isn't as effective as other recent notable horrors like "The Babadook" and "It Follows."

My Rating: 6.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 64%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Twixt"

One year ago, we were watching: "The Cabin in the Woods"

Movie Review: "The Shining" (1980)

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Movie: "The Shining"
Director: Stanley Kubrick
Year: 1980
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 26 minutes

Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) is hired as The Overlook hotel's winter caretaker.  He hopes this job will allow him to work on writing his novel. He must live in the hotel with his wife Wendy (Shelley Duval) and his son Danny (Danny Lloyd) completely isolated from October to May. As the weeks go by, the isolation and the hotel's torrid past begin to drive Jack insane.  

This is our third and final review for a film based on a Stephen King novel this Halloween season (not planned, it just happened this way!). Though Stephen King wasn't fond of Stanley Kubrick's take on "The Shining," we personally love it. We can't see it being made any differently with anyone else and being as successful as what wound up on screen in this 1980 version. This film takes place in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado at the very isolated Overlook Hotel. Like we have mentioned in a few other reviews, horror films love the idea of using isolated locations as settings. This isolation is particularly important to a film like "The Shining" where mood is so crucial and vital. Being cut off from the rest of the world is a major factor in Jack's descent into madness. This film is visually stunning and masterfully directed, even though we haven't always been fans of Kubrick's works. The imagery that runs throughout the story, coupled with its simplistic yet terrorizing story, is nothing short of brilliant. It creates a tense and unnerving overall mood and one we think the movies of today should strive to achieve.

Now, as great as these visuals are, "The Shining" wouldn't be half as good as it is without the performances of Jack Nicholson, who plays Jack Torrance, and Shelley Duvall who plays Jack's wife Wendy. It is these two performances that really make this movie despite what anyone else may have you believe. Nicholson's face is perfect and ideal for a man who spirals into a murderous psychosis after months of isolation and just the right dose of disaster from his personal life. A lot of it has to do with his eyebrows that naturally come to a devilish point. When he moves his face in certain directions, it really sell his sinister thoughts and inner mental state. Jack Nicholson also has the ability to go from calm, cool, and charming to an intense ball of rage at the drop of a hat. He really shows why he is one of the finest actors of his generation in this film. Of course, Jack needs a good actress to compliment his acting, and Shelley Duvall offers just that. We really don't think she receives her proper due for the excellent performance she delivers in this film. Wendy is calm and demure and she definitely has some uneasy feelings about her husband. She's willing to do whatever she needs to in order to protect her son Danny from her husband. Once Jack's murderous desire start to come out, Duvall sells Wendy's frantic fear extremely well, and you can also see her inner conflict of needing to protect herself versus her apprehension for hurting her husband on her face. The scenes where she is running in the show, or scream bloody murder, or dragging Jack's body across the floor, you can tell the physicality of a role like this from a mile away for both Duvall and Nicholson, who does his fair share of running through mazes and chopping down doors.

Over the years, this film has become iconic and is recognized as one of the greatest horror films of all time. We definitely agree and don't honestly see why or how anyone can hate it. Sure, it might be a little long and is definitely an investment time-wise, but the stellar acting, brilliant dialogue, near perfect directing, amazing soundtrack, and flawless imagery make "The Shining" legendary.

My Rating: 9.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 91%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight"

One year ago, we were watching: "Blood Feast"

Movie Review: "Pet Sematary" (1989)

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Movie: "Pet Sematary"
Director: Mary Lambert
Year: 1989
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 43 minutes

Dr. Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) moves into a new town with his wife Rachel (Denise Crosby) and his two kids Ellie (Blaze & Beau Berdahl) and Gage (Miko Hughes). Their new home is located off a rural highway that is a thoroughfare for big rig trucks, which tend to speed down the road. A slight walk from their house is a "Pet Sematary," and just beyond is an Indian burial ground that has the power to return the dead to life. After a tragedy strikes the Creed family and Louis learns of the burial ground's powers, his attempt to save a loved one may bring dire consequences.

Master of the horror novel Stephen King penned both screenplay for this film and the novel on which it's based. The northeastern United States is a favorite setting for Stephen King horrors, and "Pet Sematary" is no different as it's both shot and takes place in a rural town in Maine. Small rural towns are a heavily used setting in horror films as the feeling of isolation adds to the scare factor of the film. "Pet Sematary" eases into its horror aspect as it builds up slowly to its climactic moments. It spends the majority of the film setting a certain mood and introducing the audience to the settings and the characters, like Dr. Louis Creed, played by Dale Midkiff, his wife Rachel, played by Denise Crosby, and their kids Gage, played by Miko Hughes, and Ellie, who is played by twins Blaze and Beau Berdahl. The Creed family neighbor also gets introduced early on: Jud, played by Fred Gwynne, who most will know as Herman Munster from "The Munsters," plays a pivotal role when it comes to the Pet Sematary itself,. Aside from the graphic aftermath of a car accident early on, there isn't a whole lot of gore until the very final scene, not that this means the film is devoid of horror elements, because it does have them as the ghost of this car accident victim plays an important role and looks rather ghastly. There is also talk about Rachel's insane sister, who suffers from spinal meningitis and has a quite unsettling appearance that haunts her nightmares. Oh, and of course, there is the cat that died and came back to life. Super creepy. ***SPOILER ALERT*** The movie doesn't really go into full gear until one of the Creed family kids gets killed, when said individual is hit by a truck, stricken with grief Louis does the unthinkable and buries them in the Indian burial ground, which can bring the dead back to life. Kids are creepy enough, but an undead kid in a dapper little top hat carrying a scalpel as he giggles maniacally is straight up, downright terrifying. This final sequence with Gage has an excellent, unsettling mood and tension, plus, it's quite creepy. ***END SPOILER ALERT***

All this being said, the movie does have its flaws. It's not overly long, and yet feels like it is poorly paced due to the decision to focus on setting and character building for a long portion of the film. Some of the acting seems cheesy looking back on it, but overall, "Pet Sematary is a decent Halloween watch as it finishes strong, has a lot of good imagery, and banks on the expert writing of Stephen King to be effective enough.

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 43%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "MST3K: Manos: Hands of Fate"

One year ago, we were watching: "White Zombie"

Movie Review: "Frankenstein" (1931)

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Movie: "Frankenstein"
Director: James Whale
Year: 1931
Rating: UR
Running Time: 1 hour, 10 minutes

Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) has discovered a way to reanimate dead tissue. He has constructed a body from the corpses he and his assistant Fritz (Dwight Frye) have dug up from a graveyard. When the brain he puts in his monster (Boris Karloff) turns out to be abnormal, it makes his creation unstable and prone to violence. 

It's really fun to go back and watch the old Universal monster movies, especially since I grew up in a household where they were staple of our fun Halloween spirit. "Frankenstein" is based on Mary Shelley's novel of the same name. When we say 'based on,' we mean loosely based on the novel, almost more inspired by. There were many changes made from the book to movie, including the name of the Frankenstein himself mainly done to appeal to 1930's American audiences. In this version Colin Clive plays Henry Frankenstein, a doctor who has made a groundbreaking discovery. He has uncovered how to bring life back to the dead, a task he has become obsessed with over the years almost to the point of madness. Clive portrays this part in a manner where we believe he has actually been driven crazy with obsession and sells his part fully. It isn't until after he brings his creation to life that he discovers his assistant Fritz, played by Dwight Frye, accidentally gave Frankenstein an abnormal brain to put in the creature, played by Boris Karloff. Though Colin Clive has a rather memorable performance and delivers some very memorable and iconic lines, it's the Monster himself that is the one think people remember the most, which his lurching figure, his wobbling stance, and his menacing scowl.

The makeup work of Jack P. Pierce is nothing short of amazing and incredible. His design for Frankenstein's monster has become iconic over the decades and is a look that has become synonymous with the character. It's really every bit as good as any makeup job you may see even today and has held up well even 84 years later. Boris Karloff does an outstanding job in bringing this large, menacing, but also greatly sympathetic and misunderstood monster to life in a performance for the ages. The monster is unnerving when he's angry as we never quite know his next move and whether he will be frightful or fearful. We as the audience feel compassion for the monster when he meets his eventual fate. The setting, sounds, and sights of "Frankenstein," when combined with some stellar direction by James Whale and the aforementioned excellent, unforgettable performances by Karloff and the like, make this a truly wonderful classic film we urge everyone to watch.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 100%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Saw"

One year ago, we were watching: "Dead Silence"

Movie Review: "The Devil's Rejects" (2005)

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Movie: "The Devil's Rejects"
Director: Rob Zombie
Year: 2005
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes

The murderous Firefly family goes on the run with an accompanying killing spree when they are forced from their home by a police raid. Leading the manhunt is Sherriff John Quincy Wydell (William Forsythe), who will go to great lengths and stop at nothing to avenge the murder of his brother by the Firefly family. 

"The Devil's Rejects" is the sequel to Rob Zombie's directorial debut "House of 1000 Corpses." It was that debut film where Zombie introduced the maniacal Firefly family to the world. In the first film, we saw this family torture and kill a group of college kids, and this sequel picks up a short time later. It actually has a vastly different tone than that of the original, which seemed to draw inspiration from films like the original "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre." This go around is more like a 70's grindhouse version of "Natural Born Killers" minus all of the pesky social commentary. Much of the same cast reprises their roles from the first film: Bill Mosely plays the sadistic Otis, Sherry Moon Zombie, who probably wouldn't get much work if she wasn't married to Rob Zombie, returns as the twisted Baby, Matthew McGrory comes back as the deformed giant Tiny, Leslie Easterbrook replaces Karen Black as the Mama Firefly, and Sid Haig returns as gas station tourist trap clown Captain Spalding, who turns out to be the sinister patriarch of the Firefly family. Missing from the film is "House of 1000 Corpses" killer of legend Dr. Satin, whose scenes in this film wound up on the cutting room floor. After a brutal, frantic, and violent police raid at the Firefly farm, Mama Firefly is taken into custody and Otis, Baby, and Captain Spalding go out on lam. Hunting this family is Sheriff Wydell, played by William Forsythe, who wants vengeance for his brother, someone the Firefly family murdered in the previous film. Sheriff Wydell is willing to do whatever it takes to put them behind bars and isn't the most morally upstanding character himself. He is willing to take the law into his own hands, even if it means torturing and even killing to get his revenge. He even seems to enjoy and get pleasure from dishing out this violent punishment, which really doesn't make him much different than those he's hunting, but we digress. The missing moral compass from all of these characters makes it horrific knowing there are people out there in the world who could really do the things shown on screen, and isn't that just as impactful as any other ghost or goblin tale?

Unlike a lot of sequels, this one we actually enjoyed. The acting isn't all that great, especially the acting of director Rob Zombie's betrothed and hellish bride Sherry Moon Zombie, which, let's face it, is downright awful. Some of the acting lends to some cheesy delivery, but the film is effective none the less. The grainy grindhouse feel sets a great mood and its very graphic nature provides for a really gruesome film. Its violence and gore make this less of horror in the traditional sense. It is a solid sophomore effort by Rob Zombie before he sunk his teeth into remaking "Halloween."

My Rating: 7/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 53%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Jack Brooks Monster Slayer"

One year ago, we were watching: "The Monster Squad"

Movie Review: "Zombie Lake" (1981)

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Movie: "Zombie Lake"
Director: Jean Rollin
Year: 1981
Rating: NR
Running Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

A group of Nazi soldiers that were gunned down and buried in a lake rise from their graves as zombies and wreak havoc on a small French countryside town. 

"Zombie Lake" is a low budget French horror film...well, at least the movie claims it's a horror. In reality, it's more like softcore skin flick with a few brief moments of dialogue and tons of badly made up zombies who just happen to be wearing Nazi uniforms. The film opens with a young woman walking up to the lake, stripping fully nude and sunbathing while the credits roll. Some time later, she then decides to swim in the lake, though there is a giant no swimming sign right where she stands complete with a skull and crossbones. Always a good idea! After quite a few minutes of her frolicking around naked in the water, a zombie with clearly pruny fingers attacks her and drags her below the water to her demise. This is kind of a reoccurring theme throughout this movie where women in various states of undress get attacked by these zombies over and over again with no real substance to it other than the fact that they were once just recently naked. The makeup in this film is rather atrocious and looks like what a 3rd grade trick-or-treater with free, full access to his mother's makeup drawer would wear on Halloween. The zombies are basically done up in green face and body paint with a couple of over-the-counter CVS brand scars and really fake looking blood. The movie is incredibly, painfully slow paced and it feels unbelievably long despite it being only about 90 minutes. By far, though, the worst part about this movie is its audio. It's not even fun or funny in an ironic way. Add this to some bizarre lighting choices where the same scene will go from bright lighted to dimly lit at the drop of a hat. There is one scene in particular where it appears a light blew out on set and the filmmakers just kept rolling because they couldn't afford to do another take. All of this is only matched by its horrible dialogue, which clearly had to be looped in post production since it doesn't match up with the mouths of the actors. The volume changes drastically from one scene to next, going from whisper quiet to painfully loud. The story is ridiculous and nonsensical even for a zombie flick. Just about the only part this movie is some unintentional laughs at how incredibly bad everything about this movie is, and even those are few and far between. There are a small percentage of people who will be able to sit through this only to laugh at its absurdity, but 99% of the people who see this probably won't make it more than 15 minutes into its run time before they turn it off and decide they have wasted enough of their life on it. Us, however, we enjoy torturing ourselves with shit-fests like "Zombie Lake," and it is more certainly one of the worst films we've seen from a technical and practical standpoint.

My Rating: 2/10
BigJ's Rating: 2/10
IMDB's Rating: 2.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Poltergeist"

One year ago, we were watching: "Maniac"

Movie Review: "The Town That Dreaded Sundown" (2014)

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Movie: "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"
Director: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Year: 2014
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 26 minutes

65 years after The Phantom serial killer terrorized the town of Texarkana, a new phantom has emerged to pick up where the previous killer left off.

The original "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" came out in 1976 and was a true crime style film based of a string of murders that actually happened in Texarakana in 1946. The original version had an almost documentary style feel to it, making it a bit tedious to watch at times. This 2014 semi-sequel exists in a world where its characters have knowledge of the 1946 true life murders and 1976's subsequent film about the murders, making it an extremely self-aware slasher flick. The movie takes place on Halloween night at a drive-in that is screening the original "The Town That Dreaded Sundown" movie as part of the town's yearly tradition. Jami, played by Addison Timlin, gets uncomfortable watching the film, so she asks her boyfriend Corey, played by Spencer Treat Clark, if they can leave. Instead of going straight home, they drive off to what use to be called "lovers lane," the town's make-out spot. It is there where they are attacked by a hooded man that looks like the notorious killer from the 1976 film. This copycat brutally stabs Corey and starts to chase and hunt for Jami through the forest, only when he catches her, he does not kill her. Instead of brutally murdering her, he just gives her a cryptic message about 'making the town remember.' The police and the Texas rangers start looking for this copycat killer while Jami tries to unravel the mystery of what message she is supposed to tell people at the same time.

Unlike the original movie, this version is entirely fictional and is shot in a much more traditional style. It is really just your basic slasher flick, but it is still a pretty effective one. There are some really gruesome killing scenes, one in particular involves a woman receiving a compound fracture in her leg while attempting to jump out of a window while fleeing from the killer. It looks amazingly realistic and garnered an audible reaction from the both of us and promoted one out of two of us to hide their head under the blankets (I don't want to point fingers or name any names, but let's just say their name rhymes with "SchmoLo"). Broken bones, man, broken bones. The film has a lot going for it early on with these gross slayings and some pretty tense moments. This tension builds as fears rise with each passing scene, and as the killer gets closer to each of its victims, this tension leads to a lot of great and gory special effects work. Unfortunately, the movie loses quite a bit of steam in the last 1/3 of the movie. Even though the death scenes maintain a great level of interest and continue to deliver throughout the film, the story itself, especially and primarily the ending, leave a lot lot lot to be desired. In fact, we really disliked the ending, which actually made us give it a lower rating than we might have if it had been different. For what it's worth, we can say we were thoroughly entertained by everything leading up to that point, so we can overlook this minor infraction a little bit. Still, we can't help but wonder what could have been if the ending had been executed better.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 69%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "A Bay of Blood"

One year ago, we were watching: "Demons"

Movie Review: "Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers" (1988)

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Movie: "Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers"
Director: Michael A. Simpson
Year: 1988
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes

The campers at Camp Rolling Hills are looking forward to a summer of fun. When some of the female campers are having fun in a less than moral way, the new camp counselor Angela (Pamela Springsteen) is ready to dish out some punishment, but instead of sending the campers home, she is sending them to their graves.

Many years have passed since Angela Baker went on a killing spree at Camp Arawak and her exploits have become a thing of legend to be told around a campfire. Since then, she was institutionalized, she underwent psychiatric therapy, and has also gone through a sexual reassignment surgery. She has now changed her last name and has taken a job as a counselor at Camp Rolling Hills. Unlike the first "Sleepaway Camp," which is a straight low budget B-horror film, "Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers" is a B-horror comedy. Pamela Springsteen plays Angela, and if you were thinking, "Hey, I recognize that last name!," yes, we mean that Springsteen as she is Bruce Springsteen's sister. Angela seems sweet enough even though she is a little bit of a by-the-book goodie two shoes, but we learn within the first few minutes that she has a harsh way of dealing with the campers who break her rules. When we say harsh, we mean it, since she beats one of the female campers to death with a tree branch within the first few minutes of the film. The first movie in the series was a whodunit with a shocking twist ending, and this sequel is your average, straight forward 80's slasher film, but that doesn't mean it's boring. Here, we get a good variety in the way Angela murders people, and they are always done in a fun, ridiculous, and gory way. The body count is also really high, so even the blood-thirstiest fans of horror films will be satiated if they can stick around long enough to get past the pretty flimsy plot.

Overall, though this is a pretty familiar 80's horror complete with gratuitous nudity and a virgin survivor girl named Molly, played by Renée Estevez, it's still satisfying enough to watch in the spirit of Halloween. Oh, and if you were wondering, yes, she is Charlie Sheen and Emelio Estevez's sister. Despite how cliché this movie is, it is still a good time, albeit a sillier movie than the first installment. For what it's worth, it's still a fun horror watch.

My Rating: 6/10
BigJ's Rating: 6/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 29%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Final Destination"

One year ago, we were watching: "I Drink Your Blood"

Movie Review: "The Brood" (1979)

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Movie: "The Brood"
Director: David Cronenberg
Year: 1979
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

Nola (Samantha Eggar) is institutionalized and undergoing a radical new psychological therapy under the guidance of Dr. Hal Raglan (Oliver Reed). But when Nola's husband Frank (Art Hindle) finds scratches and bite marks on his daughter after she visited her mom, he starts to investigate Dr. Raglan and his methods. As Frank investigates, members of Nola's family start to get murdered one by one by strange little creatures, adding to the mystery Frank must unravel.  

"The Brood" is a film that combines a psychological mystery with a creature feature. It is the type of film which David Cronenberg is a master. He is known for movies like "The Fly," "Scanners," "Videodrome," and "Shivers," which we reviewed earlier this Halloween season, among many others. This movie centers around Nola, played by Samantha Eggar, and her family. She has been institutionalized at a psychiatric hospital run by Dr. Hal Raglan, played by the mysterious and ominous Oliver Reed, who uses what seems like hypnotherapy to allow his patients to release repressed emotions. Dr. Raglan acts as if whatever has troubled his patients to get them to their emotional breaking point has been a parent or another relative, so he cuts them off from their families in order to achieve successful treatment. The patients are able to unload their problems and gain some kind of understanding as to their repressed feelings. Nola is have marriage problems for obvious reasons as she is going through a separation with her husband Frank, played by Art Hindle. Frank brings their daughter Candice, played by Cindy Hinds, to visit Nola, but when she comes home with bruises and bite marks, Frank is not happy and turns his anger towards Nola's doctor. Frank starts to investigate Dr. Raglan, but a larger mystery starts to unravel when Nola's family members begin to be murdered by what appear to be little child-like creatures with fangs and evil faces. Frank is almost sure this has to do with Raglan's therapy in some way and is determined to find out how the two are connected.

This movie manages to be extremely creepy and has some really good make-up work applied throughout it. The little creatures look like children, only slightly more animalistic, savage in their teeth and angry in their faces. The movie starts almost like a drama but slowly over times becomes more bizarre as it moves along in its run time, ending in the ultimate kind of "what the hell!?" moment. We were really taken aback by the ending, but expected no less from David Cronenberg as he is known for his weird imagery and different directorial style. All of the acting here is solid and we really believe each character in their respective roles. The story is intriguing, and though there is a lot of slow-burning investigation and mystery, the slower, longer, more drawn out points are worth it in the end as the payoff is freaky and unique. "The Brood" is definitely worth watching at least once!

My Rating: 7.5/10
BigJ's Rating: 7/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 81%
Do we recommend this movie: Sure, why not?
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Evil Dead 2"

One year ago, we were watching: "Fido"

Movie Review: "Aliens" (1986)

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Movie: "Aliens"
Director: James Cameron
Year: 1986
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 17 minutes

After killing the Alien and escaping the Nostromo, Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) has unknowingly spent the last 57 years in hypersleep. She is discovered by a salvage crew and is brought to a space station orbiting Earth. It is there Ripley tells them of her ordeal aboard the Nostromo and what the crew discovered on LV-246. She is then informed that the company has had terraformers living on LV-246 for the last 30 years with no mention of any alien life, though recently they have lost contact with the colonists and are sending a marine crew in to investigate. They want Ripley to join them as a consultant, and upon arriving on the planet, their worst fears are realized, but even far worse than they could have ever imagined.  

James Cameron takes over the directing job for this sequel to the 1979 classic "Alien." This film works on the simple idea that if one Alien is scary on its own, 100 or more Aliens would be downright terrifying. In many ways, this is true, but it definitely takes a different approach to the situation. Where "Alien" was subdued and suspenseful, "Aliens" is far more action-packed, but still slightly scary like its predecessor. This time around, it is not just a salvage crew versus one stealthy, killer Alien, but rather a military team dealing with a whole swarm of Aliens. Being a military team, they are able to kill plenty of the Aliens, which have been given the name Xenomorphs. Unfortunately for the crew, they are grossly outnumbered, and despite the fact they are well trained for combat, they still find themselves dropping like flies. Just because this film adds more action doesn't mean it totally abandons tension and mood from the first film. Cameron, an expert director by all accounts, manages to offer some great eerie setting as the Aliens started to colonize parts of the planet and make it into a hive of sorts. There is still plenty of tension as the Xenomorphs are still able to remain relatively unseen and often come right out of the background like the slimy, horrifying ninjas they are.

Of course, Sigourney Weaver reprises her iconic role as Ripley, and she is just as fierce as ever. Since she was the soul survivor the first time around, the rest of the crew has been fleshed out with new actors. Some notable cast members who play marines are Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, and Mark Rolston. Lance Henricksen plays the android on board named Bishop, and Paul Reiser plays the average corporate scumbag named Carter Burke. They all contribute in making this a memorable sequel and one that lived up to the extremely high bar set by its predecessor. This film, of course, was made during a time when sequels actually mattered, had good stories to tell when compared to their predecessors, and were not seen as simply "gimme" movies simply prattled off by studios in an effort to gain profits, though the franchise certainly came to this point later in its history. A lot of the credit for its success has to go to James Cameron, who has a knack for making really excellent, exciting, fun movies. In his seven major Hollywood releases, he has not had one bad movie in the bunch. It seems the only way Cameron's name could get attached to a bad film is if the producer went on a power trip, took over shooting a movie and locked James Cameron out of the editing room, giving him no control over the final product...*cough* "Piranha 2" *cough*.

Fortunately, "Aliens" is just as amazing as its predecessor and is also a must-see for horror fans, sci-fi aficionados, film buffs, and Sigourney Weaver lovers.

My Rating: 9/10
BigJ's Rating: 9/10
IMDB's Rating: 8.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 98%
Do we recommend this movie: ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Return of the Living Dead"

One year ago, we were watching: "Frailty"

Movie Review: "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers" (1989)

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Movie: "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers"
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Year: 1989
Rating: X
Running Time: 1 hour, 36 minutes

Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris) has been hospitalized in a psychiatric ward since she murdered her foster mother the year prior. She has nightmares since she has a type of psychic connection to her murderous uncle Michael Myers (Don Shanks). Now, as Halloween closes, Michael is returning to Haddonfield in search of his niece to finish the job he failed to complete the year before and he'll kill anyone who gets in his way to do it.

As per usual, Michael Myers returns to Haddonfield to go on yet another killing spree in an effort to get to his last living relative, Jamie Lloyd, played again by Danielle Harris, in order to finish what he started. As audience members, by this point, we've gotten pretty tired of seeing the same old, rehashed killing spree thing when it comes to Michael Myers, and yet once again, we get a lot of the same in this, the fifth installment of the "Halloween" series. Michael Myers comes into town and starts killing those people closest to Jamie, and really, he'll kill anyone who is simply in his path to his ultimate goal. Of course, Myers finds somewhat new ways to do so, often in very graphic manners with a variety of weapons usually of the stabbing and poking variety. After sitting through the fourth and fifth installments of this franchise, we wish the filmmakers would have stuck with the idea of the very underrated "Halloween 3" idea and just had a new Halloween-themed horror story each year instead of regurgitating Michael Myers over and over. We get it, he's a cool, superbeing of a bad guy, but if only Myers fans wouldn't have cried so much when he wasn't in the 3rd film, we could have actually had some original stories, some fresh outlooks, and Myers could have even made appearances in the films, just not be the main baddie. Now, in the spirit of Hollywood mediocrity, all we get is a slasher flick every time one of these movies gets released. They did try to add another mysterious antagonist known as the Man in Black in this installment, though we preferred to call him jingle boots while we watched, you know, because he's got them spurs that jingle jangle jingle. This character basically just walks around eventually reveals his contrived purpose after the climax of the film. It would appear as if it was intended for his character to be a setup for use in a sequel that wouldn't come until many, many years later, probably because of the lack of interest as this is the lowest grossing "Halloween" film in the history of the franchise. In the end, though there are still some good, bloody death scenes and a little bit of tension built throughout its run time with its continued use of Michael Myers as the villain, "Halloween 5" offers nothing new, nothing terribly exciting, and nothing we haven't already seen before. Unless you're a die hard fan of the franchise and want to watch every movie in it, skip this one.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 14%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Burnt Offerings"

One year ago, we were watching: "Chillerama"

Movie Review: "Hellraiser" (1987)

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Movie: "Hellraiser"
Director: Clive Barker
Year: 1987
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 34 minutes

A rather despicable man named Frank (Sean Chapman) comes into the possession of a puzzle box that is said to open a world of unimaginable sensory stimulation. Frank gets more than he bargained for when he solves it, allowing a group of demons known as Cenobites to drag him into their world of torture. When Frank's brother Larry (Andrew Robinson) moves into their family home with his wife Julia (Claire Higgins), who had a secret affair with Frank, he cuts his hand on a lose nail. His blood dripping on the floor allows Frank to escape from the Cenobites. Now, Frank needs more blood to fully restore his body and he convinces his former lover Julia to bring him victims so they can be together again...as long as the Cenobites don't discover he's missing.

Clive Barker is a pretty well known name to horror fans despite the fact he has only directed three feature length films in his entire career up to this point. Most of his notoriety came with the film "Hellraiser," which was his feature length debut. This movie is a true mastery of character design, gore, and makeup work, and the effort put into these elements is what has made this film so memorable. Even though the story's primary focus is on the character of Frank, played by Sean Chapman, and him manipulating Julia, played by Claire Higgins, into murdering people so he can drink their blood and return from the dead, it is his tormentors, the Cenobites, with their twisted S&M leather-clad look, especially their leader, the now iconic Pinhead, played by Doug Bradley, that really made a lasting impression on the audience and an impact in the world of horror movies. The look of these demons is just so creepy and menacing. They really are horrific, but they aren't the only ones. Frank himself in his incomplete, Zombiesque form is truly disgusting to look at as a viewer. His initial appearance is only slightly more than a skeleton with a little bit of meat on his bones, and as Frank regenerates more the more blood he drinks, he turns into his almost final look as fully sized man, just sans his skin. All of the characters in this film are quite creepy and stick out in our minds as some of the best looking horror antagonists to date, ranking high up there with the Freddy Kruger's of the world. There is a lot of oozing and bubbling of bodily fluids and blood as well as other grotesque imagery, all of which is sure to give you the willies. Julia's step-daughter Kirsty, played by Ashley Laurence, is the closest this film has to a hero character. She is the one who uncovers Frank and Julia's wicked plan, but it isn't until the second half of the film where she becomes a major character as she inadvertently summons the Cenobites. When push comes to shove, you aren't going to find a whole lot of complex plot here. There aren't many twists and turns but the visual horror is so great, you won't even care that the story is basic. This is definitely a good choice for viewing during Halloween week.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 8/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 63%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Pieces"

One year ago, we were watching: "Rosemary's Baby"

Movie Review: "The ABCs of Death" (2012)

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Movie: "The ABCs of Death"
Director: Various
Year: 2012
Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours, 9 minutes

The "ABCs of Death" is a short film anthology where each short films deals with a different method of death starting with each letter of the alphabet from A to Z. This is our brief review of each from A to Z.

A is for Awesome, at least that's how the film opens with the short "Apocalypse." It starts with a woman running into a room and hacking a man's hand in half with a butcher knife. Then, she proceeds to stab him in the neck. The scene is short but very brutal, though the apocalypse happening in the background all seems like happenstance and has nothing to do with the death itself. We liked this one.

B is Bizarre, which is what the short titled "Bigfoot" is. A couple tells a little girl a bedtime story about the abominable snowman to scare her into sleeping. Yes, that's always a great idea! Fiction becomes reality when a murderer kills the couple in the manner they describe in the story as the little girl stays safe by pretending to sleep. Like "Apocalypse," none of this has anything to do with Bigfoot, thus, the aforementioned bizarre descriptor. Still, it remains effective enough.

C is for Cool Concept, which is what the short "Cycle" has. A man is repeatedly killed by his exact double only for another to appear in a never ending cycle of murder. This was one of the best shorts in the series.

D is for Deranged, which accurately describes the mind of the man who thought up "Dogfight." In an underground fight club, a man is pitted against a dog in a fight to the death. To be honest, we were rooting for the dog automatically, even though the man is not described in any way, shape or form. Was his name Michael Vick or something? There is no dialogue in the short and it has a bit of a twist ending. A decent one for sure.

E is for Eerie, which is the feeling we get while watching "Exterminate." How you feel about this short will directly correlate with your love or hate of spiders as one torments a man after man tries to kill it and fails. It bites him and then does the scariest, most unnerving thing a spider can do while the man lies asleep in his bed.....ewwwww, gross, awful, but also wholly effective, too.

F is for Funny, as in what else can it be with the title "Fart"? The first in a series of shorts by a Japanese director, a schoolgirl has crush on her female teacher. She desperately wants to sniff her teacher's farts, which are deadly stinky. This is obviously the best short of the bunch because we're teenagers. What else really needs to be said? It's unbelievably weird and yet also fittingly one of our favorites. Hilarious, deathly, gross.

G is for Go-Pro, as in it's probably what was used to film this first person found footage short entitled "Gravity." A guy drives to the beach, loads bricks in his backpack, and paddles out into the ocean on a surfboard. We're sure you can imagine what happens next and we're sure it will be more interesting than anything that wound up on screen in this short. This is the point in the film at which we began to ask ourselves, "what the hell?"

H is for Humor, which the short "Hydro Electric Diffusion" has in spades. It feels like a live action cartoon as a dog pilot watches what looks like a fox or cat stripper. This stripper turns out to be a Nazi and attempts to kill the dog in the most outrageous, over the top, convoluted way possible. It's all very much like an R-rated Looney Toons. Quite a sight to behold.

I is for Insane, which is what the killer in "Ingrown" has been driven. He takes syringe full of drain cleaner and injects it in a woman who has been tied up in a tub. This short is all kinds of disturbing and gross, and just when you think it can't get worse, the woman starts puking and scratching herself raw. All of this happens as a voice-over explains who the woman is. Very unsettling.

J is for Japan, which is where Jaidai-Geki was made. What appears to be a samurai wearing a headband whose face distorts into weird facial expressions, distracts another samurai who looks like he is performing an execution. This is very weird little short, but it's also pretty funny with a darkly humorous theme as it slowly reveals what's going on. We won't give this one away.

K is for Kooky, which is fitting for the animated short "Klutz." A woman has just finished using the bathroom, but she runs into trouble when her poop won't flush. Said poop seems to be alive as it squeaks and swims around all over the place. This turns into a battle of woman versus feces. As she vigorously tries to flush it down the toilet, the poo fights back, culminating in a gruesome climax. Again, one of the better shorts.

L is for Loathe, as in we loathed the short "Libido." We get it, director Timo Tjahjanto like to push the buttons with what they can get away with, but there's a difference between gross and 'this shouldn't have ever been made.' Men are strapped to chairs and are forced to masturbate at whatever is put in front of them or be killed. They are gradually given more extreme or disgusting situations to jerk it to and this short crosses a hard line with us as it implies the men are forced to touch themselves to a child being molested. This is the lowest of low point in anything we have seen in quite a while. I had to leave the room at one point. In the spirit of effectiveness, the director of this short attempted something truly disgusting and was obviously done by someone with a truly sick mind. This is the point at which we came very close to turning the movie off. L is definitely a letter to fast forward through if you're going to watch this anthology.

M is for Messed Up, which is what the short "Miscarriage" is. The film shows a woman dealing with a clogged toilet, and if you read the title, we really don't need to explain any further. Gross.

N is for Nefarious in the way the man cheated on his girlfriend and the way she takes revenge in "Nuptials." A man shows off his trained talking parrot and its tricks to his girlfriend, and the finale of this display is a marriage proposal. Their happiness is short lived as the parrot won't shut up and outs the man for cheating on his now fiance. This leads her to quick and bloody revenge. It was simple yet effective, and one of the better shorts of the middle portion of the movie.

O is for Odd, and that is what "Orgasm" really is. A woman sits in a chair tripping in a psychedelic manner while she receives oral sex. Like many of the other shorts, there is no dialogue and it has a lot of strange visuals, many you'd never think would show up on screen. Not a bad one, but forgettable.

P is for Poignant, which is what the director of "Pressure" is trying to be in their short. A single mother to many kids by day and a prostitute by night tries to earn enough money to buy her daughter a bike for her birthday. She also steps on a rat. Less gorerror, more real-life horror.

Q is for Quirky as "Quack" is quite quirky. The film is shot like a behind-the-scenes documentary where the director complains about getting Q in this film series. They are baffled about what to do with the letter Q in relation to death, so they decide to shoot a duck, supposedly for real. But no worries, because in the end, there is an unexpected and humorous twist. Another great short.

R is for Random, as in what happens on screen in "Removes." Doctors remove skin from a man's back, which looks like a disgusting cooked turkey. They then run that skin through a liquid and pull out developed film strips. Again, this is another short where there is is no dialogue and it's all very confusing, as well as quite bloody and gross. This patient eventually takes revenge on his doctor, but again pulls off his own skin which he rolls up and uses as a bullet...like we said, random.

S is for Style, which is the kind the short "Speed"  borrows from: 70's grindhouse films, one of our favorite random genres. It has a grainy look in a desert setting. There is some action with car chase and shootouts, but again, like many of the others, ends with a twist and maybe with not the speed we were thinking of. Another pretty good one.

T is for Trippy because that's what the claymation in "Toilet" is for sure. A young boy who is being potty trained has a very vivid nightmare about the toilet being a monster that wants to eat him and his family. Once awake and needing to use the toilet, he may have to face his dream becoming a reality. This one is actually pretty fun and we like the animation style, the voices, and the overall aesthetic of the short.

U is for Underwhelmed, the feeling we got watching "Unearthed." Much like the film G, this is shot with first-person camerawork. We watch everything from the perspective of a vampire that has been tracked down by vampire hunters. The whole thing felt quite gimmicky and wasn't one of the better shorts.

V is for the Vibrant action in "Vagitus." This is a sci-fi style action horror that takes place in a future Vancouver. As part of population control, a special police force hunts down and destroys any unauthorized births, but the unauthorized baby in this story isn't quite what he seems. Oh, and there is a pretty cool robot as well. The last good short of the bunch.

W is for Weird, and that's exactly why it's titled "WTF." The short opens with a heavy metal style animation sequence. Then, much like "Quack," it jumps to a documentary style as the filmmakers debate what to do with the letter W. But, going the opposite of "Quack," they argue over the letter W's versatility. They rattle off suggestions while many crazy things happen all over the place, such as zombie clowns and many other things. It's very disjointed, and in the end we were really like WTF, even out loud. There were so many things that could have been done with not only W, but with WTF, and this is what they decided to choose?

X is for Xenodochial, something that other people were not to the protagonist of "XXL." A woman rides the subway and walks home. The entire journey, she is berated and called named by strangers ranging from ugly and fat to bitch. She is surrounded by images of skinny, beautiful women on her trip home. Once she gets there, she take some unimaginably extreme measures to lose her excess body fat. This one is pretty graphic and gory and is actually kind of disturbing to watch.

Y is Yuck as "Young Buck" is the second film is the series to imply child molestation. A child hunts and kills dear with a bow & arrow with the help of an old man. It then cuts to kids playing basketball all set to a power motivation montage song while a weird janitor, which turns out is the same old man from before, watches. He then proceeds lick the sweat of the bench where the team was sitting. We don't want to go into it much further as it's all very gross and it disturbing us even thinking about it again.

Z is for Zany, which is par for the course with all of the entires from the country of Japan, and "Zetsumetsu (Extinction)" is no different. The main male character is clearly inspired by Dr. Strangelove, but not much else is. It seems it makes comparisons between the US and Nazi Germany. A female character is attacked by another woman with giant strap-on penis, and as the two battle it out, one shoots vegetables from her vagina, which land in a pot of water, and she then pulls out a sword and starts chopping up the giant schlong with the pieces landing in the pot as well. Then, the giant penis bleeds rice and it's all made into a soup and fed to people wearing missiles on their heads. Yeah, all that just happened. Seriously, what the hell??

In the end, we wouldn't recommend "The ABCs of Death" to casual horror fans as the range of stories varies in extremity. It's the really, really bad letters that off-set any really good ones, making the film as a whole sort of a crapshoot in terms of content. We're sort of glad this review is over now.

My Rating: 5/10
BigJ's Rating: 5/10
IMDB's Rating: 4.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: Meh.
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Two years ago, we were watching: "The Convent"

One year ago, we were watching: "The Mist"

Movie Review: "Deadheads" (2011)

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Movie: "Deadheads"
Director: Brett and Drew Pierce
Year: 2011
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 36 minutes

Mike (Michael McKiddy) and Brent (Ross Kidder) have recently woken up as zombies. Even though they are now the undead, they have the same mannerisms and intellect they did when they were alive. All Mike wants to do is get back to his girlfriend to tell her how he feels. So, Brent and Mike go on a road trip in search of Mike's long lost love, all the while being pursued by a research team trying to capture them.  

Booooooooooooooooooooooring.

Zombie themed horror comedies are quite common, going as far back as "Return of Living Dead" and probably even earlier. Some of them are very funny and some, well, not so much.

This one is not so much.

Mike, played by Michael McKiddy, and Brett, played by Ross Kidder, are zombies, but unlike most zombies who just stumble about stupidly with an insatiable desire to feed on human flesh, Mike and Brett are relatively normal other than the fact that they are dead. They are just as smart as they were when they were alive (which isn't saying much), they have most their memories in tact, and they don't even have the desire to eat people. The only thing distinguishable about them is they look decaying and gross. Mike just wants to get back to the woman he loved while he was alive so he can tell her what she meant to him and that he was going to propose to her but was thwarted from doing so, and Brett just wants to help him out on his journey. The zombie premise is flimsily interwoven into the scripts and in turn, becomes a zombie road trip movie. The only problem is Mike and Brett are being pursued by the genetics company that created the zombies for a military project and are trying to keep their activities under wraps. Really, the tension is nil. Because the characters are zombies, they are able to use some extreme slapstick where they can lose an arm or get shot and just keep going as if nothing happened. A lot of the other jokes here come from their old traveling companion who likes to talk about how sexually freaky his late wife was and how he carries her ashes around with him. Unfortunately, so much of this movie just falls flat on its face and isn't able to recover like the zombies can. The zombie aspect of the movie seems almost tacked on at the end, as if it made it better that they were zombies, because without this premise, this movie would be boring as shit, not that it isn't already. The lead characters lack the charisma and likability to really make us laugh at their jokes or make us care their redundant, played out quest because, let's face it, this premise has been done so many times over the years that "Deadheads" really needed to make it something special in order for it to stick out in ours minds, but instead, they managed to make the situations far less interesting by removing many of the character's natural zombie desires. In the end, the whole film is super forgettable and shouldn't be classified as a horror in the slightest.

My Rating: 4/10
BigJ's Rating: 4.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 5.4/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: ---%
Do we recommend this movie: No.
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Two years ago, we were watching: "The Changeling"

One year ago, we were watching: "Hell's Ground"

Movie Review: "Creep" (2014)

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Movie: "Creep"
Director: Patrick Brice
Year: 2014
Rating: R
Running Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

Josef (Mark Duplass) puts an add on Craigslist saying he needs a cameraman for a discrete project. A videographer named Aaron (Patrick Brice) answers the add and takes the job. Josef tells Aaron that he has an inoperable brain tumor and is shooting a "day in the life of dad" video for his unborn son. As the day moves on, it becomes clear to Aaron that Josef isn't exactly right in the head and may not be telling the truth. Josef may also have some ulterior motives and is a bit of a creep. 

Written by and starring both Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice (who also directed the film), "Creep" is a low budget, small scale found footage horror/dramedy with a mild amount of buzz from social media. Duplass plays Josef, a man who claims to be dying. He took an add out on Craigslist to hire a videographer to film a day in his life for his unborn son since he won't be around to see him grow up. Aaron, played by Patrick Brice, is the cameraman who accepts the job and goes to Josef's remote cabin to shoot this footage. At first, Aaron feels bad for Josef because he had no clue he was dying. They travel around to all of Josef's favorite places, remote woods, a small restaurant he said was his favorite place to eat, a hidden heart-shaped pool of water with rumored "healing powers." After some unsettling remarks and some uncertain claims by Josef, things spiral out of control for the two men irreparably.

Josef and Aaron are the only two characters to ever appear on camera throughout the duration of the movie which gives it the feel of a student-made film, or perhaps something you'd make with your friends. This also makes it much more sinister as no one else knows about their meeting with one another. Even though found footage is not our favorite sub-genre and type of film making, the found footage style works in this circumstance. The fact that it is limited to just two characters really does add the movie's overall creepiness factor. There is a really eerie, great mood throughout the film, and much of the time, you'll feel very unsettled while watching it. Mark Duplass does such a good job of being just weird enough as Josef. He walks a very thin line between goofiness and insanity. While we watched, we had to ask ourselves, "Is this a guy who is simply trying to make the most of what little life he has left, or is he really more maniacal with an ulterior motive to this little job he's hired Aaron to do?" As a character, Josef certainly does and says some weird things, but he always seems to have an excuse or an explanation as to why he does and say what he does and says. There is something behind his smile that is quite unnerving, and Duplass is unsuspecting enough to pull it off with flying colors. Though we don't see or hear much of Aaron until the end of the movie, as with any movie of the horror genre, the audience will yell at the screen when we know he's doing something stupid. Here, the things Aaron does eventually have a purpose, but we still can't help but be angry by his stupidity.

"Creep" isn't the type of horror film that relies on blood or gore to scare its audience, and though it does have the occasional jump scare, it doesn't overdo it and everything here work together very well to create a wonderful little film. It's the psychological aspect, the setting of the film, and the fact that it's a scenario that could happen in real life which makes this an effective horror and a thrilling movie. We weren't expecting much, and I was blown away to say the least. I was creeped out all night and for an entire day about this film, so we urge you to watch it to see if you want to feel the same way.

My Rating: 8/10
BigJ's Rating: 7.5/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 95%
Do we recommend this movie: Yes!
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Two years ago, we were watching: "Halloween"

One year ago, we were watching: "Black Sheep"